Midwives not helping after C-section

[Emma5557]

Hello, before making an official complaint I want to be sure I am on the right side.
I got an emergency C-section at around 2am and after that I was moved to the post natal ward. The midwifes who followed me during the labour were excellent and told me to ask for help to the midwifes on the post natal ward anytime considering I could not move for the surgery. On the same day in the afternoon I got my catheter removed and I was able to walk, but still in pain while standing (obviously!). Most midwifes told me I needed to do things by myself like going from the the room to the end of the corridor to grab a bottle of water, or even lift up my luggage to take the clothes for my baby. How on earth am I supposed to lift a luggage after not even 24h from the C-section?!

To all the people saying that the birthing partner / OH should have made sure that things were accessible - they are not allowed on the post natal ward at all at the moment so the OP would have very much been on her own! That was certainly the case for me anyway and I am sure the same rules are in place everywhere.

The morning after my emergency c section I was told to get in the shower and remove the dressing so that they could see if I was fit to go home. There was nobody to help me or get my things. I was told to take the baby into the bathroom with me but that's the one thing I refused to do and asked somebody else to watch him. It's a very scary and lonely place to be at the moment OP so I completely sympathise but sadly I think it is very common.

Insist on pain relief. They will leave you to grimace and get on with it otherwise. If you stay on top of your pain meds you should be able to manage.

There is no other type of major surgery where people are treated like this.

My health insurance covered me to have both of my caesareans privately, at the point of delivery onwards - a couple of appointments beforehand with my consultant but most of my routine antenatal appointments on the NHS. They also paid for my postnatal appointments with him.

Agree with @MsHedgehog. I've also had both a section and other abdominal surgery and the expectations are very different, for no good reason. I think you should complain - PALS are your starting point. The idea that this is fine really and women just need to get on with it should be challenged. As pp have said, it wouldn't happen to men.

I remember ringing the buzzer in the night and no one came (a lady delivered in the toilet!). It's not acceptable and there should be extra staff to help with baby care.

I’ve had 2 c-sections. Yep, they leave you to get on with it

I didn't have a c-section but a very close friend had a remarkably similar experience after hers. She was basically ignored, waiting 20+ minutes for a response to her buzzer and made to feel a nuisance for asking for help getting dressed etc. It does make me wonder - if assisting and supporting patients after major surgery isn't within the remit of midwives and MCAs on postnatal wards, what is their job?

Encouraging you to move to fetch water is common throughout hospitals, they realised a long time ago that it doesn't help recovery being in bed. Asking for help with luggage seems more necessary but might need context eg had they already helped you once and you didn't get enough out, was it a particularly busy time and not actually essential? When I had Dd women were moaning because you had to fetch your own food from the serving area but I could see afterwards that it actually helped make sure everyone got moving a few metres

That's pretty standard. You also need to move to prevent clotting. I didn't have a problem with it - it was uncomfortable and took some time to get used to how to manoeuvre but I'm sure that would also be the case with a vaginal birth.

I had my first c section 3.5 years ago at a small hospital with under 10 postnatal beds and midwives were busy but I had help to mobilise, to get things I struggled with and pain meds when I needed to. I was encouraged to move around but encouraged rather than shamed about it. Second section at a big hospital with 30 ish post natal beds and they took my catheter out but no support to mobilise (had to wait for DH to come in luckily it was before the pandemic), had to wait 15 minutes for someone to come when I was 5 hours post section and struggling to pick up my baby, had to wait an hour for pain relief when I was literally crying in pain; none of this was the midwives being unkind or unhelpful but because they were so over stretched. I’m not blaming the midwives but I don’t think it meant it was acceptable

@FortunesFave

I agree some women may have a condition which might make recovery harder BUT most women don't but seem to expect some kind of room service on the maternity ward ....I heard it myself on the ward last week and quite honestly I could see why the midwives got exasperated.

Midwives aren't there to top your water up - there are health care assistants/Porter type assistants that pop round for that. Midwives are there to do a particular specialist job

They are chronically understaffed and even more so at the moment with having to isolate etc not to mention the ones I spoke to who couldn't get a space at the school for their children at the moment because of the all the other (STAHP) parents claiming to be a "key worker" taking up spaces - but OP wants to complain because she didn't get the full experience she was expecting?? No wonder midwives are also quitting in droves 🤷‍♀️

We had to walk to get things we needed once catheter removed - good to walk a bit anyway and had a shower etc.

But HCA helped with lifting luggage onto the bed so I could get the things I needed and then putting it down again. They also helped me stand up from bed when I didn't believe I could do it!!!

That's not to say that you shouldn't complain if you weren't happy with your care though.

I must have been very lucky as there were plenty care assistants who came in and would offer help but don’t really remember asking for any help specifically so it may not have come.
I was in a private room by luck too so when I did ring the bell (like when passed a massive clot) they came really quickly.

Just to add I think visitors/dads not being able to come onto postnatal wards has made things even harder for midwives who were over stretched already. After both my sections DH did things like help me get dressed, get me water, put things for the baby in reach when he had to go home, help me get to the toilet for the first time.

I cannot believe what I'm reading! I'm in hospital (NHS) at the moment after an emergency c section and my experience could not be more different!

Yes, they are very keen to promote walking around, yes, they congratulate getting own water, etc etc, but every time I've asked for something or for help it's been provided straight away, with no issues whatsoever and certainly not with any huffing and puffing.

