Over 40 and due 2021

[luckylakes]

Title does what it says on the tin. Have been on Mumsnet for donkeys years but It's the first ever thread I've actually started.

A space for us to share the joy of being geriatric mothers 😊

I'll start. I'm 42 due 21st May 2021 with DC 3 with my new DH. Already have two lovely DC 12 and 8. Had a MC last year at 11 weeks which floored me as I was so naive to the risks of being older.

We had fertility assessments last year and were told we had next to no chance of conceiving naturally - it turns out I was actually pregnant whilst we were there getting the results of tests we'd had a couple of weeks previously!

This pregnancy was totally out of the blue as we got married in July and have been preoccupied and not necessarily trying to get pregnant. My DH is a bit older than me and he is over the moon at the prospect of having a child.

I'm having a private scan on 12th October and we will have a NIPT test at 10 weeks. For now every day I just think wow today I am pregnant and that is enough for me. If it doesn't work out then it was for a reason but I'm so happy to be pregnant and every day the risk of MC reduces and that's enough for me.

What are your stories, hopes and fears?

@luckylakes well that's a great update so far and I'm sure more positive news is on its way this week. Can you take it easy in the meantime?

Thanks @footprintsintheslow. I'm at work all week but wfh most of the time which I find a lot less stressful.

It's been a long day!

Has anyone got anything exciting going on this week?

@kblue1 did you get seen by anyone in the end? I hope the spotting was brief and that all is well x

@luckylakes

Just a quick update - my hcg levels are 1300 which is within the normal range. I need to go back on Tuesday to have another blood test and they will give me a call tomorrow to book in a scan.

So no explanation for the terrible cramps but as good news as I could ask for.

Thank you for caring. Only DH knows in real life and it is lovely to know there is a group of people here in a similar position.

Hope this is a good week for us all x

@luckylakes really pleased to hear that your hcg levels are looking good. Are you still having cramps? Will be keeping everything crossed for you re the scan xx

Just catching up after a long weekend of working and looking after a very demanding toddler!
I'm still feeling absolutely exhausted most of the time and have a low level nausea constantly. Hasn't stopped me eating anything and everything though!
I've booked an early scan for next week when I'll be 9 weeks. Have decided not to book in with midwife till after that as found it very disheartening previously when I've booked in and then consequently miscarried.

I hope that those who were having cramps and spotting are ok, such a worrying time. ( sorry, have never mastered tagging specific people!)
Take care everyone.

@Bringmethechips I did exactly this. My midwife called asking to arrange my booking app at 8 weeks and I refused as my last mc started the day after I had this appointment last time.

She was totally fine with this and happy to wait till week 10.

We went for a scan at 8 weeks instead to check for a heartbeat. I mentioned to the sonographer about my history of scans and no heart beat and the she was able to tell me in seconds that this baby does have a heartbeat. I always appreciated her doing that as you can instantly relax and focus on enjoying seeing your baby

Thought I would come back and update you. I've just had my second blood test results back and the hcg levels are 1137 from 1336 48 hours ago so it looks like the pregnancy hasn't progressed. I'm waiting for the doctor to phone me back to find out what the next steps are.

We are obviously really upset about this as it was such a surprise to be pregnant naturally at the ripe old age of 42.

I hope everything works out for everyone here x

@luckylakes so sorry to hear that your HCG isn’t rising as expected. Is there any chance that things might work out? Will be keeping everything crossed for you.

Oh @luckylakes how terribly sad for you all. Is there any hope at all?

@TheMagicDeckchair @footprintsintheslow thank you.

The doctor has just phoned. It's very likely it's bad news as the levels are meant to double in that time. I need to go for the scan on Thursday to see where it is - this will decide what they do - surgery, medication or wait. I can't wait any longer- the cramps are terrible and its too upsetting. I just want it over with. I knew on Friday when this started it wasn't good news so I have been coming to terms with it.

@luckylakes really sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love your way and will be thinking of you on Thursday xx

@luckylakes so sorry to read your update. You sound incredibly strong.

I’m so sorry @luckylakes. Thinking of you.

Massive hugs xxx

@luckylakes really sorry to read this. If there is anything we can do to help let us know. Unfortunately a few of us will have been through this before.

For Thursday it might be an internal scan. Be prepared and they really aren't that bad and they will do everything to help you feel comfortable. They should give you a sheet to cover up with it.

Take care my lovely

@luckylakes sorry to hear things may not be progressing. I remember that feeling so well and it's awful.
I have a scan tomorrow and am expecting to hear the same, as I have no symptoms and that is never good news.
It's so much harder when time is not on our side.

Thank you so much for the lovely comments - I wonder if any of you can answer this. Do you know if you get a choice about what happens - I need this over as quickly as possible as I'll have to put a brave face on in front of my DC. Would the procedure be quicker than medication. Last time it happened naturally for me but i was in bed in a lot of pain for a few days. My daughter still talks about 'that time when you were really ill' and I don't want that to happen again.

I'm at work today but really struggling - I haven't told anyone at work. My boss knows I've got a hospital app tomorrow but I think I want to take some time off sick to sort myself out. Does this sound reasonable- I can't think straight? Would my gp give me a sick note?

@Cleozeta good luck at your scan tomorrow. You read so much about women with no symptoms and everything's is fine x fingers crossed for you

Hi all. I'm a newbie. Im 43 and 14 weeks pregnant with my first and probably only! Im still in shock because I thought I would be too old to conceive. My patner is 28 and is over the moon. Im still getting used to the idea if I'm honest

@luckylakes I've had two miscarriages that didn't happen naturally and both times I was given the choice to either opt for surgical or medical management. I was also given the choice of when to proceed. The first time, I decided to wait a few weeks as I wanted to give my body the chance to miscarry by itself. When this didn't happen, I chose surgical management. The second time, I opted for the surgical management as soon as I found out that I'd had a MMC.

I was extremely nervous about having surgery first time round as I'd never had a general anaesthetic before but honestly it was actually a really positive experience both times (as much as surgery can be!). All the medical staff were wonderful and I felt completely safe and looked after.

I took a week off work sick both times. Not just to recover physically from the op but also to give myself some time to grieve. Your GP would absolutely sign you off I'm sure, even if you needed longer.

I'm more than happy to answer absolutely any questions you have. The first time I went through this, I had a friend who'd just had the same surgery and it really helped me to be able to talk to her about it.

So sorry that you're having to go through this but remember you're not alone. Loads of love xxx

@Cleozeta wishing you loads of luck for the scan tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@Stuntbird huge congratulations and welcome to the group!

@Stuntbird welcome along to the group and congratulations

@luckylakes with my first miscarriage I was recommended by my doctor to have surgery has we were almost at 10 weeks and I think I was relieved as I had heard of some many incomplete miscarriages through medical management.

As with the other poster I was really quite scared about having the general but the doctor who makes you sleep (can't spell) was so lovely and reassuring.

Physical recovery was quick - you are in and out same day. The next day I felt utter relief it was over. Day after I felt so low after I assume all my happy pregnancy hormones were gone.

@welshladywhois40 @Bea11

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. I had a little cry when I read them.

I don't want to take over the thread with doom and gloom so that's enough of miscarriage talk. Hopefully I will rejoin if we manage to get pregnant again soon - haven't broached the subject with DH yet so not sure if he agrees with me or not!

I hope you can continue to support each other and I wish you all uneventful healthy and happy pregnancies x

@luckylakes take care and let's hope you're back here really soon. Lots of love xx