Positive vaginal birth stories please?

[firstmummyaug]

Hello,

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have been suffering with tokophobia since around 25 weeks. I'm petrified of all the stories people have kindly felt the need to share with me of how they had PTSD their birth was so terrible, or 'oh your first labour is just awful and so long' or how down there will never be the same again if you tear and you will be incontinent etc. Coupled with my fear about the baby getting stuck/not survive the birth (my friend gave birth to sleeping baby around 5 weeks ago despite no previous concerns) i'm a bit of a mess to be honest. I spoke to my consultant about an ELCS for these reasons but due my previous 6 surgeries for endometriosis he has said this would be riskier for me due to scar tissue which now has left me feeling so overwhelmed with the big day getting nearer. I've completed the positive birth co online course and it has helped a little, but I just can't get rid of this fear that things are going to go awfully.

Can anyone share some of their positive vaginal birth experiences, especially if you were a FTM? Could really do with some help. Thanks x

I had a fairly textbook delivery!

Period type pains starting 8pm on the Monday, gradually getting stronger and closer together (9 mins then 8, so not too close) through the night.

By 11am they were strong enough for me to have to concentrate breathing through, and 2.30pm we went to hospital where I was found to be 4-5cm. Half past 7 I went into the birthing pool and delivered at 22.43. I had only gas and air throughout, and even stopped that when I was pushing so I could concentrate.

I did suffer a third degree tear which I was terrified of! I needed to go to theatre to have it repaired, under a spinal block. Yes it took maybe, 10-12 weeks for me to feel like I was getting back to normal in that respect, but I've had no long term effects - no incontinence.

Good luck! I hope your delivery is straight forward too

Firstly congratulations and secondly you will be fine!

Honestly your body will take over and do what it needs to do, all you have to do is go with it- easier said than done I know!

Yes I had a unusually long labour, even for a first time mum, yes it was painful, yes I tore but afterwards I did not care one bit. I have a beautiful baby and my body is pretty much as it was a year on. Most births are straightforward and result in a healthy baby, of course things do happen but it’s much more likely all will be fine - the recovery from a section is much much worse I am told.

Honestly I don’t have any fear doing it again, good luck

I've had 2. My son was very slow to crown (painful) but no damage other then being very sore for weeks afterwards.

My daughter did cause 3 2nd degree tears but honestly had no idea and was back to normal in 3 days pain and swelling wise.

I was very afraid of giving birth too the first time, absolutely dreading it. My water broke early with both children and it was like a kind of strange resolve hit at that moment and the fear went.

I would recommend using tens and relaxation techniques as soon as labour starts. Also perhaps consider an epidural if pain is likely to increase your anxiety to unbarable levels, it isn't good to be very scared during labour itself and it's worth comparing pros and cons.

I had my first 8 years ago (due 2nd any day now).

I was restless from midnight, pains started at about 4:00am, had a bath then got to hospital for about 6:00am. DD arrived at 8:30am. I had gas & air only. Slight tear that I didn't know was there until they stitched it up (2 stitches, still had the gas & air, uncomfortable but not painful). Baby born healthy.

It was a good birth. Obviously contractions hurt, but it is the sort of pain that is doing a useful job, rather than a bad pain warning you that something is wrong (if that makes sense?).

Best of luck. Not every birth is a bad birth, people just like to share horror stories or the goriest details.

I had a very straight forward induction, my waters went but I didn’t go into natural labour.
Pessary put in at 11.30am, baby in my arms by 7pm. I had gas and air for pain relief the last 2hrs or so.
2 tears but they had healed before my 6wk check, no incontinence etc.

Overall a totally positive experience!

I had diamorphine and gas and air and tbh, I managed to sleep through the contractions.
It had worn off by the time I had DS but, tbh yes it hurts like a bitch, would it put me off having another? Nope.
I had a tear too and I'm not incontinent. Being stitched up probably hurt more for me.

DD- I was induced due to pre-eclampsia. Honestly, it was fine. I had a fairly long day in labour ward but the pain was controlled, she was out in 2 pushes and though I did tear there was no lasting effects. There was no need for forceps/ventouse etc. She was 8lb 6oz.
DS- went in as I had a bleed. They decided to keep me in to induce but he had other ideas and my waters went naturally. Labour was fairly quick after that. Another normal vaginal birth, no instruments required and only a slight graze so no stitches required. He was 9lb 13oz.

My first labour/birth was under 5 hours from start to finish!
It was really intense but not what I’d describe as painful. I did end up having forceps as baby’s heart rate kept dipping but even that was fine, literally a few minutes of pain and baby was out!
Before having DC1 the idea of an episiotomy and forceps was my absolute worst nightmare but I’m currently pregnant with DC2 and I’m not worried in the slightest about the birth going the same way as last time.
Trust that your body can do this and listen to the midwives/doctors. Good luck x

Please please please look up The Positive Birth Company! (Youtube, Facebook, Instagram...)

