First baby. What do we actually need?

[ThoroughlyForumed]

I'm 13 weeks with our first. Extremely excited. Starting to make plans to get baby things we may need in January sales (if they still happen!) as still think it's too early now.
Neither me nor DH are big on having stuff for the sake of stuff and I'm sure our lovely families will enjoy getting us plenty of non-essential lovely things for him/her.
My question to parents - what do we actually need for the first? Total essentials that we couldn't do without?

Following!

Thank you everyone so much, I'm frantically scribbling notes down from your lovely messages. Lots to think about and so much nicer to hear from real people instead of blogs and articles that are more often than not sponsored by one of the products it mentions! Keep em coming!

We bought very little for DT’s. Didn’t have a changing table, monitor, GroEgg, baby bath, bouncer, white noise, nappy caddy.

Some people like them but we’re not into all the gadgets. Best thing we had was a playpen and if I was having a baby now I would definitely get a Perfect Prep. Didn’t buy many clothes - just used babygros until they were about nine months.

Your original list is basically it @ThoroughlyForumed

You need:
Somewhere to sleep eg cot and blankets, you don't need a Moses basket they can go straight into a cot if you have room
Nappies
Something to wear - I suggest bodysuits and sleep suits initially
Muslin cloths
Travel gear eg car seat and pushchair that lays flat.
A mat for changing is helpful you can stand it on a chest of drawers, plus a folding one for travel (you can use any bag)
A soft towel or two (hood isn't needed nor is a baby bath, I used the sink!)

I was on a very low income so had to watch the pennies, I breast fed so the only other outlay was washable breast pads and 2 nursing bras

Next2me or similar for by the bed, somewhere for baby to sleep downstairs (Moses basket or pram carry cot)
Decent pram/buggy with good size basket and easy to fold
If FF - perfect prep and electric steriliser, plenty of bottles
Dummies
Muslins - bibs were useless I found
Babygros, vests, cardi, hat - easy if you keep them all in a similar colour so you can just bung everything in the washer
Sleeping bag for bed
Blankets for everything else
Either a drier, heated airer or dehumidifier for all the washing
Wipes (we never used cotton wool) and nappies
Shnuggle bath - one of my favourite bits of kit
Netflix, Amazon prime, Now TV
Freezer of batch cooked food
Massive pants for you
Massive thick maternity pads
Nice PJ's for you

Babygrows and hats
Sleep bags (we had three one spare one in the wash)
Bottles and formula incase
Sterliser
Loads of nappies and wipes

IKEA highchair is fanfastic
Aldi nappies are excellent and cheap and watch out for their baby deals

You definitely need a moses. A cot or crib is too big for them to sleep when they're first born. It's very easy to transport as they sleep so much at first. Every parent I've known personally would be lost without their moses.

Interesting you say that about a Moses basket @Wwydiywm - It’s the only thing people have warned me off buying!

They grow out of them so quickly and for downstairs, my friends tend to use a bassinet suitable for overnight sleeping or a baby nest under supervision.

The good thing is that you can pick them up quite cheaply second hand (buy new mattress) or Aldi have them for quite cheap.

@MaverickDanger
I think we used ours for 10 or 12 weeks. Was so easy to stick in the boot whenever we went round someone's house, easy to take from room to room if baby is sleeping and you've got stuff to do, easy to rock when putting baby to sleep... I also think they prob settle better if they have the same bed all the time, for naps and overnight.
But of course, every baby is different!
My moses was a present from my mum. I think it was a really nice present as it wasnt too expensive like a pram, wasnt too boring like muslins or something, lasted us a while and we found invaluable!

@MaidenMotherCrone

I think you'd be better asking what don't you need OP.

I've had 3 children and didn't have lots of what people have recommended.

Muslins- no
Breast Pump- no
Breastfeeding pillow- no
Moses basket- no
Electric steriliser- no
Breastfeeding tops-no
Baby monitor- no

@MaidenMotherCrone we had written off a lot of the things you’ve mentioned so I think we might be on the same page.

This might be a silly question but how did you wash bottles without a steriliser?

@ThoroughlyForumed good post OP!

Loads of good lists here. Our dd is 7 weeks and we’ve needed more muslins than we thought, I can’t wash and dry them quick enough.

We had a Moses basket for upstairs and downstairs, and they’re amazing, but I’m really glad we bought cheap ones as she’s out grown them already.

Baby sleeping bags/grow bags are amazing, she sleeps so much better in them than with a blanket. Just make sure you get ones suitable for new borns so they can’t slip over their face.

Also, baby socks! Completely unexpected but we were bought loads of really cute outfits and they never have feet on them except the baby grows

Following with interest OP. Got a while to go but we can't get our heads around a pushchair. Everyone says "think about your lifestyle" but we can't envisage how any pushchair would fit it. We are avid hikers and that's what we do almost every weekend. We are both used to backpacking with around 15kg so wondering whether to got down the babywearing route. Anyone here exclusively babywear? Alternatively we may just wait until after LO arrives and see how we get on.

Our flat it tiny so getting as little as possible

No Moses basket

Gonna use the sink as the bath we have a huge kitchen sink!

