January 2021 mums to be

[Onekidnoclue]

Other thread was filling up so here’s a new one

Just had my 20 week scan, it was all good! I was so convinced there would be something wrong but (apart from baby being awkward resulting in me being tilted almost upside down on the bed) baby was measuring pretty much bang on average for everything! I'm so relieved - I've been holding off from buying anything or doing too much 'baby' stuff until now but now feel I can relax and enjoy.

We did find out the sex. I feel kind of weird about it... DH and I had both pictured ourselves with a boy. I'm really not a 'girly' person and all of his interests are quite 'male'. We had chosen a boy's name but aren't so sure about girls'. Of course it's a girl! We're just thrilled that she seems healthy of course, and part of the reason we found out was so we could prepare ourselves mentally for this scenario. But both of us I think are feeling a little... Not exactly disappointed... Deflated? I know we'll get our heads around it and our little girl will be exactly who we're meant to have. I guess we had just pictured a boy. At least finding out now we have time to process it!

@MissHoney85 aw congrats on healthy baby scan! Fabulous news! So hoping for the same when I have mine. I’ve been exactly the same with not really shopping etc!

As for the girl - as you say, I’m sure she is who you’re meant to have! Now that you know, you can start daydreaming and imagining life with her. With parents like you, she may well be a less ‘girly girl’ anyway, but even if she is, I bet you’ll be amazed at how you both change in response to having her! It’s exciting! And at least you have time to process the news rather than just finding out at the birth.

I’m really curious how I’ll respond to news of mine - I feel like I have no particular preference either way but even so, I bet it will be weird to know for sure and close the door on certain things!

I am so convinced I’m having a boy it will be a real shock when they say a girl. Still got under another two weeks to wait 🥴

@SnookyPook thank you, lovely words 😊 There are definitely plenty of good things about having a girl. There is some history of autism on both sides of the family and I think girls are slightly less prone. Plus, I can imagine my DH being a bit softer and more patient with a girl. It is exciting to be able to imagine it all a bit more now!

@MissHoney85 what a relief it's a healthy baby! Now the last thing the world needs is another pink fairy frilly princess girl. Thank god yours is going to be a strong independent warrior woman!!! No doubt she'll be whipping arses on mumsnet in years to come!!!

@footprintsintheslow ha indeed! DH and I had a really nice chat about it on our walk this evening. We've decided that our role models for our girl will be a couple of female YouTubers we watch - one called April Wilkerson who does DIY and woodwork, and an astrophysicist called Dr Becky. Of course she might turn out to be a super girly girly who likes none of those things but then so could a boy! I know we'll love her whatever. Hopefully she'll just never want French plaits...

@MissHoney85 they sound like cool role models. Your little one will be what she'll be and of course you will love her. I'm quite girly in that I like to have some make up on and paint my nails. But at the same time I'm very outdoorsy, love football and rugby and am in an astronomy club.

As for my daughters, I have one fierce feminist who's a hippy and party animal and my younger one seems to be a feral naturist who hates clothes but likes to have pink toe nails.

@footprintsintheslow 😂 sounds like you're doing a great job!

Hi everyone. I haven’t been on this forum in quite a long time but had a read through tonight.

@MissHoney85 I read your comment and felt I had to comment. I was utterly convinced I was having a boy, I’m surrounded by males and couldn’t ever imagine myself with a girl.

Well at my 16week private scan they told me it was a girl! It sounds awful but I burst out crying. I’m terrified of having a girl and it just didn’t feel right for me to be having a daughter.

However, I’m coming up to 20weeks now and I’m really excited to meet her. After I got over the initial shock I realised that I didn’t care deep down. Just long as she’s healthy. And like you have said about your DH, she will (Probably) just grow up to be a fierce independent warrior rather than a girly girl.

I mean, I’m still going to get the sonographer to confirm again at 20 weeks scan And I do have my days were I feel a bit cheated? But Im so glad I found out early so I could mentally prepare myself.

Either way, come the end of January I’m going to have a beautiful baby and gender won’t matter :)

@Sonny124 ah thank you so much for sharing 🙂 it's good to know I'm not the only one with these feelings! We're already getting used to the idea, it's just a bit of a mental adjustment.

Thank you!

Aw fab, Congratulations, not far off me! I'm convinced I'll be early as my daughter was 10 days early and I'm petite but we shall see!

@pigletpie2177 got confirmed at my 30 week scan yesterday I do have an anterier placenta, the lady scanning said I would have another scan at 32 weeks and didn't seem worried as she said it could move still before the end of pregnancy.. Still has me anxious! Apart from that baby looks and measures healthy which is a relief.
Also I had a 16 week private gender scan that revealed I'm expecting a baby boy (cried at first because ive only ever dealt with girls in my family but now come round to the idea and excited) so I asked if she could confirm at this scan that she could see a winky and she said she wasn't allowed to say?? Has anyone had this before my friends seem to think it's strange she would say that and now it's made me question whether the private scan got the gender wrong 🙈

@PollyOaks I've never heard of them saying they can't say either way. How strange.

