First baby. What do we actually need?

[ThoroughlyForumed]

I'm 13 weeks with our first. Extremely excited. Starting to make plans to get baby things we may need in January sales (if they still happen!) as still think it's too early now.
Neither me nor DH are big on having stuff for the sake of stuff and I'm sure our lovely families will enjoy getting us plenty of non-essential lovely things for him/her.
My question to parents - what do we actually need for the first? Total essentials that we couldn't do without?

I'll kick off to bump the thread:
Moses basket
Muslins
Baby grows
Nappies
Car seat/travel solution
Pram

Clothes that are comfy and easy to get off/on, nappies, a nappy rash barrier, cotton wool (much gentle especially in the early days), somewhere to sleep, mode of transport to get home.

Baby monitor

Muslins, boob pads to sort both your leakages out!!

If you use public transport I would try and wait to buy a pram until after born so you can physically try them out in-store. Although can stroll on, it's not always feasible and it needs to be folded.

I'd also suggest throwing some thick sanitary pads for afterwards.

Non fragranced hygiene products for both of you.

Some formula and bottle just in case bf'ing doesn't work out for you. I didn't always need it (had 4) and I gave the unused to the HV for someone else. Wasn't that many food banks around.

Oh and a dummy. I'm not endorsing the use, nor am I against them. For the sake of a couple of pounds, or endless hours of screaming and wanting to suckle, they can save your sanity.

@canigooutyet (love the name btw!) Thank you so much for your response - everything is going straight on the list now! We live rurally so dont use public transport a lot but I like the idea of waiting to be able to try out prams in real time

Following 😊 I'm 17 weeks with my first baby.

We never used a moses basket. I think it also depends on your baby - DD had undiagnosed CMPA and silent reflux so was really hard to put down and we ended up co-sleeping.
Stuff we did use:
Pram / travel system (and used the bassinet for daytime naps as it was suitable for overnight sleeping) - this was by far the most expensive thing we bought and I'm glad we spent money on it because we used it for years and it was a dream to push
Sling (moby for us, try a sling library to see what you get on with once baby is born)
Breast pump
Nipple shields
Electric steriliser (for breast pump and expressed bottles)
Bottles (we used Philips Avent)
Lots and lots of sanitary pads- breathable ones
Lots of lansinoh cream
Many breast pads (also used the lansinoh ones)
Muslin squares, though didn't need them as much as I thought
Bought dummies but DD point blank refused
Car seat
Baby monitor (we had an angel care one with the mat for peace of mind)
Cot - went straight full cot sized. And a baby change thingy to go on top
Clothes for mum- breastfeeding tops (h&m were good) and bras
Clothes for baby - mostly baby grows and vests. I found the h&m vests with side poppers really handy especially in the early days so you didn't have to pull them over babies head.
Pram suit
Hats & scratch mittens though eg next baby grows have these built in
Breastfeed pillow - boppy - I used this A LOT
Very cheap baby bouncer - DD barely spent any time in it so glad I didn't spend loads

Ooh and we had a foldable baby bath (Stokke i think) that was really handy.
Baby wipes and lots of nappies, cotton wool pads (non lint ones)
They don't need any toiletries etc. especially when really little

Do you want to breastfeed op? Some of what you need is pretty universal, baby grows etc but a lot depends on your own circumstances. Can you fit a cot in your room?

My advice would be to really think about what your lifestyle is like, we don't drive and love walking so needed a heavy duty buggy that would put in serious miles and be pretty good on public transport, you might need something that will fold into the boot of your car, be easily put up and taken down etc.

following

Thank you for additional advice! I do plan to breastfeed but wont push it it struggling too much I've heard some horror stories of new mums really tiring themselves out and beating themselves up if it doesnt 'work'

I would say the essentials are:
For baby
Vests
Babygros (sleepsuits) - ones with inbuilt scratch mitts are good as seperate scratch mitts are a waste of time as they never stay on.
A couple of hats
A couple of cardigans
Some blankets/swaddle blankets
Lots of muslins
Some bibs

For you
Lansinoh nipple cream
Comfy pjs
Lots of maternity pads
Vests and tops to layer to make bfing easy when out.
A V pillow - good to get in pregnancy to support bump in bed. Then great for bfing and later to prop baby up and then to use when baby is sitting up for when they fall back!

