Positive vaginal birth stories please?

[firstmummyaug]

Hello,

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have been suffering with tokophobia since around 25 weeks. I'm petrified of all the stories people have kindly felt the need to share with me of how they had PTSD their birth was so terrible, or 'oh your first labour is just awful and so long' or how down there will never be the same again if you tear and you will be incontinent etc. Coupled with my fear about the baby getting stuck/not survive the birth (my friend gave birth to sleeping baby around 5 weeks ago despite no previous concerns) i'm a bit of a mess to be honest. I spoke to my consultant about an ELCS for these reasons but due my previous 6 surgeries for endometriosis he has said this would be riskier for me due to scar tissue which now has left me feeling so overwhelmed with the big day getting nearer. I've completed the positive birth co online course and it has helped a little, but I just can't get rid of this fear that things are going to go awfully.

Can anyone share some of their positive vaginal birth experiences, especially if you were a FTM? Could really do with some help. Thanks x

Two easy labours here. First one was just under three hours from start of contractions to birth, second just over three hours. First was in hospital, in the midwife-led unit, the second at home in a hired birth pool. No tearing or complications. Used gas and air with the first but not the second.

I'd happily give birth again. Do pregnancy all over again, not so much!

I was induced but other than that I had a pretty great birth.
Once things got moving I went from 2cm to 9cm in an hour. I had my epidural and it worked great, no pain but still sensation.

My son was absolutely fine when he came out, I only had 3 stitches and was back to normal after about 6 weeks.

I was quite scared of labour but it really couldn't have gone better unless my labour had started naturally.

I had my ds nearly 2 years ago and yes it hurt but it was still the best day of my life hands down. Text book 16 hour labour, the first 4 hours of which I spent not even being sure if I was really in labour.

Was able to spend hours at home on the birthing ball doing my hypnobirth exercises. Arrived at hospital at 5cm dilated and ds was born a few hours later in the birthing pool on the labour ward. Pushing stage was less than half an hour and yes it hurt and was scary at times but the midwives were excellent and I was able to have music playing and the lights dimmed.

I hadn't even realised I'd torn until someone told me and being stitched up really was no big deal - they numb you down there.

Worth looking into the positive birth company if you're feeling worried. Their digital pack helped me lots. Good luck!

I think being a bit nervous the first time is totally normal (although I appreciate it may be more extreme in your case). I was worried, because it was something I hadn’t done before and I didn’t know how I’d react.

Honestly, I had a very straightforward vaginal birth. I’m going to give a lot of detail to be honest about the whole process, feel free to not read!

Contractions started about 3am, but were mild so I didn’t bother to wake DH as it was obvious nothing was going to happen for a while. Annoying though, as they were 15 minutes apart and just strong enough that they woke me so I remember looking at the clock every 15 minutes and being annoyed that I couldn’t sleep. Woke DH at 7am to tell him I thought today would be the day, but probably not for hours so just be ready for a call at work and get cover written for the next day (he’s a teacher). My parents came round at lunch time (they were helping getting the house ready as we’d recently moved) and my DMum told me for God’s sake to stop putting curtains up and have a bath to relax for a bit while they did it - contractions were about every 10 minutes at this stage and still not strong enough to need paracetamol or anything. I was really expecting agony but it just wasn’t like that, more like muscles working hard for a tough work out - obvious, but not painful.

At 3pm they started to get uncomfortable so I took some paracetamol and walked about as my back was aching. Phoned DH and said to get the first train after school and be ready to go to hospital as contractions were now every 5 minutes and lasting longer. DMum drove me to get DH from the station and then took us on to hospital. We phoned the hospital at this stage to say I was ready to come in (contractions every 2 minutes, couldn’t work out how long for because every time one started I forgot to count! Your brain goes a bit weird during contractions).

Got to hospital at about 6pm (took a while for DH to get home). Was a bit uncooperative.... had the weirdest feeling that I just wanted to escape because I’d had enough of contractions by now. Kept pacing and wouldn’t stay still. Midwives said I was probably in transition - they checked me and found I was 8cm dilated! I was amazed as although contractions were weird and did hurt by this stage, it wasn’t the agony I was expecting so I thought I must have ages to go. They got me “checked in” and got the tub ready (I’d asked for a water birth - brilliant!!! My back stopped aching as I could take the weight off without feeling like I couldn’t move as I was desperate not to stay still). Had gas and air in the pool, which was great as biting on the pipe helped me push! I’m not sure how long “active labour” was as honestly, time goes all funny and your brain loses track of things. It did hurt, but not like stubbing your toe, more like getting to the end of a marathon and your pushing with muscles that are tired. But I could feel DD moving down with every contraction so, to my surprise, the pain just felt completely irrelevant, almost like it was happening to someone else and just didn’t matter. Crowning did hurt, and I found it a bit shocking as I hadn’t realised it was about to happen, but it was just a split second and then that was it, DD was out!

