How bad is having a newborn really?

[erised24]

I'm 36+4 so baby is due soon, also FTM but have experience with babies of all ages. I'm a little nervous for the birth but am more terrified about when baby is actually here... All I see is how awful the newborn stage is, how bad it is for the first few weeks etc and it's making me not excited about my baby girl arriving and I'm preparing myself for the worst :(

What makes it so bad?

I heard something amazing once and it stuck with me! Basically 90% of the time it's hard work having young children but 10% of the time it's wonderful. The thing is, that 10% is sooo wonderful that it more than makes up for the other 90%. And I have never heard anything more true since 😊

I think the hardest part about a newborn is the lack of sleep but my god the time doesn't half fly by!

You got this mama 💪🏼❤️

All these posts about having your mum to help and going to baby groups are making me sad ☹️

#LockdownBaby

Aww it's not bad having a newborn, its the best. It's so special because they are newborn for such a tiny amount of time, so tiny and sleepy. Especially with your first, you can sleep when they do during the day. Im expecting my second, my DS will be 2 when this baby is born so I will have my hands a lot more full this time round..I look back fondly on the newborn days. I was lucky to get a sleeper though and appreciate some don't have it as easy, honestly don't worry, enjoy every minute

Hey all I think the newborn stage was the easiest and most magical stage!
I've always worked shifts so can sleep when the baby sleeps which helps - but they are so routined themselves it's just sleep and milk and fun little new things they do!
My baby is 10 months now and crawling everywhere I feel like this is where the hard part starts!

I know it totally depends on your baby - but i was totally unprepared and knew nothing at all! But I feel like the baby just shows you the way. The midwife and health worker support can be very useful as well - as we didn't have family close.

I totally agree with everyone on just going with what you feel is best and your own instincts - if you ever want the most unsolicited advice then have a baby!
It's crazy how many people will give you tips and 'baby secrets' obviously some is helpful but every baby is so different so don't feel like you need to listen to it all! Remember you're the mother you carried that baby for 9 months! 🥰

For me every stage has been amazing because he's such a dream.
Newborn stage was bliss. He only cried if he was hungry and slept like a dream. I had to wake him for feeds most of the time. Not all newborns are screamers and non sleepers

It’s not bad, it’s magical - but very intense. My advice is to totally lower your expectations of what you’ll be able to do, and focus on yourself and your baby. Priorities and reduce essential chores down to the absolute basics like food and drink and hygiene. Anything else you can do is a bonus.

Some babies sleep a lot, but some don’t. This is not your fault if you have a baby like this

Don’t obsess about having a routine. Allow your routine to evolve and to be very individual and what suits you and baby.

Enjoy it. It’s a cliche but it’s so true - this stage will fly past. Take lots of photos and videos!

Good luck - and enjoy every moment. XX

It has been a while, but I agree it was a magical time and I say this as someone who had 2 within 18 months.
Looking back I cannot remember sleep deprivation, although I know neither slept through the night until they started school. However many other mum's used to tell me their's slept through the night right from the start.
I did a lot of co- sleeping so I guess that has something to do with it. Or perhap's I just got on with it, which looking back surprises me as I am a right old moaner now.

Fir me it was ok, woke twice nightly with both sons.
Few hiccups, as expected, no screaming babies, contrary to belief here.
The worst sleep deprived phase was menopause, both and hormones totally st war.
Sleep, and rest when you can

My mum always said that if it was that had no-one would have more than one child
My first baby was hard, he cried a lot but I also think I had unrealistic expectations and struggled to adjust to the massive change. DC2 was way easier (apart from the sleep deprivation). I enjoy the early days with both though, perhaps in different ways.

It’s not bad. It’s just so weird.. repetitive and tiring. I’m expecting baby #2 and am promising myself not to wish the time away.
Soak up all the cuddles, take all the help, watch all the box sets. cx

My mum always said that if it was that had no-one would have more than one child

Well, quite a lot of people don't have more than one child. I had never planned to have more than one, but, no, it's not something I'd have opted to experience again.