I would say these are the basics and then other things can either wait or you can get if you think you will use.

Things I found useful:
Bouncy chair - great for popping baby in when not holding them. Some babes will sleep in them if bounced. I got an expensive one that played music/vibrated and had a bar with teddies hanging on - complete waste - newborns are not interested in this! Just get a basic one.

Swing - I had one with my 2nd and she had all her naps (when not in my arms!) in it when she was tiny.

Dummies - my 2 took dummies from newborn. I used them to help get them off to sleep if they hadn't fallen asleep after a feed. I used them if they were crying and I didn't know why. I used them if they cried for a feed while I was out to comfort them til I found somewhere to sit down. By 4 months or so I had stopped using them as they would settle for naps much easier. I knew what they wanted when they cried and they went longer between feeds/had more of a feed routine so not so much in the situation of them crying for a feed unexpectedly.

White noise box - excellent for helping them nap.

Sling - a stretchy for newborn and a more structured carrier when older. Used up to 3.

I had a pram that changed into a pushchair and had lots of storage for shopping underneath. Suited me as I would walk to the shops. I think it is really important to work out what you need from a pram before buying

Mine co-slept in bed with me. My 1st went in a Moses basket/cot occasionally but both prefered being with their mama.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember the excitement with my first - precious times!

I think you'd be better asking what don't you need OP.

I've had 3 children and didn't have lots of what people have recommended.

Muslins- no
Breast Pump- no
Breastfeeding pillow- no
Moses basket- no
Electric steriliser- no
Breastfeeding tops-no
Baby monitor- no

Oh and of course nappies! A changing mat, something to put water in and cotton wool.

FTM & due in 6 weeks. We’ve got the below - all second hand except car seat, mattress and pram.

Next to me
2 x swaddles and 2 x blankets
Muslin squares
Star wrap
Clothes - vests & sleepsuits mainly in newborn, first month and 0-3. Expecting lots of gifts!
Couple of cardigans
Pram - bassinet for downstairs sleeping
Car seat
Baby carrier and a wrap - bargains from FB
100s of nappies
Changing mat & travel changing kit - eBay bargains
Baby wipes (make sure they are properly flushable) and cotton wool
Sudocrem & lanisoh
Baby bath - loads on FB second hand
Baby gym - loads second hand
Bouncer seat - bargain second hand
Starter pack of pre-made formula - just for hosp bag
Boots maternity mats and pads

Things we’ve been bought that I probably wouldn’t have bought myself:

Steriliser
Bottle set - wanting to try breastfeeding first
Nappy bin

Probably look to get a monitor when he’s a few months old.

We’ve not gone too crazy but my family have gone absolutely insane when it comes to buying stuff!

I think cotton cellular blankets are really worth having. They wash and wash and you can use them for any future babies. Hospitals always use them.

My dd is 4m old and she's my first.

The best things I bought/use daily

Next to me cot (snuz pod) has bed. Invaluable
Travel system
Car seat with isofix (and connectors so the car seat can go on the pram base
2 changing mats/stations of supplies (one upstairs one downstairs)
Cotton balls
More Muslins than you could dream of using
Bibs
A teething monkey (this has saved my sanity recently)
Shortsleeved vests
Long sleeved vests
Baby grows
Grow egg (thermometer for your room)
Gro snugs and gro bags of varying toggs for her to sleep in
A sensory box of random toys from Amazon (hours of entertainment)
A bouncer
Winter hat/summer hat
Proper wool cardigans (we live in a cold house, the stuff from the supermarket just doesn't keep her warm, but the old fashion hand knitted ones do
Play mat with noise/lights

For breast feeding
Tooooonnes of snacks
Water bottle
Extra long iPhone cable (worth weight in gold)
Lanisoh cream
More snacks

@MaidenMotherCrone - how did you manage without muslins! I used them for everything!

My DD is 5 months and wouldn’t sleep in anything but a Moses basket the first few months - no chance in her bedside crib and we struggled getting her to sleep in her carry cot until we got one.

I needed lots of sanitary pads! Didn’t use breast pads much tbh, if you’re going out a lot in the early days then you’d probably need them.