Basically, I couldn’t believe how straightforward it was. Hard work (dear god did I sweat, and I felt so wobbly afterwards), but really not the pain I’d been imagining.

So things that actually hurt:
Crowning - really shocking, but over and done with in less than a second, and I’ve spoken to other women that didn’t find it painful (midwife said I was probably pushing too hard and should have stopped pushing and panted, but I didn’t realise it was about to happen)
Getting inspected afterwards - I made such a fuss about this that DH laughed! I had “grazing” and a small tear from when DD crowned and they wanted to check if it needed stitches. I did NOT appreciate two midwives poking and prodding while I felt sore!

Long term effects - having a wee really stung for 2 days. Like getting something on a paper cut. Lots of women say get a jug to pour on and dilute wee, I personally ran an inch of water in the bath and peed in that! I felt oddly “roomy” for a week or two. Didn’t feel like sex until 5 weeks, but was amazed that it didn’t hurt. It did feel a bit different, a bit looser. By 3 months it was completely back to normal. No urinary incontinence or anything like that.

Really would encourage you to give it a go. If anything goes wrong, they can always change plan at that stage. You’ll always hear horror stories, but most births are straight forward, and when they aren’t the midwives and doctors should know how to handle it.

Congratulations!

My labour pains started at 8am and having been on the most awesome hypnobirthing course, I was so excited and ready. We had bought a mini bottle of champagne to celebrate the moment, and it was such a special few minutes with my DH to say cheers, take a sip, before things got going!

Hypnobirthing teaches you about how your body will know what to do, and to trust the feelings and the pain, and breathe with them. They are ‘good’ pains that are bringing you nearer to your baby.

My contractions got very strong very quickly. I went to a midwife-only unit to have her, and was 4cms when I arrived. They filled the birth pool for me and it felt soooo good getting in.

My contractions were so intense I did ask to have a stronger medecine like Pethidone, but they explained I’d have to get out of the water for that, and I refused, it was too nice in there! Amazingly after just 5 hours, and about 20 mins of pushing, she was born. I had a tiny tear and she breast fed straight away.

As lots of people will say, research some hypnobirthing and get educated - birth is such a privilege, it’s seriously tough but empowering too - im so looking forward to doing it all again!!

I was induced at 41+4 with my first, gel at 8.30,then another lot of gel at 12.30 waters broke at 4.30, painful contractions from this point on, gas and air, pethedine about 10pm, son born at 22.55. I had two 2nd degree tears, didnt feel them happen, stitching wasnt that bad, was more mental fear. It was a good birth in my opinion. What I would suggest is that you do read up and expose your self to birth as I wasnt realy informed how bad contractions were, I'd liken it to the feeling of heaving to be sick but the other way obviously and it can be quite frightening as you do not have control of your body.

Was charging around like I'd never had a baby within four days of giving birth. I remember jumping the last five stairs straight into the living room. I had to give myself a mental slap, and remind myself I'd just had a baby and was supposed to be feeling sore and resting whenever the baby slept.

Hi OP, FTM here, I gave birth to DD in January.

My waters broke at 2pm, 2 days after my due date. My midwife advised me to carry on as normal, keep active and try to sleep(!) if I could. DH and I took the dogs out for a long walk and I sorted out my horses. Around 8pm, strong, irregular contractions started and I went to the MLU around midnight. After being examined, I was only 1cm and was sent home - I could have cried - but having learned some techniques to breathe through the contractions, I felt much more reassured.
Contractions continued to be painful yet irregular so I was called back to the hospital at 2pm the next day. I was now classed as "high risk" because my waters had gone but regular contractions hadn't, so my hopes for a calm, water birth on the MLU were dashed.

After an examination, it seemed only my hind waters had gone. The plan was to break my waters and then induce me, however after my waters were broken, I went into labour with regular, 3 minute apart contractions fairly quickly.

I ended up having an epidural, which I didn't plan or want originally, but it was the best thing ever. I sat up in bed, listened to music and chatted with DH and my midwife for most of my labour.

I laboured for 9 hours and pushed for 8 minutes.

My experience was nothing but positive despite not being the birth I had planned. The midwife who delivered DD was kind, compassionate, empathetic and empowering.

My best advice would be to just "go with it." Trust the midwives, they are brilliant. Good luck, you will be fine

I was induced really overdue and terrified that it would lead to “cascade of interventions” and days of agony ending in c section. In reality the baby must have been ready because the gel worked really well - had a fantastic water birth within 3 hours of my first contraction with gas and air for the last 30 mins. I had a second degree tear but it healed really quickly and I’ve had no lasting effects. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I’m pregnant again and if anything am more nervous this time as not sure the birth could live up to how good the last one was.

