What's the first week like?

[Stefka]

Just wondering what to expect when I get home from the hospital.

your home will seem strangely quiet compared to where you were in hospital. your baby may find it hard to settle as it is a new environment for them, we took dd on a tour of the flat. as silly as it seems, it was reallu fun! when's your edd? m fm x

You will be very, very tired! You should take the opportunity to rest as much as you can and forget about doing anything other than what you and your baby needs. (You need to bear in mind that you and your baby will not need to hoover, dust, prepare meals etc etc)

It's soon isn't it? Hope it all goes well

14th of October is my due date and I still feel like I am just getting my head round the fact that I am pregnant!

oh and make sure your dressing gown is really comfortable and your slippers are comfortable but not slippy.
it tooka few weeks for me to even want to wear anythign else besides pjs and dg

accept all the offers of help you want to but tell your "new baby visitors" to sod off when you've had enough. switcht he phone ringer to low if you can and sleep when your baby sleeps. that way, youl will get some rest. and let your dp/mom/ family help when they can.

oh and you may well feel too tired to eat/cook but that's where the pre-made meals comein handy from friends/family etc. you must eat as much as you feel able to because you need your energy not just for helping your baby but for yourself

You will initially think:
what have I done?
I don't know what to do
I'm not sure I can cope
When am I going to get some sleep?

However, once you've got your head around this huge change in your life, these thoughts are soon forgotten, and you realise how much you adore your little bundle of gorgeousness!

Good luck, it really is a special time.

the first week is non-representative

if it feels like hell... it will improve

if it's great and you feel on top of the world... take it easy and get lots of sleep anyway beacuse even babies who are calm and biddable to start with may turn into wailing goblins later

TBH I felt great especially with the second one, just loved getting to know her feed her etc, DP was there on hand to help, it was brilliant being able to see my bits and pieces again and move without any pain.

It's not as bad as everyone says, just sit back put your feet up and enjoy!

God, I loved it! When I think back now I wish I could do it all again! Ds was a dream, a gorgeous baby who slept and fed well. In the night, I would feed one side, dh would go through and change his nappy, I would fall quickly back to sleep and then feed other side. Obvoiusly there was no routine so if he fed at say 7am I would put him back down and we wouldn't get up till maybe 10, or later! If he fed at 5 or 6 he may sleep till 10 anyway! He was born a Thurs, came home Sat, Monday we went over to the mw instead of her coming to us so we could pop in to work etc, appt was 3 pm and we were still late! The house was fine, dh was great, I did manage to cook but the rest of the time just stared at my baby for hours! I got nothing done but that's only because I was being lazy, if I really bothered I could have! Going anywhere would take ages- we just had no idea what we needed, dh would obsess that the nappy bag was packed with military precision but the day ds was a week old I dropped dh off at work, went over to the mw to show him off at a bf class and realised all I needed was my boobs and a few nappies!

Depending how long you are in you'll probably have a pile of mail to sort through, I wouldn't bother! You may have a load of presents to unwrap, too! Whenever you do, write down immediately (if you are bothered!) who what is from or you will forget!

And treasure every single minute- even the "sleepless nights", they aren't that bad and really don't last that long.

It's surreal but in a good way mostly. You'll be very, very tired but in the first few days will be running on adrenaline - this won't last so pace yourself!

You'll probably get the baby blues to some degree on day 3/4 so don't worry if you find you've burst into tears for some really random reason (mine was getting home from hospital to find that dh had left the kitchen slightly messy, because how - dammit! - could I raise my child in this hell hole).

Arrange in advance for dh to be the visitor gatekeeper if you don't think you'll be able to tell people to piss off and leave you alone after a decent interval. Don't just assume people will know when to leave because they're excited about seeing you and the baby and they just don't...

It's old but gold - DO sleep when the baby sleeps. Do it!!! Don't do the washing, clean, get dressed. SLEEEEEEEEP. I used to get up, feed ds, go back to bed. Get up, feed ds, go back to bed, Get up, feed ds, go back to bed - for the first few weeks this could easily go on till about midday and I actually felt ok.

