I'm going to discharge myself after c-section, can I be stopped?

[SingingWren]

I'm having a c-section on Tuesday, I've been informed by a midwife that my partner will have to leave straight after the c-section. I was tested for Covid19 at their request, so why not test birthing partners too, surely if both test negative, there is no risk on the wards?

My c-section is at 9am, once catheter is out and I'm confident baby and I are fine, I plan on discharging us both and going home to be with partner, where I will undoubtedly get more rest, more help and be far more comfortable.

This may be very late at night obviously, so I'm wondering if they can actually stop me? Surely they can't keep me there if I demand to be let home? Has anyone done this?

Sounds irrational, but I've had two friends give birth at the same hospital in the last month. Both had horrific experiences, short staffed, buzzers ignored etc, both really struggled. Any advice appreciated.

@Hiddenmnetter

have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes.

Lol @ that fantasy

I had this after all 3 of my c sections and my DS and friends who’ve had c sections also did.

Have you had a section before? You need injections to take home with you, have to self inject every day for at least 10 days, you may be waiting some time to receive this. I would expect to self discharge the day after a section, have your first bowel movement, make it clear early on you want to leave so the staff can get everything organised for you. This is if your section is straight forward. I understand why, wards are not a great place for rest!

@Hiddenmnetter

have a little walk about the ward with help of the midwifes.

Lol @ that fantasy

I walk every Day 1 post section Woman to the toilet When she goes for the first time. I offer them my arm to hold. I carry any wash stuff or pads they want taking. I wait outside the toilet for them and walk them back.

Some places do provide good care.

I may be wrong, but I did things the second time that in my mind would speed up discharge. So things like making sure catheter out, get cannula taken out, push for doctor to see you, get walking, pack bags. I did everything to be ready to walk out. I was in a lot more pain though and had a morphine shot which delayed catheter removal etc which I couldnt help, but I didnt spend any longer there than necessary. It's grim in there. Having to walk to get your own meals, bowls of other people's wee in the loos, blood, nurses storming in at 3am and getting my boobs out to feed. The first time nobody took my catheter out and the bag burst all over the floor and my belongings, nobody showered me (I'd been in labour for days). The care is shit.

I didn't walk safely till about 8 hours after my c-sections. Stayed in two days each time, both babies were fine from birth.
I could have safely gone home a day and a half in, both deliveries at 8am ish.

You will need the blood thinning injections for a few days. Are you going to ask for them to take with you?

Don't worry if your blood thinning injections are not available when you want to leave. Someone can collect these for you later in the day. Or you can contact your GP for some along with more pain relief.

I can totally understand why you want to do this, but I think you're being selfish and acting in your best interests and disregarding the best interests of your child. Not a great start is it

Also a know someone that had a routine c section. She was fine, happy, talking, baby fine, then a few hours later she went downhill bp dropped taken to icu, rushed to theatre opened her up again as she has a huge internal bleed. If she had gone to sleep at home that night with no monitoring she would have never woken up. In hospital they told her partner to say goodbye.

I've had three c-sections - you would be incredibly stupid to do this - you won't be ready! It's a major operation.

So you want to discharge yourself because you've heard others didn't get their call bells answered. Yet there you are planning to take up potentially a number of senior midwives time whilst they organise your self discharge and all the bloody paperwork that goes with that. You might just get to up and leave but the repercussions take a lot longer for the midwives to sort out.

Why don't you have your operation then just sit in your bed and look after your baby. It's hardly a long time. Maybe that way some other poor mums care won't be neglected!

*I walk every Day 1 post section Woman to the toilet When she goes for the first time. I offer them my arm to hold. I carry any wash stuff or pads they want taking. I wait outside the toilet for them and walk them back.

Some places do provide good care.*

Yes I do too, or ask an MCA to help. Women are encouraged to mobilise once they feel ready to, with our support initially. If a lady chooses to get out of bed without telling us, obviously that’s her choice.

I really don't understand why PP are saying the baby can't be discharged until checks are done.

My second was born in a single unit birthing centre at a community hospital. They wanted me out ASAP so another lady could go in and I was more than happy escape. But it meant that a midwife came round to the house later that morning to do the newborn check.

So OP could take the baby home.

It's also appalling how we've treated pregnant and labouring women during this pandemic for the sake of the sacred Corona patients.

OP I think you just need to see how you feel at the time, but you may have to accept that you won't be in a position to leave.

@PickACoolUserName May be different in different areas but here doctors do the newborn checks, not midwives

Standard mumsnet sweeping generalisations on this thread!

I think the thing to bear in mind is that, generally, you're kept in after a c sec for you, not baby. Baby checks are what community midwives do - otherwise why would the NHS discharge vaginal births quickly, and encourage home births!

