Jan/Feb 2021

[2020N]

Hi everyone,

I hope that I don’t upset or offend anyone with this post, it’s not my intention at all!

I’m a first time (hopefully to be) mum and I’m 33. I’m 7 weeks pregnant and found my positive at just 4 weeks, due date Jan 31st. Since then I’ve been trying to find a thread that I fit in to.

I’m quite a private person but as no one around me is pregnant, I’d like to connect with other mums to be. I know lots of people are more chatty, but some of the threads and sharing of detail sent me into a bit of an anxious loop where I dissected every twinge etc and it wasn’t healthy for me personally.

I was wondering if there’s anyone similar out there that would like to connect, as I’d love to know about your experiences and go through this journey with others too.

Again, I hope I haven’t upset anyone, as I fully get that everyone meanders through things differently.

Wishing you all a healthy journey x

It will be the same experience I'm sure. They were absolutely amazing explaining everything. I've had no support from my midwife until I have my telephone assessment in 2 weeks time. Honestly, people can queue for primark and we can't see a midwife! Ridiculous. I'll be going back private for my gender scan aswell after having such a lovely experience last week. X

@Alpacapicnic1 wow, I’m hoping for some of your energy! I’d love the motivation to clean the house 😂 my energy is coming back but not to those levels yet! Hope you’ve been able to relax this weekend, in some comfy clothes too.
Very excited to hear about your 12 week scan, I’m a little clueless what the process is but my appointment letter said allow up to 2 hours for the appointment which sounds like they must do more than I imagine! Hope it all goes well, will look forward to your update 😊

@2020N my scan isn’t till the afternoon (I need to find the email to check the time 🙈) but DP is on a night shift tonight and may or may not need a sleep after depending on how busy it is.
You’re absolutely right of course, I’ve got no reason to think anything will be wrong (and even if there was there’s nothing I can do about it) so I’ll keep thinking positively and look forward to seeing an actual baby shape! I’ll also be passing the same advice to you next week! It’s good to know we feel the same tho, and be able to share it.
I wish I could tell her and run 🙈 she’s lovely really and means well, as long as everything suits her 😂 I’m not the greatest at sticking up for myself so this feels a good challenge to set the boundaries early - it’s amazing how much more capable I feel when I’m sticking up for the baby‘s interests instead of mine 😬

Your DP is a genius with the ice packs! I’m saving that idea! You had the heat much worse down your way (we just had one day, even the dog refused to go out!) hope it’s cooled down to something a bit more comfortable now.
Gosh, that’s a great sleep! Hope you’ve felt good today for it. I’m shifting more towards 5.30 for waking which feels like a lie in of its own and it’s only half an hour until ‘normal‘ people are starting to get up 😂 do you find you need to nap in the day as well? Hope the longer sleep is a new habit anyway!

Thank you for your thoughts, it really does mean a lot - I’ll give you an update after 😊 xx

@Mrsmorton17

I’m sorry you’ve had so little from your midwife. Where abouts are you based? They’re all running differently aren’t they, but it does seem quite a wait for your booking appt. I’m glad that you’ve found a private clinic though that gives you a great experience. Ah lovely that you’ll find out the gender. Is this your first baby or do you have other children? x

@Mandalory

What’s the betting that you’re all up and ready to go to the appointment already?? 😉 I know I would be!

It’s cooled down a little now with the rain but it’s still so stuffy. We’ve bought a fan for the bedroom, but that has just invited our beagle to hog the cool air so not much relief from that! 🤣

I’ve had another good sleep last night, less achy legs and fidgets so hopefully I’ve passed that as you say! I haven’t been napping much, but I did have one yesterday (which makes no sense as it was the longest sleep I’ve had in 5 weeks! 🤷🏻‍♀️) 😂 ‘Half hour until normal people’ - it definitely helps that it’s light out doesn’t it, I’m sure we’d feel much worse waking that early in the dark.