Got the pram - and bought the newborn attachment 2nd hand

Car seat new

Reusable cheeky wipes

Few packs of Nappies - we will be changing to reusable cloth nappies after a few months

Friends gave me loads of Newborn clothes - just gonna grab a few more babygrows

Have a pack of bottles and a steraliser and formula in case breast feeding doesn’t work out (friend gave me the steraliser)

Thinking il probably get a baby sling or carrier

Few Muslins

That’s about it I think?

DS is 3 weeks today.

Important things:
Thousands of muslins
Travel changing mat and changing bag
Lots of wipes and nappies in advance
A selection of basic baby grows - ours only fits 0-1 yet but some go straight into 0-3 do get a selection
Cellular blankets
Car seat and pram that fit together - travel system
Baby bath

Ours hasn't slept in his cot yet so this is pretty much all we've used (I'm exclusively breastfeeding so no bottles needed).

@PurBal my DH pretty much only ever used a wrap and later a sling with our daughter for the first year of her life. By 1, she was walking and he just walked with her or carried her when she was tired.

We also had a second-hand travel system that we bought cheaply (with a new car seat). I used that and the wrap when she was little. But I found the pram too heavy (do a lot of walking) and switched to a lighter pushchair with a lie-flat option by the time she was about 4 months or so. If we have a second, I’ll probably buy a much lighter bassinet pram, like the yo-yo.

So I’d suggest buying or borrowing a wrap, which are fairly cheap. If sling libraries are open, it’s worth going to them once the baby is here and seeing what works.

And maybe consider a cheaper second-hand pram and then see if that works or something different would be better when the baby arrives.

@HotDiggidy2017 I used cold water sterilising tablet in an ice cream container or mams self sterilising bottles ( microwave) when needed.

Noone told me that clothes with collars, shirts etc are useless, shirts pull up/out everytime you pick baby up..
Tousers/skirts are equally painfull.
Get babygrows that popper up the front, stuff that does up down the back are a drudge.
Vests need a "boat neck" so easy to get over the head.
i started off with a strict minimum, it was better to add on mainly because I had no idea
I had a baby book for beginners, in my day It was miriam stoppard, but doubtlessly things have moved on, which helped with 1st fever,

Did anyone mention an easy to undo/do up maternity bra?

A chair with a footrest in the nursery for feeding in the middle of the night. I didn't get a footrest and I genuinely regret it every time I see the bloody chair.

Following!
Also FTM and 19 weeks but obviously very excited 😄

What size baby clothes to initially buy?
Also is there a point in buying short sleeves vests for baby with edd 3rd april with climate like england?

I'd not even heard of Muslins.....

I had a cold water steriliser. Just Milton tablets and something deep enough to submerge what ever you need to sterilise. I breastfed so didn't need to sterilise bottles.

OP, it's a long time since mine were babies, and I've deliberately not RTFT as I don't want to be influenced.

The things we used to death 20 years ago were:

Muslins (big ones - to swaddle them)
Bibs, as one had severe reflux and refluxy babies get through a lot of bibs
Plain white babygros (though it's now difficult to tell which child is which in any photo of them in a white babygro)
Nappies. We bought loads of washables for DC1 because I am very eco friendly, and ended up using disposables.
Dummies, just in case. I was soooo opposed to them. But we used them with at least one child.
Bottles. Ditto.
Steriliser.
Changing mat (cheap)
Pram which also flaps backwards into a lying position for a young baby. We had a Silver Cross one which did this.
Car seat.
Carry cot.
Baby monitor.
Books. We have thousands anyway, but no baby is too young to be read to. We had a little collection of books which we read from birth. Obviously babies don't understand what's what, but they certainly take in the warmth and cuddliness and rhythm of parents' voices while they are reading.
Music. I had a lovely mobile when they were little (which was when 'mobile' meant 'thing that hangs from the ceiling', rather than 'telephone'). DC1 was mesmerised by it.

I really, honestly, can't say that anything else was really necessary. We didn't have a nursery or anything - we just muddled along. We had them in the same room as us in the Silver Cross carry cot when they were newborn, but not in our bed (not least as I used to wake up in a panic, thinking they had suffocated in bed with me, and I had to be sure that this couldn't happen). One of them slept in the bath next door as she snored so loudly that we couldn't have her in the same room as us. Believe me, we could still hear her. We used to bath them in the kitchen sink when they were very little. Once they were bigger, we put them in the bath, but then had bath seats (which are brilliant!) for the littler ones as I didn't have enough hands to stop everyone from slipping around.

I had half a dozen 3 month baby-grows, (my washing machine was on every day anyway.)plus other gifts I had been given but never used.
I asked everyone else to only give me bigger sizes

My two are no nearly ending primary school do it's been a while but for me the essentials were:
Washable nappies and wipes
Folded up towels for a changing table on a chest of drawers (upstairs) and dining table (downstairs - emcs with ds1 and ds2 an assisted delivery so stairs were a problem!)
Car seat that attached to a narrow maclaren buggy (live in London so narrow easiest on public transport)
Pop up travel cot thing that was used downstairs, various friends houses etc
A lot of muslins (reflux!)
A lot of babygrows
Decent tops that make breast feeding easy
and top of all time at a breast feeding drop in to get that sussed - you never go anywhere without your boobs, the milks always the right temp and you don't have tp faff with sterilizing anything.