What did your birth plan look like?

[Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt]

As above really? What things did you ask for to be in place or things you wanted to avoid? I'm thinking pain relief escalation etc. too

You’ll inevitably get a load of responses saying not to bother bla bla. But a well-researched birth plan can be really valuable, and I definitely ended up with a positive experience from doing one compared with the first-time round when I had the ‘birth plans go out the window’ attitude.

Be open-minded about what could happen in labour and what kind of pain relief you might want- you don’t know for definite until you’re there. But keep in mind that every intervention and procedure is offered (including sweeps, inductions etc that they offer at your antenatal appts) and your consent is needed for everything, there are often other options to consider. I’d also think carefully in regards to forceps and assisted deliveries vs c-section.

I agree with @jellybeanbonbon

Think of it not so much as a ‘plan’ but as ‘preferences’

Think of your ideal birth and make sure those requirements are listed - so for me that means I describe that I like quiet, I want a water birth and gas & air, I don’t want internal exams unless absolutely necessary, and I’d choose a managed third stage please. My DH is very well versed in this too so he can speak for me if I’m, um, otherwise occupied

Writing that down doesn’t mean it’s necessarily gone ‘wrong’ if things go completely differently on the day. But it’s your labour, your body, and you get to decide what’s important to you.

Positive birth company has a great template - in fact their online antenatal hypnobirthing course is excellent and will teach you how to mentally prepare and plan. Highly recommend it x

Mine had what pain relief I did and didn't want. That I wanted intermittently monitoring when possible (I was in an obstetric unit not a midwife one due to pregnancy issues). That I wanted delayed cord clamping. And various other things. Some of these things were hospital policy but having things written down meant the midwives referred to them and tried to stick to my preferences where possible even when things got complicated.

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt Following this with interest! Trying to write mine just now and I’m unsure how much detail to go into. I’ve written out my preferences in regards to Vitamin K, Skin to skin, announcing the sex etc.
There’s a list in my pregnancy notes of questions to answer in your birth plan but it’s all things like “what positions would you like to be in for labour and delivery?” which I’m not really sure how to answer given that it’s my first baby 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think for things like that I’m just going to write that I’m happy to take the advise of the midwives and try various positions depending how things are progressing 🤷🏻‍♀️
Same with pain relief...in an ideal world I’d like as little medication as possible but I need it at the time then I’m open to most options 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not the biggest fan of any of the injections that can have a bit of a lasting effect on baby, like Pethidine/Diamorphine etc, so I have said that I would rather not have those.

I didn't have one with my first and it ended up being a bit chaotic so would really like one this time around, even just to remind myself of my preferences in the moment!

Thank you, will look at the positive birth company

I’m planning on birth preferences for:
Vaginal birth
Instrumental birth
C section

Then placenta delivery, cord clamping, skin to skin, vitamin K.

I’m including things that are not particularly essential but are important to me eg I want to see my placenta. I want vitamin K given when the Baby is in my arms.
x

I was laughed at (literally) for asking for one.

@bellinisurge I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. Was that recently?

Things have come a long way in the last few years but us women really still have to work hard to advocate for ourselves.

Pregnancy and labour is not an illness, we don’t go through it very often in our lives, and yet it has the potential to be hugely traumatic and negative if we aren’t respected and listened to. Equally it can be amazing and empowering with just a little empathy, compassion and respect.

My lovely midwife from my first birth wrote on my notes ‘birth plan read. using Hypnobirthing techniques’. I was very fortunate to go on to have a positive birth experience because I was listened to.

I really hope more women take time to think of their preferences, and write them down. And educate their birth partner on them too, so they can be supported at a critical time. It should absolutely be standard practice x

It was 14 years ago. And I'm pretty certain that childbirth isn't a new thing

I agree with others here - have a couple. I had my ideal home birth, what I wanted to happen if I had to transfer (I did) and what I wanted if I needed a c section (I didn't)
Just because things don't follow the path you want you can still keep key elements. For me that was delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin and keeping a quiet birth environment.

I would put money on you planning and having preferences for other areas of your life. Birth is no different. The positive birth book is a brilliant resource for explaining your options and the choices you can make.

As PP said, keep them in mind as ‘preferences’ not a ‘plan’. You can’t ‘plan’ for a birth, they tend to do their own thing!

Make sure whatever you’ve written down is on one single A4 sheet (if possible) so it’s easy and quickly to read. Print out a couple of copies. Make sure your birth partner is in agreement with you on what you want and will advocate for you if you can’t.

It’s a good idea to be informed about pain relief options (pros/cons/side effects etc). I did an excellent hypnobirthing course where they covered all the pain relief on a sliding scale. It was really helpful because when I was out of it during my labour, I knew what was what without having to have the midwives explain anything to me. I would also keep an open mind about pain relief- a friend of mine was adamant she didn’t want anything beyond gas and air. She ended up sobbing in pain to her husband saying she wanted an epidural but couldn’t have one because it wasn’t in her ‘plan’.

