Upset about having to wear a mask during labour

[Peridotty]

I am upset about having to wear a surgical mask during labour and my husband has to as well! :( We are in the US.
I won't be able to see my husband's face the whole time or expression when the baby is born! It's our first. I don't think I can take it off at all during the time I am in hospital. Upset about potentially having photos taken with baby with mask on and also the fact that the first thing baby will see are our masked faces :(

What if you have a disability that precludes wearing one? Are you not allowed out in public at all then? Sounds draconian. These masks are not force fields.

In the US, Lady, I think you'll find they'd definitely force people to wear them or leave them without care. They cover assault under 'hospital policy'.

I was projectile vomiting so they'd have struggled to force me to wear one!

And OP you really won't give a tiny shit about your partner's facial expression I promise! You may not tolerate it well. Just tell them if you can't breathe.

I’m not sure why people are talking about “giving birth in worse situations”. I gave birth a few weeks ago under current restrictions in the U.K. and was told on here that I should be grateful that I wasn’t giving birth in a refugee camp - how did women come to be so shitty and unsympathetic to a woman about to give birth?

A woman giving birth vaginally isn’t going to protect anyone by wearing a mask, it’s a complete nonsense. I haven’t had a csection so cant comment on that. Once the baby is born the mask is slightly less of a concern and I wouldn’t have cared much about my husband wearing one. But in active labour and when pushing it would have been impossible to wear one - not me being precious or feeble compared to other women giving birth in much more difficult circumstances, or me being selfish about the conditions healthcare workers are facing - just that I would have taken it off without even thinking. OP I think you are going to need to speak to the hospital and find out exactly what the rules are on this so that you are prepared

For DD1 I had such a terrible labour, so uncomfortable, that I ended up stark naked! I couldn't bear clothes on me. I would have thrown the mask to the corner of the room!!!!

I won't be able to see my husband's face the whole time or expression when the baby is born! It's our first. I don't think I can take it off at all during the time I am in hospital. Upset about potentially having photos taken with baby with mask on and also the fact that the first thing baby will see are our masked faces sad

Your reasons r so ridiculous that i cant believe anyone during labour would be concerned about this rather than their satety, ability to breathe and their child's safety...

Agree to try and relax and see how it happens on the day - there is no way practicable they can force you to wear one, unless it's in early stages and you're not too affected by it.

But it did strike me that you pulled your mask down to speak on phone, this is the worst thing to do - if the mask has indeed trapped viruses from the surrounding environment, pulling it under your nose/mouth can cause viruses to be dislodged and then breathed in. You are basically catching the virus, keeping it on the mask, then holding it as close as possible to your nose/mouth. Masks should be taken off away from your nose/mouth and not put on again until washed (if washable) or there is a new mask (if disposible). Think about the virus as being toxic, you don't want it near your ingestion points, if you touch the mask, wash your hands, if you place the mask on bench/carseat, then disinfect where it has been.

I think you’re idealising seeing your dh’s face tbh. I didn’t see my dhs face. Dd was delivered by foreceps. I wasn’t interested in her when she came out at first let alone aware of where dh even was in the room. I was just too tired and overwhelmed after many hours of labour and aware they were concerned for her heart beat.

As for pain relief, I would have the epidural. It will make the birthing experience with a mask on far more feasible. You can do this! Can you get any kind of therapy? Talking therapy or perhaps hypnosis would be good before you give birth?

I think you're piling on anxiety about a good many things - try to stop the anxiety running away with you.

All of your questions about masks can be asked at your next pre natal visit. Please talk to your doctor about everything that is bothering you.

I can't imagine they would make you wear a mask during labour in hospital - as pps have suggested, your body fluids are going to feature prominently in the experience of everyone in the room with you for several hours, and since many women vomit in labour on top of everything else, a mask could cause problems.

I can see why they would require masks for pre natal appointments, same as any other appointment or visit to a healthcare setting. A $300 fine for not wearing a mask outdoors - yes, I can see the reasoning behind that too. But the labour and delivery rooms of a hospital are different environments. Pulling your mask down to speak on the phone was very problematic.

At your next appointment, ask practical questions about hospital valet parking too - don't assume you and your H will have time to park in the parking lot and walk. Valet parking services can be affected by covid-19, and can be very important if labour is progressing fast, so if your doctor doesn't have any answers, call the hospital front desk.

I won't be able to see my husband's face the whole time or expression when the baby is born!
You are not going to give a flying fuck about your husband or his expression when labour gets serious. You are actually very likely to find your husband intensely annoying, and the only thing you will be focusing on after the baby is born will be your baby and the painful contractions as you expel the placenta.

Childbirth isn't a performance you are putting on for your husband's benefit. The universe will shrink down to the single room you are occupying and you will be in the center of it.