Looking forward to your update! Keep yourself busy until the appt and hoping that all goes well! x

I'm in County Durham. You're right, they must all be working so differently. It will be my first baby x

@Mrsmorton17 Congratulations! Hopefully things might start to change with the midwife appointments in your area soon x

Just a very quick message to say our scan was amazing 🥰 wriggling around and even gave us a wave! 😂 so overwhelming and happy. I’ll come back and write properly when I get a chance, but just wanted to say thank you for all your kind words 😊
Oh, and we’ve gained a few more days since the last scan... now at 10+5 😬 (LMP would be 10 weeks, first scan put us at 10+3 so growing very well 😊)

Hope you’ve all had a lovely day xx

@Mandalory

Ah, amazing news! And a great scan pic too! So happy for you, and fab that baby is growing nicely. 😊 👏🏻 x

@Alpacapicnic1 I hope that all goes well at your 12 weeks scan! 😊 x

Hello ladies - best possible outcome of my 12 week scan yesterday. My baby is looking well and measuring 12+2. We are so thrilled to get to this stage without any issues, it's such a huge relief and can't stop smiling and staring at scan pic (despite it being blurry). Can't wait to tell the rest of our friends and family now (some already know)!!!

The appointment itself however, was a really dissapointing experience in comparison to my private scan. I hope I just got unlucky and that the rest of my antenatal care will be better. I had to wait for 55mins for the scan, having had a pint of water before as advised. No communication about the delay, and there were so many other mums-to-be there so the waiting area was really crammed (had to stand to socially distance at one point). I enquired a couple of times at reception about how long it would be as ladies who arrived after me were being seen first (multiple clinics running) and I was sooo desperate for the toilet. No help from reception. No acknowledgement from sonographer about delay when finally seen. Then I was told my bladder was TOO FULL and obscuring view of baby's head by overcast/shadow? so asked to go empty a little bit, twice, and felt like I'd done something wrong by following their advice. I did make a point of saying that had my appt been closer to the scheduled time, I might not have been so full/busting!!!!

Then another 45+ min wait to see midwife afterwards. So I was there for an epic 2hrs 40mins!

DH (a headstrong Dr) was upset afterwards that the initial wait for scan was that long as holding bladder, poor communication throughout and clearly incorrect/non-individualised advice about water intake (given they got me to empty bladder and said this is because I'm slim?!?). He now wants to look into having private antenatal care. Tbh, it's a good job he wasn't allowed in really - he would have really kicked up a fuss 😂

It's sad as I know how busy NHS staff get, I'm an NHS worker myself. But if I was running my clinic that late, I'd at least spare a thought for my patients, and keep them informed and acknowledge this. It's really bad practice to not.

None of this detracts from how magical it was to see my baby again though 💞

Afternoon ladies 😊

After a couple of rubbish nights of sleep I’m really not feeling at my best today... but I’m not working this week so I’m having a lazy sofa day and not feeling guilty at all!

@2020N I was absolutely ready to go hours before the scan! It was the longest day waiting until it was time to go but worth every second for the moment they turned in the screens. Both me and DP were in tears, amazing seeing our tiny baby jumping around by itself. It was lay with it’s back to mine so trying to catch it mid leap for a profile shot wasn’t easy 😂
Only 5 days now until yours 🥰 knowing how it feels I’m so excited for you!

Hope you’re still managing to keep up the improved sleep, it’s amazing what wonders it does. How are your other symptoms? I don’t think I’m going to deflate from the bloat now 🙈

Aww, a cheeky beagle! Dogs always pick the best spots for themselves, our dog’s favourite place this year has been on the garden sofa when we have the cushions out. Of course we put them there for her... 🙄😂 xx

@Alpacapicnic1 that’s brilliant news 🥰 so pleased that all is good and a lovely picture as well - I know what you mean about being obsessed with gazing at it!!
Shame about your experience as a whole though, I did wonder why they said 2 hours, seems as though that’s mostly for waiting 🤨L😣 especially when you’re there with a full bladder... I’m slim too and it seems that in itself ‘helps’ get a clear picture (first scan I took the full bladder advice to the limit and was bursting, Sunday I was a bit more sensible 😂).
Did the midwife do your bloods etc too? Have you had any done previously or was this your first non-telephone appt? I really hope it was a one off bad experience and that going forward, especially with lockdown lifting, things may get a little more personal, although I think we’ve been spoiled by the private experience and now I’m overly optimistic... it’s such an anxious time and even little things like you said with letting people know about the wait can really make a difference. I know they are so busy and (most) are trying to do their best tho. Glad your DH is looking out for you 😊
Of course even the worst patient service could never take away the magic of seeing your baby and knowing that all is well 🥰 thank you so much for sharing your experience xx

