What happens after giving birth? What was your experience?

[mrsc1987]

As a FTM i was wondering late last night what actually happens when you go to a ward after giving birth? Do they show you how to feed and how often and how to change the baby and leave you to it or do they come and help several times?
Is there a kitchen to get babys bottles (if not breastfeeding) do they come around often and give help and advice? What actually happens? What were your experiences if you're not a FTM?

I don’t want to scare you at all by sharing my experience with my first especially because it was a decade ago and I’m not sure if things have changed but I was just left to it.

It was a room with four cubicles only closed off by curtains, I can still picture it in my head as clear as day. The woman in the cubicle opposite kept leaving her newborn alone so she could go outside to smoke and she hadn’t packed nappies expecting the hospital to provide them. Anyway, that’s beside the by. I had a traumatic birth so was in an awful lot of pain and struggled to move. As a result, getting DS from his little fishbowl cot (they do resemble fish bowls) was extremely difficult so I just tended to keep him on my chest even though I was absolutely knackered after a 24 hour labour. The midwives honestly just left me there alone, no major support and definitely no one showing me how to breastfeed or change a nappy. I just had to figure it all out for myself, I kept buzzing them to come through because I was panicking and unsure what to do a lot of the time when he was crying and struggling to latch. I recall one of the midwives in particular almost resenting me asking for help so much and she told me off for holding DS so much too. I just broke down crying at one stage, I felt completely helpless.

They came through the following day to show me how to bath him but that was when my family had arrived to visit so I don’t know whether they were doing it for show tbh because they’d been so horrendously unsupportive the night before.

I was expected to walk down to the breakfast room to retrieve my cereal too which was absolute agony, had to push DS along in his fishbowl and carry my cereal back in my other hand. The breakfast room was right down at the other end of the corridor too so not a quick walk, no idea why they expected me to do that so soon after an extended episiotomy but there you go.

I was discharged after two days and cried tears of joy when I finally got to go home. I was thinking last night about the bath I also had in the hospital, a massive lump dropped out of me onto the floor which honestly resembled liver. It was probably just a huge clot but it was extremely big and I’d mention it if it happened to me now but the midwives scared me so much I just scooped it up and flushed it down the bog.

After an emergency CS I was just left to get on with it. I didn't get the tea and toast everyone talks about. In fact I got no food at all as it was left in the day room which I couldn't get to as I had a catheter.

Despite promising to, no one helped with breastfeeding. The ward was packed, hot and noisy.

I was desperate to go home but as I couldn't establish any kind of feeding i couldn't go.

It really wasn't a good experience, I was in so much pain and looking back now I should have demanded more help. As it turned out I had a huge infection from my CS, which doesn't surprise me as I was told to take the dressing off myself. The one toilet on the ward had an overflowing bin of blood stained wipes, it really was awful.

The staff were lovely but clearly couldn't cope with the number of people on the ward and were not on hand to do anything. I was very concerned about me hands and feet which swelled up. A Dr finally arrived and suggested it was due to an insect bite! Crazy! It turned out it was all part of the fluid retention I had.

Anyway... we muddled through. I eventually got home a week later. Was never able to breastfeed, despite attending classes and having a breastfeeding lady come to my house (who sat and breastfed her own baby while I just cried! All so ridiculous and incredibly insensitive now looking back.)

But here we are... we made it through. Babies are very resilient and forgive any wonky nappies, crying mums and baby grows that have been done up completely wrong. There's no right or wrong way.

I fortunately had a good experiences 3 years ago and in a hospital. I was in for 5 days, meals were brought straight to the bed and midwives, HCA and Midwife Support Assistants checked in throughout the day. Some were more helpful than others but that will always be the case. The nursery nurse showed us how to bath the baby (standard practice in the hospital). A wonderful Midwife Assistant helped me with breastfeeding and had a much needed chat with me (my baby was poorly). A lovely midwife on night 3 took the baby to the nursery for a couple of hours so I could sleep and also had a chat about the baby being poorly and how I was (my son is fine now and was as soon after discharge). At my local hospital there is a kitchen and place the sterilise bottles. It is sad to read the bad experiences, I think my experience is what it ought to be like.

