Exclusive formula feeding

[bleachblondemom]

Tonight I think I’ve finally admitted to myself that I would rather formula feed than breast feed. I kept saying I would try breast feeding but my heart isn’t in it and for many personal reasons I don’t think I will enjoy it. My husband is fully supportive and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now, it’s as if I didn’t realise the thought of breast feeding was giving me so much anxiety until I actually told the truth about how I was feeling.
Part of me still feels worried that I’ll be judged or seen as lazy/selfish but I really believe it is the best option for me.
Just wondered if anyone here had exclusively formula fed and if you’ve got any tips/experiences to share?

My first tip is don't give a flying f**k what other people think.
I knew I was never going to breastfeed. As it was I didn't produce any milk anyway.
You will always face the ones who tell you that you should breastfeed but it's your body and your baby. No one can tell you what to do.

Also FF isn't lazy or selfish... people have their reasons.

The vast majority of women in the U.K. formula feed so it’s not an unusual decision.

@MasksGlovesSoapScrubs I know it’s not lazy or selfish, obviously I don’t think that! I’m worried that’s what other people might think. I have reasons for wanting to formula feed. Normally I am 100% one of those people who doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks but breast feeding always seems to be a sensitive topic, hence why I felt like I was saying ‘I want to breast feed’ for all the wrong reasons.

@AnneLovesGilbert I actually didn’t realise that, because it’s so drummed in that breast is best. But tonight I’ve really thought about it and opened up about how I feel and honestly I feel more relaxed already, like now I’m excited to have the baby and not be riddled with feeding anxiety.

My son is formula fed and is a happy thriving 7 month old. I know from the start I wouldn't be breastfeeding as I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. Whenever anyone said 'you should just try breastfeeding' I just said it was personal choice and as long as baby is feeding well, healthy and growing that's all that matters. I felt that with formula feeding it gave husband and other family members time to bond with baby too.

At the end of it all, it's your body and your choice

@alexio I feel the same way as you. I guess I just wanted to know that how I was feeling about it was ok!

Don't stress OP. Il be honest I let the stress get the better of me with my DD two years ago and remember not loving the newborn stage. Only when I got over the fact that it was ok to formula feed I was at a better place mentally. It's not even how people judge you, for me it was me feeling like I haven't given my child the 'best'. Now with my newborn DS I'm more relaxed and mix feed. Breast isn't best. Fed is best for sure with my little ones. I didn't produce enough (I swear the keep trying didn't work for me) and my child was losing weight. You do what's best for you and your baby. The fact that you're thinking about this and stressing and even asking on here shows you're going to be a great mother.

@bleachblondemom I think it's drummed into you so much by midwives and antenatal clinics that breast is best and there is an expectation that you do it but if it's not for you it's not for you. There is a lot of pressure on expectant and new mums and that's really something you don't need

I'm currently pregnant with my 2nd baby and the midwife asked at the booking appointment how I would be feeding and told me to consider it. I just shut her down immediately and will continue to do so whenever it's mentioned again. Don't put that pressure on yourself to be forced into it

It's completely your decision but I have to ask, what is it about it that's causing you so much worry? If you've never tried it how do you know it's not for you? Maybe go with the flow a bit and take each day as it comes?

Never ever wanted to breast feed. Tried with a pump, made an ounce. Some people can not make alot. I'm glad I formula fed. They like to feed them straight away after being born and if your milk doesn't come in for 3 days you have to use formula! So I carried on using it. If anyone asked I said I have a pump thanks, got them off my back as it's endless the questioning

[quote bleachblondemom]@MasksGlovesSoapScrubs I know it’s not lazy or selfish, obviously I don’t think that! I’m worried that’s what other people might think. I have reasons for wanting to formula feed. Normally I am 100% one of those people who doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks but breast feeding always seems to be a sensitive topic, hence why I felt like I was saying ‘I want to breast feed’ for all the wrong reasons.[/quote]
It's your body and your baby.
Fed is best.
All the best in your pregnancy x

Honestly, midwives etc have to try and encourage it as the UK has some of the worst breastfeeding rates in the world. By a couple of months in, something like 85% of women are formula feeding so you definitely won't be judged or seen as lazy or selfish, its by far and away the choice most mothers make whether its from the start or through circumstances. There will always be someone with an unwanted opinion about every aspect of your parenting but uou just need to ignore and not care or you will drive yourself nuts. Noones opinion matters but you, your partner (to a lesser extent) and your baby.

