Exclusive formula feeding

[bleachblondemom]

Tonight I think I’ve finally admitted to myself that I would rather formula feed than breast feed. I kept saying I would try breast feeding but my heart isn’t in it and for many personal reasons I don’t think I will enjoy it. My husband is fully supportive and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now, it’s as if I didn’t realise the thought of breast feeding was giving me so much anxiety until I actually told the truth about how I was feeling.
Part of me still feels worried that I’ll be judged or seen as lazy/selfish but I really believe it is the best option for me.
Just wondered if anyone here had exclusively formula fed and if you’ve got any tips/experiences to share?

Don't stress! All of this "breast is best" is unnecessary pressure. Surely "fed is best" is the mantra we should be hearing.
I formula fed both of mine, they are both absolutely fine and healthy. Always have been.
I am pregnant with my 3rd and still trying to decide if I'm going with formula again or if I'll try breast feeding this time. Who knows. Not really up to anyone else but the mama! Xx

Ignore the mumsnet bf army.

I breastfed exclusively for 4 months, my baby was hospitalised for being severely underweight and I was monitored breastfeeding and made to feel horrendous.

Formula feeding was the best thing I ever did.

I loved the idea of breastfeeding but it didn't work out for me, I was also so brainwashed in thinking it was the right thing to do when in fact, it wasn't for me.

@Clearthinking

Never ever wanted to breast feed. Tried with a pump, made an ounce. Some people can not make alot. I'm glad I formula fed. They like to feed them straight away after being born and if your milk doesn't come in for 3 days you have to use formula! So I carried on using it. If anyone asked I said I have a pump thanks, got them off my back as it's endless the questioning

No one should have to breastfeed if they don't want to.

However, your post contains some inaccuracies which are quite irritating.

-The amount you can pump is not representative of the amount you can produce when a baby is suckling. All my dc were EBF for the first 5-6 months and all continued to BF for some time afterwards. I had no supply issues at all and rarely got more and 1oz at a time with a pump, unless I had the baby on one breast and the pump on the other.

-Milk takes a few days to come in and in the meantime you produce colostrum, which fully meets the nutritional needs of the baby.

@FizzingWhizzbee123 the midwife I had my feeding class with yesterday was really enthusiastic about the perfect prep. Yeah she did say you need to look after it properly, and that people who had complained about it getting a bit of mould were those who had had it for years and it had been stored away somewhere until second baby. So I wouldn’t let any negative reviews put me off especially as so many people have commented here saying how great they are. I’m really glad I’ve made this decision so I’ll try not to let anyone else’s comments affect how I feel :) I have one MAM bottle and 4 tommee tippee so I can try the MAM if the baby doesn’t like tommee tippee and order more if it prefers them

@HardonCollider sounds handy having two in the house! I might buy one myself and ask for another one for Christmas lol

@Waitingforbabypage thank you :) yeah I thought to myself, maybe when I have a 2nd or 3rd baby I might feel more confident about breastfeeding and give it a go, but right now I don’t think it’s for me.

@RedVelvetDreams aww I’m sorry to hear that, no one should make you feel like that when you’re just trying your best. Glad the formula feeding worked out for you.

I used the premixed ones till 3 months - expensive definitely but I could never properly manage the preparing with powder at first and in the early months it was terrible trying to prepare formula when DS was hungry and crying.. when I started using the powder instead, I got a Dr Brown's pitcher from my SIL in US and have used that to make up 4 bottles at a time and keep them in separate bottles at the back of the fridge. It saved me a lot of hassle. Plus the pitcher mixed the formula is such a way that there were no bubbles or lumps..
Don't bother with what others say. My baby thrived when I FFed. Before that was 2 months of a non-diagnosed tongue tie, pumping which ruined my ducts (I swear it did) and neuropathic spasms AFTER I finished the painful feeds . FflF is what saved my sanity and made my child the happy, healthy kid he is today..

I formula fed from about 1.5 weeks. I'd been put off the perfect prep by my midwife so I got a kettle that boils water and holds it at 70 degrees. It saved so much faff. We took it upstairs at night so we could just make up bottles in the bedroom. For out and about we used a mix of premade and flasks, depending on where we were going and how long we would be out for. Premade formula is much more expensive plus DS prefers the powdered stuff. At 11 months he'd now rather have a banana but that's another story.

The main thing is to do what's right for you, there will be people (primarily on Mumsnet) who will tell you you have to try to breastfeed. You absolutely don't. I felt like I had to, like it was the right thing to do. It was when my 10lbs 10oz baby weighed 9lbs 5oz that I realised it wasn't the best thing for our family. Don't get me wrong, if I were to have another child I'd try again but with far less pressure this time.

All formulas are nutritionally complete and provide everything your baby needs. Some babies will get on with some formulas better than others. We used Aldi mamia, it's great for us and it's the cheapest on the market. We mixed and matched with aptimil premade and I know that that wouldn't suit everyone.

@bleachblondemom

Couple more questions to moms that have formula fed:

When the baby wakes in the night for feeding, do you take the baby down to the kitchen with you while you warm their bottle first? I’ve always thought it would be best not to get them up and take them to another room, start putting lights on etc, as it’ll disturb their sleep and make them think it’s time to get up. But if you don’t do that then doesn’t that mean baby is left upstairs crying and waking everyone up until you’ve sorted the bottle?

If the baby only drinks a small amount from the bottle I’ve prepared, but I know they will want more in say an hour and a half/ 2 hours, can I leave that bottle on the side for them to finish later? Obv not all day but like a couple of hours?

Is cluster feeding with a FF baby harder because you have to keep making bottles? Or as I mentioned in my last question, can I save an unfinished bottle if baby is feeding little and often rather than finishing a whole bottle in one?

