First Christmas with newborn - what would you do?

[Ritchie30]

I can’t believe it’s July and this is already coming up but here we go 🙈😂...

1st child due 8 weeks before Christmas. Hadn’t even given Christmas a second thought until the last couple of weeks when every lot of family that we have nearby have mentioned in passing that they can’t wait to spend Christmas Day with us and the new baby 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Between DH and I there are 3/4 houses that all want us on the day 😳 None are far away (furthest is 20 minutes) so that’s not an issue. Every house has family who’s 1st grandchild/great grandchild it’ll be.

DH would like us to invite everyone here for Christmas Day so that we don’t have to leave the house 🙈🤣 That’s about 22 people in our house and is just a no-go for me 😂 I suggested us going to each house for an hour during the day as we can then leave and move on and end up back in our own house settled for the night rather than trying to get everyone to leave our house! DH says it’s a terrible idea lol.

What would you do? 🙈

My youngest was 8 wks old at Christmas, we went to MIL Christmas Eve - she loves entertaining so we were cooked for and chilled whilst they loved having my eldest two there. Other Christmas my eldest was 3 mths - we stayed at home, I found it quite stressful as partner doesn’t cook so was a bit of a mare so the idea of cook and m&s a good one I’d say 😍

I think you just need to pick one place and go there. Definitelt don't host and don't be driving around to different places.

The first Christmas with DD was pretty much a right off between her naps etc, she didnt sleep at all the night before either so we were exhausted. It was all about the second Christmas, really. I wouldn't over hype this one.

Don't invite people round.

Go and see people over "the Christmas period" but not all on the same day - way too much. Newborns don't like being manhandled in and out of car seats all the time and it will be freezing outside.

We had a newborn at Christmas last year (plus 2 older kids) we did my mum in xmas eve and DH family on Christmas Day. If we’d had a 3rd family time see they would have been Boxing Day.

Luckily for me my mum isn’t fussed about Xmas so this routine works for us every year (usually I host on Xmas eve but didn’t feel up to it last year). This year I have said to DH given the amount of time we spend travel on Xmas day with 3 kids I’d prefer we do one family Xmas eve and one Boxing Day but I’m not sure mil will give up having all her grandkids around on Xmas day

Use it as an excuse to stay home all day with lovely food and cuddles.
We did that for our first Xmas as a family and it was amazing. After years of having to run around visiting , we loved it.
Found out that others won't make the effort to visit us on the big day so from then on Xmas day is staying home for us 3 only.
Enjoy it and do what makes you happy.

We have baby number 2 due on 8th December. Baby number 1 was 12 days late so we're expecting this one to be pretty close to Christmas. It's only July but I've already told my family I won't be cooking this year. We're going to my mums and I'm hoping I'll be waited on 😂

Last Christmas our son was 7 days old, we were originally staying home for lunch just the 3 of us, I went food shopping with DP and DS when he was 2 days old for turkey etc. Decided Christmas eve we would go to my dad's and have lunch with them and go to DP's parents for tea. My grandparents eat with my dad and brother on Christmas day so saves us a trip. But deffo wouldn't have coped with that many round our house! Just do what you feel happiest with and don't push yourself. If your breastfeeding you may find yourself feeding for the majority of the day anyway so visiting more than 1 house may be a tad exhausting too!

The relations seem to be Grandparents and great-grandparents. Would the GPs not invite the GGPs round? So it cuts out a couple of visits for you? Ie you visit GP and GGP in one go.

While I hope Christmas 2020 will be business as usual I don't think social distancing will be completely behind us. And over crowded houses should not be encouraged. So keep that in mind in your planning.

I’m due late November, I absolutely won’t be going anywhere on Christmas Day! Not even fussed about dinner. Would most likely get in delicious easy to cook food from M&S and if people want to pop round for an hour that’s fine. You need to put your foot down now.

@Blackbear19 That would definitely be the ideal solution. Unfortunately on one side there are 2 sets of GPs as DHs parents are split and on my side the GPs and GGPs have a tough relationship so they won’t be spending the day together. Another reason that I refuse to have everyone at my house 😂 22 people drama-free sounds horrendous enough but 22 people with family drama is just horrendous lol.

I’ll definitely be rethinking our plan 😊 I love the idea of Christmas at home on our own with some nice easy food and lots of naps and cuddles! Then we’ll fit everyone else in on Xmas eve/Boxing Day/new year etc once we know when other guests are arriving at theirs (siblings travel from a good few hours away and usually just stay one night either Xmas eve or Xmas night). You’ve definitely given me a nice reality check!!

Obviously this is all Covid dependant too! I’m also not convinced that we won’t be in some form of lockdown again by then!

Stay at home. Someone in the family is going to be unhappy whatever you do; there's no reason it should be you! Invite them (virus permitting) either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day for a cup of tea and a slice of Christmas cake.

We had a 6 week old (and a 2.5 year old) one Christmas and we just stayed home in PJs, played with toys, got Christmas dinner from Cook... heaven!! Will be even better with no noisy toys and a 2 year old to entertain 😁 can have a drink too as nowhere to be. Perfect!

I'd buy in a prepared buffet (DH can cook any parts that need cooking) and say please arrive at 12 noon for a 12.15 buffet and the party is over at 2pm. I would do it either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. The don't get alongs can just avoid each other or not visit.
Travelling round sounds the worst option and personally I'd rather get it over with in one go.

