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Original poster

Midwives not helping after C-section

261 replies

Emma5557 · 25/01/2021 05:48

Hello, before making an official complaint I want to be sure I am on the right side.
I got an emergency C-section at around 2am and after that I was moved to the post natal ward. The midwifes who followed me during the labour were excellent and told me to ask for help to the midwifes on the post natal ward anytime considering I could not move for the surgery. On the same day in the afternoon I got my catheter removed and I was able to walk, but still in pain while standing (obviously!). Most midwifes told me I needed to do things by myself like going from the the room to the end of the corridor to grab a bottle of water, or even lift up my luggage to take the clothes for my baby. How on earth am I supposed to lift a luggage after not even 24h from the C-section?!

OP posts:
Crowsaregreat · 25/01/2021 09:38

But basically - complain if you like but don't think the staff are being deliberately mean. They're in an underfunded system, doing the best they can and working on a hospital postnatal ward under those circumstances is not why anyone goes into midwifery.

Soubriquet · 25/01/2021 09:42

Any other abdominal surgery, and nurses bend over back wards to help and keep you in your bed

Suddenly it’s a c-section and you’re supposed to get on with lifting a new born baby which can be fragile

It’s really weird

ShowOfHands · 25/01/2021 09:46

I was very fortunate I think as I was up and about within a couple of hours, catheter out within 3hrs and getting on with it. All the women on my bay were post Cs and were all up within 3hrs and doing well. The evidence does point to getting up asap being the road to recovery. I was home after 12hrs. It's the same with lots of surgeries now. My Dad had his hip replaced and they were expected to be up and about within 6hrs with a same day discharge. For lots of surgeries, getting up and about seems to aid recovery and prevent some risks such as clotting issues.

However, everybody is different so if a woman is struggling, there needs to be a change to the expected norm. Your concerns should be noted, not as a complaint necessarily as the issue is almost certainly due to staffing issues but the more people voice their experiences, the higher the chance of action.

FlopMadeMeDoIt · 25/01/2021 09:49

I find it bonkers that women are supposed to 'just get on with it' after a c-section. I had abdominal surgery last year and was hooked up to a morphine drip for 2 days and given so much help to get out of bed etc. Why on earth are women treated so differently the surgery is a c-section? It's still major abdominal surgery!!

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/01/2021 09:51

@ShowOfHands

There’s a difference between being up and about and heavy lifting of a suitcase onto a bed 🙄

smilingparakeet · 25/01/2021 09:51

I'm completely with you OP.
To be honest I'm quite surprised at the number of people on here basically saying "put up and shut up".
If nothing gets said nothing will change. I've had plenty of experience with awful midwifes who don't give a shit and can't offer a shred of sympathy, I knew better with my second but as a first time mum shell shocked after just giving birth with a brand new tiny human to care for the days I had to spend at the hospital are amongst some of the worst I ever had.
I appreciate they are under staffed but being made to feel like a nuisance or like I should already know thibgs I have never done or seen before made me feel pretty shit for a long time after. Kindness is free.

The first time round the meals were brought to everyones bed. Then 2.5 years later when I had DC 2 I had all my curtains drawn for a bit of privacy, I missed breakfast on the ward and due to a bit of a rush didn't get to eat the tea and toast you get straight after birth either. It was lunchtime and I was completely ravenous around 4hours post labour and wasnt told that this time around you had to go and get your food from a seperate room and effectively missed lunch. When I asked one of the passing midwifes when it was arriving she said it's been and gone and I missed it and I should've known. There was no alternative offered until it was dinner time I could've honestly cried with hunger.
But obviously it was my fault because every new mum arriving at the ward automatically knows all the ins and outs by magically reading everyone's minds. And this is just a teeny tiny example.

But ofc you are being unreasonable OP don't you know some people have a c section at 3pm and attend their Zumba class at 5pm 🙄

onetwothreeadventure · 25/01/2021 09:52

I had the same experience and also find it so strange.