I had a nice birth experience :)
Woke up about 9am with a 'show', went for a coffee and walk around the shops with mild contractions.
About 6pm they started to get more intense and I went to the hospital about 10pm. Contractions were coming every 5 mins, then I got in the birthing pool. Midwife turned the lights off and decided to use a torch instead :D
I had a bit of gas and air and after a few good pushes baby was born about 2am (we dont know the exact time because nobody noted it down lol)
I found the contractions painful but not unbearable. I had a minor tear and a few stitches but nothing major. Everything seems ok down the now.
The worst bit for me was peeing afterwards :D it stings like hell!
Overall for me it was a very positive experience. I'd just recommend you to clue up on all your options but dont go in with a set in stone plan, be as open minded to what might happen as you can.
I hope it all goes ok for you

Mine was absolutely fine. First contraction at midnight, went to hospital at 4pm, was given gas and air and gave birth at 6pm. Went home the next morning. That's all there was to it.

Don't panic OP, it's not all doom and gloom and chainsaw massacre

My first labour was a very positive experience. I was 39+4, and woke at 3am when my waters broke with a pop! I rang the maternity ward, they arrange me for me to come in around 9am to be checked over. I tried to go back to sleep for a bit. At this point I wasn’t having any contractions. We went to hospital as arranged, they checked to make sure it was my waters that had gone (it was) but I was sent home as still wasn’t in labour. We pottered around, went to the supermarket, bought some nice food! I started with mild contractions around lunchtime, which gradually got stronger. I had a tens machine, which I remember putting on around midday. I basically laboured at home, with the tens machine and doing things like walking up and down stairs, leaning over chairs, but focusing on staying upright and active to encourage baby into the best position (they did think she’d gone back to back at the hospital check in the morning). By 3:30pm I was in established labour and we rang the labour ward again. They listened to a contraction or two over the phone and said to come in and be checked. We lived approx 20 minutes from hospital, so got there just after 4pm. When we got into our room, they asked if I’d like a cervical exam, which they did, and found I was fully dilated. My body was then pushing itself, I didn’t have to ‘push’ myself. Baby was born at 5:10pm, less than an hour after getting to hospital. I had a small tear, which was stitched, and we spent 24 hours in hospital, in a ‘family’ room so my husband was able to stay with us. We only stayed that long as baby wasn’t fussed about latching on to feed, so they wanted to make sure we’d managed it at least once before letting us go!

My second baby was born at home, happy to talk about that one too if you’d like to hear it!

Sorry, nothing helpful to add but just to say thank you OP for starting this thread and everyone who’s contributing to it - I’m 33 weeks and a first timer and these stories are sort of lovely! Especially @crazychemist, love that you took the time to write all that our

Baby 1 - 37+5

Went to work as normal but had a slight leak of fluid at 8am. Was checked out at hospital nearest work and they said I wasn't in labour.

Contractions were regular but bearable by tea time so spent the evening in the bath.

Went to hospital at 2am at 5cm, and had gas and air but dilation slowed. Carried on like that until lunchtime when they started hormone drip.

Had epidural so I could sleep and then pushed for about 15 mins. Baby born at 4.30pm. Some tearing but not serious. Recovery was fine.

Baby 2: 39+1

Stop start labour over 2-3 days. Eventually went in when contractions were 3 in 10 but contractions stopped so was discharged.

Went back in at about 7pm when they were clearly not stopping. Transpired that the baby was head down but turned to the side so wasn't putting enough pressure on my cervix. Was given pethidine and gas and air and told to sleep. Was adamant I wanted an epidural once she had turned.

She turned within the hour but I had also gone from 4-9cm in that time so couldn't have the epidural. Pushed for about 30 mins and she was out. Old tears reopened as I had expected but again, no issues. It was sore but you get through it.

My daughter’s birth was an amazing experience. I was a FTM and had a long history of recurrent miscarriage. Couldn’t have been more anxious about things, and was consultant led due to my history so no lovely water birth/midwife led unit birth for me. Was meant to be induced at 40 weeks and was in and out for reduced movement at the end. Constantly worried.

Despite all that, I did hypnobirthing and read Ina May’s guide to childbirth, both of which made me feel so much more in tune with the idea that childbirth is natural and that we are designed to do it. I’d recommend both.

Labour started naturally at 38+5, progressed quickly and my body and instinct took over. I was experiencing mild regular contractions at 10pm (ate a sandwich, bounced on a birthing ball and wondered if this was it). Spent some time in the bath, waters broke, body rejected all contents (in hindsight the sandwich was a bad idea) and by 2am I was in full on labour and my daughter was born just after 4am with a pretty speedy exit. I felt exhilarated and overjoyed and like I’d conquered the world. It was painful but manageable, and I had one minor scratch with three stitches needed.

