Over 40 and due 2021

[luckylakes]

Title does what it says on the tin. Have been on Mumsnet for donkeys years but It's the first ever thread I've actually started.

A space for us to share the joy of being geriatric mothers 😊

I'll start. I'm 42 due 21st May 2021 with DC 3 with my new DH. Already have two lovely DC 12 and 8. Had a MC last year at 11 weeks which floored me as I was so naive to the risks of being older.

We had fertility assessments last year and were told we had next to no chance of conceiving naturally - it turns out I was actually pregnant whilst we were there getting the results of tests we'd had a couple of weeks previously!

This pregnancy was totally out of the blue as we got married in July and have been preoccupied and not necessarily trying to get pregnant. My DH is a bit older than me and he is over the moon at the prospect of having a child.

I'm having a private scan on 12th October and we will have a NIPT test at 10 weeks. For now every day I just think wow today I am pregnant and that is enough for me. If it doesn't work out then it was for a reason but I'm so happy to be pregnant and every day the risk of MC reduces and that's enough for me.

What are your stories, hopes and fears?

Oh, @luckylakes, I'm so sad to hear your news. Sending you lots of hugs. When I found out I'd had a missed miscarriage I was given the 3 options. I decided to go with medical management as it could be done immediately and I couldn't bear the idea of having to wait for surgery. I won't lie, it was really unpleasant. It was painful and messy. That said, I would probably choose the same again so I could avoid surgery but I would kick up a fuss to get pain relief. The staff in EPU were really kind. The nurse I saw insisted on writing a two week sick note. She said that would give me time to recover physically and although emotionally it takes much longer, it was more gentle to be at home than at work. Whatever way it goes from here, my thoughts are with you xxx

@Cleozeta how many weeks are you now? When is your scan again? Sorry, I’m back and forth with the thread trying to catch up!

@Stuntbird congratulations and welcome to the group!

@luckylakes I am keeping everything crossed you will be able to rejoin the group soon! And I wish you a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself.

How has everyone’s symptoms been? I’ve had some strong nausea this week, although not actually been sick. Don’t remember it being this bad previously.

I said if I made it to 6 weeks then I would think about whether to book an early private scan. I’m 6 weeks on Monday so getting closer. I noticed some of providers of the NIPT testing offer the scan as part of the package with the blood tests. Still haven’t decided on the NIPT testing. On the one hand my results from combined are likely to be higher risk due to age so I’d like some reassurance. But I also read that the NIPT tests have caused some false alarm if the tests are not accompanied by explanations at the time. So still unsure what to do at this stage.

I've been lucky with morning sickness until yesterday, when I felt really nauseous and was sick. I've been really tired though. I don't know if anyone else felt or feels tired at 14 weeks?

Hi All,
I'm new here and would like to join. I just found out that I am pregnant this morning. An unscientific guess is that I am about eight weeks along.

It was quite a surprise as I am 47 (not kidding) with no children and a history of previous losses. So, in addition to being in a state of disbelief, I am really concerned about the risks and implications of this. My first doctor's appointment is tomorrow, so should know more then.

@luckylakes I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself - thinking of you.

Just wanted to update you. Saw the doctor who was so lovely. The scan shows it is in the uterus so not elsewhere and there was a yolk sac. It measured 5 weeks and 4 days. There was no heartbeat but she said that wasn't a surprise.

She said she wants to do nothing for 2 weeks and I should go back for another scan then. The reduction in hcg is not good news and I should prepare for the worst but there is a tiny chance it could be ok. She said sometimes hcg can show readings like that for example where there's been a twin pregnancy and now there's just one.

I've had another look at my dates. I had a scan on the 28th august and I was about to ovulate then. (The scan was because I've been having bleeding between my periods) I noted that my period started properly on the 18th august but I'd had bleeding from the 14th so not that sure what dates to use.

I feel so confused. Is anyone good at working out dates?

I think I need to stay off google and just wait now for the next two weeks. If it doesn't happen naturally by then she will talk through the options.

Thanks for listening guys and welcome @TropicalRose 47! That's amazing. Congratulations x

@luckylakes I can't help you with dates I'm afraid as I'm absolutely hopeless but I just wanted to say that I'm so glad that there is a little glimmer of hope for you. I'm sure that these next two weeks aren't going to be easy and you'll feel like you're in a kind of limbo I guess. We're all here any time you want to chat. Sending loads of love your way xx

@TropicalRose welcome to the group and huge congrats on your big surprise! xx

@TropicalRose congratulations. Im in the same boat at 43. Amazing news

@TropicalRose that’s amazing! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

@luckylakes I might be able to help with dates as very similar to mine. LMP was 17 Aug, and DTD on 27 Aug so that might be ovulation day? Or maybe 28? By the date of LMP I reckon I am about 5+3/4 so very similar to what you are measuring. Of course the drop in HCG doesn’t sound great but sounds like the size is about right. I guess it would be too early for a heartbeat in most cases at this size so sounds like a good idea to wait and see.

Thanks @TheMagicDeckchair it's a roller coaster that's for sure!

Hi Ladies,

Thanks all for the warm welcome! It is quite amazing news... I am definitely in shock and possibly even denial. My birthday was in July, so perhaps it sounds slightly better if I say I am 46 and a bit?! As I said to the doctor, there is no-one who is more surprised about this than me.

