I'm going to discharge myself after c-section, can I be stopped?

[SingingWren]

I'm having a c-section on Tuesday, I've been informed by a midwife that my partner will have to leave straight after the c-section. I was tested for Covid19 at their request, so why not test birthing partners too, surely if both test negative, there is no risk on the wards?

My c-section is at 9am, once catheter is out and I'm confident baby and I are fine, I plan on discharging us both and going home to be with partner, where I will undoubtedly get more rest, more help and be far more comfortable.

This may be very late at night obviously, so I'm wondering if they can actually stop me? Surely they can't keep me there if I demand to be let home? Has anyone done this?

Sounds irrational, but I've had two friends give birth at the same hospital in the last month. Both had horrific experiences, short staffed, buzzers ignored etc, both really struggled. Any advice appreciated.

The hospital I gave birth in has a 24 hour discharge policy after caesariana (obviously assuming you are given the all clear). They say recovery is better at home. I was in only overnight (and I gave birth late in the evening), and argued to go home when I probably shouldn't have done because I was anaemic (I'd been anaemic after my first baby and knew what to expect). But I wouldn't have discharged myself and the baby until they'd had all their checks, and I don't think that was until the following day.

Complete sympathy OP. I had about 45 mins sleep in the 5 days I was in ( 2 days labour and 3 days recovery) It was horrendous, the staff were completely overstretched so I had no help.
The OP has said she would have baby checks first, I would have recovered much better at home , where I actually could have rested and had someone to help me with the baby.

I understand that I may be coming across as dramatic or selfish, I really do. But I would not do anything to endanger my baby.
I'm in an area where the hospital I shall be giving birth in has come under great scrutiny in the press lately regarding postnatal care.
It's extremely worrying, and I honestly feel I would recover better at home, where I can get the help I need from partner.

I'm also gutted that partner cannot spend any time at all with us afterwards, it makes no sense whatsoever.

I understand your dilemma OP and it must be very distressing to think you’ll be alone without adequate assistance.

What I will say is that discharging against medical advice (which usually would be the case if you discharge before being reviewed by a doctor, usually the morning after your op. Many units also have a 24 hour policy for operative deliveries) is that it will cause a lot of extra ‘sorting out’ and paperwork which will cause delays in care and discharges for other women who are in exactly the same position as you. You may also have to come back to the hospital for your baby’s NIPE examination as these need to be done by a trained doctor/midwife/ANNP and they will have an order of priority to do them in. Some community and Homebirth midwives are able to do them, but I doubt they will roll out the red carpet for you if their service is as stretched as you say, and you have caused issues already!

Does your hospital have a continuity of care pathway for elective Caesarian women? Either ask in advance to speak to the team leader of that team, or the postnatal ward manager in advance so that a care plan can be made for you in terms of a personalised enhanced recovery pathway and early discharge. Usually if given notice, it’s reasonably easy to sort things like this out if everything is okay. If you suddenly turn around 6 hours post Caesarian and spring it on them what you want to go home, it will cause a headache for everyone and probably won’t get sorted all that quickly.

@SingingWren depending how far away it is, lots of trusts seem to be loosening restrictions now, it might be different by then. Even if not please be careful, it is fairly uncommon but there can be complications for both you and baby that won't neccessarily be spotted early enough by someone non medical. They don't keep you in any longer than they have to at the moment, but I do empathise as maternity care is always pretty dire, let alone at the moment. But don't push your body just with a view to getting out quicker, it can have lasting health implications.

@SingingWren are you able to meet your partner in the reception foyer or outside? This is what I am pinning my hopes on if covid is still around in October. I would honestly pack like you're going on holiday with as much stuff as possible to make you comfy and make your stay as enjoyable as you can. Aim for a quick discharge but if something does go wrong or there is some complications and you're not able to leave you're well prepared. Honestly I get it, my first was an EMCS after 32 hours and I was put on a bed with a mattress too big so it caved in in the middle (I still to this day can't believe I didn't say something) which was great after abdominal surgery! They sent partner home at 8pm as per standard policy but at this point I was still hooked up to a pressure cuff and an IV so had I needed to pick up my son I couldn't have. My partner buzzed and nobody came for 20 minutes and their first response wasn't to see why we were buzzing but to tell my partner off for still being there... I had no dinner after having the baby at 3pm. I believe there may well have been a communal area with tea coffee and cereal etc but nobody told me about it?

