Partners at scans

[Aryat5]

When does everyone think partners will be allowed to attend scans again?

I've been reading through people's posts on this one and didn't want to read and run.
I do agree with the hospital rules with regard to social distancing.
However, I suffer with anxiety and not having my partner with me for scans and important appointments with my doctor puts more fear and anxiety into me then the appointment itself.
He is my absolute rock and at my 13 week scan he was in the waiting area which was bad enough, but if he isn't allowed in for our 20 week scan in a couple of weeks, I don't know how I'll be, as I'm already in melt down mode and my anxiety is through the roof.
I think if the partners come into the scan and then leave would be acceptable, as for people like me and others that suffer with anxiety and depression, my blood pressure will go through the roof, all because my DH can't be with me for something so important.
And as other pp's have rightly stated, if it's bad news, do you really want to face that by yourself?
This situation is just totally shit! 😢😢😢

Obstetric scanning is carrying on as normal, the midwives are doing telephone consultations wherever it’s possible.

I scan on average 18 women a day, our scan rooms are quite small and to do the scan I have to be near the woman, so I am in quite a confined space for 20-30 minutes with each woman. If it will reduce my risk of catching the virus I’d rather not be exposed to 36 people.

Although you may live in the same house as your partner, some may not, some may have had contact with their other children that do not live in the same home. It’s impossible to control which is why they need a blanket ban, also as someone else has mentioned some partners may be key workers. Although it’s a shame, it’s a medical appointment and in other departments of the hospital such as oncology, scans are being cancelled full stop even though they are essential. The sonographer that then has to go home to their own family needs to be protected, limiting any unnecessary people in the room is helping to keep this HCP safe whilst they do their job. At my local trusts there are no visitors at all in any of the wards at any time, people are dying alone so I think although it’s disappointing, it’s fair to ask that pregnant women attend the scan alone but I do agree in the case of bad news, the partner should be allowed to enter the room.

I have had terrible news at scans twice (once baby had severe abnormalities leading later to a tfmr, once a mmc). By unfortunate coincidence my partner wasn't there for either of them. I was alone. It sucked. However I survived. I don't think it is fair to increase the risk of a potentially fatal illness to the sonography dept staff by bringing partners. We all just have to get on with it.

Because if there are 2 of you attending, it doubles the chance of one of you having an asymptomatic infection which you could unknowingly pass onto the sonographer who could then pass it on to anyone they come into contact with-both other patients and staff.

It isn’t essential for your partner to come to the scan, but obviously it is essential for you to be there as they can’t do the scan without you.

PPE isn’t infallible and most of the time the staff are just wearing aprons, masks and gloves which are not of an adequate standard to protect them.

Obviously there will be people who have bad news at the scan and it’s really difficult that they will have to attend on their own. But you have to consider the bigger picture which is trying to protect the majority by reducing the risk of other patients and the staff contracting covid.

Is this going to be the position until there is a magic in over a year!?

@Aryat5 how long is a piece of string? None of us have a clue how long these restrictions are going to go on for....even those working in the medical profession can't say how things will be in a month or 6 months or a year, let alone people on an Internet forum.

The restrictions are there to keep us and the medical staff safe. As others have said, double the people equals double the risk so it makes total sense to control the number of people coming into hospitals in this way....and even if you're sure your OH is fine, could you say the same about everyone else's partner? It would increase your risk of catching it too if there were double the amount of people coming in and touching things.

This isn't how any of us planned our pregnancies but it is what it is. I had a scan last week (alone) and it was absolutely fine.

My husband hasnt been able to attend most of our scans ( having twins so every 4 weeks currently every week starting next week) due to work anyway. The staff are so kind and really look after you its a bit nerve wracking at first but you will be fine !

@strawberrypancakes

I think it depends on hospital because my OH was allowed into a scan a few weeks back.

@SirDucky
Would you be happy to supervise a student sonographer (and take over if necessary) meaning an extra person in the room (from a different household) and the scan taking longer?

To be fair I was terrified going for my dating scan this time because I was told DH couldn't go and I'd had a dating scan in October which showed a MMC. I let the midwives know beforehand and they went out of their way to look after me because of that. It's lovely to bring partners in but it is after all a medical examination and we are in unusual times.

Luckily we don’t have any students training at the moment (which is unusual). I can see the logic that they be excluded from the scan but I’m not sure how it would work long term. If this were to go on for a significant amount of time, not allowing students in would eventually cause a shortage of qualified staff.

@NameChange30 I personally don't think that's the same.
Supervising 1 student per day means the sonographer being exposed to 19 people (18 woman plus 1 student) instead of 37 if every woman brought their partner as well.

Just my opinion, but i would think it is more important than ever that they keep training medical staff incase of staff shortages caused by the virus. There'd be hell on if scans started getting cancelled full stop due to a lack of staff able to do them.

