What did your birth plan look like?

[Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt]

As above really? What things did you ask for to be in place or things you wanted to avoid? I'm thinking pain relief escalation etc. too

Hello, hope everyone is well

I have 4 children and never really had a birth plan, apart from the fact that I would have liked a water birth with all of them. All my babies were born vaginal delivery.
Only one was water birth which was my third child, my ds is now approaching 5. With my last baby girl, born in 2018 , I had decided I would like a water birth again. As it really Is an amazing experience. The water helps take the weight and pressure off you. But as I have slow labours, like ridiculously slow labours they had to bring me out of the birthing pool to break my waters....which was to help speed things up as things go very slowly. I'm talking a day and a half in labour being the shortest.the actual pushing Delivery is quicker, mind you. Probably because I have had enough of contracting for 1 to 2 days.

But I wasnt able to get back in the pool, after she broke my waters with my 4th baby ,if you can believe this, because the new midwife who took over the first ones shift, she wouldn't be able to help me because she had a bad back....ehhhhh. hello , I'm in labour, shouldn't it be about what I want. I wish I had protested for a new midwife that was able to assist me while I was labouring in the water birth pool. I honestly was so gutted that I couldn't deliver in the birthing pool.

Anyway, I literally have had zero plans with all my children. The only thing being is I have always wanted a child birth using only pethidine and gas and air and of course a water birth. I've never had or wanted an epidural and tbh I am scared of them. Scared things could go wrong as I have heard horror stories and also at the fact that I m am anxious that I wouldn't feel the need to push. Just the vibe I have got from watching one born every minute...

But to be honest, i have just gone with the flow. I am currently expecting baby number 5. And really, really want a water birth. It's just a magical experience that I would highly recommend. It's easier to push in there too.

I did a very detailed one with my first (over 20 years ago) mainly saying things I didn't want (to be given an enema, to be shaved) and the midwife laughed at it and said something like 'what have you been reading- we're not in the dark ages'.

Presumably the book I had been reading about what to expect was a bit out of date!

As well as the negatives I said what I did want: no pain relief other than gas and air, to be in an upright/squatting position, water birth, natural delivery of placenta, vitamin K, skin to skin (though we didn't call it that in those days).

I also said that I reserved the right to change my mind!

I wrote in mine that I didn't want any negative language, so didn't want to hear the words pain or intervention etc. Sounds silly but worked for me as the midwifes were telling me I was amazing and doing great. This relaxed me more, great believer in the power of positivity and active labour only lasted 1 hour 15 for me.

@StayClosePooky

I wrote in mine that I didn't want any negative language, so didn't want to hear the words pain or intervention etc. Sounds silly but worked for me as the midwifes were telling me I was amazing and doing great. This relaxed me more, great believer in the power of positivity and active labour only lasted 1 hour 15 for me.

I didn’t write that in either of mine and there were plenty of negative words coming out of my mouth. All of the midwifes were telling me how amazing I was though. I think that’s just what they do.

No pain relief, didn't want to delivery on my back, as little intervention as possible and as few checks as possible.

Delivered on my back begging for pain meds, after an induced labour 😂

But we got our beautiful healthy baby girl and we were both okay at the end of it so not complaining one bit

I didn't have a "birth plan" with either of my children and had 2 great births without a tear. I guess I did sort of it went like this "get baby out safely". I didn't write anything down, but thought ahead what I wanted to do for pain relief. Planned to see how gas n air went and if I couldn't cope have diamorphine, which I did both times. I just verbally said what I wanted, you have to consent anyway.

No one wants forceps or instruments but push comes to shove if it's a dead or disabled baby or forceps I'd have taken them, I didn't see the point in writing that down.

My plan said:
I am reliably informed that there is a baby in there, please get it out with minimum inconvenience to myself.. Thank you!

The positive birth company visual birth plan is a good one, quicker for the midwife than reading a full birth plan.

Anyway, I literally have had zero plans with all my children. The only thing being is I have always wanted a child birth using only pethidine and gas and air and of course a water birth. I've never had or wanted an epidural
Those sound like plans to me.
A birth plan doesnt have to be a 10 page document detailing all possible scenarios (although if you want it can be). For most people it's a list, in their head or on paper, of things they probably do want or probably dont want.

I only wanted gas and air or epidural because pethidine etc pass onto baby

Totally natural birth or c section. No forceps etc

@PopsicleHustler

Hello, hope everyone is well

I have 4 children and never really had a birth plan, apart from the fact that I would have liked a water birth with all of them. All my babies were born vaginal delivery.
Only one was water birth which was my third child, my ds is now approaching 5. With my last baby girl, born in 2018 , I had decided I would like a water birth again. As it really Is an amazing experience. The water helps take the weight and pressure off you. But as I have slow labours, like ridiculously slow labours they had to bring me out of the birthing pool to break my waters....which was to help speed things up as things go very slowly. I'm talking a day and a half in labour being the shortest.the actual pushing Delivery is quicker, mind you. Probably because I have had enough of contracting for 1 to 2 days.

But I wasnt able to get back in the pool, after she broke my waters with my 4th baby ,if you can believe this, because the new midwife who took over the first ones shift, she wouldn't be able to help me because she had a bad back....ehhhhh. hello , I'm in labour, shouldn't it be about what I want. I wish I had protested for a new midwife that was able to assist me while I was labouring in the water birth pool. I honestly was so gutted that I couldn't deliver in the birthing pool.