I had a section so couldn't really move for several hours afterwards. My baby didn't latch on so that was a struggle, but different midwives did try and help with varying degrees of gentleness (never have my breasts been yanked about by so many people!). I don't recall anyone other than me changing the baby after the first time he was dressed, and they did give a demonstration a couple days later on how to give your baby a bath and used mine and complained the whole time he should have been cleaned earlier as he had dried blood stuck in his hair (I felt they were aiming this at me but not sure how I could have done it). One midwife said to call her to help lift and hand me the baby when I was still unstable on my legs but when I did I got a different midwife came who said I should have picked him up myself.
Food was awful and you were left to get it on your own from the hallway - as I couldn't move I missed first couple of meals. Though a tea lady came around every once in a while.
There were 8 beds in my room and midwives did a clockwise rotation and I was last bed and realised that there was always an issue with someone before me so often got missed out or had long delay. I do remember every midwife always asked if I'd had a bowel movement yet!
Due to safety we were told to always have the baby with us so it meant wheeling him down to the toilets each time.
My hospital was very big and in the middle of a huge council estate. So lots of very young women giving birth. The midwives were very very busy but were generally kind. Because so many mothers were young they did take on a bit of a bossy/head teacher tone (girl next to me was 20 with her second baby after having one less than a year before).

I was pretty much left to it on the ward although they did say i could buzz for help and lots of the other mums did but i was lucky and had my partner with me the whole time so we just got on with it. meals brought to your bedside. I formula fed and was so worried about facilities to boil the water sterilise bottles etc but in the end i brought the ready to feed bottles of aptamil which were great!!! x

We were left to it, I was really poorly after birth with sepsis so DH had to help me by holding baby to my boob and changing nappies. Terrifies me to think of what would happen now in the current circumstances with Covid as partners arent allowed on the ward post birth

When I had ds1 the wards were so busy that about 90 minutes after he was born they parked us in a waiting room on post natal and we sat there for an hour or so until there was a bed for me. No one showed me anything on the ward unless I directly asked. I really hated the post birth experience in hospital, tbh. Noisy, hot, bright, no peace, no rest, overworked staff who were stressed and exhausted. It's why I had homebirths from that point on!

I was so lucky with mine - got to stay in the room where I’d given birth with my husband overnight (midwife led unit). It was en suite so I had a lovely shower. The midwives brought me tea and toast and then cornflakes in the morning. I knew what I was doing re nappy changes - luckily as he pooed about 3 times in the first few hours! Had the baby at 7pm and left at 11am the next morning.

Why are post natal wards so terrible? I don't know a single woman with a decent experience.

Luckily they brought meals to the bed and there was tea offered at times during the day so that was good. The HCA helped on the first night after I'd had a spinal block so couldn't move to change DS' nappy. The was no help breastfeeding as I lived in the wrong area apparently! Otherwise I was made to feel like a complete nuisance. There was a shouting match between two women at 3am, another watched her iPad constantly without headphones. We got discharged at about 8pm on day 3 and I've never been so relieved to get home. DH has already said he'll pay for a private room this time!

Had my first baby last year and was just left to it. I had a buzzer if I needed help but other wise I had to figure it out myself. I wanted to breast feed and asked a few people for help but when the baby was just getting upset they sort of gave up and told me to try again later. One suggested I gave him formula. I had taken the small cow and gate bottles with the sterilized teats on them which don't need warming up. I can't remember there being anywhere to warm up formula if you'd wanted to do that.

To be honest my experience in the maternity ward wasn't great. There was a few lovely women who helped and made me feel comfortable but a few which almost seemed to judge and expect me to know what I was doing when I'd never had a baby before! I remember one midwife telling me to change his nappy before feeding him. Then one morning I was doing his nappy when a maternity assistance woman come in and kept going oh he's so hungry, oh you're starving aren't you sweetheart. Made me feel pretty shit and I was pleased to get home.

This is totally just my experience though and your hospital may be great. I'd just be prepared that you will have to ask if you need help and they will leave you alone as there's so many women and babies to support. I hope everything goes well for you

Why are post natal wards so terrible? I don't know a single woman with a decent experience.

Me neither. It's the only time in my life I wished I had the funds for private healthcare. They are dreadful places. Half the problems associated with the postnatal experience could probably be solved by doubling the staff so those on duty would have time to do their jobs the way they want to (I honestly believe the staff I met who were grumpy, short tempered, unhelpful and on occasion downright rude and unkind were so because they are consistently forced to do far too much with far too few resources!), and realising that wards with cubicles just do not work in postnatal settings. Post natal wards need private rooms. The idea that sticking a woman who has just given birth into a dormitory environment with a newborn and a host of other new mothers and newborns will result in anything other than tired, stressed women who are desperate to get out of there is insane.