Birth preferences are great but do keep an open mind. My labour and birth was pretty traumatic and all my preferences went out the window. When I unpacked my hospital bag at home I found my printed sheet of preferences (it went so wrong that I never even gave it to the midwives!) and I got really upset. I had to put it away to process later. It’s been a year and I still haven’t looked at it yet!

I had one for my first birth that was ignored when my planned home birth became a high risk induction.
My second was consultant led and she wrote me a birth plan which was more focused on what drugs to give when.
I think the most important thing is to go through the process with your husband so that you both understand what might happen and how you might choose to respond to different scenarios.

My midwife wouldn't even do one with me when I went to that appointment at 36 weeks or whenever it was. She said it was pointless. But I'd been sort of looking forward to having some sort of preferences noted somewhere in case I could have what I wanted. I was a bit annoyed at that. I have another baby due in December and I will push for it more this time. Only things like I'd prefer a water birth if possible, with the lights dimmed. I don't want an epidural. And after having a midwife who used quite negative language last time, I want to put something about that in there. She wasn't a very personable woman and I didn't feel comfortable with her anyway, but after I'd given birth I needed a few stitches. Couldn't have cared less, I'd just done this amazing thing and me and my baby were both fine, but she said "well I have bad news, you're going to need some stitches" and it just sticks with me as her being pretty negative when honestly that wasn't bad news at all to me! And I felt every stitch which was horrible, I think I might put in there too about that and that I would like it to be completely numb before they start stitching if I need them this time.

Mine was looooong and almost none of it mattered in the end. My key points which did get followed through on

Skin to skin and face down weighing
Don't talk about me when I'm contracting or ask questions when I'm not capable of replying

I said I wanted the injection for the placenta, wanted baby to have Vit K jab, said I want an epidural if I ask, fast skin on skin, not to chop the cord straight away- can’t remember the reasoning behind that now.

@BetterEatCheese

Out of interest why face down weighing? Sorry, purely being nosey

I did one and staff refused to even look at it. This was in January this year.

The only things I put on mine were that I wanted to avoid a c section at all costs and that I wanted an epidural. Got my epidural, ended up having an emergency c section

Wanted as natural as possible but was open to see how things progressed. Didn't want morphine. Wanted injection to pass placenta. Wanted baby to have Vit K injection. Wanted delayed cord cutting, skin to skin for as long as possible and planned to breastfeed.
No one actually looked at it but I was induced so they asked me all these questions when I went in but if you were in full swing labour when you arrived at hospital I think it is good to have it all written so you could just hand it to them.

Definitely don't get too hung up on it, I think if you are too strict with what you want you'll only be more upset if it doesn't go that way. Bullet points of anything you do/don't particularly want I think are good rather than a story

I think any good midwife will want to know your preferences, when I went in the lovely midwife was asking if I had a birth plan then asking all about what sort of preferences I had in mind and I had no clue!

I second the positive birth book, it also includes making a plan for an unexpected c-section or birth in theatre. I think that would help with an element of control when things take a different turn.

My birth plan was:
Would like to use the pool as pain relief in early stages and was happy to use gas and air.
Definitely didn't want diamorphine as it makes me horrendously sick
Was happy to change positions and take advice from midwives
Wanted music playing throughout

Ended up with;
Straight up to a private room on the delivery suite as I had been sick the night before and my blood pressure was sky high so I couldn't stay on the midwife led unit.
Gas and air didn't have an effect so opted for epidural
Watched tv, listened to music and chatted from around 12:30pm until 12:30am
Started to push and DD kept going back up so went with episiotomy and forceps (already had the epidural so no hanging around)
DD born at 2:02am

So not my "ideal" birth that I had in my head but still a positive birth where I felt in control

Definitely a good idea to have some plans in your head about whether you think you might want an epidural etc and chat it over with whoever will be with you. Not sure there's any benefit to writing it down. I didn't bother.

Vit. K was a no brainer as far as I was concerned so no need to write it down. Injection to deliver placenta I just decided at the time.

Had an induction which I absolutely didn't want and during which I was completely ignored, ended up in emergency section where I had to fight with them to keep my glasses on. Might as well not have bothered writing anything.

Next time won't be so much a birth plan as a 'How do you plan to not make me suicidal this time?' plan.

All of the drugs both alive and well

I wrote mine and it was mostly followed by with DD1. DD2 was born on Monday and I may as well not have brought it. It was all too quick and I didn’t have time for my epidural. I said I didn’t want gas and air after it made me feel all spaced out last time but I had it for a much longer time the first time. I had delayed cord clamping because it’s hospital procedure for most births. She was delivered to my chest and we did skin to skin because I was so hot and sweaty, I just stripped off whilst pushing because I didn’t care.

As a PP said, treat it as preferences but be ready to be flexible.