Hi ladies

Well we went for our private scan last night in the end & all was really good - baby was measuring a week ahead at 11 weeks as opposed to the 10 x weeks I thought I was yesterday based on LMP giving me a new EDD of 19th January, which is super exciting. (Although I still don’t really understand the logistics of this - nature’s miracle?!).
I didn’t sleep the night before the scan & was having negative thoughts all weekend thinking of what may be, my symptoms are minimal at most now & the afternoon before the scan convinced myself I wasn’t actually pregnant & had maybe imagined the whole thing. Absolute pure joy when I actually saw our baby, (between bursts of verging on hysterical crying which really messed up the picture 🙈). I don’t think I was aware just how much like a baby it would look like as well 😍 it all feels so real now !! I’m still just bursting with relief combined with (still) just absolute disbelief that I am growing a human! I can’t stop looking at the scan picture.

It was all a bit of a blur to be honest & I didnt ask the questions I wanted to do - so does anyone know, if baby measuring 11 x weeks yesterday, this is what I go by now?? So next Tuesday I will be 12 weeks (hopefully!) ???

I feel so relieved, although in a strange way more anxious now I know baby is safe, like I need to do more to protect him now 🙈Im now getting paranoid about lifting stuff or exerting myself too much! I guess this is just motherhood ?!

@Alpacapicnic1 as a worrier it’s good to hear how your 12 x week scan went to prepare myself for all eventualities. Sorry it was a bit of a shitty experience, it’s disappointing to say the least. Knowing I need to pee almost constantly atm I didn’t drink nearly as much as the recommended amount at my scan last night & it was fine, has made me realise their water intake guidance is possibly designed for non pregnant women with better bladders than mine!
So glad your baby is doing well & you’ve hit the magic milestone 🤗 can I be random & ask what your next appointment is? My midwife told me after the scan my next appointment would be to see her at 16 x weeks but then I had a letter thro yesterday to attend the antenatal clinic at the hospital the Monday after my scan, it says I will see the doctor & they will review the results of the tests I’ve had so far & states “this visit may be lengthy”...so I’m confused now!

@Mandalory so glad your scan went well & glad it’s not just me who got overcome with emotion. (DH didn’t so much as shed a tear 😤). We’ve already agreed I’m going to be such an embarrassing mum. Do we have similar due dates now?

@2020N not long to go now for you for your private scan 🤗🤗 the countdown is on! You must be counting the seconds! I literally cannot wait for you!

DH now wants to tell everyone this weekend, when by the scan dates I’ll be 11+4. I’m still anxious over telling people until I’ve had my NHS scan, what are you all doing ? I don’t know what it is that’s making me not want to tell people yet but I just feel like I like the closeness of it being just mine & DH secret for now & we’ve just told one close friend each so far. I’ve also always been one for not telling people good news till the last minute lest I jinx it. He has a v large family & once we tell one, they will all know (even if we ask them not to), FIL won’t be able to help himself.

@Alpacapicnic1 Fantastic that you’ve had a great scan outcome - your scan pic is fab! Share away with the fantastic news, you’ve had to keep schtum for long enough!

I’m sorry to hear that the appointment was a let down, hopefully it was a blip and the others will be much more positive for you x

@Mandalory No guilt trips here! If you’re feeling tired and bleurgh, take that much needed chill time!

I’m so glad that your experience was everything you wanted, how funny that baby was full of beans! You might have some interesting action shot scan pictures coming up! 😂

I’m sleeping so much better thank you. All other symptoms seem to have subsided sort from the constant trips to the bathroom and tender breasts. My bloat is still there too, I’ve succumbed to dresses for the time being, lucky that the weather is warm!

