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Original poster

I'm going to discharge myself after c-section, can I be stopped?

231 replies

SingingWren · 17/07/2020 21:31

I'm having a c-section on Tuesday, I've been informed by a midwife that my partner will have to leave straight after the c-section. I was tested for Covid19 at their request, so why not test birthing partners too, surely if both test negative, there is no risk on the wards?

My c-section is at 9am, once catheter is out and I'm confident baby and I are fine, I plan on discharging us both and going home to be with partner, where I will undoubtedly get more rest, more help and be far more comfortable.

This may be very late at night obviously, so I'm wondering if they can actually stop me? Surely they can't keep me there if I demand to be let home? Has anyone done this?

Sounds irrational, but I've had two friends give birth at the same hospital in the last month. Both had horrific experiences, short staffed, buzzers ignored etc, both really struggled. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

Pixxie7 · 18/07/2020 00:33

They aren’t going to keep you in longer than necessary, I don’t think you have thought this through.

ChipsyChopsy · 18/07/2020 00:41

I overheard a woman ask a midwife to discharge her the day her section. She sent a doctor to see her who told her if she had had an incision of that length to any other part of her body, she'd be in for a week. That people who have keyhole surgery are in for three days. They really take it to the wire discharging in 48 hours. The day after a c section feels like you'll never have an upright posture again, physically I'm not sure I could have walked to the car.

Babyvibe · 18/07/2020 00:44

I completely understand wanting to leave straight away but they are unlikely to keep you long anyway. I had csection in April on my own, partner only allowed for a few hours during the operation then had to leave. It's terrifying for a first baby. However they only kept me 22hr after surgery then discharged me. I had enough time to sleep, eat, have catheter taken out, try to walk around a bit then I was gone. You really won't want to leave any earlier anyway, being that fresh from major abdominal surgery is painful. I slept sat up on the sofa for a week after as I couldn't lay flat on my bed, would have preferred a hospital bed that you can prop yourself up a bit to sleep.

Original poster

SingingWren · 18/07/2020 00:47

I really appreciate the replies, I obviously would not leave and take baby before checks etc, but I am also not staying if there is no reason to. At the start of my pregnancy I was told partner is welcome to stay overnight with me and baby, this was a huge reassurance. Now he's not allowed with us other than in theatre.
It's ridiculous. I'm not spending 24 hours stressed, anxious, ignored and upset, when I could be recovering at home with partner there to help me and baby.

OP posts:

Babyvibe · 18/07/2020 00:53

I should add I was trying to be induced for 6 days before as well on my own so was absolutely desperate to leave but the time really does fly afterwards when you're busy with the baby and the midwifes are checking and doing things with you. As long as there is a doctor there to check over you and baby they will let you leave. At the minute they're really not keeping people any longer than they absolutely have to.

Nat6999 · 18/07/2020 01:03

If anything goes wrong you will have to stay in, I had an emcs after a failed induction, had a big pph & was in high dependency for 48 hours & then moved to post natal ward, I discharged myself 48 hours later, 4 nights after my emcs. I felt like I had been hit by a bus, I used what energy I had trying to walk like nothing was wrong to the car.

Lonelylockdown22 · 18/07/2020 02:47

Sorry but you're acting and speaking as if you know better than medical professionals with years of highly specialised training. If you do discharge yourself, please don't make more work and things harder for these people. And bear in mind what NHS workers have been through this year.

Hiddenmnetter · 18/07/2020 04:54

Lol. Hospitals are not prisons. You and your baby can leave at any time, against medical advice. You may struggle to leave a day after, but that is on you. The hospital has ZERO right to detain you, or your baby. They would require the police to do that. And they won't get the police to do that unless you appear to be very severely mentally unwell (or otherwise manifestly unable to care for the child), because then social services have another baby to look after. The baby is still your baby, it's not the state's. The madness in this country that people genuinely think the hospital can separate a mother and child for wanting to go home. Like what the fuck...

Our story was slightly different, that after 5 days in hospital we got so sick of waiting to be discharged we said right, that's it, we're going. Either discharge us, it we leave now, and started packing our bits m. Funnily enough a Dr was found sharpish and we were discharged within the hour. But the basic reality remains the same- your baby and your life is not the hospitals to determine. You want out? You get up and go. Might be tough post surgery, but that's on you.

Isthisfinallyit · 18/07/2020 05:07

It's ridiculous. I'm not spending 24 hours stressed, anxious, ignored and upset, when I could be recovering at home with partner there to help me and baby.

It sounds like your concern is that you and the baby won't be cared for good enough for a good start. I get it, I do (pregnant here and am a bit concerned too) but can you keep an open mind, try it out and if they do ignore you or the baby call your DH to fetch you? The care could also be good, we don't know that yet.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 05:28

Really depends on when you have the CS and recovery. Some people bounce back from anaesthetics quickly. They just do.

JellyTipisthebest · 18/07/2020 05:55

I had 2 c sections both different. you really cant tell how you will feel. i had mine in the uk but not sure what the situation is their now. Both of mine were booked for 9am one i didn't have until 12.30am. The other was better at 5.30 pm. the second one was the easiest in some ways although i was in no rush to get home i came out sooner than i had with my first.
I would make sure your baby has had the hearing check as that's a pain to get done as out patient even in non covid times. In hospital they can do one ear and then come back and do the next ear.
Make sure you can diffidently manage on the pain meds at home.
do you have a downstairs loo, or will you just stay upstairs for a few days.
make sure the baby is feeding well. getting help when you have gone will be harder. in the whole 24 hrs /maybe 36 without your partner will be worth it

RenegadeMrs · 18/07/2020 06:00

I had a planned c section 2 weeks ago. I was out the next day. If everything is fine I think they will want discharge you ASAP, but be prepared for one night.