Whereas for a c sec you may have complications - whether around the catheter, bleeding, etc. I do think it would be a good idea to try and come to terms with the idea of being in a couple of days, but then if all is well on the day push for earlier. I had a good recovery from my cs - but the actual operation got tricky and the surgeon stated my catheter needed to stay in 24 hours because he was worried about possible bruising/damage to my bladder. I walked fine after that - but I wouldn't have been able to get baby, me and my bags to the car on my own, and at this point would your DH be allowed in the front door out of hours? Most hospitals are discharging ASAP - my local is doing 24 hrs discharge for c sections, whereas they normally aim for 48-72.

you don't need to decide this now. Play it by ear and see how you feel after the operation it is major abdominal surgery and sometimes the second is a longer recovery. Just because your friends didnt have a good experience doesnt mean that will be the case for you op, i can honestly understand why you would want to be at home i was the same but you are better to at least stay one night. Things might not be picked up on straight away.with my eldest they had told me i could go home that day i had even packed my stuff and then one of the midwives noticed she looked jaundice and went to get the doctor who agreed and she ended up having to go in scbu for a few days. With my youngest the doctor didnt want me to leave til i had a bowel movement! They need to make sure you are both ok i get your desire to get home but it would be so much worse if you left and had to rush back in because something was up with you or the baby. Take care hope all goes smoothly for you. You will be home. With your lovely baby before you know it. X

Yes as I mentioned my friend did this and the community midwife was there the next day to do baby’s checks it wasn’t an issue at all they won’t stop you taking you baby

They might strongly discourage it but they won’t stop you.
Maybe see how you feel when you are there

My friend had a secondary haemorrhage after her section. It didn't happen until a few hours later when she was back on the ward. An alert midwife noticed and they sprinted with her back to theatre to stop the bleeding. She lost nearly four litres of blood and had a couple of transfusions.
Because of the monitoring she got she is alive and well today and thinks she had a very positive birthing experience.
I would stay.

Agree - baby will have to be signed off by paediatrician first as delivered by c section. This won't happen the same day. You'll have to stay one night.

Baby does not have to be signed off by a paed. Some hospitals (not all) May do this as routine but it isn’t law and if someone chooses to leave before it’s done they can’t be made to stay. Where I work section babies don’t have any extra checks.....they just have the routine NIPE which can be done as an outpatient. Some GPs even do the NIPE.

My obs consultant said she could have discharged me the day after I had my second child/section. She said she'd rather not though as she didn't want to split up mik and baby - so it's not just about you being discharged - I'd make enquiries about that side first as you don't want to end up discharged but they won't let your baby leave

If it's the thought of the postnatal ward, does the hospital have the option of paying for your own room? I don't know if it's been affected by coronavirus but when I had DC2 I paid to have a single room. It makes the stay much nicer. I chose to only stay one night- the staff didn't mind me leaving at that point, which would have been around 36 hours after my ELCS. All the new baby checks etc had been done.

With DC1 at a different hospital, I also had an ELCS, was given my own room and left after two nights. Both experiences were good.

I understand you wanting to get home ASAP but one night really isn't a long stay OP. It does kind of look a bit dramatic, to be trying to get discharged as soon as you're off the operating table 😂

As an aside, I actually had great recoveries both times, but possibly even more so after my second ELCS. I think I was a bit fitter than the first time, having a toddler to chase around at that point. Also knew what to expect to was probably easier.

Baby checks are what community midwives do - otherwise why would the NHS discharge vaginal births quickly, and encourage home births!

There’s a difference between a baby check and a NIPE. Some midwives do the NIPE check but it’s uncommon (I can do them). Maybe some areas have more of their midwives trained up to do it but it’s quite a tough qualification to get.

I had a big PV bleed at home after being discharged by hospital staff. My DP responded to my call and promptly got me to A&E. If it had happened on the postnatal ward where staff routinely ignored calls because there were too few staff to handle them it would have taken hours before anyone realised there was a problem. On the ward you only had contact with medical staff twice a day. Not their fault, they were just overwhelmed.

That people who have keyhole surgery are in for three days. They really take it to the wire discharging in 48 hours. The day after a c section feels like you'll never have an upright posture again, physically I'm not sure I could have walked to the car.

Dh had keyhole surgery and was discharged into the care of a "responsible" adult within three hours. I was discharged after 24 hours after dc2 was born and walked straight backed to the car.

My consultant also said in her experience if you had an easy recovery after your first section, you'd be likely to have the same with subsequent. Certainly that's my experience. I've still got all the pain killers I was discharged with and dc2 is 2.

Why would you be stressed and upset

I can think of several reasons why the OP might be. My first emcs was very traumatic and then they sent dh home, took ds to NICU and left me distressed for 9 hours with zero updates. I was perfectly capable of walking to NICU but they deliberately let me believe it was a 3/4 of a mile away in the children's hospital on the same complex instead of in the same building. Despite refusing to discharge me, they failed to provide medication (which is how I discovered I didn't need pain relief) or food because being with my son in NICU meant I missed the drug runs and ordering meals. When dh asked, he was told to get me something from the vending machine. It was my first baby and my first hospital stay as an adult. Then they diagnosed postpartum psychosis as "baby blues" and sent me home with a baby I didn't think was mine. To say I was afraid of the same treatment with dc2 would be an understatement. I've never slept in a hospital bed yet, horrible unsafe places.