My first birth was amazing and I'd do it all over again. It wouldn't have been the same without TPBC, we bought the digital pack (£40) and it got both my partner and I in the right mindset and I was actually excited to give birth.

I had my son at 1.30 am and at lunchtime was having lunch in my local cafe. I honestly felt like I had been and bought him. No pain relief, nothing nasty , no unbearable pain , ignore the horror stories.

Another who has found the Positive Birth Company helpful. I follow them on Instagram and every day they share a positive birth story

I also had a textbook delivery. Lost the plug in the evening after a wee, mild twinges started at 9pm, went to bed and waters burst, in hospital by about 10.30pm, slept through most of it till about 5.30/6am when contractions really came with greater frequency, daughter arrived at 8.04am.
That was my first (and only) labour so pretty quick and simple!

I also used the Positive Birthing Company and read their positive birth stories on Instagram. I had a great labour and I think a lot if it was down to the techniques and suggestions throughout the book. I couldn't recommend them enough! Xx

I had an induction. Used positive birth company hypnobirthing breathing for entire labour as my only pain relief until last 10 mins when I had some gas and air to help as I was pushing baby out. Had a tiny tiny tear which had a couple of stitches (didn't hurt) and I couldn't feel them in the days after at all. I have no incontinence. People are AWFUL to mums about labour and delivery and the after effects, try not to be around anyone who says shit like that to you in the weeks leading up to delivery. You CAN push this baby out and make a fast recovery. You have more of a chance of that if you don't panic when in labour so learn all you can about the process.

Mine was really straightforward. As baby worked his way down towards being born, I remember thinking that it felt like a really familiar feeling, even though I'd obviously never experienced it before. It felt like it made sense and I could understand what was happening and what I needed to do. I was genuinely surprised by the experience because everyone makes giving birth out to be this awful, terrible thing and for me it really wasn't and I was a bit like 'wait, that was it?' (I know that could sound a bit smug and I don't want to diminish anyone's difficult experiences, but I think the OP might benefit from hearing that right now!)

The part that was more intense and challenging overall was while I was dilating and my body was getting ready to start to push. I was surprised by that, too, because it's easy to form the impression that giving birth is an uphill struggle with pushing the baby out as the worst bit. So, one thing I would say is, if you're progressing through this stage and feeling like you can't go on because you're imagining it will only get worse, it actually may well become much more manageable.

I had some second degree tearing, but it was stitched up quite easily, and after being a bit uncomfortable for the first week or two it all healed up and I can't say I've noticed any difference versus before I gave birth. Not incontinent, either!

Wishing you all the very best!

First baby, labour was 4 hours and I had a third degree tear, so they stitched me up and I was fine.

Second baby, 3 hour labour and it was the smoothest and best labour ever.

I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd and looking forward to the labour, hoping it goes as smooth as my 2nd

I was determined to have a natural birth and avoid an epidural, mainly because I was terrified of having episiotomy/forceps and thought they would damage me for ever.

Of course, ended up with both and was perfectly fine. If anything as it was done in surgery, the surgeon stitched me back up and did an amazing job (if I say so myself!) perhaps better than a midwife would if I had had a tear.

Haven't attempted any star jumps yet but pretty sure there's been no long lasting bad effects from the birth although not one moment of it went to plan.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s sleeping baby. No wonder this is a worry for you, it’s completely natural to feel scared and anxious about birth anyway - let alone with that playing on your mind.

For what it’s worth, my first labour was my longest, but it was only 6.5 hours from first contraction to delivery with a ten minute second stage - I just had gas and air and no tearing. I’ve delivered two more babies since - the biggest was 9lb 13oz - all quickly and easily with gas and air and no damage. It can happen! Obviously you won’t know until you go into labour but if you are relaxed, well informed, and trust your midwives and birthing partner then you are in the best possible starting place. Good luck!

My first and second labours were quick. With my first I had an episiotomy and forceps so obviously required stitches. Took several months before I could have sex again but once I did it was like nothing had changed.

My second was a water birth with no interventions. I did tear quite badly so required stitches. But I healed very quickly and honestly you'd never be able to tell.

So although mine aren't the most positive I just wanted to share that they haven't affected me at all. I have no incontinence issues either. No problems whatsoever.

I gave birth 14 weeks ago, fairly textbook induction at 37 weeks.
I’m mid/late twenties fit and healthy. It wasn’t the most fun I’ve had in life but I think the best thing you can do is get in the ‘it will happen, then it will be over, then I’ll have a little person’ mindset.

Also if you go in determined to have a certain type of birth You’ll probably be disappointed and feel you’re losing control. I declined a birth plan as it seems illogical to make a plan in advance to manage pain you’ve never experienced.

I ended up with an epidural 👍🏻
Could I have managed to tough it out? Probably but it was very unpleasant and I didn’t want to. With the epidural I didn’t feel anything other than pressure. The midwife has to tell me when I was having contractions so I’d know when to push... I’d recommend it!

