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15 month age gap - reassurance please!

57 replies

Gabbbbbbby · 17/05/2020 11:01

I've just found out I'm pregnant, probably only about 6 weeks so very early days. I've also got a 6.5 month old! Before people jump on me for being stupid, I am pleased and obviously knew this could happen, we weren't using protection. However, we had to do IVF to have DS after trying for a long time, and I'm full time breastfeeding, so we thought the chances were very slim! As I said, I'm pleased, but also a bit terrified about having a newborn and a 15 month old. And a bit embarrassed about going back to work from maternity leave heavily pregnant!
I'd love to hear any comforting stories about others' similar experiences? Any practical advice? No horror stories/scaremongering please 😬

OP posts:
BabyDust13 · 17/05/2020 11:20

I don't have any experience so can't be much help but just wanted to say congratulations sounds like a lovely age gap to me

Gabbbbbbby · 17/05/2020 11:33

Aw thanks @BabyDust13! After such a journey to have DS, it does feel pretty special 😁 I also remember the newborn stage very well, I think that's where the terror comes from 😂😂😂

OP posts:
newbienewbie20 · 17/05/2020 11:39

It's amazing, yes will be tough initially but once the close age gap is wonderful in the long run. I have two with a similar gap and they are (for the most part) the best of friends. It also meant they were typically at a similar stage interest wise so family trips and outings were easy to please both in one go! The older one will also not remember life without their sibling so jealousy does not factor so much.

Congratulations 💐💕enjoy the ride!

BabyDust13 · 17/05/2020 11:44

I've only just found out I'm pregnant with my first so I have all that to look forward too x

BeMorePacific · 17/05/2020 11:47

It is way more common that you think! There is 18months between me and my sister and we’re best friends. A few scrapes in our teenage years, but I’m so happy we’re close. Congratulations xx

SpacePug · 17/05/2020 11:47

Aww congratulations! IlI am pregnant with my second and my DS is currently 17 months so bigger age gap than yours. My DH and DSIL there was only 11 months between them and still as adults they are really close and have a lot of shared interests. I think it will be nice and you are getting the baby stage out the way all in one go

Gabbbbbbby · 17/05/2020 11:59

Thanks everyone! Feels quite nice to be congratulated as we're not telling friends and family just yet! I'm definitely excited for them to be close friends hopefully. And yes, nice to get the nappy, weaning stage all out the way in one go. Plus I don't need to pack away all the baby stuff now!

Congratulations @BabyDust13 and @SpacePug!!
@BabyDust13 I don't mean to scare you! It's such an amazing, magical time - you'll love it

OP posts:
Onone · 17/05/2020 12:09

I’m going to say it tough,dd is 5 ds is 4,they do nothing but argue

BabyDust13 · 17/05/2020 12:15

@Gabbbbbbby thank you x

Em39ma · 17/05/2020 12:40

@Gabbbbbbby I’m 6 weeks pregnant with a 7 months old, so we can do it together.

Gabbbbbbby · 17/05/2020 13:33

Ah @Em39ma that's great, we should definitely stay in touch so we can compare notes! I've found my antenatal group so supportive with having my first, it would be great to have something similar for the second baby.

OP posts:
BabyDust13 · 17/05/2020 13:40

@Gabbbbbbby I'm hoping to have 2 close together if I'm lucky enough. I can't wait for all the craziness that's coming

chylerv · 17/05/2020 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whattheactualfuckery · 17/05/2020 13:51

I have a 10 month age gap. Didn't bother me telling work, I like you had struggled to get pregnant with the eldest, so I saw it as a blessing. You'll be fine, you'll learn comebacks to people's ignorance

THNG5 · 17/05/2020 13:52

Congrats! There are 13 months between my first 2, number 2 being a bit of a surprise! They are now 3 years old and 2 years old and very close. Fight like cats and dogs but also play together so can't complain! I've also got a nearly one year old and am pregnant with number 4, this baby being a miracle as I had my tubes cut and tied during my c section with number 3! I did feel a fool going into work and telling them I was pregnant again! There were a few jokes thrown about...
I'm due in August and at that point, I'll have a 4 year old, nearly 3 year old, 15 month old and newborn 😱
The only tips I can give is be organized and prioritise the needs if both little ones are crying!

doughnutmuffin · 17/05/2020 14:39

I'm due in September and there will be 18 months of a gap, excited and terrified at the same time. I do think it'll be worth it as if I left it 4/5 year I personally wouldn't want to go through the new born state again

motherofsnortpigs · 17/05/2020 14:57

My family was like @THNG5 They are now 14, nearly 13, 10 and nearly 9. (There is also a 4yo and one due in Nov).

