Midwives not helping after C-section

[Emma5557]

Hello, before making an official complaint I want to be sure I am on the right side.
I got an emergency C-section at around 2am and after that I was moved to the post natal ward. The midwifes who followed me during the labour were excellent and told me to ask for help to the midwifes on the post natal ward anytime considering I could not move for the surgery. On the same day in the afternoon I got my catheter removed and I was able to walk, but still in pain while standing (obviously!). Most midwifes told me I needed to do things by myself like going from the the room to the end of the corridor to grab a bottle of water, or even lift up my luggage to take the clothes for my baby. How on earth am I supposed to lift a luggage after not even 24h from the C-section?!

I can’t get over that they leave women exhausted, after major surgery, to look after newborn infants on their own with almost no support. It is such a huge failing of our health system that would be considered outrageous in any other situation.

I had an emergency c section nearly 8 years ago. But brought to the ward about 4.30ish, baby was born 3.12am. I was left with my dd in my arms in a towel nappy and the nurse buzzer on the floor! I was unable to move. I remember messaging my partner like wtf!

Then when a midwife came an hour or so later, I think she was a bit stern for me for still having the baby in my arms!

Not much I could do. Though after that initial encounter, they were really good on the ward!

Telling op to get out of there quickly is not very useful advice. Complain, it is not a personal slight against any particular midwife but maybe the more complaints they receive the more inclined hospitals will be to make changes. A c section is major abdominal surgery. You shouldn't have to beg for pain killers, they should be offered every few hours and the mother should be cared for as much as the child. I couldn't pull up my knickers without being in pain after my section for the fislrstbfew days. Both times after 24 hours, when the catheter was removed I took care of my baby but they should be aware of which mothers have had a section and that they will likely need extra support that first night.

Sadly you are not alone in your experience, yanbu they should have helped you. You should never have to put up and shut up.

I was the last person to have a section when I had my dd, I was on the postnatal ward at 10pm and my dh and mum were told to leave. Dd woke up several times the first night and a midwife huffed at me when I asked her is she could pass me my dd so I could check on her. It was an all round shitty experience and the lack of care contributed to what I now know was pnd.

@emilyfrost that's not true of everywhere.

I only needed to test before I got admitted for my induction, and that was enough for my husband to be allowed in.

Due to complications, I'm now having a csection and my husband can attend with no test required.

But if where you are they ARE getting tested then it makes the whole thing even more insane. Let the dads stay!

IamC Ahh okay. I was tested before my induction, and DH was tested when induction started. He was allowed to stay, but if the result had come back positive they would have asked him to leave.

It doesn’t make sense at all that with a negative test, when he’d been in the exact same place as me the whole time and hadn’t left, that he then had to leave after the birth “due to covid”.

@Inkpaperstars

I've said it once and I'll say it again, I would fully support a Mumsnet campaign on this issue. I don't think women should be lifted and laid, but I do think we deserve to be seen entirely as patients for at least 24hrs after delivery and receive care accordingly.

I agree, this is what MN should campaign about. This bad care in the postnatal period is a danger to mothers and babies, and a very traumatic start to motherhood.

I agree wholeheartedly. A campaign about this is exactly what Mumsnet should be for. It is desperately desperately needed, at the very least to raise awareness and have this become a public conversation, and above all to change things in postnatal "care". @MNHQ

I don't know if working on the post natal ward turns people into bitches or it just attracts that type of person? I had amazing care from the HCA on the maternity ward, I had this stay in my room longer due to some complications. When I moved to postnatal my DH wasn't there, the staff are just so cold, one shouted at me and was very rude. I'm not even a first time mother and I'm a very robust person, but hormones, exhaustion and the pain changes you. I don't know if there was some judgement there, but this was just before Covid as now no one would have their DH with them.

Also they say buzz if you need help feeding, either nobody comes after repeated buzzes or someone comes who has no idea. With my first they poor girl ( and she was very young) said it was her first day and she said she couldn't help as she had no idea. I don't know what her job title was, but it's shit. I couldn't get out of there fast enough both times. I actually cried when they wanted me to stay in and I insisted I wanted to go home .

