Partners at scans

[Aryat5]

When does everyone think partners will be allowed to attend scans again?

@StopGo

That is truly awful I am so sorry - I know many here will disagree with me but I really think in that situation you should be allowed to see him!

I don’t disagree with you at all! End of life is one of those exceptions I think are top priority.

My DH’s GM was very ill last week. It was looking very unlikely that she’d make it but luckily she’s pulled through. I told DH categorically that he should go and see her if it looked terminal because he would always regret it if he didn’t.

@StopGo Wow. I am so incredibly sorry to hear that. Sending lots of love and hugs.

I meant to add:

@StopGo I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this.

@StopGo I’m so sorry to hear that, how devastating for you and your family

This is absolutely no criticism of the women posting that they need their husband due to anxiety etc but honestly as a mother you’re going to have to do things on your own without your husband always there. I recently had to take my daughter to her immunisations alone, we had to wait outside the surgery until we were called in, she was thrashing about, crying and then hold her still then I couldn’t even sit and feed her in the surgery to calm her afterwards, it was shit and another pair of hands to help would have been amazing, I felt awful but I knew it had to be done. My partner is self employed so didn’t come to my appointments or scans as he couldn’t justify taking that time off work when it wasn’t essential and has the most amazing bond with his daughter. Sometimes in life you’ve got to just put on your big girl pants and get on with it and try to see the positives

I was alone at my scan when I found out I had my mmc in Jan. It's not ideal but much of womanhood and motherhood is about dealing with awful things alone as there's a lot of stuff men just can't help with

Thank you everybody. It means a lot at this moment.

@StopGo I’m so sorry to hear about your husband, and to hear about his diagnosis over the phone must have been just awful x

I've had my 20 weeks scan alone, wasn't great but having a quiet waiting area really was much better than potentially putting more midwives/sonographers/other pregnant ladies etc a higher risk of catching Covid-19. The scans are lovely to share with your partner, agreed, but I think over dramatising the emotional side of it only gets you worked up.
I do think if there is bad news though, there's needs to be something in place for Dad to be there, potentially having to hear that news alone then have to go home and repeat it back to your partner is awful, and I really do feel for anyone who has experienced that.

Sorry should of said *dad or partner!

It's about reducing footfall in the hospital. Fewer people make it easier to observe social distancing.
As awful as it sounds you need to remember it's a medical appointment not a spectator sport.

Name change the sonographer has to talk to the student in order to train them. I am recently redeployed as an obstetric sonographer after being out of the game for a few years in a different specialty and yes we are having to talk to each other While I refresh. Most of the patients love having us talk through the scan as they get an insight into the detail we go into. Most of the women I am scanning are very appreciative that we are still scanning them and rarely comment about their partner. I have a family and children to go home to at the end of the day and would rather my risk be lowered by seeing 15 patients Rather than 15 patient and 15 partners.

"the sonographer has to talk to the student in order to train them."

No shit Sherlock!
I'm not an idiot.
The sonographer also has to talk to the patient.
It's part of the job.
If you don't do that you're probably as bad as the one I saw.
I felt like a guinea pig being poked and talked about, rather than talked to.
You weren't there and I was so I would appreciate you not trying to explain what happened.

Hi op, I understand how you feel. I think with everything that's going off its certainly safest to reduce the number of people that are entering the hospital. Some partners could be key workers even if their partners are pregnant, so upping the risk.
Im 38 weeks pregnant and currently preparing to go for my section alone due to nobody being able to have dc1 whilst lockdown is on. So dh will stop home. I'm scared about this but understand its the right thing to do. Both sets of parents are shielding so wouldn't expect them to come over.
I know it's a shame for your partner to miss it, but you'll be in and out in five minutes or so with a lovely photo to show dh. Try not to get too down about it. I was fortunate enough to have dh with me for my scans, but more recently I've had a couple of growth scans that I've had to go into alone. The staff are lovely and really look after you. It's not ideal I know but times are very strange right now. All the best!

@NameChange30

That was unnecessarily rude. I get that you feel frustrated by your experience but that is not @olivehater’s fault. They, like you, are trying to give you an insight into their experiences.

@NameChange30 no need for that response at all.

You talk about women shouting others down on here but then you do exactly the same when someone tries to give you a different perspective and a better understanding of why something might have happened

Wow. Ok. I am very nice to the patients, just to be clear. Snap happy with cheeky extra pics and love getting to do my job and show them the scan, putting their mind at ease etc. I wasn’t there so no I can’t comment. I do know we are being told to spend less time showing patients the baby than we normally would to reduce the time of the scan, reduce the risk. I am still training and the sonographer has take over a few times for me when struggling. I don’t see why that should be a problem. But anyway I am sorry you had a bad experience. We are trying our best. It’s a tough job where you are expected to be a performer whilst also making tough decisions all the time with a lot of anxious patients. Part of the reason I was happier in a different speciality in the long term.

@olivehater the majority of us understand that and are very appreciative of all that you and your colleagues are doing. Thank you.

My friend just had a hysterectomy as she had cancer. Her husband was not allowed in the hospital at all. He wasn't even allowed in when they told her she had cancer. It's about minimising risk. Trust that the hospitals have your best interests at heart.

@olivehater I have no doubt that you are all doing your absolute best in ridiculously tough circumstances. Please know that the majority of pregnant women are really grateful to you and your colleagues.

@StopGo, so sorry to hear that, it absolutely puts all of this into perspective for me. I hope you are coping as well as possible and have some good support.

In answer to the OP question, I am due to be induced in 6 weeks and have been given the indication that my partner wont be able to be with me, so at least till them I would imagine. Personally, I am a very nervous patient and have found going into scans alone not too bad, all the staff have been very kind and patient with me. I also found the emptier waiting rooms comforting.

I have my 20 weeks scan next week and I’ve been told my partner is not allowed. Being our first baby to reach this stage we booked a private scan, it cost us 69pounds but it worth to see the happiness of my partner. Personally I done more for him as he’s really into knowing the baby and don’t want to miss anything.

I’m 25 weeks pregnant, an nhs front line worker as is my husband we are both still having to work. I understand it’s not nice having your partner at your scans/appointments however I don’t think you’d be happy having my husband in the waiting room around you as that’s an added risk to you. I definitely don’t want to put the sonographer at the double the risk of both of us being there.
The more staff are exposed to the virus the worse their outcome is from evidence being gathered so unfortunately at this time it’s the measures being put in place.

My trust hasn’t taken any of these decisions lightly and we’re just as upset for our patients & their relatives. That’s the one of the reasons I trained was to be caring & compassionate so we are struggling too. However if all staff get unwell Due to footfall in the hospital there won’t be any atall to look after you/baby.
Xx

I’ve had 6 miscarriages and my last pregnancy ended In a MMC picked up at the 12 weeks scan. It was awful. I’m dreading having my dating scan without my husband there.

BUT husband and I are both doctors working in different hospitals - husband is seeing non-covid patients without PPE. I’m not in a patient facing role. My husband definitely presents an infection risk and I don’t think he should be allowed in the waiting area or the scanning room or around other pregnant woman or the scanners or midwives. Why should they be put at increased risk for my comfort?

I chose to continue TTC during this time. I accept that things are not going to be ideal in terms of my care but I think my feelings have to take 2nd place at the moment and my husband agrees.

@Kerlassic I feel the same. In all my previous pregnancies I had bad news at the scan. Thou thought of getting bad news again without my partner to support me is terrifying. Just the thought of being made to sit alone in the “bad news room” with a load of “sorry about your miscarriage” leaflets whilst I wait 30 minutes for a nurse to be available to talk me through my options. I can’t do that alone :(