First baby. What do we actually need?

[ThoroughlyForumed]

I'm 13 weeks with our first. Extremely excited. Starting to make plans to get baby things we may need in January sales (if they still happen!) as still think it's too early now.
Neither me nor DH are big on having stuff for the sake of stuff and I'm sure our lovely families will enjoy getting us plenty of non-essential lovely things for him/her.
My question to parents - what do we actually need for the first? Total essentials that we couldn't do without?

@twoofusburningmatches thank you, that's really helpful.

OP - I think your biggest problem will be the vast choice there is in baby gear. So many travel systems, car seats, Perfect Prep, sterilisers, toys, clothes etc

@PurBal

Following with interest OP. Got a while to go but we can't get our heads around a pushchair. Everyone says "think about your lifestyle" but we can't envisage how any pushchair would fit it. We are avid hikers and that's what we do almost every weekend. We are both used to backpacking with around 15kg so wondering whether to got down the babywearing route. Anyone here exclusively babywear? Alternatively we may just wait until after LO arrives and see how we get on.

So with you! We were thinking of getting a sling and then shopping for a pushchair after they’re born. Can’t think of a single hike where we would want a pushchair, even on a canal route. Also thinking if it’s another lockdown (please no!) then would we even need one..?

Somewhere for baby to sleep
Pram (very little difference between the mega expensive & the cheap ones).
Car seat - when they are older a swivel seat will make it so much easier.
Clothes - vests & sleepsuits. They will be outgrown in the blink of an eye.
Bottles if formula feeding - Tommy Tippee Anti-colic were brilliant.
Loads of maternity pads.
A small bucket - soaking stained baby clothes is a regular, if not daily, occurrence.

Never had but wish I had brought some really soft bralettes to sleep in. On many occasions baby slept well but I'd wake up drenched in milk! Something super comfy to put breast pads in.

[quote CornishTiger]@HotDiggidy2017 I used cold water sterilising tablet in an ice cream container or mams self sterilising bottles ( microwave) when needed.[/quote]
Thanks @CornishTiger

I love these threads!
You actually need so much less than you think, but the essential things are probably those that you discover as and when you need them!

Moses basket - useful but not essential, babies can sleep pretty much anywhere.
Baby monitor - how anxious are you, how large is your house? If you can easily hear the baby from where you sleep, it's not essential. Quite fun though.
Eaar/forehead thermometer ditto good for anxious parents.
Nipple cream and shields - essential for me, anyway.
Bottle steriliser things - handy but can be done in other ways.
Carseat if you use a car, sling/pram if not.
We did have a baby bath, didn't use it much as right pain to fill and empty. (Have only just this minute thought why didn't I use it INSIDE the actual bath??) Also washed the baby in the sink sometimes, and later one of those bucket tubs which I liked.
Very often didn't have the changing mat handy and just used floor/sofa/back of car...I am a bit disorganised.
Loved my baby blender for making food. Not essential though.
The whole baby thing is big money, easy to get guilt/envy trapped into wanting all sorts that are NOT essential, or can be done much more simply and ethically.

Which brings me to ...personally I loved washable nappies.

At basics, essential is really only babygros and nappies!

Good luck! Our second is 8 months and we found different things useful for each child. I'd borrow anything you can as you don't really know what the baby will be like until they arrive. For example, Second time our Moses basket and next to me sleeper were totally unused as baby would only sleep on us.in a sleepyhead or being rocked in the pram...You can get most things next day if you really need them (amazon prime was my best friend!)...
You have most things covered here. I do think it's helpful so have some basic bottle feeding stuff in case you need it (even if you do want to breastfeed) - aptimal have a useful starter pack and mam bottles that self sterilise in a microwave are great - plus a couple of bottles of pre-made formula.
Dummies were essential for dd, ds wouldn't take one despite best efforts.
I loved our bouncer (we went for the Bjorn, it's expensive but I really think worth it)
I wouldn't have wanted to be without a pram even though we use the carrier most of the time. Can be very helpful for getting to sleep and somewhere to put baby should we ever be allowed out for lunch again! A good carrier is definitely worth the money - sling libraries are great to try them out - we went for the ergobaby 360 and I've always liked it.
We have a bog standard baby monitor and (in hindsight) I would have preferred a video monitor, especially second time around (baby would always wake if you went into check).
Don't go overboard on newborn clothes or size 1 nappies - they grow super fast and might never fit in newborn clothes anyway.
Cellular blankets are great. Easy to wash and safe for breathing.
Baby gym is also great for early days.
Napisan for soaking dirty clothes is awesome.