Be prepared for just spending most of your time feeding. Make sure anyone who visits is the sort of person who can and will look after you, not expect things from you.

Good luck.

Actually I totally disagree with most of the posts here, sorry guys I think the last thing you should do is act as if you're ill and stay in your pjs for days on end. With DS1 I listened to everyone around me saying how awful it would be and ended up hardly getting out of bed and not opening the curtains for 2 weeks!! I ended up getting very low and even started to resent lo. In the end my dear dear sis (who has no kids of her own) told me to get a grip as I'd 'only' had a baby, I hadn't had my legs chopped off While that was probably naive of her, she was right.

I really wish I had tried to get back to normal as soon as possible...get showered, dressed, made my own cups of coffee, realised I could put bub down and step out of the room for a few minutes, help cook the tea. Nothing too strenuous obviously as your body has been through child birth but as my wonderful sister said - we've 'only' given birth.

I certainly won't be holing myself up when DS2 arrives in a few weeks, won't have the luxury but I do intend to be awake and with it enough to enjoy my new son and watch my DS1 enjoy his new baby brother.

This is very interesting to read! I laughed at the kitchen story - that is exactly the sort of reaction I can see myself having!

I think I can't possibly prepare myself really as much as I want to!

I have to say that I agree in part with Pheebe's post. I think it makes a huge amount of difference to your own personal well being if you can get up, shower, slap a bit of make up on and get dressed every day. OK so it might be 10am in the morning before you finally do this - but it really did play a massive part in making me feel normal again after after both dd1 and dd2.

I do believe though that you should also take advantage of other people's offers of help and during the day, definitely take the opportunities for catching up with sleep when your baby sleeps or at the fery least rest up with a book or magazine.

I agree with Pheebe too, but I had 2 c-sections, and I think then you really do have to take it easy, but still try to get a bit of fresh air, have a shower and all that malarkey so you at least feel human.

TBH I can't remember much about the first week with either ds. Or indeed most of the first 3 months. Which probably tells you all you need to know. .

For the first week or two when you will have loads of help (DP/visitors) do your level best to get up and dressed, even if that doesn't happen until the afternoon! You'll feel human much more quickly that way and it's easier to get yourself rallied round while the support's there. Once everyone gets over the novelty and stops visiting every ten minutes, and once DP has gone back to work if that applies to you, it's a bit of a kick in the teeth so try to get yourself feeling positive by then. Having said that, if you end up in your dressing gown all day FGS don't worry about it, there are more important things.

I thought I was superwoman when my baby was 3 weeks old - his evil insomniac alter ego hadn't surfaced by then and I had DP home all day, so I was swanning round with straightened hair offering people homemade biscuits and wondering what all the fuss was about. It was only in the last couple of weeks (he's 8 weeks old) that I've realised what the fuss is about - it can be hard! So do make the best of any help you get.

My advice for the first week is to really enjoy every moment, miserable as some of them might seem at the time. Talk to your DP in advance about your visitors policy - and be stricter than you think you'll need to be IYSWIM. Don't plan anything for day 3/4 because you'll have boobs like watermelons and you will probably be crying ceaselessly. This is normal!

It's one of those weird periods in your life where your memory magnifies some stuff and makes other stuff a blur - I don't think anyone can really explain it, you'll see what we mean soon enough though - have fun!

