Returning to work after 4 months

[savethewales]

Hi all,

I’m just after some advice/stories. I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant and finishing my third year of a primary education degree. I’m a little older than the average student at 29.
I’ve been offered a place on a schools direct scheme to start next September, I’ll work unpaid until July but will then have QTS and a position at the school. My husband gets really good paternity and we hoped to do shared parental leave anyway; but am I am mad to think about going to this placement 4 months after the baby is born?
I’ll get all of the school holidays which is a bonus and once I have my QTS will be earning a relatively good salary. I’m just wanting to bite the bullet and get this done so I can start my career.

I’m starting to doubt myself and get chewed about it.

I think it is hard to leave your baby and I suspect harder for a woman than a man for fairly obvious reasons. I know several women who did do it and all survived (and their parents took shared parental leave), I think most people have actually suggested that taking on such a huge stressful and time consuming qualification when the baby is still small, is going to be hard.

My point is also that career related stuff will inevitably eat into time where she is likely to be needed to help parent. I don't think that's contentious but it was met with derision.

I couldn't have left my DD but she was an absolute nightmare non sleeping newborn and I was still pretty much surviving on 4-5 hours of broken sleep whilst living off sugar and coffee when she was 4 months. I was personally surprised at how much I didn't want to leave her and also surprised at how broken I felt at that point.

*sorry that should've said the other parent took shared parental leave.

God do it! Loads of women had to do this before the 1 year mat leave, plus in America for example they have 12 weeks.

You will be a better you if you love your job it’s where you spend an enormous part of your life after all (I think, totally not qualified to say that tho ahah).

My DC is 6m old and I fantasise about working again it’s so hard sometimes, if I could leave him with DP I would.

Think for the sake of 6-8 weeks of maybe having it more tough than it would have been if you’d stayed off you will be saving a whole year.

Also I’m currently in my final year of a MEng with a 6m old, yes there is no time but you make time somehow.

I did as I had a new job - I went back when DD was 18 weeks old and my DH who is a teacher took half a term shared parental leave and the summer holidays. He loved it as it was a real bonding experience with DD. I was meant to be going back to my old job 5 weeks later anyway so it didn't feel as if I was missing much.

I missed them but loved being back at work as it meant adult conversation even if I was quite tired. However, DD had stopped breastfeeding by then so it was probably a bit easier.

I’m not sure at which point I’ve said it’s going to be straight forward? I understand it’s hard work and I’ve been putting a large level of work in to my education, my career and home life over the last three years. I’m not jumping into it with no clue as to what to expect.
My husband, if he was working, would not be available every evening and every weekend as he has busy times in his role too - which is something we have to consider.
I think a lot of these comments from women saying they couldn’t leave their baby, are aimed at the fact I’m a woman too. Is it that you can’t leave your baby, or won’t leave your baby? He’s with his father, an equally important figure in his life and his upbringing.

Just a little update on this thread. I did it, my son is now 10 months old and in six weeks time I’ll have QTS hopefully. I’m still breastfeeding and express using Elvie pumps every dinner time. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve managed with a good support network x

Glad it worked out for you :) People seem to easily forget that most women around the world don't get a choice, we're incredibly lucky in the UK to be able to take 12 months maternity leave (if we can afford it, as our mat pay is pretty pitiful) but in loads of other countries they don't get that luxury and manage just fine.