Unfortunately, the safety of all the patients and staff has to be a priority in these circumstances. I also have anxiety and depression and my DH is also my lifeline in a lot of situations. However, I can’t prioritise that over the potential of other people dying.

I equally don’t want other people’s partners there because of the risks they pose in carrying the virus. Why should my DH be the exception? Many of the babies’ fathers/non-birth mothers may not live with the mother. I know if they were saying only partners from the same household could come in that many would lie and say they were.

No one is saying it doesn’t absolutely suck but, in the current pandemic, there are bigger things that we all need to worry about.

I agree they do still need to keep training students, I guess I just object to the way they went about it (didn't explain or ask my consent) and the fact that they talked to each other more than me.

Everyone is saying the midwives and sonographers will be extra nice to women who are feeling more anxious than usual because they can't have a partner with them - but that's not a given, it wasn't in my case.

I think that the well-being of pregnant women has been relegated to the bottom of the priority list. Of course protecting our medical staff has to be top priority. I agree that the no partner rule is probably correct. But I am concerned that pregnant women are being expected to just put up and shut up when it comes to a lot of things. They are getting shouted down in the pregnancy section of mumsnet which of all places should be supportive of pregnant women. (I don't mean this thread particularly but in general there is a tone of dismissing pregnant women's anxieties and disappointments atm.)

@Aryat5 No one can say how long it’s going to go on for. The answer is for as long as it is deemed necessary to protect people.

But I am concerned that pregnant women are being expected to just put up and shut up when it comes to a lot of things. They are getting shouted down in the pregnancy section of mumsnet which of all places should be supportive of pregnant women.

Supportive doesn’t mean agreeing with what pregnant women want just because they’re pregnant.

As I said previously it’s about looking at the bigger picture and protecting the majority. Although many women don’t want to go scans alone, I suspect no pregnant woman wants to contract covid during pregnancy and by allowing partners to attend scans it would significantly increase the risk of that happening. Unfortunately this means making a blanket rule about no partners at scans otherwise everyone would want to argue their case for being the exception rather than the rule.

"Supportive doesn’t mean agreeing with what pregnant women want just because they’re pregnant."

You can disagree with someone without shouting them down. You can be understanding of their feelings at the same time as reminding them of the reasons and wider context. Some people aren't doing that.

I don't want to derail this thread though or make it a TAAT. I was simply making the point that our well being and mental health are still important and i would like people to acknowledge that.

That doesn't mean I can't see the wider picture.

@NameChange30 fair enough. It does sound like they were out of order in the way they went about it.
I feel quite fortunate as all the sonographers and midwives I've encountered have been brilliant. I guess every profession has it's bad eggs.

I don't agree that pregnant women on MN are getting shouted down or that there is a tone of dismissing women's anxieties and disappointments regarding CV.

I am a FTM, 24 weeks pregnant and feel anxious every day about what is going on and how things are going to be when I give birth in August.....everyone agrees it's a sh*t time to be pregnant, we just have different coping mechanisms. One of mine is to try and look on the bright side and think positively instead of constantly focusing on how disappointing and unfair it all is. I'm not dismissing anyone else's feelings but I try and reassure them that it's not the end of the world because it's really not.

I just think there's a bigger picture. People are actually losing family members from this, people are dying alone in hospital, people are not being able to give their loved ones a proper send off, cancer patients are getting their treatment postponed which could have fatal consequences, long awaited Ivf treatment is being cancelled, medical staff are catching covid19 and dying from it.....the while situation is just awful. I don't like the restrictions but I understand them.

Pregnant women shouldn't be at the bottom of the priority list but they shouldn't be at the top either.....and I say that as a pregnant woman myself.

I think some (not all!) pregnant women need to remember that they’re only pregnant. They haven’t got a disease and for a lot of women, the pregnancy was completely on purpose. A lot of these women would have behaved in the same way before the pandemic.

I’m going out of my way to make sure that my family is safe, including my unborn baby but I don’t expect people to bend over backwards for me or my mental health above their safety.

The sooner we all realise that everyone (especially HCPs) is doing the best they can to keep the country safe from the virus and sacrifices of non-essential things have to be made, the happier everyone will be. It’s not a personal dig at pregnant women but men being allowed at scans is non-essential at the moment.

"I don't agree that pregnant women on MN are getting shouted down or that there is a tone of dismissing women's anxieties and disappointments regarding CV."

I expect we haven't been reading all the same threads

sel2223

You’ve said it much better than I have!

@sel2223 explains it well. I couldn't be with DH this week when out of the blue he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His prognosis is very poor and currently he is extremely ill. We haven't seen each other since that day and there is a very high chance he will die alone in hospital. I was told his diagnosis on the phone.

StopGo
I am so sorry about your DH