My feed

to access all these features

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.


Stress/Upset causing harm to the baby?

22 replies

sel2223 · 30/06/2020 15:22

This may sound ridiculous but I'm 33+5 today and received some really devastating news this morning.
I've spent all day in an absolute state: crying, having a bit of a panic attack and being sick.
I've now got stomach pains and am making myself even worse thinking I've harmed the baby or am going to set off early labour.
Anyone got any words of wisdom to help calm me down?

OP posts:
notasillysausage · 30/06/2020 15:26

I’m so sorry that you’ve had awful news. Take some deep breaths, hot sweet tea for the shock and consider calling the antenatal triage unit to ask their advice. I’m sure your little one will be fine and it’s the shock to your body causing pains but reassurance from a healthcare professional may help a little? Flowers have you anyone there to support you?

Shefliesonherownwings · 30/06/2020 15:31

Hi @sel2223 i'm really sorry you had some awful news today.

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant and I have spent a lot of this pregnancy in a state of high anxiety and nervousness with frequent tears, including real sobbing breakdowns and panic attacks. This stems from losing my DD to stillbirth last year which has meant this pregnancy is incredibly stressful for me.

I worried a lot about the effect stress would have on this baby and posted about it here. I have also spoken to my MH consultant and my counsellor. Everyone has reassured me that it really is highly unlikely that the baby has been in any way affected negatively and so far this one is doing well. I think someone on here said to me that people have babies in warzones and during conflicts and manage ok.

Of course it is hard not to worry, but I am sure your little one is fine and will be fine. They are pretty hardy little things in there and well insulated. If it puts your mind at rest maybe speak to your midwife for some reassurance. Sending hugs.

lockdownpregnancy · 30/06/2020 16:00

Sorry you've had awful news OP 😢 you've probably been sick because you've worked yourself up into a state. It's happened to me before when I've been a total mess over something.
The pains will probably be from the crying and being sick, but if you are worried then call the mat unit or your MW.
Try to get your breathing under control and eat and drink something.
Get a paper bag if you're really struggling. It's what I use when I have panic attacks and it really does work.
I hope you feel better soon x

Littlebirdie123 · 30/06/2020 16:05

Sorry you've had bad news.
I spent a lot of two pregnancies in a really bad way and all the babies were fine. Like you I worried I'd hurt them and I worried they'd be stressed out babies but all was well and the were chilled.
Hope you are ok.

sel2223 · 30/06/2020 16:10

Thank you so much ladies. I'm just trying to stay calm now and am going to have a warm bath to try and relax a bit.
I'm hoping the sickness and stomach pains will subside now I've calmed down a bit but will definitely call triage if not just to run it by them.
I think I've just worked myself up and then made myself even worse worrying about the baby.
I appreciate all the replies x

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 30/06/2020 16:11

Really sorry to hear this, call the midwife unit if you’re worried

I spent quite a lot of my pregnancy stressed due to work, then gave birth during lockdown so was really anxious / upset / stressed during the last 2 months in anticipation of the birth. My little DD would not be more chilled, it really hasn’t affected here

Flowers for you

crazychemist · 30/06/2020 16:49

Sorry to hear you’ve had bad news OP. I hope you have someone with you.

If your worried about pain, phone your midwife or local hospital, they can tell you what might be concerning. The odds are the stomach pains are from being sick - does it feel like period pain at all? Does it come and go with a defined rhythm?

A bath sounds like a wonderful idea. Try and have something relaxing to drink, something warm if you can manage it.