Formula - I am EBF but have tried baby with bottles which she sometimes has now, but when I was really struggling to breastfeed the first few weeks it was very useful. As is the Perfect Prep machine to make them with!

I also got a cheap changing table from IKEA which has been helpful - I had a section and couldn’t bend over for a while so being able to change DD at a decent height was good. It doubles as a storage area for clothes, towels etc.

For baby
Muslins and bibs
At least 10 baby grows and 10 vests
Crib for upstairs
Sheets for crib
Downstairs bed
Mam bottles that you can sterilise in the microwave to minimise the need of a steriliser
Baby playgym
Nappies
Cream
Blankets lots of them

I second white noise, we bought Ewan the Sheep and my DD 18months still loves it! You can buy it on Amazon or market place to be fair, I've seen a few on there.

I'd really recommend sleeping bags too, you can buy them in different togs. I'm pregnant atm so glad I can re use everything!

You need very little to be honest.

Womanly art of breastfeeding book.

Mams self sterilising bottles.

Clothes.

Muslins.

Braun thermoscan.

Bouncy chair. Get second hand or borrow if you can.

Single bed so other parent can get decent sleep!

Very useful! thanks all. FTM here too and it's feeling a little overwhelming about what's needed!!

I pretty much agree with all the above. As previous poster wrote really think about your lifestyle. We have a 10 week old and this is my experience and things I couldn’t live without:
-we have quite a lot of muslins, she is quite a sicky baby so we go through them so much
-We have a ‘next to me’ which I preferred so research those. I got a nappy caddy to go on this so I can have drinks and stuff in it as I couldn’t fit my bedside table with this
-I wouldn’t get too much cotton wool, I used it about twice and now have bags of it and cotton pads just sitting upstairs, we just used wet wipes it was so much easier especially in hospital! If you do want to use them, the cotton pads are easier than the wool!
-a good travel mug, we have a good anti spill one which is safer to have hot drinks on the buggy and I use it so much now so I can drink water laying at an awkward angle if she’s laying on me
-make sure you get a carrier with good back support, they soon get so heavy! We ended up having to get different ones than we originally brought for this reason. I also got a waterproof cover to go with this incase you get caught in the rain - I got a bundle bean

I was always a just incase type of mum but we have used quite a lot of it, we didn’t waste money as we got all of it second hand! Not sure if half of these are ‘essential’ but oh well! Sorry it’s a long post!

Congrats OP, it’s such an exciting time.

I wouldn’t worry about a Moses basket, my DS was never in his. We brought a swinging crib for DS2 that didn’t get any use either! But the super king size bed we brought in desperation got a lot of use, me, DH & baby were in it every night!

We brought three different types of prams by the time DS1 was 6 months. So think about how you plan to travel in the future,, how many cars you have, had a stroller in each. We would arrive somewhere & realise we had left the pram in my car.

Bouncy chair was a good buy, many a dinner eaten while bouncing that with mine or DH foot.

Good luck, it’s a wonderful adventure, I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I could. Enjoy!

I broke it down into:

Sleep- Somewhere to sleep - recommend a next to me type cot, cot sheets, Cellular blankets. My girls love white noise but i tested it out using you tube video with them before buying a specific white noise toy/machine.

Eat - bibs, bottles & steriliser - recommend cold water steriliser.
I wouldn't recommend getting a breast pump until baby is here (you can easily get on amazon prime if you feel its necessary) but if for any reason you dont take to breastfeeding then it would be a waste. Same goes for loads of breast pads. I never produced milk so ended up giving away pump, pads and lanisoh cream (expensive!).

Transport - car seat & pram - go and test out prams when you can as some are really heavy, some are all terrain etc. Depends what you want to use it for.

Cleaning - change bag, change mat, muslins (lots!), nappies, cotton wool & sudocrem/bepanthen (metanium is amazing but too strong for newborn bum). Baby bath/bath seat, sponges.

Clothes - some vests, sleepsuits and cardigans if winter baby & hat. I had so much given to me though that i didnt buy any clothes until they were in 3-6 months.

Medical - thermometer, saline nasal spray, calpol (need for jabs), nasal aspirator

Play - playmat, soft books, rattle etc.

I wouldnt bother with a baby monitor until they are at least 4-6months old.

For you - comfy clothes & lots of maternity pads