Any other major abdominal surgery and you’re told to take it easy, five minutes after a c section and it’s business as usual.

wewillmeetagain · 25/01/2021 09:56

They are midwives not servents! It's good to mobilise and be up and about, it aids recovery. I'm an ex midwife and I had four c- sections!

chocolatesweets · 25/01/2021 09:59

I'd love to have you as a midwife 🙈

Hellothere19999 · 25/01/2021 10:00

Just keep ringing the buzzer, they are probably busy so honestly I wouldn’t put in a complaint just because i really feel for the NHS at the mo and also I assume they managed to get you into an emergency section pretty quick and save you/ your babies life. I just did everything I needed to do when my partner was in. He literally had to put my socks on for me. C sections are so hard to recover from, I hope you can get home and get all the help you need xx

ooohbriefcase · 25/01/2021 10:01

@Crowsaregreat

But basically - complain if you like but don't think the staff are being deliberately mean. They're in an underfunded system, doing the best they can and working on a hospital postnatal ward under those circumstances is not why anyone goes into midwifery.
Some staff are deliberately mean. This was nearly 4 years ago now and it still affects me. I had an EMCS, dc was in NICU for 10 days. The midwife in charge of the ward decided to keep me in an extra night. Probably to be kind. My room was right by the desk and the door was slightly open. To witches stood by the desk talking about me like I wasn't there, saying how I needed to get over myself and go home. How I'd outstayed my welcome and was taking up a bed. They weren't midwifes I think they were auxiliary nurses. That wasn't the only issue I had with them but those words have stuck with me nearly 4 years on. I should of complained but I was so exhausted and emotional broken I just did not have the energy. I'm pregnant with second and will be having a ELCS at the same hospital. I'll be on my own this time, and I certainly will not be putting up with any crap like that. If I get anyone as cruel as that this time they'll be sorry they were born. Some people just should not be in the medical industry. However I did have some lovely kind midwifes and doctors, one I still even remember her name, because she was lovely. But when I look back on the experience they're not the first people that come to mind. The two witches are.
Milkshake7489 · 25/01/2021 10:01

Definitely complain. Just because it's normal doesn't mean it's OK and if everyone just accepts it, nothing will ever change.

Congratulations on your new baby Flowers

Jenala · 25/01/2021 10:02

I had a similar experience after my planned CS. Treated like I was making a huge fuss and any request for pain relief felt like I was asking for the earth. My first baby was a 3b tear and I was treated so much better, even though I was in 10x less pain after that than after my section.

The thing is everyone has different recoveries. Many people including HCPs seem to think that because one person can be happily on their feet after 3 hours, anyone who isn't is making a huge fuss. We seem able to recognise other surgeries have differing recoveries, but not c-sections. My section I couldn't lay down for over a week after, had to sleep sat up on pillows. I needed an extra night in hospital I was in so much pain and was treated like I was really annoying. I wanted to scream that I have given birth before to a back to back baby that tore me a new one, I understand pain and this is awful.

Now 4 years on my scar is not like my friends scars, there's two lines running parallel but very messy and wobbly, and part of the skin at the most painful side has healed kind of pinched together. I still get stitch threads out of this side.

But sure, someone else was fine after two hours so people like me are making a fuss. Complain op.

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/01/2021 10:02

Just because it’s busy doesn’t mean we should just accept insubstantial care.

nevernotstruggling · 25/01/2021 10:03

This was my experience after dd1 crash section. I was put in the regular maternity ward. When I asked for more pain relief I was treated like a drug addict. It was awful.

