First Christmas with newborn - what would you do?

[Ritchie30]

I can’t believe it’s July and this is already coming up but here we go 🙈😂...

1st child due 8 weeks before Christmas. Hadn’t even given Christmas a second thought until the last couple of weeks when every lot of family that we have nearby have mentioned in passing that they can’t wait to spend Christmas Day with us and the new baby 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Between DH and I there are 3/4 houses that all want us on the day 😳 None are far away (furthest is 20 minutes) so that’s not an issue. Every house has family who’s 1st grandchild/great grandchild it’ll be.

DH would like us to invite everyone here for Christmas Day so that we don’t have to leave the house 🙈🤣 That’s about 22 people in our house and is just a no-go for me 😂 I suggested us going to each house for an hour during the day as we can then leave and move on and end up back in our own house settled for the night rather than trying to get everyone to leave our house! DH says it’s a terrible idea lol.

What would you do? 🙈

I'm due my second baby on 22nd December this year and we want to have dinner at home, but I've made it very clear to dp that if the baby is on time and is born a few days before Xmas I wont be up to cooking a huge meal and hosting etc so he's promised that he will do it all and let me see to the baby. If I'm still pregnant on Xmas day then I'll happily host but not 2 or 3 days postpartum- no way

@SoloMummy Good, I’m glad you were well enough to be able to do that. It definitely won’t be happening in my house though 😊 I won’t be having myself or my DH catering for 22 while trying to enjoy our first Christmas with our first child 😊

@Teacaketotty 😂 Glad I’m not the only one who thought that was a tad unrealistic 🙈
That many people in my house at any time seems like a nightmare to me so I’m fully with you that I probably wouldn’t want to be doing it with an 11 month old either 😂 if that’s “lazy” then I’m definitely lazy too😂

[quote Ritchie30]@Teacaketotty 😂 Glad I’m not the only one who thought that was a tad unrealistic 🙈
That many people in my house at any time seems like a nightmare to me so I’m fully with you that I probably wouldn’t want to be doing it with an 11 month old either 😂 if that’s “lazy” then I’m definitely lazy too😂[/quote]
Lazy, selfish in outlook I'd say. Especially if you've benefitted from others hosting over the years but don't feel you should reciprocate.

@SoloMummy I’m not even engaging in conversation with you

All I will say is that people like you are the reason mums are so competitive and feel guilty and depressed when they can’t measure up to what other women can do or cope with.

Enjoy your pregnancy and baby when the time comes OP - caring about what’s best for your little family is all that matters, it makes good parents and doesn’t make you selfish

Charlottejade89
Are your potential guests the sit back type or the get up and help sort?

If they are the sit back type - no way would I consider them.
Get up and help type - grab them with both arms.

Same boat a few years ago we invited the Get up and help type round. They enabled DH and DS to visit me and new baby in hospital and made sure Christmas was as normal as possible for DS who was just 5 at the time. I knew they'd make the best of the situation.
I'd hoped to be home for Christmas but it just didn't happen.

@SoloMummy you always seem to show up on threads like these to tell people there is no excuse for struggling with a newborn because you did it all on your own. I don't think hosting is impossible but logically, why doesn't somebody else host? OP and her husband will have something on their plate that could well make it much more stressful - they may not get any sleep the night before and may hate having so many people around and act up all day, this will be the last thing they need. I think it's quite rude to expect to be hosted when they have that consideration and presumably the other 22 people don't. It makes far more sense for somebody else to host.

My baby will be 5 months old on Christmas, we will be staying in the house watching Christmas movies all day, people can visit us if they want

OMG OP I’m laughing at that solomum person, we get it, you’re a single mum eyeroll

Our first baby was born 5 weeks before Christmas. We stayed at home for Christmas, just the three of us. I was knackered and hormonal and still sore from my stitches. I dont even remember it. We had spent Christmas eve with my DHs parents and my parents flew in the day after boxing day for 4 days. My mother cooked and cleaned and generally made life easier. We annoyed a lot of family by refusing to travel and see people, but I chose to be selfish and sane.

We generally have a rule that we dont see any family on Christmas day. It's just us as a family. We are now due DC2 at the start of november this year and will be doing the same. We see family over christmas, but christmas day is for us as a family. Just be aware to make your own traditions and dont spend your time making everyone else happy.

For that many I would personally go for either drop in for tea and cake after you have eaten lunch (assuming you eat at lunch time), you could choose one person for Christmas lunch (saves you cooking) then drop into the other houses over the Christmas period (suggest Christmas Eve to one person, Boxing Day and news years day - 4 meals out, result!) or you could do a buffet lunch Boxing Day and everyone brings food covid permitting (all Covid permitting of course).

No visitors Christmas day.
I'd invite 1 'set' over on Christmas Eve for drinks and nibbles a couple of hours prior to the time you settle for the night.
2nd set I'd invite over for similar on boxing day.
I'd group who I invite obviously to avoid any dramas but I wouldn't drag it out over 3/4 sessions. Combine 'sets'.

DS was 5 weeks last Christmas. We stayed home. Cooked prepared Christmas food and didn't do much. My mum and sister popped in after dinner to say hi, exchange presents and have a cuddle. It was perfect. We're planning on going to mums this year.