Haha your dog sounds like ours, we put the cushions out just for her too. 🙈 x

@SparklingPinot Lovely scan pic! So pleased that everything is looking good, a closer due date is always a bonus! Ah what a relief for you after your worrying night, keep looking at the scan picture! You can let yourself believe it’s real now. 😊

I think you go off that now and then see what the measurements are at the next scan. And yep, I think one worry just switches out for another unfortunately! 🤣

I think it’s entirely your choice. If you’re waiting for just the NHS scan then I wouldn’t worry too much about the short gap and go for it and share your news! If you’re waiting for any test results (if having any) then that’s when I’d probably wait to share news, but it is completely a personal choice, and depends on how much you’re ready to burst with the news already!

I don’t really want to bring down the mood, as I’m so happy for you all and your fantastic scan news! We’ve had a rather shitty week in all honesty, and I’ve been referred to the EPAU tomorrow, which I’ve got to attend on my own, so feeling sick to the stomach ☹️. I don’t want to hope for the best or prepare for the worst, so a bit in limbo, what will be will be I guess x

Thanks ladies 😊

I certainly won't be following any further water intake guidance prior to scans this pregnancy, or if I get lucky enough in the future, given that both my 8 wk and 12wk abdominal scans were done successfully on empty bladder 🤦

I've been struggling with sleep too @Mandalory, I think we have progesterone to thank for that. Hope you manage to get a good night soon! You have a lovely scan pic and how brilliant to get a wave from your wriggling little one 😄. Yes I had my bloods done with midwife following scan, blood pressure and weight/height for BMI. They used BMI as basis to produce a predicted growth chart for me, so that they can plot growth measurements at future appts and check which percentile I'm in growth wise. And I got my perinatal notes pack to take home and asked to bring back to subsequent appointments.

Lovely scan pic too @sparklingpinot, and how great that you are further along than you thought. Not long until the 12 wk milestone now!! I was given my 20 week scan appointment at the hospital and told that my next appt at 16 weeks with community midwives would be telephone, and given their number to call to arrange this. I called and they have me on their list to offer appt, but asked if I could call a week before 16wks to check the date/time of the appt. I got a letter for my booking appt at 8weeks, so not sure why I arrange it this time, but fair enough as long as it happens!
X

Ohhhhh @2020N I am so very sorry to hear of your shitty week. Please know you are in my thoughts & let us know how you get on - sorry you have to go through this alone.

@2020N I pressed post then before I meant to 🤦🏻‍♀️ Who knew you couldn’t delete a post off mumsnet! 🤷🏻‍♀️Meant to say also, I’m thinking positive thoughts for you. ❤️

@2020N I just caught up with your message... I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a difficult week but don’t be daft, there’s no bringing the mood down, we’re here to share in every bit of this journey and I’m sure we all understand the anxiety you must be feeling. Share as much or as little as you like, but know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you all the very best today. I’m so sorry you have to go in alone 😕 staying in limbo is your mind’s way of taking care of yourself but I hope you get some positive news soon. Here any time 💞 xx

@Alpacapicnic1 thank you, it’s so helpful to hear what to expect, especially since this will be the first face to face appointment. Did they update your EDD? I didn’t know they estimated growth from BMI, I’m a little worried with how big this baby could end up as DP is so tall and was big (long!) at birth. I’ve no idea at what point genetics start coming into play with baby size! 🤔 xx

@SparklingPinot congratulations, beautiful scan pic! 🥰 I think the official EDD will come from the 12 week scan but until then I’m counting from the scan I’ve had rather than LMP, which makes me due 19th Jan too! 😍 So happy we share the date!! I’m not sure if the NHS will update it if it’s within a few days? I’m measuring 5 days ahead of LMP and hoping they’ll update! When’s your 12 week scan? xx

@SparklingPinot and @Mandalory Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts, it really means a lot to me. It was awful going in alone, but I’m so over the moon and happy to say that baby is absolutely fine and a little heartbeat was flickering away. I’ve never felt relief like it!!! I’ve been having off an on bleeding during week 6, week 8 and then this again week; I’ve been trying to stay positive throughout but this week was particularly tough and frightening. According to my dates I should be 9+4 today but they have dated me at 8+2, but as long as baby is fine I’ll take whatever date they give me! Have to monitor and may need further investigation of my cervix further down the line if it continues, which it might throughout 😒, but it isn’t harming baby at all so that’s all that matters! So, so happy right now! Thank you ladies for your support x x

That is such good news @2020N!! So relieved for you, and wonderful that your baby is doing ok. Seeing heartbeat flicker is amazing and makes it feel so real.