Also, ve prepared that there is a good chance you might be hanging around in hospital for a few hours even if you have been given a time. I had to be in the hospital for 8am but section didn't happen until midday. If there is an emergency it might even be later.

Savingshoes · 18/07/2020 06:28

You can self discharge.
You can take your baby home when you decide.
No doctor can dictate/force you to keep a baby in the hospital, they can only advise what's best and why.
Unless you lack capacity but they would have to do several assessments to confirm this.
Twoc and leave. Your friends sound like they would have had more help at home too.
Contact aims and birth rights for more information.

Savingshoes · 18/07/2020 06:34

Also, you don't have to have a catheter. If you think it's going to slow down your healing process then talk to the team doing the surgery and say you won't be having one. They'll discuss options with you.

Crackerofdoom · 18/07/2020 06:37

I have had vaginal birth and c-section and AFAIK the newborn checks are the same for both. Why would it take 24 hours for a csec baby when vbac babies are often discharged within a few hours?

I would advise talking to the hospital as soon as you get there. They may assume you are staying in for at least 1 night so the process will not move as fast.

I totally know that desperate feeling to get iut but trying to frame it more positively in your mind may help.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 06:40

As for a morphine drip, have yet to hear of anyone in the UK having one after a CS in a postnatal ward. Have known many who had to beg for stronger pain relief than paracetamol, however .

Louise0701 · 18/07/2020 06:41

Why would you spend 24 hours anxious stressed and ignored? Sorry but I think you’re completely underestimating the operation and sounds like youre being irrational just because your partner can’t stay overnight. If you’ve had a c section before, won’t your partner be at home with your other child?
I’ve never had my partner stay overnight with me on any of my 3 c sections? My city hospital doesn’t allow it. I’ve never seen any issue with that, ever? Its time to establish breast feeding, bond with baby, have your first shower, have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes.
None of my 3 DC have had their newborn check until the day after the c section either

ThickFast · 18/07/2020 06:42

It’s not always obvious if there’s something wrong with baby straight away. My baby was born and then got breathing difficulties and ended up in NICU for 3 days on cpap. The breathing difficulties only started about 9 hours later. It was not something I would have noticed. It was to do with how fast she was breathing, think they count the breaths per minute. Apparently it’s quite common for issues to have a delayed start and not straight away.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 06:49

@Louise0701

Why would you spend 24 hours anxious stressed and ignored? Sorry but I think you’re completely underestimating the operation and sounds like youre being irrational just because your partner can’t stay overnight. If you’ve had a c section before, won’t your partner be at home with your other child? I’ve never had my partner stay overnight with me on any of my 3 c sections? My city hospital doesn’t allow it. I’ve never seen any issue with that, ever? Its time to establish breast feeding, bond with baby, have your first shower, have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes. None of my 3 DC have had their newborn check until the day after the c section either

It's an unfortunate fact that some postnatal wards in the UK are so wretched you really are better off at home. Some are little more than holding pens with beds in them, no help from the staff at all or much concern for the babies, either.

Hiddenmnetter · 18/07/2020 06:56

have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes.

Lol @ that fantasy

Extracurricularfatigue · 18/07/2020 06:58

This thread really shows the worst of MN. A Supervisor of Midwives, who really does know this stuff, (and yes, never trust that someone is who they say they are but as they’re saying stuff that’s true let’s go with it) has expressed zero shock and horror at the idea of wanting to be out quickly, and explained that no one is going to call social services. They have explained that newborn checks could be done after discharge. And yet people continue to post abuse at OP about selfish and dangerous behaviour.

My local hospital routinely discharges C section patients after 24 hours if no concerns. Women who go home straight from labour room or have home births get newborn checks later on as a matter of course. Now I don’t know how Covid is affecting community services and the ease of getting an outpatient appointment/home visit, but the OP’s hospital will.

For what it’s worth @SingingWren, see how it goes. Discuss it beforehand, and if you feel as mobile as last time, it may be entirely possible to go home. I share your fear of post natal wards and was able to avoid them, but I have heard that they are more peaceful than normal because of visitor restrictions.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 07:01

@Hiddenmnetter

have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes.

Lol @ that fantasy

Yeah, right up there with the morphine drips one.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 07:03

A street vendor has more compassion for a person's pain than some of the so-called staff I've encountered the 3 times I gave birth.

youhave4substitutes · 18/07/2020 07:03

"It's ridiculous. I'm not spending 24 hours stressed, anxious, ignored and upset, when I could be recovering at home with partner there to help me and baby."

You're working yourself up over something that hasn't happened yet too much drama.

Why would you be stressed and upset? To the point you are going to leave the hospital after surgery in the middle of the night? Just relax, go to sleep and leave in the morning when they've had time to check the baby over properly.

DisobedientHamster · 18/07/2020 07:06

For some people? Because they're in a ward which is vastly underfunded to the point where the whole relax and actually being able to sleep won't happen, not to mention you're in an open ward next to your newborn baby who, along with the other babies, more or not go to sleep. Is it that hard to imagine? Some of the other patients also stay up all night blaring tellies or screeching into their phones, the staff doing nothing to stop this behaviour, making it impossible for others to 'relax and go to sleep'.

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