@PollyOaks I’ve heard that some hospital Trusts refuse to provide gender results - might be worth checking the hospital policy on their website? Or you could ask your midwife if the Trust have a policy against it? But frustrating but I doubt they wouldn’t have said just because it disagreed with a previous scan?

@PollyOaks I've heard that some won't tell you in case they are wrong. We are still debating whether to ask (20wk scan on Friday) but we never asked with DC1. I can't imagine the private scan would have told you unless they were sure though. We had a private scan this time and - whilst we weren't there for gender as it was too early - I think they said that if they couldn't tell due to awkward position etc you could come back another time for a second scan for no extra fee.

FYI... if you Google there is some stuff about certain hospitals not doing it. No specific ones mentioned other than in Scotland though...

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/can-i-find-out-the-sex-of-my-baby/

Are you in Scotland? www.surescan-womenshealth.co.uk/2019/03/22/some-uk-hospitals-no-longer-revealing-babys-gender-at-pregnancy-scans/

Hi I was wondering if anyone can help

We are expecting our 3rd child yes definitely will have our hands full lol.

My husbands brother sadly passed away last year he has a 7 year old boy. My husband family want to see him every other weekend which means we will have him every 3 weeks.

My husband works in the hospitality industry where he works evenings and weekends. I feel bad in saying I won't be able to look after 4 children on my own as I don't want to be insensitive towards his nephew.

We haven't had him that often especially throughout lockdown and even prior it was always maybe once every 2 months or so which is fine but now his sister is saying we must have him every 3 weeks.

How do I approach this any advise please

Thanks

@SharonR88 aw that sounds like a tough situation. Seems a bit much for the family to expect that of you, especially when pregnant and then with a newborn and no guaranteed on-site support from your husband. What does your husband think about it? Who else is there on his side who is having the little lad to stay? Is it supposed to alternate between you and the sister? Are there any grandparents who could have him occasionally?

It’s lovely that the family is so involved and wanting to keep those ties but they also need to understand the practicalities for your family. It obviously wasn’t a circumstance anyone could have foreseen. Why is the sister getting uppity about it now? What is her situation re partner and kids? It sounds like you might need a sit-down all together to discuss the practicalities going forward. Surely if you explain that you’ve nothing against it in principle but are just worried about how you will cope, some kind of understanding can be reached? Emotions are no doubt high because of everything being intermingled with grief as well. It is delicate but hopefully just trying to better understand where each party is coming from will be helpful? I guess the Sis is worried that if you don’t have him it will be her every time? Maybe if it’s too much for all of you you need to think about it being a once a month thing rather than once a fortnight?

Sorry not to be more help! Hope you manage to work it out. X

@SnookyPook

Hiya so my MIL and FIL are unable to look after him as the mothers blind in one eye and the dads of ill health most of the time.

The sis in law has two children they are at secondary school now she will constantly message my husband and say he needs to pull his weight and be more involved with his nephew etc... my husband has not replied but I've tried to subtly mention to him once our babies here I won't be able to manage with them 4 on my own he didn't really say anything as I don't want him to feel like I don't want his nephew here which is totally not the case.

It's just difficult as my husband very rarely has a weekend off the children miss him when he's working evenings and weekends etc... but when he does they want to know so they can make sure we have his nephew too. My husband was off this Bank holiday weekend which is extremely rare for him his nephew came over from a Thursday - until today and it just felt very hectic as I found my husband will constantly fell out children off if his nephew was unhappy about our 2 year old snatching a toy off him or his here our eldest usually sits he wanted to sit in his chair and it was constantly telling our children to move etc...

I'm sure it's my hormones and exhaustion too but it just gets too much.

I do feel for him it's like the poor lil boy lives out of a bag every week literally pushed from house to house.

I will have a chat with my husband just to express he can come over but it will be when we're able too.

@SharonR88 what a nightmare!
Am I getting this wrong or is the boys mum basically farming him out for childcare every weekend and trying to create a rota for this??? Seems bonkers! I’m afraid I’d use the broken record technique of just repeating the same thing over and over until she gives up or it gets through. Something like ‘we’d love to see him when we have capacity. It’s important he doesn’t feel ignored and he might do if I have my hands full so we’ll let you know which dates work for us’.
Good luck. Sounds really tricky. Families are soo hard.

I had my 29 week scan today which was fab and got my whooping cough jab which was fine at the time but I have a really sore arm now. Anyone else feel like they got punched!!?

@Onekidnoclue not had mine yet but have heard this is common! Something to look forward to 🤪

@Onekidnoclue yep! Had my jab today and my arms realllyyy sore! Can’t see anything around where the needle went in though, just made the whole area around it hurt!

Found out today I am team pink 💕 Surprised as I was convinced I was having a boy. It’s our first and I think DH is worrying and maybe a tad disappointed as he thinks he will find parenting much harder now as baby is a girl. I told him to stop being silly and he will be amazing either way. Think he just needs a couple days to let it sink in and he’ll be as buzzed as me.

Hope everyone is good x

@Onekidnoclue I had a really sore arm that I couldn't lift above shoulder height for about 3 days after my whooping cough jab so it's not just you!