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No Baby Shower thanks!

55 replies

kidsareok · 27/07/2020 11:55

Hi! Just wondering if there's anyone out there the same as me!! I'll start by saying - I have nothing against baby showers, I've been to a few and they were very pleasant. However, I do not want one at all! People keep asking me about it and I've categorically said no - my partner doesn't understand (he's very much one of these people who likes to do what other people do 🙄) but I'm just not up for it. I've never liked being the centre of attention, I don't like the idea of mixing families and friends in one room (I have some judgemental family members and also, dare I say it, some bratty children in my in laws family who will be judged 🙄), I don't like forced fun so the games and stuff will just be a bit cringe and I don't want everyone to feel like they have to get me stuff. I also have strong views on 'pink for girls/blue for boys' and I just don't want any kind of stereotypical gender reveal or baby shower banter. I also think sitting in a room talking about baby related things is a bit boring 🙈. I'm looking forward to having my little one but I am also really adamant that I retain my own interests and personality - and for me baby showers just seems a bit too 'Mumsy'. Do I sound selfish? I don't mean to - for me it would be a situation where I spent the whole time wishing it was over! I would much rather see people when the baby is born and then go out for some cocktails with my mates after the baby arrives!

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 27/07/2020 11:58

How could it possibly be selfish?

Darkstar4855 · 27/07/2020 11:58

It’s not selfish. Lots of people don’t have them. I didn’t.

Mc3209 · 27/07/2020 12:00

I am the same. Definitely no baby shower for me. Thankfully DH feels the same.

kidsareok · 27/07/2020 12:01

I just feel like it could be selfish as lots of people keep asking me and saying they'd love to arrange one. Family members who are excited want to be part of it - and it's just not my cup of tea! I'm aware this child will be part of their family too though so I feel a bit selfish!

OP posts:
Twizbe · 27/07/2020 12:02

I didn't have one. I don't like them.

For one they are an American thing that has come over here just for insta glory posts. No need to have one.

Second, I think they are a bit 'counting your chickens'. I wanted to wait until baby was safely here and then celebrate them.

I also didn't know what I was having both times so I avoided the really cringe gender reveal or over the top pink / blue.

I've been to 3 and can't say I loved them. I'm also never sure if you give a present at them if you also send something when baby is born

sel2223 · 27/07/2020 12:04

Each to their own.
I never wanted one (so am thankful to covid for having the perfect excuse not to have one) but i have nothing against other people having them.
I've been to some really, lovely baby showers it's just not something I wanted to have myself.

anonymum95 · 27/07/2020 12:07

Not selfish at all. I was adamant I didn't want one but my mum desperately wanted to host one for me so I agreed to a small thing in her house with family only. It was nice but I'd have quite as happily just seen everyone after the birth and they could've brought gifts then if they wanted to give anything.

WhatWouldPennyDo · 27/07/2020 12:10

I’d hate to have one, for a variety of reasons.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 27/07/2020 12:10

I never had one for any of my pregnancies. People will really push you on it but that's their problem, not yours.

All you need to say is "it's not my sort of thing"

Helbelle17 · 27/07/2020 12:12

I didn't have one for either of mine. Like you, I don't like being the centre of attention and I wanted baby to be safely here before we celebrated. DD2 was born in lockdown anyway, so it wasn't really an option this time.
My colleagues tried to do a surprise baby shower for me for DD1, but I unexpectedly had to go on mat leave early. I can't say I was disappointed to have missed it.
What has been very lovely this time, is the gifts and cards that people have posted to us to let us know they're thinking of us. And even better - those who've left cake on the doorstep!

mintich · 27/07/2020 12:12

I had one with a small group of friends who insisted, but it was really just a lunch out which suited me down to the ground.
I didnt want one with every female I know playing games that I really wouldn't have wanted to play!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/07/2020 12:15

I didn’t want one, my husband wanted an excuse to throw a get together in summer as we had an August baby. In the end it was a bbq with his friends, my friends, no gift list, no games, no baby decorations- and rather a nice chance to catch up with everyone.... that was ok by me.
Pregnant with my second due in autumn and no way am I throwing anything.