Is waiting to decide what to do until December an option that's on the table? That's what we are doing (due date 5 weeks before Christmas) :-)

Another consideration is what do YOU want?

Are any set of parents likely to invite you to their house? Cook you dinner and let you chill for a bit?
I'd seriously consider accepting that offer.

I am currently holding a 6 week baby and reading the part of your OP where you considered inviting everyone to yours actually brought stress tears to my eyes .

Going to 4 different houses would be awful too, you seem to need so much stuff for a newborn and you carry it to each house.

If it were me, I think you should select one house and commit to it. The rest of the families cam deal with it!

My first child was born on 1st December. My mother in law offered to host Christmas Day as I'd have enough to worry about. I was grateful.

Christmas Day rolls round - baby doesn't really sleep until 9am, we'd been up all night. DH phones his mother and asked if we can push back time. His mum says yes. Suggested 2pm.

We leave the house at 4.30pm. Husband drives on autopilot to his work, instead of his parents house! I'm in the back of the car and suddenly ask why we are on the M25! He said 'oh. I'm not sure'.

This baby is due September so I have a little longer to recover!

OMG, hosting 22 with a newborn! Does your DH realise how difficult some newborns can be? You might be stuck on the sofa clusterfeeding.... so there’s no guarantee that everyone would get a decent cuddle, and how in earth would you choose who got one? Likewise madness to go to 4 houses, you might be waking your DC up every time they nodded off, they could be a screaming wreck!

Your child is not a family possession, nor are they a new and exciting toy. There will be plenty more Christmasses! You need to be somewhere that people will support YOU.

FWIW, we’re expecting twins that will be about 8 weeks at Christmas (but adjusted age about 3.5 weeks, they are going to have to come out a bit early because they share a placenta). We’re hoping to be at my parents for Christmas, but they are very supportive, are good with my DD (who will be 4, and will probably be in need of some fuss and attention!) and are close enough that we won’t have to stay overnight. Other relatives we intend to have to visit (separately!) between Christmas and New Year (DH is a teacher, so we get a decent amount of time to spread things over).

Don’t do things to please other people. You might be exhausted, your baby might cry a lot and might well not want to be passed around like a parcel! This is YOUR first Christmas as a family. People need to respect your wishes.

I wish I had your problem. I have no family near me 😢

I would spread it out over Christmas Eve ,Christmas and Boxing Day !!! Christmas morning is very special to me so if that was me I would do that at home .

@Ritchie30
I have to say I hate these threads, where people in effect are sticking their fingers up at their family and the people who love and support them!
I wonder how you'd feel let's say in 25 years when your baby's partner says similarly about you!

Christmas is about family! That should be the tradition.

As it is with covid, this could be a moot point. Something that the children in our extended family are already sad about! Yes we have our own family traditions too, but also extended traditions.

Why couldn't you host? We have a modest home and manage similar numbers for family meals and celebrations.

Or host over the days before and after?

Baby will be 6 to 8 weeks plus so really that's no excuse by that stage !

Is no one considering that Covid 19 may still be an issue? It will be too cold to be in the garden.

@SoloMummy 😂😂 I completely agree that Christmas is all about family. Hence why I am going out of my way to try and make sure everyone is happy 🙄
Unfortunately I don’t come from a “perfect family” (if there even is such a thing). There are family members who really do not get along and have no contact for various reasons and there are lots of very strained relationships. I know they would not put aside differences for a peaceful Christmas in our home which is why I do not see it as an option having everyone round to ours. I would like everyone to be able to enjoy their Christmas. I also felt guilty over choosing one set of family over others to spend the day with which is why I was contemplating spending a small amount of time with each on Christmas Day as I know it’s important to them all.

I do find it interesting that you’re the only person who has responded to this whole thread with the opinion that a 6-8 week old baby is not a valid excuse for not cooking for and hosting 22 people in your home 😂 Maybe you can give the rest of us some tips!!

@Mosaic123 I did say in one of my other replies that obviously this is all very much dependent on Covid 😊 It’s a very real possibility this year that visitors etc may not even be an issue when the time comes. Fingers crossed there is no second wave and things are more relaxed by then but I wouldn’t bet on anything 😓

[quote Ritchie30]@SoloMummy 😂😂 I completely agree that Christmas is all about family. Hence why I am going out of my way to try and make sure everyone is happy 🙄
Unfortunately I don’t come from a “perfect family” (if there even is such a thing). There are family members who really do not get along and have no contact for various reasons and there are lots of very strained relationships. I know they would not put aside differences for a peaceful Christmas in our home which is why I do not see it as an option having everyone round to ours. I would like everyone to be able to enjoy their Christmas. I also felt guilty over choosing one set of family over others to spend the day with which is why I was contemplating spending a small amount of time with each on Christmas Day as I know it’s important to them all.

I do find it interesting that you’re the only person who has responded to this whole thread with the opinion that a 6-8 week old baby is not a valid excuse for not cooking for and hosting 22 people in your home 😂 Maybe you can give the rest of us some tips!![/quote]
As a lone parent, I was hosting extended family meals at 9 weeks pp (I did suffer with infections though beforehand so did take me a while to get back to my pre baby levels).
You however are a couple, so it really shouldn't be that big an issue!

OP please don’t take any notice of that post - biggest load of nonsense I’ve seen on Mumsnet in a while.

The very very vast majority of mums would not want to host a big family Christmas with a very young baby. We are a couple with an 11 month old and wouldn’t do it - guess that makes me even more lazy