Midwives not helping after C-section

[Emma5557]

Hello, before making an official complaint I want to be sure I am on the right side.
I got an emergency C-section at around 2am and after that I was moved to the post natal ward. The midwifes who followed me during the labour were excellent and told me to ask for help to the midwifes on the post natal ward anytime considering I could not move for the surgery. On the same day in the afternoon I got my catheter removed and I was able to walk, but still in pain while standing (obviously!). Most midwifes told me I needed to do things by myself like going from the the room to the end of the corridor to grab a bottle of water, or even lift up my luggage to take the clothes for my baby. How on earth am I supposed to lift a luggage after not even 24h from the C-section?!

“When I visited my father after his hernia operation, he was treated like a king. It was very different to my experience after major abdominal surgery with two babies to care for.“

This is my experience as well, after both my CS I was very much left to get on with it, they wouldn’t even help me get my first to latch when he was struggling to feed, very sleepy due to undiagnosed jaundice. I was only a few hours post surgery. They told me to express instead, gave me a pot and when I asked how her reply was “with your hand”.

My partner has his appendix out and was waited on hand and foot! Pain relief was never late, cups of tea in bed etc. Obviously key hole surgery for appendicitis is a much more minor op.

I couldn’t wait to get home both times! I very much agree that you need to move as much as possible, but you need to be sensible and careful as well. When I was at home I was told off both times, nicely, for doing too much in the week or so afterwards, by the community midwives and HV. So it really doesn’t make sense to me why so many women, are giving such a lack of care on postnatal wards.

I was left too, and forgotten about completely at one point. I wish I could of made a complaint but I was too traumatised to bring it up again. I'm due in august, I'll make sure I'm not treated the same then

You should have received support. It's great if some people are feeling good enough to walk to the end of the corridoor and back a couple of hours after an emergency c-section - not all of us are that lucky.

They do want you up and moving relatively soon, as if you stay in bed for a week, your muscles will sieze up and you will be in worse pain at the stage than had you moved around a little before that. That being said, you shouldn't be lifting anything heavier than your baby (if possible) and if you need help, there should be someone there to help you. Unfortunately, even before COVID, hospitals in general were severaly understaffed.

I feel so fortunate. I had a c section is September at Ipswich hospital. There were only 2 of us in a room with 6 beds, and the midwives were more than happy to help (although I was discharged in less than 24hours). I was so impressed with the care I received.

It couldn't be more different from my first experience in London, where I was just left for hours and hours in a pool of blood with a screaming baby and no help after a complicated delivery. The standard of care should not have such extreme variation.

I could definitely walk fetch my food etc look after babies, it is not that I expected anyone to do any of that. It ws the lack of kindness, the inability to respond to concerns on my part, the parrotting of recieved wisdom, and then the sudden turnaround when babies were suffering, of YOU need to do x and y, rather than we are sorry we didnt listen to your concerns earlier. A lot of covering up.

@Glenorma

This is just what happens after a c section unfortunately. I was frightened after the trauma of labour and then being cut open in an emergency. I’d never had an operation before. I’d never looked after a baby before. Both of these things were thrust upon me in the middle of the night after a traumatic and lengthy labour. I wasn’t offered any food despite not having eaten for over 24 hours. I wasn’t even offered a hot drink. I was just dumped in a cubicle, bleeding, immobilised and scared, with a naked baby. I couldn’t reach the clothes to dress him and when I rang for help I was told off. That operation was 3 years ago and no doctor has ever checked my wound since the day the surgeon stitched it up. Meanwhile my male neighbour had a similar abdominal operation and had a week in hospital being looked after and three months of physiotherapy to help him recover.

That's so awful, i'm sorry that happened to you.

I had the same experience, but I was told if I did need any help then I could use the buzzer.

But yeah, I was up and changing my baby on my own after maybe 8 hours or so and all through the night etc.

The only bit that really got to me was when the midwife said I needed to shower the same night I'd had the baby, she watched me struggle to get out of the bed, wincing in pain etc and she said "you need to be careful if you exert yourself too much like that, you're going to get ill". But she'd literally just told me to get out of bed and shower!

Unfortunately I think it's pretty normal, but it is shit.