Anyway, I literally have had zero plans with all my children. The only thing being is I have always wanted a child birth using only pethidine and gas and air and of course a water birth. I've never had or wanted an epidural and tbh I am scared of them. Scared things could go wrong as I have heard horror stories and also at the fact that I m am anxious that I wouldn't feel the need to push. Just the vibe I have got from watching one born every minute...

But to be honest, i have just gone with the flow. I am currently expecting baby number 5. And really, really want a water birth. It's just a magical experience that I would highly recommend. It's easier to push in there too.

That is a plan

@KitKatastrophe

The positive birth company visual birth plan is a good one, quicker for the midwife than reading a full birth plan.

This is what I used. Main points for me were a water birth, no pain relief offered unless I asked, lights dimmed and calm music playing. I was very firm on my partner passing baby to my chest and having delayed cord clamping. Thankfully I had a wonderful birth and everything went affording to plan.

Mine was roughly:

Epidural
No opiates
C section preferable to instrumental delivery
Yes to Vit K injection
Delayed cord clamping/cutting
DH to cut cord
Yes to assisted delivery of placenta

Mine should have been induced due to
GD and age but was spontaneous in the end. I didn’t get the epidural as too fast and I did have a small amount of Pethidine.
Got everything else as I wanted though

For me it was just an outline of preferences, I was open to anything.

In my head my plan was just "have baby", and on paper it said "partner to tell me gender of child once born"

It worked. Got everything I wanted.

I was once told a birth plan isn't a plan, it's a "birth ideal" cos it never usually goes to plan completely.

This time I will probably have something along the lines of "have baby, minimal pain medication, do what is needed" since the first time round I had midwifes shoving has and air in my mouth when it done nothing but make me feel gaggy and thirsty.

was very firm on my partner passing baby to my chest

Can I ask why?

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

was very firm on my partner passing baby to my chest

Can I ask why?

Because it was a special moment, I wanted the first person to hold my child to be either me or him. It's just something I always dreamed of, no other reason lol

That's lovely @latheritup

Absolutely right. @KitKatastrophe

First one was mainly about water birth and what pain meds I would like. Absolutely no forceps as I refused consent from the off vocally and effusively. Ended in a section.

Second one will be "I don't want to feel anything at all, give me a date to show up and surgically remove the baby with as little fuss as possible. Delayed cord clamping if possible. Vitamin K. Somebody get me a sandwich."

I was also pretty much laughed at for having one. There is no harm in it obviously but be prepared for this. I can't the exact expression that was used but it was something like 'you're here to have a baby not a birth' ie.. we'll do whatever it takes to get your baby out safely and that's that. I remember looking back to my NCT classes and thinking 'no one said it would be like this!' But in fairness they were brilliant. 'Baby' is now 13.

@Lemonsaretheonlyfruit

I know what you mean. My midwife on Monday was very abrupt with me about not being able to have the epidural I wanted because my labour was progressing too quickly. She told me without any beating about the bush what I needed to do and if I was doing it. She told me I was doing well when I said I couldn’t do it but not with excessive fakeness. At the time, she felt mean but afterwards I can see she was just efficient and wanted my baby here with both of us still alive and well. That was the end result I wanted too so she did a good job.

I had a 34 week midwife appointment earlier this week and she asked me if I had my birth plan. I said no because no one has spoken to me or helped me with one - I'm a FTM, I don't know what I don't know! I've done the online class they sent me the link for and I've read the book they gave me - they give you options but don't tell you the pros and cons! She just said well have one written for your next appointment!!

So this thread is actually a great help!

@wannabebump Your midwife sounds as helpful as mine 🙄😳
First time meeting her at 28 weeks she asked me where my birth plan was. Told her it says in the notes that’s something her and I go over together at 34ish weeks so I hadn’t done it it. She was silent and looked at my booking in notes on her computer and replied “I can see your mum had a stillbirth at 30 weeks? All I’m going to say to you is...your lack of preparation for your own baby won’t make it any easier if it happens to you” 😳😐

“two healthy people enter the room, three healthy people leave”.

Realistically theres no harm in having a birth plan
People can be condescending about it but ultimately if you have one that isnt followed is that any different to not having one?
I think it encourages to go through and figure out whats important and discuss with partner (eg neither of us care at all about who cuts the cord, id like it delayed etc) so that some decisions dont have to made where possible in the moment.

I think it also encourages you to research things or at least think about them so even if you say id like no pain relief and then thats not possible you have an idea of what the alternatives are and which you'd prefer or if they ask do you want x or z?. Other wise you are trying to weigh up that information in labour.

If it doesnt work for you then no one will make you follow it! Equally it doesnt mean you have to be dogmatic about it if the circumstances change quickly.

The only things I wrote down were my consent to a managed third stage, vitamin k injection, cord blood donation and that I wanted husband to tell me the sex (we didn't know in advance)

In my head I knew for my second that I wanted a water birth and for both that I wanted to try and stick to gas and air. I also wanted to avoid a c section if possible.

I spent a lot of time visualising my second birth and it went to plan (apart from baby being a girl rather than a boy lol)