Poppyismyfavourite · 27/07/2020 12:23

I don't like them either - feels very American and a bit grabby, and to me it seems like tempting fate to celebrate the baby before it's arrived safely.

When my boss had a baby a few years ago, we had a "farewell lunch" for her went she went on maternity leave - that was quite nice, as we obviously didn't see her much for a while.

scotgal99 · 27/07/2020 12:24

Not a fan of baby showers & I don’t want one myself.
Having attended many over the past few years you end up buying a gift & then feeling obliged to buy another gift when you go to see the baby as you don’t want to appear rude. I wouldn’t want to put anyone in this position!

kidsareok · 27/07/2020 12:30

Thanks for the replies ladies! Good to know I'm not alone! Each to their own though obviously 😊

OP posts:
PinkPlantCase · 27/07/2020 12:30

I won’t be having one (when we finally conceive 😂). I don’t want people to have to buy us stuff and it’s all too Americanised really. Might make sure I see a few friends separately but only like how we normally do every few months.

I’m more open to it he idea of a ‘Sip and See’ I think that’s quite sweet when you have a day where friends and family can pop in and say hello to the new arrival once you feel up to it. Though can’t imagine there’s too many of those going on in the time of Corona!

Newbiehere123 · 27/07/2020 12:34

I didn't have one and it's not selfish if you don't want it, I think it's American. The gender reveal party became popular at the same time I was about to find out the gender of my dc but I didn't go ahead with it. Just because people do, doesn't mean you also have to do it. Also I feel the same about you for not wanting to mix family and friends in the same room.

Babyshine2020 · 27/07/2020 12:36

I can't stand them. The bitter sweet thing about being in my second and third trimester during covid is I've completely dodged that bullet. I'm due next weekend so there no time now!

Again, like you, my husband would want one because everybody else has them, but I hate being the centre of attention and making everybody feel obliged.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 27/07/2020 12:42

My mum and sister organised one for me with DD1 and my mum has mentioned wanting to do one for me for DD2. I’m not massively fussed about having one and would hate for everyone to feel obliged to buy me presents. I would rather just have a gathering of my friends and family just because. I don’t want to do that after DD is born though as I hate the whole passing the baby around thing, especially in the current pandemic.

Phiphi123 · 27/07/2020 12:50

I’ve never wanted one either but friends and family acting like I am very ungrateful!! I will see/celebrate with everyone I see fit and have/will buy everything I need for the baby myself. I probably do sound ungrateful now but I probably won’t like the stuff other people buy me anyway and it will just be a waste. Hoping I can use 3rd trimester social distancing as my excuse lol

Bearcub01 · 27/07/2020 12:58

I definitely don’t want one. Would maybe have a small lunch with my mum, sisters and MIL. I don’t have a big group of friends here anyway, most live abroad now and we don’t keep in touch as often so should hopefully get away with it.
I don’t plan on finding out the gender either so will avoid the gender reveals.

needsomeadviceprettyplease · 27/07/2020 13:09

Baby showers weren't really a 'thing' when I had my dc, I think its an American thing and have no interest in attending any (of the many) I have been invited to.

Wolfgirrl · 27/07/2020 13:12

I said the same as you OP but caved. I actually really enjoyed it. It was lovely to see all my friends before I popped, some of them hadn't seen me heavily pregnant so it was nice to see them in my final days as a child free woman!

I'm not a selfie type and they took some lovely photos of me & bump, looking back I have very few so I'm grateful for them now.

Not to mention they were very generous and bought the baby some lovely gifts.

I know it is a bit American but really it's just a nice girly get together before the sleepless night onslaught. You probably wont be as up for early visitors as you think.

boymomma · 27/07/2020 13:18

I'm going through this at the moment. I love attending my friends baby showers but I don't like them for myself. I didn't have one for my first but my partners mum really wants me to have one for this baby and I feel bad saying no. Although I'm dreading it, I've put on so much weight and feel really drained the thought of having pictures taken of me is like hell on earth at the moment 🤣

OverTheRainbow88 · 27/07/2020 13:20

It’s not selfish to not want a baby shower!

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