Honestly how baby was fed will soon be yesterday's news. People talk about it for a few weeks then it's onto 'are they rolling yet' or whatever

I didn't ff but would urge you to bear in mind that while some people who ask about how you are feeding you baby might be judgmental twats, others are just asking because there's not that much to ask about with babies birthweight/ sleeping or not/ blah, blah. Honestly, lots of people just don't think before they open their mouths.
If anyone other than a HCP asks you why you are formula feeding, a cheery "because I want to" should do it. You will get HCPs asking why you don't want to bf in the early days, but if you are unwavering, they will do the minimum required to ensure they have "informed you" of the benefits of breastfeeding.
You will be in the majority so day to day you will be fine, particularly as the baby grows.

Go for glass bottles! I didn’t FF but my DCs took bottles of expressed milk and there is news that babies are consuming huge amounts of microplastics through bottles. Feeling guilty about it now.

www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/oct/19/bottle-fed-babies-swallow-millions-microplastics-day-study?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Feed your baby how you want to and don't give it another thought. Your baby will thrive and so will you. Don't put yourself under pressure to do something you really don't want to do as it will make you feel stressed, which is the last thing you want with a new baby.

And I say that as someone who's very much pro-breastfeeding and enjoyed breastfeeding my own children.

I formula fed all 3 of my babies and they're all thriving and healthy. My midwife told me once - 'go into a nursery and point out which children were breastfed'

Your body, your baby and your choice. Fed is best no matter what some people will wrongly try to convince you.

OP- never let someone pressure you into doing something that you don't want with your own body ! Pees me off that society does this to women you do what is right for you ! Baby will be absolutely fine I promise

It really is totally fine. Your baby will be gorgeous and happy. You will bond.

Zero pressure but just in case you wanted to... you can express colostrum before giving birth and freeze it in little syringes (like tiny calpol ones). Then baby will get all the benefits of the first feed without the needing to nurse.

Good luck with your baby! And buy pre-mix for night at least at first because ain’t nobody who wants to make bottles at 2am!

I don't judge as some people don't produce milk or can't for other health reasons or it's not feasible due to work or lifestyle, plus I'm assuming you're in the UK where the majority of babies are ff anyway.

Midwives have to push Bf as it's common knowledge that it's healthier. FF is not lazy though and in fact it requires more effort and attention as opposed to flipping your boob out at anytime and anywhere when your baby wants. Bf is a journey I chose and preferred my dc to get the antibodies, touch wood he has never been ill compared to his peers who are always ill every fortnight during outbreaks in nurseries. Also when dc was born, I had a traumatic birth and didn't bond with him until my milk came and until I established breastfeeding, that's when I formed a bond which was a week later. On the other hand, I have struggled with sleep as my child has never slept through properly and used my boobs as a comfort tool and I've never had a break from him for more than 2 hours when he was ebf. What matters the most is, as long as your baby is full and content who cares what anyone thinks. In my position, I get more funny stares when I Bf my child in public than on holiday in countries where Bf is more popular where I receive approving smiles especially from older ladies.

I'm completely in the same position OP and have never had the desire to breastfeed, it just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and I've witnessed so many friends go through such emotional turmoil with trying to continue to breastfeed when it's caused them so many issues, it's ended up affecting their mental health! My first baby is due in 6 weeks and I will be formula feeding from the start. My biggest fear is also being judged but I'm also worried about what happens to your milk?! I keep hearing how you wake up on day 3-5 with these massive sore painful breasts full of milk...if you're not using it how do you relieve it??

Your body, your choice.
Better to decide now than to do it a week after birth because your body won't cooperate and you are a mess of hormones. Definitely go for the pre made stuff. Not sure about the glass bottles, it's very easy to knock over a bottle at stupid o'clock in the morning.

@Stargazer87

I'm completely in the same position OP and have never had the desire to breastfeed, it just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest and I've witnessed so many friends go through such emotional turmoil with trying to continue to breastfeed when it's caused them so many issues, it's ended up affecting their mental health! My first baby is due in 6 weeks and I will be formula feeding from the start. My biggest fear is also being judged but I'm also worried about what happens to your milk?! I keep hearing how you wake up on day 3-5 with these massive sore painful breasts full of milk...if you're not using it how do you relieve it??

It does happen but you'll find it resolves itself fairly quickly.

@orangejuicer So does the milk just go away without needing to do anything??