Good luck! It's so exciting planning number 1!

@ThoroughlyForumed

Thank you for additional advice! I do plan to breastfeed but wont push it it struggling too much I've heard some horror stories of new mums really tiring themselves out and beating themselves up if it doesnt 'work'

Would never shame anyone who cannot breastfeed but if you can get going it really can be the easiest thing in the world - instant, free, portable, sustainable, kept me thin. But can also be absolute agony to begin with if the latch is wrong so get some advice asap if it hurts too much.

I had twins so things were a little different for us but things I found invaluable for the first few months were:

Cold water steriliser (I used a steam one at first and then was introduced to the cold water ones in hospital with DT2 - amazing)

White noise - forget Ewan the dream sheep etc, they’re so quiet. We used a Bluetooth speaker and a phone app, so we could turn it up and it worked so well.

Decent bouncer or swing - we started with 4Moms Rockaroo swings and they were amazing. But my twins were small and I expect a bigger baby wild outgrow it quite quickly. Once they outgrew those I got Baby Bjorn bouncers and wow, those things were fantastic, could have used them from much younger. We had a cheap Mothercare bouncer someone gave us before that and the boys couldn’t bounce themselves but I think even a small baby could bounce themselves in these as they take such little movement. They fold flat, are light, can easily be carried around the house, whole cover slides off for machine washing, they recline, and they used them until they were about 2 as seats. I’ve seen Ikea now sell a similarly designed bouncer but don’t know if it’s as good.

All of the swings / bouncers I bought second hand and sold for almost what I paid for them - it makes such difference to be able to put them down safely while you pee or shower, or bounce them to sleep with your foot when you’re too exhausted to rock them any more! I so miss the days I could put them in their bouncers and they’d stay there 😬

@PurBal

Following with interest OP. Got a while to go but we can't get our heads around a pushchair. Everyone says "think about your lifestyle" but we can't envisage how any pushchair would fit it. We are avid hikers and that's what we do almost every weekend. We are both used to backpacking with around 15kg so wondering whether to got down the babywearing route. Anyone here exclusively babywear? Alternatively we may just wait until after LO arrives and see how we get on.

I used a sling exclusively for the first 6 months, then got a lightweight stroller that travelled the world with us - lots of photos of baby sleeping in blissful ignorance in various foreign parts!

Place marking

Such a useful thread, thank you!

My first baby is now 8 weeks old. I have found the following items very useful so far:

• cheeky wipes (washable, super easy to manage and saves both your money and the environment)
• bedside cot - we have the tutti bambini and love it
• changing table
• night lights on the landing and in the nursery for night time nappy changes
• gro egg to know the temperature in the bedroom and it also acts as a night light for night feeds
• we have a silver cross and there is a stand for our bassinet so we use that for day naps rather than a moses basket
• lansinoh cream for if you plan to breastfeed (use it after every feed for the first few days and you should hopefully avoid sore nipples. It worked wonders for me)
• cellular blankets (the little green sheep company sell some lovely ones)
• lots of babygros with built in mittens

I don’t know if it’s already been said - but I LOVED my Tommee Tippee sangenic nappy bib. It was a lifesaver and saved stinky rooms and be constantly going outside to throw out the bin

@SunnySideUp2020

What size baby clothes to initially buy? Also is there a point in buying short sleeves vests for baby with edd 3rd april with climate like england?

Apart from when it was hot my DD had a short sleeve vest on for most of her first (and second) year. Had some long sleeve ones for the depths of winter. They're great for keeping nappies in place I found!

I'd get a small amount of newborn or 0-1 month and then more 0-3 month for when they grow out of those first sizes.

Oh, and an extra long phone charging cable and a water bottle - if you breastfeed you'll be very thirsty during the night feeding sessions.