In fairness the people bringing the dinners were lovely, mostly didn't speak English, so you got what you were given despite what you chose on your menu options.

I probably shouldn’t have read this thread as a pregnant women with her first. There are a lot of depressing stories.

I’ve had abdominal surgery before so I know how difficult and painful it is to move and bend. It’s crazy they leave women in that state to care for a new born child. Especially if you’re a first time mum.

Also I get that if you’ve endured something and survived it you think everyone else should just suck it up and get on with it like you did. But really complaining and putting pressure for change is a good thing to improve care and experiences for women. In your complaint you can mention the lack of staff and don’t have to target specific people unless they’ve been really nasty.

Congratulations OP sorry you’re not having a good experience.

I actually don't think it is just post natal care that is lacking. I've had 3 c sections and agree you are very much 'encouraged' or rather expected, to get on with it. I vividly remember hobbling to try to fetch some breakfast for myself! As for pain relief I had to fill in some paperwork and was left with the tablets to do my own.

However I've also spent time on an orthopaedic ward where I was made to feel a nuisance for wanting to be wheeled to the toilet and back rather than just having a bed pan. There is a massive need for nurses or assistants to do these basic tasks.

I'm having a c section tomorrow and this post has made me very sad and very scared, hope you're okay op, I'd complain if I was you.. shouldn't be made to feel like that x

Best of luck @HarleyQuinn21, here’s hoping you have a much better and smoother experience

I experienced rude and snappy staff on the postnatal ward too. The dynamic was weird- I sort of felt like I was back at school and the healthcare staff were like strict teachers with authority over me- rather than simply other adults working for a service I’d chosen to use. I’ve never experienced the same kind of treatment as a grown adult from another adult- being literally ‘told off’, patronised and spoken down to.

Maternity care is weird.

@HarleyQuinn21 try not to worry; I was so apprehensive before my recent section because of the reasons on this thread, but the midwives were lovely and happy to help within minutes every time I buzzed. If you have time, add snacks, painkillers and a large prefilled water bottle to your bag, and get the midwives to help you unpack them to somewhere you can reach as soon as you get to postnatal. Then you'll feel more in control of some of your most immediate needs, if support is less than perfect. It's really only the first 24-36 hours you need help, if all goes well. Good luck - you'll be home with your lovely baby in just a few days x

Not to mention many c sections are emergency and the women may be traumatised by what they've experienced. A new baby is a shock but add on a traumatic and exhausting labour. You expect support after the most traumatic and demanding experience of your life and then you end up in a field hospital in a war zone. The midwives call it 'Beirut'. You've lost a lot of blood and you haven't slept in days and you're using your last energy and reserves to try to breastfeed a hungry baby. This is a pretty average experience, some have it better but some have it much worse. Suddenly the world does not feel as equal as it was before.

It's bonkers. My grandmother and mum were in hospital for 2 weeks and waited on hand and foot - their recollection. I remember telling my husband , what if I didn't have any support at home. It's bonkers. I was in hospital for 48 hours. My husband had to do everything after - with support from family.

@Emma5557 i do hope you are doing a bit better now op

I have had 2 emergency sections, 10 years and 5 years ago. My experience was the same. Once I was wheeled from recovery to a post natal Ward I was on my own. I was shocked the morning after my section (when I could barely feel my own legs) to be told the toaster was at the end of the ward and I could help myself! I ended up going without as I didn't want to leave my baby and I was in absolute agony. Dd 2 was bottle fed from birth due to very low blood sugars. Every couple of hours I had to walk with her to the opposite end of the ward to make her a bottle. I understand the importance of mobilising post surgery, but in my opinion the lack of care was appalling. I've seen plenty of threads on here over the years with women who had similar experiences. Congratulations on your new arrival!

