Positive vaginal birth stories please?

[firstmummyaug]

Hello,

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have been suffering with tokophobia since around 25 weeks. I'm petrified of all the stories people have kindly felt the need to share with me of how they had PTSD their birth was so terrible, or 'oh your first labour is just awful and so long' or how down there will never be the same again if you tear and you will be incontinent etc. Coupled with my fear about the baby getting stuck/not survive the birth (my friend gave birth to sleeping baby around 5 weeks ago despite no previous concerns) i'm a bit of a mess to be honest. I spoke to my consultant about an ELCS for these reasons but due my previous 6 surgeries for endometriosis he has said this would be riskier for me due to scar tissue which now has left me feeling so overwhelmed with the big day getting nearer. I've completed the positive birth co online course and it has helped a little, but I just can't get rid of this fear that things are going to go awfully.

Can anyone share some of their positive vaginal birth experiences, especially if you were a FTM? Could really do with some help. Thanks x

@kidsareok

Not birthed yet but I'm 38 +3 so have found all of these stories very positive and helpful!

Thank you op for making the thread and everyone for your positive stories!

I was induced, which was long and yes painful but my actual deliveries are incredible.
I'd give birth 100000x over. Both DS pushing stages were 10 minutes or less.

Don't be afraid, hypnobirthing is great if you're open to it.

This has been amazing to read as ive suffered with anxiety around the birth too!!

Can I just ask the mummy's who have replied on here about having an epidural, did you need to have instrumental help or any problems with shoulders getting stuck? I've had the same 'oh I would stay away from an epidural at all costs' horror stories as that's what I had considered having as pain relief if I needed due to a morphine allergy.

I went into labour around 4am. Contractions 5-7 mins apart.
Went to the hospital at 12. Contractions every 4 mins. Was told I was 1cm. Sent home.
Went back at 5pm. Pain a lot worse. Still 4 mins between contractions. Still 1cm. Told to go for a walk for a couple of hours. Went back at 7pm. Pain very bad at this point. Asked for pain relief. Only 2cm. Had a shot of something, helped a lot with the pain. 9pm that wore off. Asked for an epidural. Was 3cm (but stretchy? Not sure what that means).
Stood up waters went. The pain changed. I didn't want an epidural anymore. Baby was born less than 2 hours later. Only had gas and air. Not sure how long I was pushing for. Didn't feel very long. My body just know what to do. Honestly wouldn't change a thing. It was perfect.

Two uneventful births at 40 weeks. Waters broken during the pushing stages both times.

Both took about 12 hours from first contraction. Had gas and air during the pushing bits. Small tears/grazes and a few stitches on both occasions but you just don't feel it or realise it's happening at the time.

Bad bits - internal exam to see how far a long you are, unpleasant but not unbearable. Contractions in the later stages, actually just contractions in general, the pushing bit is fine.

Good bits - the rush you get once it's done. Like crossing the finishing line in a marathon. Tea and toast afterwards. A shower all by yourself for the first time in 9 months. Obviously the baby being there.

Bits you don't really remember - pushing, tearing, all of the weighing/measuring/ Apgar stuff etc stuff that happens to the baby immediately after the birth. Delivering the placenta if you have the injection. Getting stitched up if needed.

Try and focus less on 'the big day' and more on the first outfits, being able to sleep on your front again etc.

both came between 34-35 wks 1st 1.15 mins from waters breaking. to baby born 2nd 20. No pain killers needed. I had a few issues with my first as the after birth didn,t come, but 2nd up and walking with in the hour. Can honestly say had work period pain. A few stiches first time but no issues. First baby born in sitting position, second on my side. ! born at home unassisted, second I say the midwives arrived in time to catch the baby. (I wouldn't,t say delivered.)

About 12 hours from first pain to baby being out. I had been told lots of horror stories about long births by my sister and mother so was in utter shock it was so fast.

I was very scared about instruments and at the end I just couldn't push my son out and needed help. It was literally minutes and was so quick. I share this part as most of us of scared of a baby being stuck. Alarms were pressed but you trust the staff, you do what they say and they manage it all.