Majority of postnatal care is awful in my experience.
For my youngest they did rapid mobilisation which yes is a good think to get on your feet and be able to move to the chair etc. but you really shouldn't be lifting anything heavier than the baby at the stage.
Congratulations on your baby, if you're in pain ask for some oramorph (safe even it bf). Totally bonkers how many women are only offered 2 paracetamol every 4 hours.

I had really good care after my c section. The maternity support workers were brilliant, lifting, getting drinks and helping with feeding. I physically couldn’t walk until the next day. That’s what you should have received too. There’s a lot of examples on this thread of women normalising poor care because that’s what they received. Also when it comes to c sections the ‘I was up running after 2 hours so you should be able to’ is the equivalent of the ‘I had a natural birth with no interventions, why couldn’t you?’attitude. Its sad to see the competitiveness and the lack of empathy.

That's normal op. They want you up and about in order to discharge you as quickly as possible afterwards( around 12-24 hours in my area) also if you laze about you are more likely to develop complications .

@mummytolittledragons

That's normal op. They want you up and about in order to discharge you as quickly as possible afterwards( around 12-24 hours in my area) also if you laze about you are more likely to develop complications .

'Laze about'... or recover from major abdominal surgery?

NICE guidelines call an early discharge after 24 hours. What hospital turfs you out at 12?

@ooohbriefcase I hope this CS goes well! Maybe I worded it badly. When I was on the ward I was actually paranoid about the nurses. I felt like they had written up something bad about me because I tried to complain after one of them said I was 'starving' my baby (we had feeding problems, I was giving formula too but DD didn't feed well.)

In hindsight I think most midwives who can, get out of those environments. The ones who stay are in a stressful environment the whole time and get desensitized to how women are treated. I don't think they're bad people, but they get put in an impossible situation with serious consequences for mistakes, and over time they get callous.

It was much better second time around when I had fewer complications though!

Shouldn't be lifting anything heavier than the baby... what does that mean? A baby could be 2lbs or 14lbs, where is the cut off? Why is it ok for one woman to lift a large baby but another morning more than a preemie. It's not sensible advice, and this kind of thing is the reason there is so much misinformation around maternity and post natal care- like the no driving for 6 week after a CS isn't relevant anymore but is still said as absolute fact.

Maternity care does vary massively by hospital, I'd encourage any woman to research where she plans to give birth. I'm very fortunate to have 2 excellent hospitals near by and 1 more a little further away to choose from, all advocates of bf with readily available support. Lovely midwives, nurses and HCAs. Even the anesthetisist who held my hand and got a bowl when I puked while I was waiting for dh to gown up for the EMCS and the bf specialist who spent a lot of time helping me pump while baby was on scbu and then establish bf when his feeding tube came out.
Sadly this level of care isn't standard when it absolutely should be. Finding out as much as possible to make informed choices on care is as important as raising concerns (not simply complaining).

On comparison when my df was hospitalised with a serious illness and bedbound his care was shocking. Ignored when he needed to use the toilet, pee spilled and just left on his bed/chair, meals late/missing/inedible and that was at a specialist centre so it's not 'all midwives are evil' like we see on mn so often.

I was lucky after mine and transferred to my local hospital where I was the only woman in with a team of 3 midwives. They took the baby so I could rest, gave me great breastfeeding support and generally did whatever they could to make things easier. I realise that's an unusual situation but if you had just had major abdominal surgery that wasn't a c section would the nurses on the recovery ward expect so much of you? Somehow I doubt it. Women are just told to get on with it after birth when in reality you've just had serious surgery

I'm sorry you were treated so badly OP. Unfortunately NHS maternity care can be really shit. My majority of the midwives involved in my care with DS1 were absolute bitches. The lovely ones were just as overworked as the others but managed so no idea what thier excuse was to be so vile to the women in thier care. I had one tell me off for not being up and about yet, my husband told her to read my notes (numerous complications, inc sepsis and blood transfusions), instead of apologising for snapping she just said 'oh OK'. The ward was disgustingly dirty, bloody pans of urine were left in the toilet all day and the shower was dirty and mouldy. Pretty sure the shit care I recieved contributed significantly to my postnatal MH issues.

I went to a different hospital with DS2 and the experience was so different. I don't think I had a bad midwife, they were all caring and respectful. They sat and helped me to breastfeed and responded to the buzzers right away. Same size town and the ward was just as busy as the first time around.