Morning @HarleyQuinn21 I hope it all goes well for you today. I had a fantastic experience after my c section last week in terms of staff.

They could not have helped me more, both physically and emotionally. It's been really tough adjusting to being a new FTM with a premature baby whilst trying to recover myself. Take it easy, and if your recovery is anything like mine, ask for lactulose and something to help with trapped IMMEDIATELY so you have it ready! 🤪

@augetout your right!! Very odd!

You do want to left with your baby but when your in so much pain your shuffling like a hunchback granny a teeny tiny bit of empathy wouldn't go a miss.

Their eyes practically rolled at me when I asked if they could help me sit up & out of bed for the first time to go for my first wee. (Which id just had the threat of you've got 2 hours to fill this cup after catheter came out...)

Those that have had a section know how hard this is!

This thread is horrifying. I would wholeheartedly support a campaign to raise awareness and lobby for a change in postnatal care.

I was lucky enough to have textbook vaginal deliveries with my 2, but definitely experienced what @augetout said. I can’t imagine how horrible it would have been if I’d been in pain and vulnerable after a c section

The dynamic was weird- I sort of felt like I was back at school and the healthcare staff were like strict teachers with authority over me- rather than simply other adults working for a service I’d chosen to use. I’ve never experienced the same kind of treatment as a grown adult from another adult- being literally ‘told off’, patronised and spoken down to

Despite not needing any help or doing anything wrong all the postnatal midwives spoke to me like a naughty schoolgirl (I was 30!) and one would talk over my head to DH - who, being in possession of a penis, was treated like an actual adult of course. Totally bizarre. They all contradicted themselves too. With my second DC, just 18 months later, I was polite but very consciously spoke to everyone in the same way I would an employee. Warm, friendly, but with authority.

Unfortunately, that is the norm for most post-natal care after a c-section. I had an emergency c-section, lost a massive amount of blood, was bed bound and couldn't move AT ALL because of the complications with my surgery and the midwives made it clear that I was a massive inconvenience when I buzzed, even though I literally couldn't move because of complications.

My cesarean feels like it was so easy compared to all the "horror stories" on here. I lost a lot of blood so was kept in recovery until gone 7pm, surgery at 10:30am but I wanted to be up and about. That damn catheter was my biggest hurdle, once that was out I was off and nagging to go home. My husband had only had his cast off a broken leg the day after birth and went to get his hair cut before coming to check on me "eye roll".

I can’t believe what I’m reading on here!

I had my first baby in Australia and the midwife regularly came around to check on me seeing if I needed a hand with anything. I buzzed her anytime I was breastfeeding as I needed help doing so. It was a natural birth so can’t comment on the surgical aspect.

I had a d&c post MC last month in an Irish hospital. I buzzed the midwife for help putting on my underwear, for a piece of toast, for tea, for help getting to the bathroom.... they were so helpful and lovely.

This thread reflects so poorly on UK healthcare tbh.

@TheSockMonster exactly this for me
Too. I asked for advice with swollen legs and was told off for not putting my
Feet up. I appreciate lifting my legs up was appropriate but the way it was said like , lift your legs up you silly girl.
I'll never forget this nurse coming in to read over the "going home" checks with me. She was half asking me questions and half giggling with the other nurses about something. It was so rude and I felt so vulnerable. She didn't give a crap.

I left the hospital at 7pm and no one batted an eyelid. I just walked out and no one said anything.

I guess I was lucky! I had a C Section 5 weeks ago and was put afterwards on a special ward for women who have had a section. I was told in no uncertain terms to ring the buzzer anytime I needed anything done, even picking up the baby. The midwives and Maternity Care Assistants were amazing, even changing nappies and dressing the baby for me. I remember a MCA singing my baby a lullaby to settle her in the middle of the night and it was like she was soothing me too. 😂

I ended up staying for three nights to get feeding established - I probably could have gone after two but knew I should take advantage of having all that help on hand while it was there.

I'm sorry to hear that not everyone has the same positive experience.