In fact if people ask me about the worst part of giving birth - being stitched up! Not the pain or the procedure as Adrenalin kicks in

If you haven't read the positive birth book my milli hill it's worth a read

My labour only lasted 5 hours from waters breaking to DS arriving. Only used gas and air because there wasn’t really time for anything else - some people don’t like gas and air but I thought it was great! Did not feel this ‘ring of fire‘ that sometimes gets mentioned - after having some quite intense contractions coming on very quickly pushing actually felt very good in a weird kind of way. I had an episiotomy - didn’t feel anything there either when it was done. Stitching up feels a bit weird and uncomfortable but not painful - but when you’re holding your baby at the same time you don’t really care. After DS was born I kept thinking the painkillers must wear off at some point and it would sting but the stitches never really hurt, I just felt a bit achy down there. Achy all over actually, like I’d massively overdone it at the gym... I think I was tensing all over too much when pushing, I couldn’t lift my arms properly, they hurt the most! It was no walk in the park by any means, but much easier than I imagined.

I'm so sorry about your poor friend.

I ended up having an induction, decided at the last stage of the pregnancy. This was a huge curve ball and set me on the path of a really instrument heavy birth which wasn't at all what I had mentally prepared for and I was very upset. I had induction, epidural, forceps, episiotomy and a tear in the end. But - it was all completely, completely fine. I don't look back on it and feel upset, scared or that I couldn't handle it.

I was so scared going into it of the lasting effects of all of this. A few months on my tummy has recovered, my pelvic floor is fine, the scar has healed brilliantly and doesn't hurt (and I didn't have any infection as it was healing).I'm so proud of my amazing body, not just for my beautiful baby, but for the way it healed itself after all of this.

I was also so scared of the epidural imagining a massive needle into my spine. It is nothing like this at all. It is a godsend. Google what it actually looks like and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with labour. Millions of other women have managed it, for centuries and centuries and centuries. You are not the odd one out. You will be absolutely fine.

Hi, honey. I’ve given birth three times. I’ve had one home and two hospital births with no complications. I had no pain medications with the first two but did have an epidural with my last baby (at age 42)

All births were very straightforward. Nobody can deny that there is pain involved with labour but you do get through it. Honestly, as soon as my babies slipped out the pain disappeared.

I was ravenous after each birth. I made sure to have lots of good food available to eat after delivery. My mum brought me lots of delicious sandwiches and snacks. You may be very thirsty too. I had a large thermos with ice water at the ready.

Good luck for a lovely and healthy birth💐

I was induced as was overdue. Had the pessary in mid afternoon, nothing happened until about 1.30am. Contractions started very suddenly and strong (I mention this as I was expecting more of a slow build up, and panicked when they were so strong as I was a bit like if this is the start I can't cope!!) Was checked and in active labour so moved to delivery. I had a bit of time in the pool (was lovely!), in the end they started to get a bit concerned about babies heart rate so had to get out and have her on dry land! Also had the dreaded drip for the last hour or 2 as my contractions were a bit short apparently.

Had gas and air throughout and it was very painful but didn't get past the point where I felt I couldnt cope. I found the gas and air helped - not so much in terms of pain relief but it forced me to keep taking long deep breaths in and out! I had a small episiotomy and a second degree tear, which was stitched up whilst I cuddled baby.

My grandmother, my mum, me, my sister, my MIL, my SIL and my SIL’s mum- 12 births between us, and all pretty much textbook vaginal deliveries with quick recovery (one was twins!) other than A) One forceps birth (No complications) and B) a heavy bleed (no transfusion necessary though, all was fine). Just to say it can and does happen!

Thank you @mrs87

I had a 6.5hr spontaneous labour (2cm-10cm in under 5hrs), 1 shot Pethidine and Gas and Air. 3 teeny tiny stitches for a miniscule tear I never felt.
Felt brilliant immediately after birth, didn’t need as much as a paracetamol afterwards. Undercarriage and pelvic floor undamaged.

