My pregnancy dates are out by 4 weeks!

[Needingclarity]

Hi all,

Firstly please don't judge as I am really posting this for some helpful advice. I was planning a surgical abortion yesterday and went to the clinic expecting to be 10 weeks. They said I was very early in my pregnancy and am actually only around 6 weeks. The last two times I slept with someone was on the 10th April and the 2nd June. I have struggled with infertility for the last 2 and a half years and the last thing I want is the abort a baby but I'm just trying to get my head around it all. Is it more likely to be conceived on the 2nd June? I have pcos so my periods etc are a minefield. If I pay for a private scan will they scan me knowing I could only be 3 weeks? Sorry this is long winded but I am very confused.

Measuring at 6 weeks you must have conceived 2nd June. There's a huge difference between a 6 week foetus and one that is 12+ weeks and with only two possible dates it will absolutely be the June date.

I've heard that big variations are really normal when the fetus is so tiny. It's why the official dating scan happens at 12 weeks, I think, since measurements can be unreliable before this point. Someone better informed than me will hopefully chip in with more info.

All the very best to you and absolutely no judgment here. Women should never have to justify their reproductive choices. Be kind to yourself x

Has to be 2nd June date. Were you waiting until you were 10 weeks for the surgical procedure option?

Agree must have been later date, so what's that 22 days? But surely if you had a late period and arranged appointment you period would be late.

The only other thing that enters my head is that the baby was not progressing. Did they find a heartbeat? Or did they say it was to early? Having had two I'm wondering about a missed miscarriage from earlier April date.

Yes I agree I would want another scan to clarify matters OP. I'm sorry you are faced with this.

@borntohula

Has to be 2nd June date. Were you waiting until you were 10 weeks for the surgical procedure option?

They offered me the surgical option yesterday, the 10th April is just a friend who I slept with on occasion but the 2nd June is my ex partner. We miscarried two and a half years ago and struggled to conceive after that so I feel that I would want to keep the baby if I knew it was his as it's something we both wanted for so long.

@icedaisy

Agree must have been later date, so what's that 22 days? But surely if you had a late period and arranged appointment you period would be late.

The only other thing that enters my head is that the baby was not progressing. Did they find a heartbeat? Or did they say it was to early? Having had two I'm wondering about a missed miscarriage from earlier April date.

Yes I agree I would want another scan to clarify matters OP. I'm sorry you are faced with this.

Do you know if any clinic will scan me knowing I am under 6 weeks? Most clinics I've looked at online scan from 6 weeks? When I was scanned yesterday they didn't let you see or hear anything

@RobynNora

I've heard that big variations are really normal when the fetus is so tiny. It's why the official dating scan happens at 12 weeks, I think, since measurements can be unreliable before this point. Someone better informed than me will hopefully chip in with more info.

All the very best to you and absolutely no judgment here. Women should never have to justify their reproductive choices. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you for your kind words

Well I think I would say I don't know how far I am, which in one sense is true OP.

Worst case they ask you to come back?

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but you know they typically date from your last period, or add 2 weeks on if periods are irregular. So if you conceived on 2nd June, they would class you as 5 weeks pregnant, which is much closer to the 6 week estimate.

Really feel for you OP.

Just thinking practically.

Have you had a period since April?

What date did you first get positive test? We're either of those before your june date?

It's just that if it is a missed miscarriage from April I really think the early pregnancy unit would scan you ASAP because options need to be discussed. Rather than a private scan.

You can be scanned early privately to check dates. Your fertility clinic would probably advise. I think cost about £100 14 years ago.

Yes @BendingSpoons that's totally correct and a good point, I just wondered where the ten weeks initial certainty came from?

The number of weeks pregnant you are is not based on the day you have sex but roughly at the first day of your last period. Obviously this is messy for you as you don’t have regular periods due to PCOS. So it will be the date of when your period would have been had you had one. So roughly two weeks before sex.

So if you got pregnant due to sex on 2nd June you would be roughly 5 weeks and 1 day.

If you got pregnant due to sex on 10th April you would be about 12 weeks.

I have seen a six week scan, an 8 week scan and a 12 week scan. To be blunt - a six week scan doesn’t look like anything, an 8 week scan looks a bit like a kidney bean but has a heartbeat, a 12 week scan looks like a baby. There is no way that an even vaguely competent scanner could look at a 12 week scan and think it was a 6 week pregnancy. But they could easily look at a 5w1d scan and think it is a 6 week pregnancy.

You got pregnant on 2nd June.

@Mumoftwoyoungkids

The number of weeks pregnant you are is not based on the day you have sex but roughly at the first day of your last period. Obviously this is messy for you as you don’t have regular periods due to PCOS. So it will be the date of when your period would have been had you had one. So roughly two weeks before sex.

So if you got pregnant due to sex on 2nd June you would be roughly 5 weeks and 1 day.

If you got pregnant due to sex on 10th April you would be about 12 weeks.

I have seen a six week scan, an 8 week scan and a 12 week scan. To be blunt - a six week scan doesn’t look like anything, an 8 week scan looks a bit like a kidney bean but has a heartbeat, a 12 week scan looks like a baby. There is no way that an even vaguely competent scanner could look at a 12 week scan and think it was a 6 week pregnancy. But they could easily look at a 5w1d scan and think it is a 6 week pregnancy.

You got pregnant on 2nd June.

Thank you, clearly I am very new to this as have only conceived once before.

It is very weird the way it works.

In one way it makes sense - the day someone has sex is a bit meaningless in terms of baby making as the sperm can hang around for a number of days looking for an egg to fertilise or it may meet one pretty quick.

But first day of period is very confusing - as it means that the first two weeks of your “pregnancy” are before you even have sex. Plus it causes huge problems for someone like you (with dodgy cycles) and someone like me. (I have 20 day cycles which means I ovulate on Day 6. My “pregnancy” actually starts 8 days before my period. With dd I walked into the 12 week scan 12 weeks pregnant (based on my period dates) and walked out over 13 weeks pregnant - very surreal!)

When was your last period, that might clear this up bit I agree, sounds like you conceived in june

all those people asking about her last period - that's irrelevant. She has PCOS.

OP, with PCOS and, technically a period that makes you much further along, your GP would likely refer you for an early scan. Certainly, mine did. So we both knew that I was very unlikely to be the 12+ weeks that my "dates" said I was (I'd taken a pregnancy test at a point that proved this) but to get clarity to ensure optimum care AND to be 100% certain, she booked me in for a scan asap. So if you do want this baby, I'd be making an appointment with your GP asap to discuss it. Explain your concerns, your history (PCOS and miscarriage) and request an early scan.

Good luck.

It seems from your dates that you conceived on 2nd June which would make you 5+1 today.

Be aware that there is often no heartbeat (and sometimes not even an embryo) before 6-7 weeks which is why most places don't like to scan any earlier than that. It causes so much anxiety and uncertainty when there's nothing to see and you have to wait another couple of weeks to find out if the pregnancy is even viable or not. Try and wait closer to 7 or 8 weeks if you can.