MrsBadger is right. For me it was awful, because DD screamed all the time and wouldn't sleep. I phoned the MW in desperation at midnight one night and she asked how old DD was, and told me that DD was crying because..... she was 4 days old. She had been cosy and safe inside me a week before and just needed to adjust to life outside.
I have to say that I did get up and dress and get outside etc, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't. At 2 weeks I had a bit of a relapse (heavy bleeding, felt awful) because I think I'd tried too hard. Next time (if there is one!) I'll stay in bed for a week and ban all non-new-grandparent visitors.

first week is masnic visitors health visitor dont be afraid if tired to exscuse yourself and lie down

wont lie very exhausting i forget my ds name lol and i will say this when baby is asleep SLEEP i regret so much not taking them opportunities i always felt i should do house work or something then i got over exhausted and when did want to sleep my ds stopped napping so never did catch up so really do if baby sleeps you sleep but also its very enjoyable and have fun

all i can say ios sleep sleep sleep lol you wont be lazy for doing nothing dh or dp wont think so i was convinced my dp would think i was lazy and then burnt myself out with tiredness good luck its amazing and dont just stare in crib while baby sleeping found i did this alot instead of sleeping too although they do look adorable sleeping

but a fit and healthy mummy is good mummy and you ewill desrve to put feet up untill all settles down xx

i would agree to o for short walk get some fresh air and then relax when baby goes down i took ds out for 15 min walks from day 2 and it really helped he had reflux and was up every hour in night so i should have rested in day time but never did so if had restless night freshen up go for short walk in fresh air the go back and pop feet up it gives you a sence of having done something even if only short while

as they say exercise is best way to help and prevent depression so its important to feel good in first few weeks as i di start to feel really down when i was to tired to move

tired
weepy
amazed at how you dont need to wee constantly any more!
agree with peoples advice of telling visitors to sod off, tell people to ring first and when they do come round make them make you a brew and not the other way round.

the first weeks a bit tricky but it is ace and they do settle down with the sleeping and feeding etc

After DD1 I remember doing alot of flower arranging and writing thank you letters (v generous family and friends!)

To be honest I think the first week depends totally on how you feel / the kind of birth you have / the kind of baby you have. Sometimes you NEED to stay indoors in your PJs for a couple of weeks just to get physically better yourself and allow yourself time to establish feeding etc.

Other people feel ready to get back to normal almost immediately.

FWIW I was desperate to get back to normal after both my DDs. After DD1 was born my mother kept trying to get me to sleep and I remember begging her to let me go out for a walk (think I was a bit mental then though....cos I really did need to just chill out and rest).

After DD2 I really did get back to normal quite quickly (she was a straightforward home birth). We all went on a trip to the zoo when she was 4 days old.....

I would say the first few weeks are really up and down. One minute I was laughing hysterically at some bad joke (which hurt as I had had a c-section), the next minute I was weeping about something really small and insignificant. I don't think you can be prepared for what it is like - no-one can describe what it is like to be totally responsible for another being. The nights were the worst for me - feeding at 3am, then being terrified about putting the baby down and leaving her in case she stopped breathing...I am hoping number 2 will be easier in this respect!

tired out and recoveing from giving birth. Be kind to yourself - get washed everyday, have some treats. Realise you wont be sleeping much now that you are living a 24hr life style.

I really loved the first weeks... was still on a high, falling in love with the baby etc.

With DD1 it felt all warm and cosy as she's a winter baby, didn't leave the house much and spent the days lazing about (and catching up on sleep)

With DD2 it was summertime, and that felt nice as could get out and about with baby and DD1 (parks etc). Early weeks after 2nd baby felt completely different to me (but as lovely)

First week really is hell and it goes so quick you really dont know where the time has gone. And whilst your hormones are making a swift exit you can feel a bit down and a bit "what have I done?" (and because of the lack of sleep and still recovering from the birth, this thought is somewhat amplified!)

It does get better though, the chaos of the first few weeks does start to change to a more routine chaos oh and don't even attempt to tidy up, because once yout baby is home your house will never be properly tidy for some time! (if ever!)

By 12 weeks I felt I was on an even keel and DD started sleeping through til 6 so I was very happy at this....

Lots of posters say sleep when the baby sleeps and I know it;s hard to do, when you have a million other things to do, but just do it. If you are exhausted everything will seem a million times worse, and it's wierd but it's things like even if yout DH says something funny, you won't even have the energy to laugh (and this for me is a sign I needed to get more sleep!)

Good luck