I know how hard it is not to worry! Someone I work with told me about a stillbirth in minute detail not long before I was going on mat leave. All I can say is I've had three vaginal births with no intervention. The first did take a while, but I had an epidural because he was at a crap angle. The other two were quick and easy, had no pain relief at all. The most important thing is to have faith in yourself and in your midwives. They're all fantastic. They know what they are doing, and inspite of some stuff you might read, they do know exactly how to keep you and your baby safe. With my last baby I nearly ended up giving birth in the hospital Costa and we were discharged home within two hours of the birth. Just look forward to the big day and try to think of each contraction bringing you closer to your baby and a rest.

I did have a long labour but I loved the pushing stage. My body took over and did it all by itself - I didn't consciously push once. I gave birth standing up and felt so empowered and honestly like the queen of the world. I'd do that part again any day. It only took 20 mins too. Giving birth, seeing my baby for the first time and that first hour or so cuddling her and looking into her eyes was totally otherworldly.

Giving birth to two of my sons was pure pleasure. Both times I had a home birth and pool. I had the music I wanted and was in the place I wanted. The midwives were like friends sitting and chatting around the pool and DH was kept busy feeding everyone with snacks. I think the key was that I was totally relaxed and felt in control. The pain on crowning was fleeting and I got to pull DC from me and cuddle them both times. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I wasn't too old!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Try to relax, there's no way to tell how your delivery will go and you have to get baby out one way or another so don't work yourself up about it too much!

I was 37+6 when my waters broke at 9:30pm. We dropped the dog off at the in-laws, pottered over to hospital, booked in and was 2cm dilated with mild contractions. At about midnight I asked for pain relief and had another examination, 4cm. I had a water birth planned so the midwives were setting the pool up for me. I asked for gas & at about 2am, contractions really painful at this point but gas & air really helped. At about 3am I was transferred to the pool room, got in and my body began to push, baby girl was born at 4:04am. The cord snapped so she had to be checked over but was absolutely fine. I got out and the midwives were so helpful transferring a wet, bleeding woman to a bed with dignity (as much as possible). I the. Delivered the placenta with a little help from gas & air. Had some time with baby before midwives examined me - no tears, not even a graze thanks to their brilliant coaching. I spent a little more time with baby, breastfeeding etc, had some coffee & toast then midwives spent some time with dad helping him bond with baby so I could shower.

All in all, a really positive birth experience. I really hope you get a similar one! Good luck OP

Hope this helps a bit and that everything goes as well and comfortably as possible.

With my first, I started having contractions that woke me up in the morning, but I wasn't really in labour until the evening and he was born the following morning. It felt really hard at the time, but it wasn't that long and during the first stage I could rest on my side between contractions, particularly with a heat pack (really recommend those, I really loved my heat packs during all my labours). I found during the second stage that being on all fours and pressing my head into the raised head of the mattress very helpful. I ended up with mild labia grazes. Other than drinking plenty of extra water to make going to the toilet easier (with my second, I was given lactulose to help with that, but I had also been on iron supplements which can cause constipation) and leaning forward when I peed to prevent as much urine as possible from going over those grazes, there was little issue over the weeks they were healing and I've no issues now. There were some issues with the placenta being delayed (I remember being very annoyed that the NHS book gave like 3 paragraphs on the placenta and it was the one part that didn't go textbook, with my first it took nearly two hours to deliver), but even that caused no long-term issues.

I've had four vaginal births, and those grazes were the worst I ended up with though I did have greater issues with some later placentas (according to one midwife, the one she delivered was really oddly large and she suspected that might be why 3/4 of mine took ages).

I did have some incontinence issues a few years after having kids (and I still wear cloth pads when I have a cold due to experiences with stress incontinence with I sneezed), but those ended up actually being connected to not entirely related muscle issues and nutritional deficiencies - my pregnancies put greater stress on my systems, but would likely have become an issue eventually anyways. There are women's health physios that can do checks in the months afterwards if you're concerned and even some online that do video courses on core muscle groups that, alongside nutritional blood works and getting those sorted out, worked really well for me. I haven't had any issue with it in years, even when I went through a thing of drinking 1.5l of water first thing in the morning.

I already had C-PTSD before having kids, including some around medical issues (my birth plan was essentially 'I'm very scared to be here and a bit on why, please do not ask my spouse to leave, here are relevant medical considerations). While the anxiety parts did increase during pregnancy and remained in the months after having my kids alongside some PTSD-type issues like repetitive rumination, numbing alternating with hypervigilance/irritation, that all faded, especially once I was able to take better care of myself (I've also had arthritis in some joints since being a teen, joint pain was my biggest early post-partum issue). If that becomes an issue, there are professionals and those of us with experience who can give you help. There are treatments and coping skills that can be learned to second nature. It isn't something I would wish on anyone, but it can be managed and many of us live happy lives.