With my first it was a bit different as I was in hdu and a midwife checked me every hour so I felt very well supported. My second was a c section - in recovery I was given help with breastfeeding and it was lovely in there- quiet and a midwife just the other side of the curtain who could help straight away if needed. Then got taken to the ward and that was it - literary shoved in a tiny room with another woman, neither of us were particularly mobile (she had a bad tear), they shut the door and that was that. They forgot us twice for food, no one came for hours until I rang the bell because I thought my catheter bag was going to explode it was so full, they did come round and do painkillers but there was not much in the way of care. They didn't give ds2 a second glance. I was going to stay on my own that night as dh went home for ds1 but my mum came in during evening visiting hours and was horrified at the lack of care so she stayed with me to help with the baby.

Oh, WRT bathing the baby, my hospital explicitly said not to for the first week or two because they're coated in some sort of skin protection when they're born and it's bad for their skin to remove it. We were told top and tail only at first. Which took a lot of the pressure off.

I had a brilliant experience. I was in a private room with birthing pool, I had help with breastfeeding, meals brought to me and also a small shared kitchen area if I wanted to make toast, tea etc. A midwife showed me how to bath the baby and my DH tried to change the first nappy but DS coughed up a lot of mucus so I had to use the buzzer, they were great and helped us get him cleaned up.

I didn’t stay in hospital for any length of time. Had both DCs in MLU and was home about 5 hours after giving birth both times (completely straightforward water births both times).
Went back to the unit the next day with DS1 for some breastfeeding support.

I had a EMCS. When in the recovery room, a midwife helped DH to get baby in a nappy and dressed. This took a while as he was so scared of breaking her
We then got taken to the ward and had plenty of help with breastfeeding, regular checks from midwives etc. Seems we had a good experience reading some of these!

We were told not to worry about bathing baby for the first few weeks as it helps the vernix keep moisturising their skin. In any case, I didn't feel that I needed shown how to bathe as you can't really go wrong, as long as you aren't drowning them or burning them!

Oh and everyone on the ward had their own sterilising units and access to a pump and storage for milk, a fridge etc. They showed me how to sterilise all the parts and then I was able just to go and do it whenever I needed. Food was brought to my cubicle along with offers of tea a couple of times a day.

If you're in a local FB group for new mums in your area (I found ours really useful) you can always ask what provisions are like in your area as it seems to vary hugely.

A lot of mama’s are saying they had bad experiences but mine was a great experience. However I think my hospital is less busy in general and I gave birth in a “slow” month ! There are weirdly certain months that are busier than others . September is known as a busy month because those are Christmas/ new year conceived babies . With my hospital they have a chart that shows births by month and it’s so bizarre how there really are busy periods .

We were told not to bath our babies for the first few weeks too . I’m surprised how many hospitals were bathing newborns .

Due to issues I ended up being on a ward for 3 days, but I was ready to go home straight away. Bare in mind this was nearly 3 years ago so with Covid things might be different.

The ward was noisy, there were 4 beds to a room and they were all always full. There was plenty of food, provided you’re not kept from getting it during the mealtimes (they won’t bring it to you unless they notice that you’re unable to, but you kind of have to be in the right place at the right time)

Visitors are noisy in the most part, unfortunately the lady opposite me seemed to always have visitors and they all liked to shout! And the lady next to me was struggling to get any milk so her baby screamed crying all night. Between the lady in front (preventable) and the lady next to me (not preventable but still frustrating) I never got any sleep, which considering I laboured over the night meant it had been about 4 days since I had got any more than an hours sleep, it was hideous. I had a Cannula in my hand which made it painful to pick up baby (and most of the rest of the time after it had been in a few days), I nearly took it out myself because it was so painful. If they had waited any longer to take it out I would have.

But the midwives were trying the best they could, they did assist with breastfeeding if you wanted it, and they helped my husband change the first poo nappy. There was the odd grumpy/terrible midwife, one who told me off because my baby wasn’t wearing a second blanket (we did that on purpose, it was BOILING in the ward) and then shut up when baby was toasty for her checks.

I have been on a antenatal during coronavirus and I was so sad to be spending a night there because it bought back memories of the hideous postnatal ward. But it was fine, only 1 other person in the ward and she was lovely. Midwives had more time (I think because they are trying to keep people out of the wards) and it was a lot quieter. I still didn’t get much sleep but it wasn’t to do with the ward to be fair, I was just worrying about my baby!

After C-section was moved to ward and was there for three days with dd next to me. Apparently while I was still half sedated at transfer they told me a "booklet" at end of bed would tell me all these magical things like the mini kitchen for self service was, how much I could ask for help etc. I didn't hear it. Couldn't reach the end of my bed anyway- for at least 24hr dh was looking after baby.
Honestly didn't know booklet was supposed to be there and when I had a discharge review on my way out after three miserable starving days and nights with serious pain (sciatica and infection), failure to bf, and getting a nasty nurse telling me off for me being stupid when I asked for pain relief at midnight (they'd missed me in evening- I don't know how - I hadn't moved!).
Turns out the booklet was never there! So I couldn't have helped myself even if I could get out of bed. Turns out I could have asked for them to take dd for time away so I could sleep - I wondered where other babies were going to at night?
I'm not stupid, I read everything I see - that's how I knew the one nurse was being a cow because I was constantly reviewing my notes and saw what she'd written. I recently had cause to request my entire medical record from hospital and was reminded of this reading my catalogue of maternity errors.