Baby wipes (make sure they are properly flushable)

Congratulations to all of you on your soon-to-be arrivals but please don't flush baby wipes, even ones that claim to be flushable. They fuck up your drains. Just bag them up with the dirty nappy.

I bought loads with my first and hardly needed anything. I think these are essential but others have different things they see as essential.

Baby grows And little cardigans (all of mine lived in baby grows for first few weeks)
Cotton wool For nappy changes
Nappies
Nappy cream
Baby wipes (water ones) for convenience
Muslin squares

Car seat
Pram/pushchair
Bouncy chair
Moses basket/crib
Bedding and a blanket

All in one warm suit for going out.

If your bottle feeding bottles (no Idea how many) steriliser. Dummies

Oh and vests - quite a few as they Poo through everything!

@HotDiggidy2017 so glad it's not just us!
@Twillow glad to know it's doable for the early days. Thanks for sharing.

A private tongue tie assessment from a qualified lactation consultant. It's the one thing that could hugely impact those first six months if planning to breastfeed

FTM here to. My little one is 18 weeks today.

My experience so far of what was actually essential for our first few weeks.

Several hundred muslins
Snuz pod / next to me bed and tons of spare sheets for it.
Pram
Car seat
Tommy tipee grow swaddle - these were literally a life saver for us.
Sleep suits
Vests
Cellular blanket
Bath thermometer - we had a baby bath to which had been great for us

We bottle fed so our other essentials were the prep machine and also the steriliser. Both save so much time.

Essential items wise that was pretty much it for the first few weeks other than nappies and wipes.

If I had another one I wouldn't get a Moses basket. Used it for about a week and he hated it so would use the carry cot from pram in the future as it's essential the same thing

Totally forgot changing Mat! And if you have an upstairs and a downstairs then have two . When they are newborn you don't want to be going up and down the stairs all the time

I had a next to me crib rather than moses basket it was much easier as I breastfed. Metenium nappy cream as you'll need it for nappy rash.
Childs farm baby wash and moisturiser for bath time.
A towel for your baby.. I bought a hooded one with panda ears 😜

10 week old baby here! What we actually used in the first few weeks -

Muslins (lots)
Snuzpod next to bed cot
Baby sleeping bag and swaddle
Baby clothes - get kimono wrap-style vests and front popper babygrows, that way you never have to take anything off over their heads
Baby hat and blanket for going outside
Cheeky wipes, lots and lots of them- much much easier than cotton wool and can be used for bums, faces, cleaning up spills etc. Also better for baby & environment than wet wipes and cheaper in the long run
Nappies
Sudocrem
Pram
Sling - found the wrap ones too hot and fiddly so ended up with a baby bjorn. If you have a sling library near you then it's a good way to try different ones out
Nipple cream & breast pads
Lots of front-opening/low necked tops & some soft nursing bras (bravado ones are good)
Lots of painkillers, stool softeners (sorry) and soft maternity pads for yourself (natracare are good)
Some sort of low light /nightlight for nighttime feeds and nappy changes
Changing mats (upstairs and downstairs)
Car seat
Basket & water bottle - for putting in all your painkillers, phone, snacks etc in. You'll be spending a lot of time sitting under a baby trying to feed etc and that way you have everything you need within reach

Personally, I wouldn't bother with:

Baby wash/moisturiser etc - not good for their skin, washing in water is fine and they don't need moisturising! All their skin starts to flake off after about a week but this is normal and will go away on its own
Moses basket - we used the top of the pram but baby would only sleep on us most of the time anyway
Baby bath - washed her in the sink or put her in the bath with us
Breast pump etc - you can get this later on if you want to express
Any baby clothes that aren't babygrows or vests - too much faff & ride up
Cotton wool - honestly, cheeky wipes are the way to go here, much more efficient and less fiddly
Bouncer chair - not safe for newborns, wait until they're a bit older
Scratch mitts - they learn very quickly to stop scratching their face and mitts can impede development in other ways - babies use their hands to help them breastfeed, they put them on your breast to facilitate the latch and stimulate oxytocin so it's good to leave them uncovered. Mittens for outside are good though.
Changing bag - save your money and just use a normal rucksack or tote
Baby gym - good for slightly older babies but you won't need it to start off with
Breastfeeding pillow - just use a normal one