It can go well, even when the odds are stacked against it. Good luck.

I was already in hospital to be induced. Small amount of discomfort at the beginning (watched Wimbledon ) pains grew around 10pm and my daughter was born around 3am. No stitches and I felt as if I could have run a race! Just gas and air. I was an elderly first mum but did lots of stretching and yoga. Good Luck!

My first labour happened spontaneously at 38+1, no idea it was happening until my waters broke, got to hospital 2 hours later 7cm dilated and baby born after 30mins of pushing 6 hours later. All in 8 hours and I actually enjoyed the experience. Worst part was getting stitches as I had a 2nd degree tear. Now 36+1 with baby no 2 and cant wait to do it all again, hoping for a home birth this time round

Please do not let people scare you with their horror stories, this is a pet peeve of mine. I know ever labour is very different and unfortunately some experiences arent great but being pregnant is scary enough without traumatizing yourself before hand. I really hope you have a lovely birth experience and wish you all the best with the remained of your pregnancy

Like you OP I was very anxious with my first having heard (and read) so many horror stories. In the end it couldn't have been easier. I had an epidural, a fastish labour (7 and a half hours), and a quick birth - a few sets of three pushes and she was out. Very similar experience with my second except labour was even shorter. I have really great memories of both births and wish I hadn't wasted so much time worrying about it. My advice would be to do some ante natal classes at wherever you are booked in so you will know what to expect, listen to your midwife - they really know their stuff - and take whatever pain relief you can get. There are no awards for suffering. Good luck.

Mine was pretty straight forward. Contractions started at 2am but didn't have him til 8.30pm the following night so was a pretty long labour and I did need an epidural. The thing slowing me down was my waters didn't break naturally even though I was having bad contractions so they had to break them in the end, then it was all go.

It hurts of course. But it wouldn't ever put me off another. It's pain that's hugely rewarding and the feeling of pride after is just overwhelming. I was very proud of myself lol

Easy one here too, waters went at around 4am, got to hospital around 6/7am, contractions were barely there pain wise, just used gas and air, pushed for a while (not sure how long) they did say i might need forceps which mustve spurred me on cause she born a couple of minutes later at 3.30pm, so about 12 hours from start to finish. Small tear needed a couple of stitches.

Best thing I've ever done and I felt like a goddess afterwards......teenagers on the other hand.......!!

I was induced just with the drip and it was fine! Had gas and air and pethedine, natural delivery eg no instruments/episiotomy, the lowest grade tear which I didn't feel happen and a few stitches. Baby was over 9lb. I don't remember any pain.

I'm pregnant again and personally the thought of having my abdomen cut open, layers of fat, womb, muscle (not a medical expert!) makes me feel queasy, I'd pick a vaginal delivery.

My baby was back to back and all I read was horror story after horror story that it was going to be days long, then end up needing forceps or emergency section.
Granted, I had contractions for 36 hours. The first time I went into hospital I was having contractions every 5 mins I was 1cm. Then the 2nd time I went in I was 2cm dilated. 6 hours later i went back in as i told them i needed pain relief as i couldnt cope...I was 10cm dilated and pushing. 25 minutes later, baby was born. Just gas & air, i birthed on my hands and knees with him being back to back, no problems, no interventions, I had a few grazes and 1 small 2nd degree tear which they put 1 stitch in just incase, they were debating even stitching it. So whilst I had a long labour, I was a FTM and managed to do it all on my own at home with nothing but paracetamol. And I spent my whole time in labour reading horror stories and it was the most straight forward birth ever!

The thing is that people are more inclined to share a bad experience than they are a good one, I don't tell people about mine unless they ask. Mine was a good experience, waters started to go around 1am, first contraction at 2am, headed to the hospital fairly quickly as they were immediately 2-3 mins apart. Tried the birthing pool, but was too warm, midwife and birthing partners helped me get out of it during the pushing stage. Hugged a giant bean bag on the floor and pushed for a little while, but I wasn't the most effective pusher, so the midwife suggested I sit on the loo to bear down (she put something in it just in case) it worked and I pushed the head out, waddled back to the bean bag and one more big push and she was born at 7.17am, so just over five hours from first contraction. I used hypnobirthing breathing techniques to keep me calm throughout. The only negative was that every time I had the urge to push it made me vomit, you can ask for an antiemetic drug though to stop that, wish I'd known

Hope all goes well for you

I suggest you get the Natal Hypnotherapy book and audio. I found it incredibly helpful (and it’s not ‘hippy’ and ‘crystally’ which I hate) and with it I did the birth with just gas and air. Quite straightforward. Definitely not traumatic!

Good luck to you