I'm very sorry for people who had or are having a negative experience, we should expect more, not accept less. 🙄. Hope you can get home soon OP and enjoy being with your family, you should not be lifting your own fucking luggage.

@Usermn78

The woman is in pain and immobile 24 hours after surgery and expected to care for an infant.

Mumsnet : Congratulations! Get on with it and don't complain.

Can you imagine what postnatal care would be like if men had babies?

Op, it's good to gently mobilise but ask for help for everything else. And it's OK if this all feels awful. It is. You could pay off my mortgage and I wouldn't swap with you. It will get better soon x

I totally agree with you.

I'm sick of seeing 'don't complain', 'don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say' etc.

Things will never change if nobody raises the issue.

@ivfbeenbusy

Honestly I think your expectations are way off.....I had an emergency c section for twins just over a week ago. Was on my feet in 6 hours visiting my babies in NICU and catheter out after 8 hours. Home after 2 nights. Midwives aren't maids. They want you up on your feet moving around because it helps with recovery and the pain is less. It's when you lie in bed all day barely moving that it hurts more when you do do something.

I was only on paracetamol and ibruprofen too

You have no basis for a complaint

Good for you, but I really struggled after my twins and was certainly not up and about like this. You seem to have had a great experience, but I struggled and was in lots of pain afterwards. It took weeks to recover.

I was left to it OP and was really shocked by the lack of aftercare.

When I visited my father after his hernia operation, he was treated like a king. It was very different to my experience after major abdominal surgery with two babies to care for.

This is awful. I've had two c sections, including one last summer when DH was only allowed in for an hour a day. The support was fantastic - both babies born late morning, and I wasn't expected to be getting them in and out of the cot or changing them until my catheter was out 24 hours later. Second time around the support workers were fantastic, rummaging in my bags for baby clothes, nappies, pads, snacks, drinks. I wasn't hounding them either, support was actively offered.

I was asked if I wanted to stay one night or two and choose two as I had a toddler at home and wanted support with feeding.

I was in a wonderful NHS maternity unit, clearly more adequately staffed than the norm.

My thoughts as someone who has had a section and is an ex-midwife....

There are 3 issues here as I see it.

1. Midwives are ridiculously stretched and have no time to offer basic care sometimes let alone being helpful.

2. It IS better for recovery to be up on your feet (gently with no lifting!) as soon as you can

3. Many midwives have lost any sense of empathy and fail to appreciate that it is painful, frightening and a lot of women are completely shell shocked following (often) traumatic emergency surgery and now also have a tiny human to care for, hormones whizzing around and are downright exhausted.
   There is no excuse for unkindness.
   OP - I remember having a similar experience on the ward after my first baby (long labour followed by emergency section). I vowed never to make women feel like an inconvenience in my own work.

Had a section in June.
Staff involved before & during C Section were great but afterwards on the post natal ward it was shocking!
Yep OP your not alone.
I was really shell shocked after.
Attitudes of staff really poor too.

I appreciate how busy they are but when you've got 6-7 staff gossiping & bitching around the ward desk, no masks or distancing & women are crying out for pain relief it's really poor.

Are all patients having major abdominal surgery asked to get up and move about a bit hours after their op or is just cs?

My midwife said it's major abdominal surgery. Any other type and you'd be kept in hospital for two weeks to rest.

Hooray for all the people who managed and were skipping home. It's not like that for everyone. And whilst encouraging recovery is great I've found the attitude of staff on the ward varying from incredibly supportive to rude and dismissive.

Yes op. I would mention it to pals. It'll probably come back as not enough staff. But I would have it recorded as if they don't know there's a problem they can't change it.

It's not about being waited on hand and foot. Since when is getting pain relief after major surgery a luxury?

You're not alone. First of all congratulations. I had twins and expected to be able to recover after the birth. I felt bad ringing the bell to ask for help. I remember one midwife - I asked to sleep as I was hooked up to a transfusion. I went on my phone to text my husband and she commented quite nastily that I still wasn't sleeping as I said I wanted to. I found the healthcare workers much more empathetic and helpful. The midwives I had after birth were much more concerned with paper work and logging down everything I said.

After my planned done midwives helped me by lifting her in and out of the cot and bringing me drinks. However after having the catheter out I had agonising pains in my urethra, to the point of crying, not just when going to the toilet but when in bed. They weren't sympathetic but did test for a uti which was clear. What I found hard was the annoyance of my previously nice visiting midwife when I was finding it difficult to inject myself in the stomach at home.

I had a horrible post CS experience on a ward too, I was in for a week. I was supposed to ring for staff before trying to lift and then later before feeding my baby - I'd have to sit through her crying while I rang the bell. A few midwives had really mean attitudes and were sarcastic and rude. I wouldn't have believed it before I was in hospital.

There aren't enough staff. The NHS has a horrible management culture. The staff are incentivised to allocate their scarce time to meeting targets, kindness doesn't get a look-in. The midwives and assistants probably are doing the right thing, helping those who are most at risk of complications, but it's a miserable experience if you need help but not desperately.

When I was in with DD 4 years ago, DH could stay in the whole time and I could not have managed without him. We had to express and do top ups as well as trying to breastfeed every 3 hours - I would have had zero sleep if he wasn't there to sterilise the pumps and bottles and give DD a top up feed while I pumped. The wards must be even more stretched without all the partners being around to help.

It should be a scandal, how women are treated. I'm sure a bit of investment in staff would pay off in reduced PND, fewer complications etc.