I kicked up a right stink when I had dd2 from the moment I was admitted to deliver. Another crash section but I wasn't having any of their neglect (lots of other issues with dd1 including not even being told she was alive but I digress). Post delivery I was sent to transitional care ward - completely different story and mw and staff very caring and attentive. Completely different experience I am grateful for.

alfieum · 25/01/2021 10:11

You have every basis for complaint, you are not supposed to lift anything and you should be making short journeys. Not every c section is the same. First one I moved too much and got the kind of care you are describing, was left with infections and complications. Second one in a good hospital with caring staff recovered so much better. emergency one is usually harder to recover from as it is done after your womb has been under a lot of pressure from a labour.

No one would be telling a woman who had just had her spleen removed to suck it up. Mumsnet at it's finest. Congratulations, look after yourself, get home soon and ignore the people on here trying to make you feel bad for wanting basic medical care. Flowers

RandyGiles06 · 25/01/2021 10:13

Unfortunately that was my experience after my CS, the staff are just so busy we get forgotten. Echoing other PP’s just do whatever you can to get yourself home ASAP, then DH will be able to help you with lifting, carrying etc. It’s not right but it just seems to be how it is with the NHS. I have never in my life been as miserable as I was that night in hospital by myself with a baby that wouldn’t sleep, after I had not slept for 3 nights (difficult labour!).

Jobsharenightmare · 25/01/2021 10:17

I had so much better care after major abdo surgery. I'd complain too OP. It's the best way to get more staffing. We now have short staffing on the risk register and it is a priority for post Covid.

Cam2020 · 25/01/2021 10:20

Just because it’s busy doesn’t mean we should just accept insubstantial care.

You're quite right. I think the problem is, people have different expectations of what that care should be. I was surprised but quite happy to be left to it - others have also said the same, whilst other women have felt neglected.

I do think the attitude of the staff makes a huge difference. No one should be made to feel like a nuisance or feel neglected.

LetItGoGo · 25/01/2021 10:21

It's terrible.

Just get home asap.

cookiemonster5 · 25/01/2021 10:24

That's normal. They encourage you to get up and about as quickly as possible so you can be discharged. I've had 3 sections and on the last one I didn't even wait for the midwives to help me out of bed after I got my catheter out.

Baby was born just after 8am and I was home by 6pm the next day.

Plutostar269 · 25/01/2021 10:25

It was the same after my twins, but also I was really unwell and remained on a catheter and drip for a some days after the birth. Luckily my husband was able to stay on the ward with me but I shudder at the thought of it happening now and him not being allowed to stay with me. No one helped at all with anything, it was probably the most stressful experience of both our lives caring for two tiny babies and my health steadily declining. Imagine having any other major surgery, loosing pints of blood (and I had various other serious issues too) and then also being told to look after a newborn! Or two in my case. I think there really does need to be more support on the post natal ward. Definitely complain, I would but I honestly just hate thinking about that time.

Glenorma · 25/01/2021 10:29

This is just what happens after a c section unfortunately. I was frightened after the trauma of labour and then being cut open in an emergency. I’d never had an operation before. I’d never looked after a baby before. Both of these things were thrust upon me in the middle of the night after a traumatic and lengthy labour. I wasn’t offered any food despite not having eaten for over 24 hours. I wasn’t even offered a hot drink. I was just dumped in a cubicle, bleeding, immobilised and scared, with a naked baby. I couldn’t reach the clothes to dress him and when I rang for help I was told off. That operation was 3 years ago and no doctor has ever checked my wound since the day the surgeon stitched it up. Meanwhile my male neighbour had a similar abdominal operation and had a week in hospital being looked after and three months of physiotherapy to help him recover.

LetItGoGo · 25/01/2021 10:29

Glenorma crazy isn't it.

ShowOfHands · 25/01/2021 10:30

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@ShowOfHands

There’s a difference between being up and about and heavy lifting of a suitcase onto a bed 🙄[/quote]
Of course there is! I made no comment about lifting of suitcases. When I was in, the assistants who moved you back onto the ward, unpacked things you needed and put them on your bedside table in readiness or put your bag up on a chair so you didn't have to bend. Or a partner did that for you. In Covid times, it's probably very difficult on top of the normal challenges.