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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

15 month age gap - reassurance please!

57 replies

Gabbbbbbby · 17/05/2020 11:01

I've just found out I'm pregnant, probably only about 6 weeks so very early days. I've also got a 6.5 month old! Before people jump on me for being stupid, I am pleased and obviously knew this could happen, we weren't using protection. However, we had to do IVF to have DS after trying for a long time, and I'm full time breastfeeding, so we thought the chances were very slim! As I said, I'm pleased, but also a bit terrified about having a newborn and a 15 month old. And a bit embarrassed about going back to work from maternity leave heavily pregnant!
I'd love to hear any comforting stories about others' similar experiences? Any practical advice? No horror stories/scaremongering please 😬

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Gabbbbbbby · 18/05/2020 08:32

Thanks so much everyone, this is making me feel excited to see them become really close in the future. I'm not the most organised person, so I think I'll have to put some things in place so it doesn't turn into too much of a madhouse...

Thanks for all your advice x

OP posts:
orangetangerines · 18/05/2020 08:34

Ahhhh someone else in the same boat as me!! DD is just 5 months old and i'm 5 weeks tomorrow! Contraception failure (on both but we won't tell DD thatGrin) hope you're feeling good xx

begoniapot · 18/05/2020 08:38

My sisters 2 girls are 11 months apart, and she manages really well. Kids are great friends.
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉

fool11 · 18/05/2020 08:39

Congratulations! 12m between me and my sister and it was great growing up together, similar age. YOu will enjoy it once they are 3+ as they will keep each other company, play together, first year will be probably tough, but it will go quickly..hope all goes well for you.

Em39ma · 19/05/2020 13:43

I started to bleed yesterday, went to the hospital today.
Found a sac but seems to be empty. Got to wait and see if there’s any growth between now and next Tuesday.

WeveGottaGetTherouxThis · 19/05/2020 13:47

I’ve got 16 months between mine (DD is 6 and DS is 5) and they are the best of friends. They are genuinely inseparable.

The first year was incredibly tough, but it’s really worth it. I managed to get my two napping at the same time over lunch and that helped me so much. Best of luck & congratulations. X

Hannah9176 · 19/05/2020 14:31

Ah I'm pleased I've found people in a similar position! I'm almost 9 weeks pregnant with a 7 month old DD. Excited but terrified too! I've seen so many people comment that it's a lovely age gap but a tough first few years!

Cookie0508 · 19/05/2020 14:51

I have a 9 month old and just found out I'm pregnant again. It was planned but I didn't expect it to happen first try! Feeling a little scared, mainly about money, I'm totally ready to take on the 2 under 2 challenge!

Original poster
Gabbbbbbby · 19/05/2020 14:55

@Em39ma I'm so sorry, I really hope things are ok.

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Gabbbbbbby · 20/05/2020 19:07

@orangetangerines @Hannah9176 and @Cookie0508 how are you guys feeling? What are you all planning on staying to work, if you don't mind me asking? That's the main thing playing on my mind really... I was actually looking forward to going back, and had been given a promotion. I'm a teacher. I was only going to go back 3 days a week from September anyway, but with new responsibilities. My husband and I have discussed potentially sharing leave this time, with me maybe working 2 days a week and him 3, once the baby is 8-12 weeks or so. Don't know how I'd feel once it actually came to it though! And I'd feel very guilty about DS being breastfed for a year and the new baby only a few months!

OP posts:
Elouera · 20/05/2020 19:17

Congrats! A close friend endured years of infertility and failed IVF rounds. Got pregnant naturally, and when baby was 3mths old, fell naturally with TWINS!!! She had 3 babies under 18mths! She was lucky to have help from siblings and parents though and managed. You will be fine x

WaxOnFeckOff · 20/05/2020 19:26

I know it's a long time ago but in my case DH ended up giving up his job and looking after our two and he got part time work while I went back full time as I was the higher earner. We ended up better off than we'd been with both working and paying for childcare.

I only had 4 and half months off with DS1 and then 5 and a half with DS2 but it was nice to spend my 2nd mat leave off as a 4some :)

Back in my day I only got statutory maternity pay (about £35 a week)for up to 6 months then nothing so couldn't really afford to be off as long as i'd have liked to. I had trouble breastfeeding DS1 so had given up by the time he went to the childminder at 19 weeks. DS2 wouldn't take a bottle so that's why I was off an extra month! After that, I still breastfed him before I went to work and in the evening until he gave up himself at about 9 months. DH worked a Sunday and two evenings during the week so he'd go to work when I got home.

And by the time DS2 was 1, i'd been made redundant, temped and got a new job, relocated and we moved house.

Looking back I've no idea how we did it all!

Temple29 · 20/05/2020 20:18

Congratulations OP ❤️

I have a 13 month old and am due my second in September so there will be nearly 17 months between them. In our case it was planned but didn’t expect it to happen first try!