@luckylakes - I am glad to hear there is a glimmer of hope! It's going to be a stressful two weeks but we are all here to support you. I can't help with dates but if TheMagicDeckchair is right about your dates then I think it is probably too early to see a heartbeat. Therefore, I am going to cross everything that you just had a random fluctuation in HCG levels. Sending you lots of good wishes and positive thoughts.

I had my GP appointment today. When I told her my age, she said "that's a bit unusual" to which I replied, "yep", but other than that, she didn't say anything about it. I had my bloodwork done and it was put through as urgent, so we'll get the HCG number tomorrow. My first scan is booked for Tuesday morning, assuming the HCG level is okay. It's going to be a long few days - I'm just trying to take it one step and one day at a time.

On the upside, if all is well the GP is going to refer me to an OB straight away so I can get all the testing under way and discuss risks etc.

So that is me. Thank you for listening. How is everyone else doing?

Got everything crossed for you @luckylakes what a roller coaster

I'm really struggling keeping up but some incredible stories on here! Welcome @TropicalRose - glad your appt went well!

I had my dating scan today and I woke up really early feeling anxious. All was fine and I've been able to let some people know now, which is really nice - I'm starting to finally let myself believe it's happening!!

Congrats @glastogal, that is great news about your scan.

Hi everyone. I thought I'd pop by and see what's going on. Welcome to the new people.

I've got another week to wait for my scan - I'm meant to be 7 weeks tomorrow. I've had terrible cramps for 2 weeks and the odd bit of spotting - yesterday it was worse. Though only when I wipe and it's brown - light pink so no red blood and clots. There's been nothing over night.

I still have really sore boobs and feel sick and feel so pregnant. It's been the longest week of my life and there's still another week to wait. I know the odds are against us with the reducing hcg and now with the bleeding I know it's going to end in miscarriage but it just feels like torture with the odd slither of hope thrown in when there's days without bleeding.

Has anyone got any experience of waiting for a MC to happen naturally taking this long - last time the bleeding started one night and by the next day was really heavy. It just happened. It was awful and distressing but I could deal with it. This waiting is killing me, I can't concentrate at work and am so tearful all the time. The system doesn't feel very supportive to women in this situation, we're just left to get on with it!

Sorry for rambling on. I hope you are all well x

@luckylakes I'm so sorry to hear that you're still waiting. It's such a horrible situation to be in. I've had two miscarriages that didn't happen by themselves. I waited for about 6 weeks the first time round and then 2 weeks the second. Both times I then opted for surgery.
I remember being in the limbo of waiting for the mc to be confirmed and still having all the pregnancy symptoms. It felt so cruel and I still had a little hope that it wouldn't end in a miscarriage at all.
I think that you just have to do what you can to get through each day and keep focused on the next scan. It's so tough to be preparing yourself for the worst on one hand but still having hope that it won't be bad news on the other. Sending lots of love and hugs your way xxx

@Bea11 how on earth you waited 6 weeks I have no idea. Thank you for your reply x

It is so so cruel that's the only way to describe it. You're right one day at a time is the only way I can deal with it. It's just that the days are so so long.

I do have something else going on at the minute (a nice thing) and I'm trying to be focused on that.

@luckylakes . My second passed naturally - bleeding started on a Thursday and the baby passed on the Monday. Took me by surprise as when it started it was very quick and I hadn't had any cramps until minutes before.

I am still holding onto a glimmer of hope for you and that it may still work out. I had a friend who had big bleeds in early pregnancy and has a bouncing 4 year old.

@welshladywhois40 thank you for sharing what happened to you. There is a tiny glimmer of hope but I am totally realistic.

@luckylakes so sorry you are going through all this. When do you have your next appointment?

Thanks @TheMagicDeckchair. Scan is next Friday. I'm keeping an eye on the lockdown situation and if it looks like a stricter lockdown is happening I'll book a private scan x

I hope you are all well x

It's me again. I just wanted to let you know that my miscarriage occurred naturally. It started properly yesterday and feels like a bad period so not as bad as last time. I'm taking some time off work to relax and come to terms with it.

Thank you to you all for sharing your stories and for your support it really has helped me.

I wish you all well with your pregnancies

Luckylakes x

@luckylakes I’m so sorry to hear that. Take some time to rest and recover and look after yourself. I hope you will be able to join the group again soon.

So sorry to hear that @luckylakes take care in this tough time and look after yourself.

@luckylakes I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news but ever so relieved that it happened naturally for you. Sending you loads of love and hugs and I hope that you have a really gentle recovery xxx

Hi so glad I found this pg I’m almost 41yrs old, I have a daughter who is going to be 10 this yr,
I found out I was pregnant last yr only to be told at the 12 wk scan that the baby didn’t grow so miscarried on 12th September, well my last period was the 10-01-21 I’m now 17 days late for my February cycle so decided to get a twin ok of the clear blue digital tests, well fort of it came bk pregnant I was elated then for it to show only 1-2 wks which has burst the bubble as I technically should be almost 7 wks so worried that it means another early loss is going to happen, had anyone else had trouble with these tests but everything has been ok any advice would be so much appreciated xx