I was 42, FTM and had GD too. It hurt, I didn’t have time for the epidural I planned but it was amazing. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

My friends who had good births told me that you probably don't hear as many good stories as bad as they don't dare to tell their side of things when someone else is talking about a traumatic or difficult birth. One friend had 3 good and quick homebirths, one friend had 2 kids and both times had the child without problems within 20 minutes of arriving at the hospital.

It makes sense. When someone in a group is going on about a hard long labour it would be insensitive to say that they themselves had a child in 5 hours with only a hot water bottle and it was out in two or three pushes and back home entertaining grandparents three hours later. My guess is that it happens more often than we hear about.

I'd recommend some hypnobirthing practice, I used the Katherine Graves book and downloads. Try to avoid the forums and MN threads where people like to outdo each other with horror stories 🙂

I had a home water birth at almost 38 weeks with my first. Had lower back aches that became regular on and off back aches (which in retrospect was a big clue!) for 2 days before I actually twigged I was in labour at about 6pm. Had a bath, stuck my tens machine on after, and did some breathing exercises until about 9 when I was starting to feel the pressure in my back was getting harder to deal with like that. The midwife almost refused to come as I could talk to her on the phone - they say if you can't hold a conversation you're not as far on as you think - but my husband managed to persuade her. She did one examination when she arrived find I was 7-8 cm and definitely ready to get in the pool!

I was in the pool - which was amazing! - until she was born at 1 am. Had gas and air but not sure it did much more than the breathing alone! To be honest I found it was all immense pressure in my back rather than pain - it was completely overwhelming but the feeling that I wasn't in control of what my body was doing was the worst thing. When she was crowning and being born it was like my body was going to break in two, but the relief of her coming out was incredible!

The whole thing was crazy and at the time I felt kind of distanced from it all, but I'm actually looking forward to doing it again with my second in October!

I woke with contractions around 2am, got out of bed to have some tea and toast and then they were getting close at 5am so I woke my husband. We headed to the hospital at 06:30 when I was still breathing through my contractions. At 07:30 they were really painful, the midwives kept wanting to examine me to find out how far I was dilated, but I didn't want this as I find vaginal exams distressing. They fetched my husband into the room when it was clear I was in established labour from the pain I was in (he had to wait outside due to COVID restrictions) and as soon as he was in I felt the need to push.

I was given gas and air and it was great, took me a few contractions to get the rhythm of it but it made my head to a bit loopy, sort of out of my head but like my body just took over. Baby arrived about half an hour later, with a 1st degree year which healed without stitches.

I was so proud of myself and think having no interventions (no vaginal exams, no doctors involved, not wired up to monitoring etc) made me more relaxed and my baby more relaxed, he's been the most chilled baby so far!

I LOVED giving birth. I'm pregnant again now and I genuinely can't wait to go through it again. I didn't read any hypnobirthing etc I just went into it happy to go with the flow and would have gladly worked up gas & air/diamorphine/epidural, in fact had they offered a c section I would have taken that but I'm so pleased I didn't.

Went 4 days overdue (the waiting was the worst part of it all), woke up 5.30am with backache which got progressively worse until they were coming every 10 mins and I could only concentrate on them at the time. About 7pm I just felt something different in the contractions so we went to hospital. By the time we got there and checked I was 4cm. 30 mins later DD was here with gas & air only after 7 minutes of pushing. Genuinely didn't feel any pain, just pressure. I tore and I literally had no idea I had, I would have sworn I hadn't if you asked me. Was only a second degree and hurt a bit getting up & sitting for about 5-6 days then I was back to normal. Only issue was pelvic floor was weakened and took about 4 month to be back to normal completely. I honestly think back to it and I'm excited I get to do it again so soon!