It must be so incredibly scary to have bleeding during pregnancy, and so great that they were able to scan you to check all is ok. My best friend had bleeding a lot in first trimester and has her baby now so it all turned out fine. I can't even imagine how scary that must be though tbh, as I freaked out and called EPU due to bloody discharge (sorry TMI!!) a couple of weeks ago and the midwife who phoned me back was so so reassuring and really normalised it which helped to calm me down (I'd gotten myself really worked up/frantic and tearful fearing the worse).

Hopefully now you can feel more relaxed with less worry now. Though I'm not sure the worry ever leaves us fully regardless of what stage we're at. But we're all here to support and please don't feel that you can't share the good, bad and the ugly!!!
Sending love and light 💐

Thank you @Alpacapicnic1

It really is such a reassurance, and the ladies in the unit were so lovely and kind. Definitely feeling a lot lighter now, and at least for the time being I know that the little peanut is happily oblivious to it all. Feel stronger to move forwards with whatever comes next.

Thank you for the support and kind words x

@2020N so pleased to read your update, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I can’t believe you’ve had that worry for so long, I don’t think I could have held out like you have! Amazing to know that baby is there and doing just fine 🥰 I wouldn’t worry about the measurements/dates, you’re over 8 weeks with a healthy heartbeat 😊 Dates are only estimates so early on, the dating scan is timed around 12 weeks for a reason!
Do you still have a scan on Sunday for you and DP to go to? That will be amazing to see together and help you both feel more reassured 😊
Remember there’s always someone here to listen and support for anything that might help if shared (if you choose to of course). Definitely in this together and I’m pretty sure no one gets it better than ladies here who are all worrying and fearing the same. Hope you can relax a little this evening and find a nice treat 🧁 xx

Thank you so much @Mandalory. I’ve tried to avoid reading too much into anything and have just kept in touch with my midwife and gone from her experience - I’m more of a ‘better with details’ kind of person so didn’t want to air anything out loud until I knew what was going on x

Thank you for your wise words about measurements/dates, you’re exactly right. We’re still going for the scan on Sunday (I can relax and enjoy that one now!) but also I’ve had the reassurance of seeing baby on screen and seeing that all important flicker so want the same for OH as it’s important to me that he gets that reassurance too, he’s been so great and supportive.

Thank you, it really feels nice to have you ladies to go through it all with together. I treated myself to a vimto (not really drinking fizzy drinks!) and some salt and vinegar Pringles 🤣 - rock & roll lifestyle! Ha! x

Ahhhh @2020N I’m so happy for you. ☺️☺️☺️ I can very much imagine how traumatic these past few weeks have been for you.

@Alpacapicnic1 thanks so much for your account. I didn’t know they measured predicted growth like this & its good to hear someone’s recent experiences. I’m just so excited for mine now!!

@Mandalory my 12 week scan is on 16th July when I’ll be 13+2 now. Then a follow up appointment at the hospital on Monday 20th, still not really worked out what for. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hope everyone has something exciting planned this weekend. Yet again I don’t! 😂 DHs friends all going to the pub tomo, I feel really bad because he asked me if I’d feel okay about him going & I said (obviously) not really but it’s his choice, so of course he’s not going. He’s a very bubbly social kind of guy so I feel a bit sorry for him having to miss out. I feel like it’s going to be a tough couple of months for all us preggos whilst we see how things are going to go in terms of the pandemic.

Thank you @SparklingPinot 😊

My midwife has booked me in for an appointment after the 12 week scan mud-August (though I haven’t got the date for the scan first 🤔😂) to talk through results of bloods etc, could that be what your second appt might be too?

I went and ordered myself a new car yesterday and we have our private scan tomorrow 👏🏻 nothing exciting planned for today though.

Ah it’s tough isn’t it, I’d be the same as you though, pubs will be horrendous today! There’ll be plenty of opportunities for your OH to visit the pubs and re-socialise when normality resumes. Could he FaceTime them tonight to be a little part of it? I’m still living the ‘stay home’ lockdown life even though things are beginning to open up X