My advice would be to try and get discharged ASAP, much better to recover at home then in a shit hospital.

Postnatal care is such a lottery. I was in 2 nights after my ELCs. First night I was largely ignored and left to get on with it, they forgot to take out my catheter despite me asking everyone that walked past as I was keen to get up. I then asked for help with changing my first nappy as I'd only just got out of bed and was made to feel like a pest. I was given no help to breastfeed and then was kept in for an extra night because they didn't think I'd mastered it.

The second night was better because one midwife actually seemed to want to help me. I was so relieved when I got home, only to be readmitted at the weekend.

I have a friend who had the same issues I did with breastfeeding, she managed, I didn't. The only difference was being able to afford a private midwife and lactation consultant.

I feel for you - I was similar a few months ago and it’s impossible in lockdown because other halves aren’t around to help with these small tasks that can seem impossible post section. I would raise a complaint but framed in terms that there were not enough midwives / staff to help esp in lockdown - then the hospital might get the midwives more help rather than putting on the poor midwives who are overworked and underpaid

I remember after my c-section one of the midwives coming round, whisking the curtain round my bed open (leaving me in full view of the woman and her partner in the next bed) and told me I needed to get up. I was just wearing a hospital gown with a maternity pad between my legs (no underwear) and was in absolute agony with any movement. I can only describe the pain as like being lanced with a burning sword. I had teeth marks all over my forearm as I found the only way I could cope with any movement was biting down hard into my skin. I think I managed to get myself to standing somehow without dropping the bloody maternity pad on the floor so I could shut the curtain and change the pad with some privacy.

I’m going to buck the trend and say I had excellent care from the midwives when DD was born just over a year ago. I hadn’t even had a CS, although it was a rough birth (forceps, episiotomy, 3b tear, PPH). 36 hours after the birth, I stood up quickly, the pad must have fallen off, I found myself standing in a puddle of blood on the floor, and rang the bell thinking it was another PPH. I’ll never forget the midwife who came, took a look at me, reassured me and gently steered me to the shower and helped me wash. I was actually moved to tears.
You absolutely should not be lifting suitcases after a C section. You deserve better, and should complain. It doesn’t have to be like this, and if no one complains it will never change.

I feel for your pain but midwives are not there to lift suitcases. You can ask once to help you take necessary belongings but to expect them to become your personal assistant... I wouldn't complain. I had an emergency csection myself.

I am really sorry this is happening to you. Your expectations of compassion and kindness and practical support are not unreasonable- they are the least you can expect.

I was so afraid this type of care would happen to me that I tried to remortgage the house to raise the money to have my last c-section privately (as it turned out I couldn't get it through in time, and then fortunately the midwives at my hospital were lovely and helped loads, so it wasn't needed - but I knew from last time it was a real risk and the terrible care I got after the last birth definitely contributed to pre-natal depression with subsequent pregnancies)

Please do keep asking and don't give in - the more women who put up with sub standard care, or go home early (too early!) after major surgery because its the only way they can get food/water/pain relief, the more will have to do the same in the future. Congratulations on your baby. Please look after yourself, you and your baby are worthy of good care, and its not being pushy to ask for it x

I'm due a C-section is just over three weeks and reading this has been a little frightening! Do any of you ladies who have been through this think there is much I can do in advance to make things easier for myself on the postnatal ward? Possibly three small and light bags rather than the big suitcase I currently have packed … ?

I think it's good advice in general to do sandwich bags each containing things like a set of clothes and nappies for example. It's easier than rummaging in a big case.

@RosettaR

I'm due a C-section is just over three weeks and reading this has been a little frightening! Do any of you ladies who have been through this think there is much I can do in advance to make things easier for myself on the postnatal ward? Possibly three small and light bags rather than the big suitcase I currently have packed … ?

Have you researched your hospital and had reviews from women who have given birth there recently? I appreciate visits and tours are probably off right now but recent experiences can be helpful. Local Facebook groups can be a good source of info.

I wasn't prepared for a CS as it was an emergency one, but had no issues moving my case (small weekend sized one). As unpleasant as it is at the time just getting moving really helps recovery, my dm said the same after her hysterectomy a few months ago and was equally encouraged to be up and about quickly.

Yes have everything exactly where you can get to it easy.
It kills to be crunched over looking in your bag.

A long phone charger cable too!