I've had my mum tell me I should "enjoy" the quiet time in hospital, she, like other people on here commenting about it only being a short time and why would you be stressed etc, don't have a clue 🤦‍♀️

But I definitely would say pack just in case, for the sake of you needing medically to stay in x

@SingingWren can you find out whether one of your GPs could do the newborn check for you, so you know what your options are? My children were born at home and so were all checked by one of our GPs, who specialises in them. So I didn’t need to go to the hospital.

My friends partner was also
Tested for covid prior to section and was negative yet still wasn’t allowed to stay.

It's hard for some who had adequate postnatal care to imagine just how bad some units really are .

I've discharged myself against medical advice for things other than a CS. It's not a prison.

@SingingWren have you read the Adam Kay book “This Is Going To Hurt?”

@SingingWren, from the wording of your posts ('they', 'keep') I am sensing that you have set up in your mind an antagonistic binary featuring you vs. the hospital staff, pitted against each other, with the hospital in your mental narrative not looking out for your best interests.

I don't mean this to be hurtful or patronising in any way, but are you experiencing more anxiety than normal right now?

@mathanxiety I think your reply is unfortunately quite patronising. It’s a really difficult time to be giving birth. A lot of women face limited time with their partner at the birth and afterwards. Some don’t see their partner after that until they are collected to go home! If medical staff are stretched and as we all know, some have a better bedside manner than others, it isn’t great circumstances if the partner can’t be there to help either. I think it’s perfectly understandable to be daunted by this. Is it not ok to feel vulnerable in these circumstances?

I’ve got a section booked next week and circumstances are really hard. It’s still debatable as to how much time my husband will be able to spend with baby and I. From the many accounts of people’s experiences of c-sections during this pandemic, they are great but help post-surgery can be a bit limited if staff are short in numbers. It isn’t anybody’s fault but if on top of that you are away from your partner for several days that isn’t optimal is it? It is possible that ringing the bell will take a while to get a response or that pain relief post surgery will be delayed. I think it’s understandable for someone to want to leave hospital as soon as it’s safe and possible to do so during this pandemic. Having said that I’m totally expecting to be in overnight and I think that’s sensible just so I know that my wound is safe and baby is doing well.

@PoodlesAreMySpiritAnimal You worded that wonderfully, thank you.

@mathanxiety Yes of course I'm anxious? Beyond any anxiety I've felt before.

@DisobedientHamster

As for a morphine drip, have yet to hear of anyone in the UK having one after a CS in a postnatal ward. Have known many who had to beg for stronger pain relief than paracetamol, however .

I had a morphine drip after my second, I’ve got a chronic pain condition though, and my consultant said it would be needed. They had to get theatre staff to put it up and top it up though, and left it to run out for hours, twice.

Urgh. Even as a midwife I struggled to get discharged the following day to my c-section 🙄
In theory you can discharge yourself, but until the checks are done for baby you're staying put. It's not right, but this is what I see / have experienced (I didn't have the baby at the hospital where I worked, which in hindsight was a mistake!)
I stayed relatively calm until the bounty stalker showed up, at which point I lost my patience.

@SingingWren, the advice I have for you is that you talk this over with your midwife/HCP and ask if she or he can give you any reassurance or practical treatment to assuage your anxiety, or advice about early discharge.

Anxiety that is beyond the usual level is a medical problem that can be treated.

@mathanxiety That would be great except I've never seen the same midwife twice and was never contacted by the perinatal mental health team as arranged.

I'm anxious because my partner is going to be made to leave straight after birth and I'm going to be stuck in a notoriously crap hospital in the middle of a pandemic.

I just want to get baby out safely and go home. That's the only remedy for the anxiety I'm currently experiencing.

@BrennieGirl

I think you're underestimating what a major operation a c section is.

^ This

I was desperate not to stay in hospital after my first. I gave birth at 6am and made it clear I wanted to go home that day. I was advised not to but they discharged us that afternoon.

I was back in at 11am the following morning with a complication (with me not baby) that hadn’t been obvious when l I left. When I had my second I followed medical advice rather than thinking I knew best!

I would try to contact the perinatal MH team yourself, if they haven't contacted you.

@DisobedientHamster

It's hard for some who had adequate postnatal care to imagine just how bad some units really are .

Agreed, with my first a bitch of a midwife technically assaulted me. She also refused to help me get baby to latch to feed. She told me to express instead and handed me a little pot. I told her I didn’t know how to, her response was “with your hand” then she just walked off. They didn’t pick up DC had jaundice, the community midwife spotted it, and we were sent straight to the children’s ward for days of light therapy. With DC2 it was barely any better, and that was in a different hospital. It’s an absolute disgrace that women are so often treated appallingly by maternity services. It also means lots of midwives leave the profession because they can’t offer women adequate care due to inadequate staffing levels.

