Hi all, I’ve joined mums net as I can’t find anywhere else, where others have been through the same.
So last week, I found out I was pregnant. I’m 41, but I know that’s not a huge deal these days. But hubby and I have been together 24 years. We have 3 “children” aged 22, 18 and 14. To say I’m shocked to the core is an understatement.
I have had the consultation to terminate the pregnancy. But don’t actually know if I can go through with it. Until yesterday DH was adamant that he couldn’t see any way we could make it work, even though he wouldn’t force me either way. In his mind it’s my choice.
But yesterday he did some research about what is going on with the pregnancy at this stage (or the stage we think it’s at) and what I’d have to go through with a termination, and now he’s taking a different stand. He’s still supportive either way, but understand more about why I’m not egar to have a termination.
I’m worried about everything. We’ve struggled financially forever (we had our first aged 19 so it’s not been easy) I’m the only one with a secure job, and it’s taken me a long time to get where I am.
Then there is the practicalities, where would it sleep, who would look after it while we worked, etc etc....
I’m appalled at myself and DH for letting this happen, we aren’t stupid, how on earth can we have allowed this.
I’m worried what others will say/think (especially my parents, who are brilliant grandparents, but have never really known how to take the news of a pregnancy)
There are my other kids.... I’m sure the oldest two will be shocked at first but be excited after that. The youngest, I’m not so sure about. Although she’ll come rounds. She’d have too.
Then there’s me. I’ve never enjoyed being pregnant. I’m already struggling with the nausea. (I never actually get physically sick in pregnancy).
I don’t want to have a little one, I don’t want to do school runs again, I don’t want to be 53 and looking at secondary schools. In addition hubby had a mental breakdown 2 years ago. It was horrific as it all centred around me. On his 40th birthday, it was like a switch had been turned on, he became paranoid and completely not like my husband. Then just over a year later, he switch back again.
Now while I’m glad he’s ok, it was sooooo hard having older kids and going through that. What if it happened again with a little one?
But I also don’t know how pregnant I am, and I don’t know if I could terminate when I know the baby inside me has a working heart, kidneys, spine, eye colour etc etc.
As you can see, I’m incredibly confused, and can’t find anyone that has been through something similar... is there anyone out there that is willing to tell me the outcome of both scenarios for them please?