Smoking (weed)

[Mumtobexo]

I broke up with my baby's father. This is my first child. I feel completely lost and alone. I have just smoked weed due to stress and feel incredibly guilty. I just don't know what to do.

[Mumtobexo]

@CWF123

Hi firstly I hope your okay, it's really sad that your partner has left you at what should be a very special time for you both. Well if you need a chat I'm here :)
Secondly good for you in reaching out for advise! Don't be too hard on yourself you did want you needed to do to cope and people have done far worse! You clearly don't want to go down this avenue again hence reaching out but maybe speak with your midwife or doctors and they may be able to offer some for of CBD oil or a product that's safe in pregnancy.

I don't want any form of cannabis I was just really stressed at the time and decided to smoke some. I'm actually very against smoking during pregnancy but sometimes we step out of character when we let things get the better of us. I appreciate your advice, thank you

[Mumtobexo]

Can I just put it out there that I do have a history of depression, anxiety and self harm. Believe it or not this baby is the best thing to happen to me and I'm fully aware I have messed up by smoking a joint. That relived the stress and yes there are other ways of going about things but I also needed an instant numbing healer and unfortunately that was it. I don't need to be educated on cannabis and how it's a drug. Everyone has different views on it. I felt guilty so wanted too reach out too other mums who have done something they should t have whilst pregnant. So if you think my post is bullshit or I'm after sympathy I am not. I am giving you a little background history on me. I don't know how I'm going to do this pregnancy alone let alone raise a child alone (unless we work things out). We all go through rough patches but id rather smoke weed than do hardcore drugs. Not that either is okay especially in a time like this.

[CluelessBaker]

The risk from one occasion is really low OP. Lots of women smoke, drink and take drugs before they know they are pregnant and go on to have totally healthy babies.

Break ups are totally shit, so I would say the main thing to focus on now is identifying alternative avenues of support and stress relief so that when you’re feeling bad you have coping mechanisms that you can feel good about (maybe that’s talking to a friend or family member / going for a walk / having a pint of ice cream / listening to music etc).

I hope the pain of the breakup eases soon

[CWF123]

@Mumtobexo it's such a shame you feel like you need to explain yourself! Sorry to hear you've been having some struggles in the past. Don't feel guilty because I'm sure a single use will have very little effect on the baby! Eating some food would probably cause more harm so don't be too hard on yourself. Everything will work out the way it's suppose to be. Hope your alright x

[NameHangec8171ns]

You'll be able to raise the baby on your own, try not to worry.

As for the weed, if your not planning on doing it again dont stress. One joint will not have affected your pregnancy

I have PCOS and didnt find out i was pregnant with my DD till i was around 6/7 weeks

Prior to that, I drank heavily, smoked weed, took cocaine ( I stopped as soon as i found out i was pregnant and spent my entire pregnancy worried id caused damage ) My DD is a perfectly healthy child, had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and was 7lb 1oz.

I had friends and friends of friends who smoked weed their entire pregnancys, their babies were healthy but every single one of them had IUGR. I definetly think the weed took a part in the low birth weights

[Mumtobexo]

@NameHangec8171ns

You'll be able to raise the baby on your own, try not to worry.

As for the weed, if your not planning on doing it again dont stress. One joint will not have affected your pregnancy

I have PCOS and didnt find out i was pregnant with my DD till i was around 6/7 weeks

Prior to that, I drank heavily, smoked weed, took cocaine ( I stopped as soon as i found out i was pregnant and spent my entire pregnancy worried id caused damage ) My DD is a perfectly healthy child, had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and was 7lb 1oz.

I had friends and friends of friends who smoked weed their entire pregnancys, their babies were healthy but every single one of them had IUGR. I definetly think the weed took a part in the low birth weights

Thank you for this message. It puts me at ease. I haven't smoked since. Neither do I plan too. I felt extremely guilty so I made the post for some advice and too bear others stories. I definitely have no desire to smoke again even after pregnancy

[Mumtobexo]

[quote CWF123]@Mumtobexo it's such a shame you feel like you need to explain yourself! Sorry to hear you've been having some struggles in the past. Don't feel guilty because I'm sure a single use will have very little effect on the baby! Eating some food would probably cause more harm so don't be too hard on yourself. Everything will work out the way it's suppose to be. Hope your alright x[/quote]
Thank you for your message also, I guess people can be a little judgmental and harsh and may feel as though they're not but it's how the other person on the other end takes it. I just wanted too bear stories and have advice as mentioned to another user I definitely don't plan on doing it again and it was a one off and even now the guilt is still there. I'm sure me and baby will be just fine with it without him x

[mencken]

don't do it again. Once is unlikely to cause harm.

Remember that unless it is grown by someone on a property that they own, buying weed means you are supporting knife crime, gang violence, cuckooking and county lines. Your money is fucking up someone else's kids.

if that doesn't make you swear off it, I don't know what will. If you need addiction support, speak to your midwife or doctor - they can help.

[lockdownpregnancy]

@mencken whilst I see your point I don't think OP needs a lecture.
She already feels bad enough as it is and it's quite clear she knows she made a mistake.
She's also made it quite clear she won't be doing it again. She just wants some advice.
You're making her sound like a blatant criminal!
As I said, I see your point 100% but a bit harsh if you ask me. 😬😬

[mencken]

plenty of the old 'weed is harmless' shit on this thread. It isn't.

The more that message is stressed, the better. OP makes her own choices about her body and her baby, but illegal drugs also harm others.

if more people can get this, maybe fewer people will get knifed/beaten up/robbed.

[BeMorePacific]

@mencken I read a really interesting piece on the impact of buying drugs in the UK, and the butterfly effect of harm that it causes.
Made me think of my uni days, when people would buy coke & E’s without consideration of the greater cost along to others.

Not wanting to derail your thread OP. Just thought the angle Mencken is looking from is one that is often not considered. In regards to your baby, I don’t think you’ll have caused any harm.
I hope you recover from your break up, and realise how incredibly strong you are.
The concern you already have for your baby shows you will be a great mum. Take care xx

[cherrybun01]

@Mumtobexo the thing is OP as much as I feel for you ending up in a situation like this where you find yourself pregnant and alone, you didnt state anywhere that you were looking for others who had done the same. you said you were not sure what to do - I can understand why others tried ways to convince you not to do it again as you did not initially make it clear you were not going to do it again, as I just said you merely stated you didnt know what to do. then came extreme defensiveness when really, people hadn't given you a hard time considering what they can be like on threads like this.

as for the drug use, as PP have said a one off is unlikely to do much, especially if you're early on. plenty of people have done things they probably shouldn't of whilst pregnant. just dont make a habit of it, lean on people if you can rather than drugs IF you do feel like this again in the future

[Laanie]

I would suggest speaking to your midwife. They should absolutely not judge (I imagine they might try to inform you about the harmful effects though) and they might be able to teach you a better method of dealing with that need to escape.
And they will most definitely listen to any feelings of being overwhelmed and unsure, that is part of their job! They can either put your mind at ease or refer you to someone who can help more than they can if it's needed.
I think your health should come first in pregnancy, yes it is all about the baby, but how can you grow a healthy baby if you can't keep yourself healthy?
There is nothing wrong with weed- I am from the Netherlands where it's legal and as normal as drinking a beer, so that has nothing to do with it- but smoking, cigarettes or other, is discouraged for good reasons.
Try to find a different escape, have a crazy dance to loud music, learn how to crochet, give painting a go, literally anything that will allow you to turn your brain off and relax. Take care of yourself and in doing so you will be taking care of your baby.