I find it so interesting reading other peoples experiences of a C section! I had an emergency C section after a failed induction and was practically booted out of the hospital after 24hrs (first time mum!). I think I was told I could stay if I wanted to, but I could not wait to get home where I knew I would actually have round the clock help from my DH. All this talk of having to bath baby before being able to leave, getting help walking and morphine drips couldn't be further from my experience. I was given pain killers when they put me back on the ward and that was the only time I received any. I lost over 2 pints of blood in theatre which my community midwife was pretty concerned about and surprised they discharged me so soon, apparently my iron levels were severely low. I haf my c section very late in the evening after being in hospital almost a week, I was absolutely exhausted and my DH was sent home after about an hour when I got moved to the ward (no partners on the ward after 10pm). The first real feed I did after birth (she successfully latched whilst I was being stitched back up) my baby was put on my chest and I was left to it. I kept falling asleep and was absolutely terrified I was going to drop her so buzzed for help to be told I would be fine and left on my own again. I have no idea how I got through the first few hours before DH was allowed back on to the ward. So I totally get why OP wants to be at home asap where she knows she has all the support she needs! Whilst I could not fault any of the midwives who I met personally, it was clear they were so stretched that they just couldn't offer the care that I needed, and that was pre covid!

I honestly don't blame you. Post natal wards are hell and I can't believe they want to send ur partner home right after 😕 they don't have enough staff to help you look after the baby.

I've had 2 sections both emergency. The first one I was in 5 days it was torture. This time round I still had some problems and when they told me I wld have to stay another night or 2 after the first I burst out crying and refused. I ended up going home with a catheter in 🙈 didn't get home till very late and I was in absolute agony but in my own house, own bed etc was worth it.

You should maybe speak to tour midwife about it. She will have an idea on if that is possible. It's usually at least 1 night for c section. Maybe if you tell them they can arrange for things to be done quicker like the hearing test for baby. You will have to be very pushy about getting up on ur feet too. My second one was born at 11am. I kept asking to get the catheter out and it was 10/11pm before they took it out. Long story short but they overfilled my bladder all through the night trying to get me to pee and damaged it which is why I went home with it still in.

If you do still need a catheter in, they can give a leg bag to go home in. Not the nicest thing ever but means U get home quick. You need to go bk in to hospital after few days to get it out but I was in for about 4/5hrs just to make sure I was going ok and they scanned my bladder to make sure no lasting damage

I totally understand exactly where you’re coming from. I’m going to be in the same situation very soon.

I’ve had two c sections. First one, like you was up and mobile wishing 4-5 hrs and feeling great (as great as you can after a c section). I was at home and watching tv within 18 hrs. This was not at my request, in fact I was surprised to be discharged as I’d thought I’d be in for 3/4 days. I have to say I wasn’t checked over but the dr did check the baby at which point he surprised me by saying so if you want to you can both go home. I asked if he was sure as at this stage it was only about 15 hrs post birth.

I was so happy to be at home and delighted to have help and be in my own space.

I had lots of comments like you were mad to leave, you must of begged them, are you sure baby is ok, did you do the right thing etc. It really irritated me as it implied that I had not listened to medical advice and decided to up and leave of my own accord.
Almost like I’d put my baby at risk, this was never the case as I’m certain no mother would ever decide to knowingly risk the health of the baby or herself so you’ll get lots of unhelpful comments.

With DC2 I planned the same, I especially wanted to get back to DC1 and assumed my recovery would follow the same path as I’d know what to expect so it’d be even better.

After my second c section I was rather stupidly shocked that it was an entirely different experience. I assumed I’d be similar in terms of pain and recovery. I was just about able to move after 18 hrs let alone contemplate going home. After 2 nights they forced me home even though I was beyond missing DC1, I didn’t feel ready to leave hospital.

I was only home one night and back in I went, turned out I had pneumonia.

After my rambling (sorry about that😂), my point is you’ll know if you’re ready to go home. I knew I felt ok first time around and second time around I knew I wasn’t ok to leave, even though they made me anyway.

Trust yourself, you will know but just be aware you may know you need an extra night or two there and that’s ok. I wish I’d considered the possibility I’d even want to stay in. Best of luck.