I was with DH, first baby. Gave birth in a bit room on delivery suite, had episiotomy etc so after all the medical stuff was done and sorted...MW asked if we had a nappy for DD and we did and she put it on her. Then I asked if she could help me BF as probs over an hour had passed since I'd delivered by this point. Midwife helped me larch her on and left me to feed her and rest. They brought me and DH tea and toast and fruit and stuff and I said I wanted to have a shower so they said they would pop back in a bit to move us. I got a shower and they came back and we were still packing our stuff away. They said no rush they will take lunch break and come back in about an hour. So we rang family to inform them and just rested and held baby really.

Moved to ward and I had a private room where DH could stay. It was about 2pm at this point I think. I had known mental health problems and had perinatal mental health involvement so it was agreed prior to birth that every effort would be made for me to have my own room so that DH could stay with me for the duration. Midwife showed us where the communal 'kitchen' was, got us both a cup of tea, then we both had a nap. Woke up when DD needed BF which I sorted myself. Visitors came whilst DH popped to the hospital shop for a magazine and snacks. They brought us both dinner after. Checked on me once in the evening and I complained of pain so they gave me another diclofenac suppository and told me off for taking my own paracetamol.

Left to it mostly but DH already knew how to change nappies as had been a nanny before. And I was lucky that I didn't initially need any help with BF. In the middle of the night DD wouldn't feed so called midwife who helped me hand express and syringe feed her. We were discharged about midday the next day, after we had breakfast and lunch and DD had her newborn exam and I got diclofenac tablets to take home.

I think I had an average experience. But I think that's only because I was mobile, and I was only in because baby and I needed some monitoring post birth due to pre-eclampsia.

Was in a 4 bed bay. Curtains closed all day. The three other women all had had issues with their birth/babies so the staff were more focussed on them. Which was fine with me. I had the checks baby and I were mandated, but other than that baby and I were left to it. I had the buzzer if I wanted/needed help, but I felt it better to try by myself first. I had had some breastfeeding support on the delivery suite though.

Food and drinks were brought to the bed once in the ward. Standard hospital fare. Not great, but edible. Out of hours food is available, but it wasn't offered, and I forgot about its existence until after I got home. Did mean that I all I ate between 6pm Wednesday to 8am Friday was the traditional post labour toast (5pm Thursday), and I was ravenous once I got to the ward (11pm Thursday).

Failed ventouse and forceps in theatre here. DD was put on the breast as they were doing my stitches as she seemed to be looking for it. I’m not sure how much she had at that point (I was also having a PPH so there was a bit of bustle around us). We spent the night in recovery, and the midwives on duty were amazing. Checked up on us regularly, changed her first nappy with me watching (they did offer to guide me through it if I wanted to do it myself), helped me latch her on, and helped me express a syringe full of colostrum to make sure she had definitely had some. They even volunteered to take her from me and walk around with her for a bit to make sure I got some sleep.
We were then moved to a side room for three nights, as I was still having issues with my catheter, had to have a transfusion, IV antibiotics etc. They came to check on us regularly there, and whenever we pressed the button for help. A midwife taught my husband how to change nappies and I had help with her latch and breastfeeding positions. We had incredibly good support, but I’d say definitely don’t be afraid to ring the bell if you need help or are unsure of what you are doing.
Food was chosen from a leaflet and brought in, and there were tea and coffee stations and cereal at breakfast time.

My first I was left to it. Breastfed so didn't need the kitchen or anything and was in less than 12 hours so I didn't need anything.

Second was poorly so we were in for a week after the birth. I had quite a lot of help from the midwives on breastfeeding as I was struggling with him and they would hold him whilst I had a shower. It was hell but the staff were very helpful

Big busy hospital - pretty much left to our own devices. Definitely no one available to show you how to change a nappy or anything like that. They weren’t keen on letting me leave as DS wouldn’t latch and I wanted to bf, but I was like ‘well I’ve asked for help numerous times in the last 6+ hours and no one has the time so what’s the point in being here?’ I discharged myself and the next day stayed overnight in a midwife led birthing centre for breastfeeding support, which was a lot less busy and much more supportive. I would ideally give birth there or at least transfer there straight afterwards next time.