We are fairly organised but I am hideously untidy. And I live with hoarders (personally I love chucking stuff out - which is why we no longer have a pram - whoops).

Two close together is loads of fun, but remember to take photos and videos as you are so —tired— in the moment, that it’s hard to remember much from one day to the next.

istheresomethingwrongwithme · 17/05/2020 16:21

There 20 months between my two DS's, so not quite the same but still a fairly small age gap. They are 1 and nearly 3 now. The first year was hard but I'm really enjoying them now. They have now started to interact properly with each other and whilst they aren't playing together as such, they will sit and look at the same toys together, Chase each other round the garden and things like that. It's really sweet to watch.

I found it hardest once DS2 was crawling - it was like toddler fight club! DS1 was just obsessed with him and just on his case the whole time. I threatened to put stair gates on the kitchen and sitting room doors with a child in each room whilst I sat in the hall between them.

You'll be fine. Maybe you'll find the same things that I found hard difficult, maybe not, but I think the close age gap will pay off for you. Just be prepared to let your standards drop a bit at first!

RoLaren · 17/05/2020 16:51

20 months between my two eldest, and now they're 4 and 3 it's fabulous. Playing together, encouraging speech and plenty of wrestling/play fighting, sorry, physical development. Very useful since I now have a clingy 6 month old!

BabyDancer · 17/05/2020 21:39

There's 20 months between me and my middle sister. I loved it growing up!

Naji · 17/05/2020 23:08

@Gabbbbbbby congratulations Hun! my two DD are 17 months apart. It was a big shock to me when I found out as i still getting to grips with being a first time mum. And I went back to work heavily pregnant and had to tell them I'll only be coming back for 3 months only. It wasn't an ideal situation but my manager was really supportive.

Not going to lie at first I found it difficult to manage a newborn and a toddler so I would suggest that you put together a list of things or easy to pull out activities that you can get out to occupy your toddler when you're having to tend to your newborn. My eldest DD was so clingy at first and Daddy did take on a lot more responsibility with her which is probably why she is a daddy's girl now! Lol. But it's wonderful when they get older because they just play together all the time and keep each other company especially now in the current situation of staying at home. I feel so lucky to have them. Couldn't have it any other way. Don't worry you'll be fine. Also before the baby arrived, I spoke about with the my DD and got her a present from the baby which helped. They will want mummy more when they see you with a baby so I used to spend regular one on ones with her to make her feel like I hadn't forgotten about her and she was still my baby girl. Good luck Hun x

RandomMess · 17/05/2020 23:18


I had 14 months between my middle two and it was/is my favourite age gap and they older teens now.

DeeCeeCherry · 17/05/2020 23:46

I had PCOS was put on Clomid & fell pregnant with DD1. When she was 7 months old I fell pregnant again, this time naturally. I found it hard at 1st (I used to read about parents with 2 under 5s & think no way, I couldn't deal with that) but got through it. Now they're in their 20s they're still close and it's lovely. Yeah going back to work pregnant again and dealing with the 'oh wow' comments are something else🙂. Enjoy it OP you'll be fine, I'm glad I had mine close together, DD2 was a beautiful surprise. Anyway there's almost the same gap between me and my younger brother

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/05/2020 00:02

I have two 13 months apart, they are now 19 and 18. Similar situation to yourself but without the ivf. 4 years to conceive DS1 - lots of investigations but got pregnant naturally in the end. Also breastfeeding but not taking precautions, we wanted a shortish gap and figured that if we started then, even if it took 4 years again it wouldn't be too bad.

I'm not going to lie, there were some exhausting times but in the main they have got on well and had similar interests and hobbies so that helped. Was told by scouts that they were the first set of siblings that not only wanted to share a tent when camping, they were ones that they were happy to allow it as they shared friends and looked after each other.

Honestly, the moment that they actually start to engage with each other, your heart will melt.

You just need to watch for the guilt of first born not getting their chance to be a baby for long. I think the benefit of having a close sibling outweighs that.

They still get on although their interests and friends diverged in later high school and now at separate Unis.

DramaAlpaca · 18/05/2020 00:06

Congratulations! I've 16 months between my first two. I also got pregnant while still breastfeeding, but was very pleased about it as it had taken ages to conceive DC1. I won't deny that two so close in age is tough, but it's so worth it. Mine are best friends and really close still as young adults. It was a bit embarrassing going back after maternity leave obviously already pregnant again - but work soon got over it Grin

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