Rainbowm · 30/06/2020 19:51

@sel2223 I’m so sorry you’ve received awful news! Please try to keep yourself calm for your little bubba. I’m pretty confident you haven’t caused the baby any harm so please don’t worry about that . A lot of woman go through trauma and stress throughout pregnancy and the baby turns out absolutely fine. Take care of yourself xxx

KittyKat2020 · 30/06/2020 20:15

@sel2223 I had some pretty devastating news this morning as my gran passed away. Had a a lot of sobbing but baby thankfully seems fine and is kicking away quite happy whilst I’m miserable. Thankfully his unaware of my hysteria, thinking of you

sel2223 · 30/06/2020 20:27

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a lot calmer now and have had something to eat/drink but just can't shift this feeling in my stomach.
It's the kind of deep pain you get pre pregnancy when you are really a tight knot twisting inside making you feel sick.
I think it's more from me being so stressed than baby coming but still a worry.

@KittyKat2020 so sorry for your loss. Hope you're ok?

OP posts:
MinesALatte · 30/06/2020 21:00

@Sel2223 so sorry to read this, I don’t have any additional advice to add to what has already been posted but sending a virtual hug x

KittyKat2020 · 30/06/2020 21:33

@sel2223 yeah I’m okay, it’s just hard as we couldn’t say goodbye with all the COVID stuff but life keeps on wether like it or not

Geekydeaky · 30/06/2020 21:37

I was the same a few weeks ago when work tried to make me redundant whilst over 20 weeks pregnant! I was shaking, couldn’t breathe, kept sobbing! I was obviously so worked up that I kept throwing up, couldn’t keep anything down but my little girl is still perfectly okay, still happily having her dance party every day. I did feel really guilty when I couldn’t calm down, helped when I had another call with the big managers, lost it at them saying your making ill! HR quickly got involved and I’m no longer up for redundancy 👀 I wouldn’t worry about it! ❤️

theconstantinoplegardener · 30/06/2020 21:41

I had a major incident happen while I was at work and pregnant with DD1 and I was extremely stressed, angry and frightened and could hardly breathe for crying. It was made all the worse because I was also worrying about the effect this was having on DD! She's 12 now and the most happy-go-lucky, contented and generally delightful child (I may be biasedWink). So, try not to worry too much about the effect on your baby.

sel2223 · 30/06/2020 22:22

Honestly ladies, you've helped me so much. Thank you.

I'm really sorry to anyone else who has been, or is in, a similar situation of dealing with bad news during pregnancy.

OP posts:
Umberta · 01/07/2020 06:41

@sel2223 sorry to hear you've had bad news, how are you feeling today?

I think your baby will be just fine :) but if you can, try to keep your heart rate down. When I was poorly a couple of weeks ago and they told me to go into labour ward to get monitored, the midwife told me a bit seriously that I needed to calm down and lower my heart rate as I was making my baby's heart rate high. I have a BP/HR monitor at home so now I check my heart rate sometimes if I'm feeling anxious just to reassure myself that it hasn't gone too high again. I guess I'm trying to reassure you that even if you are very upset, as long as your heart rate hasn't got too high then I think it won't affect your baby.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today and the bath helped :)

Umberta · 01/07/2020 06:44

(Ps I wasn't poorly because of the high HR, I mean, it was being so panicky and scared about being poorly that made the HR go up if that makes sense! But I managed to calm down and even tho I was still crying etc my heart rate dropped again. In the end I got treated and baby and I are ok now thank goodness.)
Hope you are ok OP, best wishes

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 01/07/2020 06:57

Babies are amazingly resilient! I was involved in a serious accident when I was pregnant and experienced very high levels of stress, pain, panic, had multiple surgeries etc and my little one is totally fine now!

Birdy1991 · 01/07/2020 07:30

@sel2223 sorry to hear you’ve had some bad news! I think babies are generally pretty resilient. X

Isthisfairornot · 01/07/2020 07:32

OP, my mum died while I was pregnant with DD. I cried every single day for months. DD is completely wonderful now (8) and was not harmed at all. Don’t worry. Sorry about your news Flowers

sel2223 · 01/07/2020 11:45

Thank you everyone. Today is another day.

@Isthisfairornot that's awful. I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
AlviesMam · 01/07/2020 17:54

Hope your okay today @sel2223 Thanks

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.