I've had five DCs in the US. Most OB/Gyns don't permit any food by mouth while you're in labour in the hospital. This is in case you need to be anesthetised for an unscheduled CS. You will have an IV for fluids, and you may be able to get ice chips or suck/bite down on a wet washrag. You won't starve. You will be very hungry afterwards, depending on when you last ate before heading to the hospital., but you will not feel any hunger during labour regardless of when you last ate.

They will offer an epidural and it's smart to at least get the cannula in place so they can get the pain relief started if you feel the pain is getting to be too much. If they don't offer one, ask for one to be put in place so you can use it if needed.

Best wishes!

Thank you for your replies!
@mathanxiety and @jenny70 I didn't think pulling down the mask to use the phone would be a problem as there was no one in the room with me and it was getting super uncomfortable!! I was expecting to wait in that room for an hour because they had a lunch break between the prenatal exam and the U/S scan.

I guess I must have watched too many episodes of One Born Every Minute where the dads cry when their babies are born. I thought that would be a lovely moment to remember.

Since I haven't been through labour before I didn't think about all the gory bits as much, but definitely things to think about. Didn't realise some women rip their clothes off or vomit!!

I don't have a car, but live literally down the road from my hospital, so will have to take an uber or something.

That is horrific

The last thing you will be thinking about is the expression on your husbands face, I can assure you.

@Peridotty - I have had two births. The first my husband was present and he cried when DD was born. Like most people his emotions can be clearly seen from his eyes.

For my second birth he'd died 5 weeks previously, I would have done anything to have him there in any kind of costume.

Please get some perspective. You're having a baby with the man you love. Respect the staff and wear the masks if you can.

On OBEM the camera goes to the father’s face - the mother doesn’t as she is almost certainly looking at the baby :)

Grobagsforever That sounds incredibly hard

A labouring woman will not protect staff from anything with a face mask, and it doesn’t show a lack of “respect“ not to wear one

I think there are two issues here. One is your comfort, and safety (re: vomiting in mask) which I agree are critical and could justify not wearing mask. I get it.
The other is your concern: baby seeing your faces (they will see a blur), you seeing your husband's lovely expression (it might be of joy or shock or disgust at the bits n pieces coming out or you might see a blur. Such intense moments) and your photos. Now given that these seem to be your key reasons, please take a step back from the disnefied birthing and Instagramatics birth scenes and think of this. A three day old died of covid in the UK a few days ago. They don't know how s/he got it. What of you or your husband have asymptomatic covid (unlikely I know) and masks could help reduce transmission? Would that change your mind about facial expressions and pictures? Respiratory droplets not blood or bits seem to be the primary mode of transmission and there is such a loss of health care professionals from covid. They die. No more pictures with family and loved ones. They won't see their expressions again except in photos that are no substitute for the real thing. If you masking would save one or two health carers from covid and save their families pain, would that change your mind? Because it's not just you and your husband. It's the many couples they encounter with every birth. Each a risk. Accumulating. Every day.
So may be. Just may be. You can make this sacrifice (obviously if breathing or vomiting becomes an issue then that would be addressed then) for these people that are making daily sacrifices for non family members. Every day.

@gingerscallop

I don't think it's really correct to say that a 3 day old died of covid19, perhaps with but not of. That particular baby had fetal bradycardia which was not a result of his covid19 diagnosis. Covid19 was listed as a secondary cause of death.

I think it's also safe to point out the RT-PCR tests they use to diagnose covid are not testing for isolated covid19 particles, they are testing for RNA cells which can be present in a huge number of peoples systems. Specifically those with heart or respiratory issues.

There is also plenty of evidence to suggest that wearing masks is counterproductive. Along with social distancing measures, which they have admitted are not based on any evidence in its effectiveness.

Fucking hell GingerScallop. That is a shitty thing to say to the OP and not merited in terms of the risks either

Wow... when did women become so unsympathetic towards women about to give birth? Yes, OP could be under worse circumstances, eg giving birth in a war zone, but that doesn’t mean being enforced to wear a mask during labour isn’t awful!! I wish you all the best OP and hopefully you get the birthing experience you hoped for xxx

Wow! So now patients, women, need to be good little girls who respect staff, deserve to be guilt tripped and passively aggressively shamed for how they need to labour. This virus has brought out the worst in so many people it's fucking shocking.

HannaH021 Not your business to tell me to STFU

OP, I say this with kindness but if you have to do it, you have to do it. And that’s all there is to it. Everyone’s round you, in your situation, is in the same boat. It’s to protect your healthcare workers and you and your husband, so that you stay well to be able to look after your baby. Your baby won’t remember, you honestly will have more to think about than a mask on your face and you can take it off the minute you leave. And you will be able to tell your child what an unusual time they were born into.

It’s a bit shit, but it is what it is.

I couldn't keep my clothes on never mind a mask!