As others have said the sleep deprivation is very difficult so mitigate that by taking rest /naps when you can as that will help you. If possible tag team with your partner to do night feeds so that you are getting some good blocks of sleep. This tricky bit may be short or long, don’t panic that a challenging phase will be forever. Parenting has its peaks and troughs. Also bear in mind that your life will seem like it’s entirely different with a baby. Don’t fret that all is lost forever, bits of it will start to return, just don’t expect it to over night. Everyone will say try and enjoy your newborn, sometimes that can be easy, sometimes very difficult and that’s ok. Many mums will be in the same boat as you and many of us have been. You’ll survive whatsoever thrown at you, good luck and best wishes

I think it depends on so many factors - how the birth was, your baby’s temperament, how much support you have around you and probably many other factors.

I found DC1’s newborn months a brutal experience. I had a difficult birth and was sore and exhausted for weeks, had feeding issues, the sleep deprivation was a killer and I ended up with PND. I think I had completely unrealistic expectations of it all being a breeze and I would just go about my normal life with a cute little baby in tow. It was all a huge shock!

DC2 was magical, though. A lot to do with having an easy birth, recovering quickly and her being a great sleeper, plus DH being around a lot more to support me.

My only advice is, whatever your experience, ask for help / accept support where you can and don’t put too high expectations on yourself. You don’t have to get everything ‘right’.

The newborn stage is my absolute favourite! I have 3 kids. I found the hardest stage age 1-2, where they want to be big kids but they are tiny babies still and they just get frustrated all the time.

Depends on the baby. My first was insanely bad (as in the sent the mental health team out to see me). But it doesn't last forever. Everyone else I know has had a much easier time!

Mine only ever slept for 20 mins at a time. I was hallucinating from tiredness

I was dreading it but it’s really nice in the main. There are dark days but not many.
Tired yes, hormonal crying yes. But it was 80% great and 20% shit for me. Everyone is different though. I didn’t know one end of a baby from another and I thought it would be 100% awful so I was pleasantly surprised!

I think some of it is down to the baby you get and some is down to your expectations and how you manage it.

My first really didn’t settle, rarely slept and wanted to be held constantly. I let myself get really stressed and refused to test myself, feeling that I had to get things done etc. In hindsight, although it would have been tricky, I wish I had just gone with it, let DH take him for little walks and got some rest, and spent the weeks in my PJs on the sofa.

With DD2 is was a lovely stage. He was more placid, but I also let most things go. On days when DD1 was at nursery, I literally headed home and we cuddled in the sofa. I felt much better and remember the time fondly.

How bad it is depends partly on your expectations and partly on what your baby is like.

It's not too bad at all. I am almost four weeks in now.

I had a csection and the little bit of pain for the first week made it more difficult but very manageable.

Mine will only sleep for 1 hour at a time and pretty much only when held but all you have to so is accept that as the situation and work around it. I get a few hours in the evening while my DH watches her. I try to nap if she goes down at all during the day. Predominantly I have a ton of coffee during the day!

So while I am not as rested as usual, it is totally fine and worth it as she is very cute!

Mine is 14 weeks and honestly it’s not been as bad as I thought, same as you everyone had told me how difficult it will be so I was expecting the worst

I don't think it's bad at all the lack of sleep is hard but everything else makes up for it saying that my baby does sleep well at night ( as well as newborns do ) and I'm still tired 😅

Every baby is different. Every new mum is different, but I absolutely loved the newborn stage.

My baby slept for 20 hours every day, I was desperate for her to wake up! I absolutely adored her. Thought she was the most beautiful baby ever born. Looking back at her early pics, she really wasn't 🤣

It was a magical, amazing time. I had zero support but didn't care. Wanted to do it all myself anyway.

Enjoy your baby OP. You'll only read about the people who struggled on forums like MN, those who enjoyed it don't come onto the internet looking for advise, but we are here.

I can honestly say that I expected the worst & was pleasantly surprised! My daughter was an absolute angel until she hit 1 😂
Seriously don't worry about it it's so temporary anyway it's over before you know it! I'm just hoping now that my 2nd is as good but I'm sure I won't be so lucky twice 😂 good luck you will be fine 💖