Aww please try not to stress as hard as that is! I was so so worried about the birth of my first. I worried myself into a stupor about it (can’t even have a smear without sedation!)
I read up on hypnobirthing and anything that I thought would help me relax and feel more positive.
When it came to the time, I stayed at home as much possible and tried to tell myself it would get much worse so don’t go in until I absolutely have to! I used a tens and yes there was cramps but like very bad period pains.
After a few hours they were getting stronger and closer together so I phoned up and went in. Absolutely bricking it- thought I am going to ask for an epidural, no way am I pushing and tearing and all of that horrid stuff.
What was absolutely amazing to me was that my body took over. My mind just had to go along with it because my body seemed to know what to do. I was 10cm when they first examined me and the head was there! The end contractions were really strong and I had gas and air. Prepare yourself that this is the most painful bit (transition) and you will be saying I can’t do this- but you can!! It’s amazing!
There was no time for an epidural and I remember thinking oh god, the head is going to come out and I’m going to feel it!!
Best advice from MW was don’t waste energy screeching and shouting when pushing. Put your chin down and use all that power in the push.
Anyway after what felt like 10 mins (but was an hour) my baby came out and it was just the best best thing ever. I did tear a bit but I didn’t even know. The stitches were not that bad as they gave me an injection there (which sounds horrible but it just feels like an injection and you still have the gas and air to take)
Believe me, I am a huge wuss about anything medical but giving birth was just the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. Everytime I thought about it afterwards I smiled and was so amazed and proud that I’d actually done it. Was buzzing so hard afterwards I stayed up all night and wrote the whole birth down over several pieces of paper!
Watching one born is so nice because it brings it all flooding back

Mine wasn't great on paper but dont let that put you off because it was positive.

Waters broke and gentle contractions started about 12 hours later. Turned up for induction another 12 hours after that and was already 3cm. Skipped the pessary and went straight to labour ward. Baby having some decelerations on the monitor and basically I never got off the damn thing. I think because of the lack of mobilisation I didn't progress much and ended up with the induction drip and an epidural. Was fully dilated after three hours. Couldn't push him out so ended up with forceps and episiotomy in theatre. A mistake was made during stitching and so I had to be restitched and obviously was apart from my baby for longer. At the time it was scary but I felt safe and trusted the staff who were fabulous.

It's obviously not what anyone would want but it was still positive, I was mostly not in pain, everything has healed fine with no lasting damage. I was in much better shape than the other ladies who had ended up with csections even after having a bit of a rough time. I'd always thought I'd rather have a section but my mind has been changed on that. I breastfed as soon as I was in theatre recovery, up on my feet having a shower a few hours later. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I had a good labour! It was much quicker than I expected. FTM so didn't have a clue what to expect but my waters broke, I had mild pain for a few hours after that. Once it got too much I went to the hospital and arrived just as I needed to push! My son was born 1.5 hours later. Total time from waters breaking to giving birth was 8 hours. Natural delivery and no pain relief and I am definitely not someone with a high pain threshold.

The Positive Birth Company digital pack of videos is an excellent hypnobirthing resource too by the way. I bought and completed it when pregnant last year with my second and it was well worth the money.

Ladies, I can't thank you enough for all of these stories, they really have made me feel so much better. It honestly isn't the pain that bothers me because after doing the positive birth company online course I know its 'purposeful pain'. What is frightening me is there being complications which result in baby not being ok and/or irreversible damage to my undercarriage! So these stories have helped so much. Thank you x

Hey I'm gone be completely honest my 1st was by far my easiest ok was in labour 14 hours. But he was just under 2 weeks early in the "norm" my waters were trickling so called the hospital and they said wait and see if anything happens over night if not come in the next day for induction other than the waiting for a bed it was my best by far. And yeah your vag might well your pushing a baby out of this tiny hole honestly mine looked like a jacket potatoe with swelling but I wouldn't hold my push so every time I stopped before they told me hed go back up again. I love labour it's too exciting... when and wher will it start seeing people make a fuss and some not even quite sure what to do, what the baby will look like ect. I'm on number 4 and I'm extremely high risk and I'm still buzzing with excitement. I know this may sound a bit insensitive but bad things will happen now and again I know a woman who had endometriosis and lost her womb and will never experience pregnancy the fact you have made it this far is a blessing and in all honesty the hospitals now and technology we are so lucky really. just hold fire take a few deep breaths and just smash this your look back and think either yeah I'd do that again or NO never again but most people say that they end up with 2+ kids I wish you all the best anyways xxx