I didn't try taking the baby with me, I couldn't work with one hand, you could try a sling but yes the lights would disturb the baby. In the beginning, I had help so DH or DM would get the feed while I held him or vice versa. Then after a few weeks, when he started making his signature noises of waking up, I would quickly warm the feed up before it became a proper wail - it took practice though, I will not lie.. since I used premixed, it was a matter of a few minutes while it got into bottles and warmed. If he left a bit, I used it only within 2 hours, not beyond that. If it was untouched, I have left the made up bottles for 24-36 hours (same as the premix really) tightly closed and back of the fridge.. I would make up a little amount of milk and keep in a couple of bottles - like an ounce or 2 extra in case he was hungrier than usual rather than fill a whole bottle feed up. Cluster feeds again were easier with both premixed and the Pitcher coz I made 4 feeds at a time with it.. and could put less in separate bottles so it didn't get contaminated.. hope that helped

Agree with @Anurulz I will be getting a prep machine but you won't have it when you go out and stuff. Its perfectly fine to make up the bottles in advance... they're perfectly good for 24 hours or so as long as everything is sterile and in the fridge after it is made. Made life so much easier, bottle prep machine will be great at home but no harm in making some in advance for when you go out. I used to just ask for a bowl of hot water at cafes etc and stuck the bottle in there to heat up for 5 mins.

The perfect prep is not necessarily safe:

'Some people now use 'Perfect Prep machines'. We advise you against using one of these machines. This is because they deliver a small volume ('shot') of very hot water and then add cool water to make up the rest of the feed. This is not sufficient to kill the bacteria in formula milk.'

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nnuh.nhs.uk/publication/download/formula-feeding-top-tips-for-parents-v2&ved=2ahUKEwiKs5360cjsAhVTVsAKHYIyBSQQFjAQegQIIxAB&usg=AOvVaw1gMcNL02pRhGvDVhyMXPBj&cshid=1603386468998" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nnuh.nhs.uk/publication/download/formula-feeding-top-tips-for-parents-v2&ved=2ahUKEwiKs5360cjsAhVTVsAKHYIyBSQQFjAQegQIIxAB&usg=AOvVaw1gMcNL02pRhGvDVhyMXPBj&cshid=1603386468998

Personally I think FF will be such hard work compared to BF! All the faff, all the sterisiling, having to get up at night, you have to pack everything you need each time you go out. Please make sure you're well informed on what's involved. I know you said you have decided now and of course it's your choice but I just wanted to say I found the thought of BF awkward and weird too before I had my DC, but after a few feeds it just becomes normal and not weird at all.

@Helenknowsbest my friend has actually bought me a travel bottle warmer so that was a really good buy on her part :) You fill the thermo flask with hot water and when you want to warm a bottle whilst out, you tip the hot water into the beaker and place the bottle in it to warm the milk up

@Mylittlesandwich good to hear a positive review of the Aldi formula as that’s where we do our weekly big shop so I’ll happy to try some of that first

@Anurulz appreciate your comments and advice thank you :)

Honestly op go with your gut. Your baby so it’s your choice

I breastfed both DS for between 8-10 weeks. At the 4 week mark I’d had enough and it made me feel physically sick every time I had to do it. I’d suspected I might feel this easy before they were born

With DS1 i gradually switched to formula from 6 weeks until he was fully formula fed by 8 weeks

With DS2 I originally was only going to do it for a couple of weeks but due to the pandemic I kept going as it was at the height of all the panic buying and people were struggling to get formula. As soon as that eased off I made the switch again.

I was 100% happier and bonded with the babies better once they were on formula. For me something happened to my hormones at 4 weeks that made me detest it

Oh and get a perfect prep machine...life saver!

Your welcome.. a bottle warmer would be helpful. I didn't have any gadgets (should have, in hindsight) so I usually just asked for some hot water in a cafe to warm the bottle up or warmed it and kept in the aluminium lined pocket of the diaper bag ( I would suggest get a good, big diaper bag with plenty pockets for diapers, both used and unused, the wipes and the temp maintaining one). If you can, the small premixed ones are handy for short trips..

I FF from day 4 and have tormented myself about it ever since...24 years ago. When he got a first from a top university I think I finally accepted it doesn't matter. Go for it and don't waste a moment regretting it.

Not necessarily directed at the OP as you've made a decision that's right for you, but it doesn't have to be either/or, I know a lot of people who successfully mix fed from the start e.g. didn't want to breastfeed in public or wanted a partner to do an early or late bottle. I think people do think breastfeeding won't work if you add formula but that's not necessarily the case.

@soffiee

I don't judge as some people don't produce milk or can't for other health reasons or it's not feasible due to work or lifestyle, plus I'm assuming you're in the UK where the majority of babies are ff anyway.

Midwives have to push Bf as it's common knowledge that it's healthier. FF is not lazy though and in fact it requires more effort and attention as opposed to flipping your boob out at anytime and anywhere when your baby wants. Bf is a journey I chose and preferred my dc to get the antibodies, touch wood he has never been ill compared to his peers who are always ill every fortnight during outbreaks in nurseries. Also when dc was born, I had a traumatic birth and didn't bond with him until my milk came and until I established breastfeeding, that's when I formed a bond which was a week later. On the other hand, I have struggled with sleep as my child has never slept through properly and used my boobs as a comfort tool and I've never had a break from him for more than 2 hours when he was ebf. What matters the most is, as long as your baby is full and content who cares what anyone thinks. In my position, I get more funny stares when I Bf my child in public than on holiday in countries where Bf is more popular where I receive approving smiles especially from older ladies.

Your latter point is so interesting... I BF in public all the time (UK) and I only ever receive smiles or politely averted eyes.. now I want to go abroad to see what other reactions I can get!