Super excited though and I’m just going to be as organized as possible. DH is going to take the first 6 weeks off work to get through the worst of the night feeds hopefully and I’m going to cook a month’s worth of dinners in advance and freeze them.

There was 15 months between me and my brother growing up and it was great so I wanted the same for my children.

Beau2020 · 20/05/2020 20:29

There's a 20 year age gap between me and my siblings, it's tonight but because I'm the younger one I love it! They spoil me haha xx

wintertime6 · 20/05/2020 21:05

Congratulations! There's 13 months between mine. Be prepared for the first year or so being hard, there were many days I just focussed on getting everyone fed, dressed and clean, and forgot about everything else. Take whatever help there is available, whether it's someone taking your oldest for a few hours, or putting them into a nursery for a couple of days a week.

It's only really now that we're seeing the benefits of the small age gap and enjoying it much more (they're 2 and 3). They entertain each other quite well, enjoy similar activities, and I know the sleepless night/newborn stage is over and we can focus on the next stages.

summeryet · 20/05/2020 21:13

Congrats!

I have an 18 month age gap, the youngest is 11 weeks. It's already so much easier, and the eldest is super sweet with the baby!

You'll be fine, and they'll be buddies! Pregnancy was the hard part, ie running after a toddler!

saylor · 20/05/2020 21:15

13.5 months between my two. Also similar in that it was difficult to conceive the first and the second was a complete surprise.

No family around to help and DH who works long hours and travels often. The first 6-9 months were a blur of nappies, no sleep, and sheer exhaustion. Every meal time, every bath time, every bedtime Mon-Fri was just me and there were some really hard days.

It's just about getting easier with some really really lovely days with a 2.4yr old and 15 month old.

I'm SAHM so don't have a workplace to deal with so can't advise there!

TwoBlueFish · 20/05/2020 21:18

My 2 are 17 months apart, completely on purpose. I won’t lie it’s tough but it’s also really great for the kids to have someone close in age to play with. They’re going through stages at the same kind of time so nap together etc which makes things easier.

Congratulations and hope it all goes well.

legalseagull · 20/05/2020 21:57

I'm literally in the thick of it now with our 15 month gap. I have a just turned 1 year old and an almost 2.5 year old. The first 9 months were rough. Sleepless nights with the newborn and also an 18ish month old waking at 5am was hard work. I've never been as ill as I was during that time due to exhaustion.

However from the age of two my eldest has gotten much easier and the youngest is now sleeping much better. They play together too which is adorable. They do fight, but they're generally happy. It's lovely they have a friend in each other now in lockdown. The youngest copies everything the eldest does. I know it was the right decision. It's been hard but now that he's turned one, it's getting easier and more enjoyable.

locked2020 · 21/05/2020 00:45

Mine are the same age gap. It was tough when they were smaller and I also felt the second one missed out with age specific baby activities in the beginning (couldn't risk toddler running around in baby massage, monkey music etc), but general baby/toddler play groups were fine. They are the best of friends though (4 and 5 now) and their small age gap is really helpful with days out dealing with similar age groups etc. During lockdown they have got even closer. Congratulations OP.

excitednerves · 21/05/2020 04:20

@Gabbbbbbby can I join the club too? I’m now almost 12 weeks (was put back a few days at my scan) with a 10 month old. They’re due 16 months apart, but baby 1 was early and there’s a high chance baby 2 will be, so maybe even closer!

This thread has been lovely to read. I’m pretty much writing off the first year! Then after that I’m looking forward to them being able to play together.

custardbear · 21/05/2020 05:34

This is the age gap between me and my brother. I did ask my mum about it as it's such a close gap and she said she found it ok as my older brother would have time with my mum, and one a day could also lay down for a nap on the bed with my mum, whilst I was the baby sleeping through the multiple daytime naps - she said it fitted in quite well and she always wanted a small age gap

Babymamma192 · 21/05/2020 06:13

@Gabbbbbbby my dd has just turned 15 months old and I'm 40+5 weeks pregnant with my second daughter! (not planned but definitely loved and wanted)
Being induced on Saturday if she doesn't make an appearance before then so I'll let you know what it's like 😂 dd is a very good baby and brilliant sleeper so hoping that makes it a bit easier!

Cookie0508 · 21/05/2020 11:03

@Gabbbbbbby I wasn't looking forward to going back to work so happy in that sense although I need to go back for a bit to get any mat pay!

mlctobe · 21/05/2020 11:26

Hi @Gabbbbbbby

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I've just found out I am pregnant too - still very early I'm due Jan2021 and have a 6 month old who was born Nov2019 so will have a 14 month age gap too! Glad I found this thread as it's reassured me a little! Least I know I'm not the only crazy one 😊