Heavy two-year- old, plus new baby arriving via c-section shortly - advice please!

[Alva]

Ds will be just over 2 when dc2 arrives in a few months. Am already finding lifting him awkward (especially in/out of his cot).

I have to have a c-section, so know I'll need help lifting anything for the first while, but I will have to get back to doing things myself again by about a month in.
So am thinking how to simplify life - all suggestions welcome!

Am considering converting his cot into a cotbed - but is this just going to make life more difficult in different ways when he can get out and roam around?

Had planned a stairgate across his door once we move him, but he will still be free to trash his room - and I wonder if it may make him slower to settle to sleep? Also, he's had a grobag for ever and likes them - would we have to switch to pjs so he didn't trip?

Finally, ds's room is next to ours. Am worried that the new baby will wake him when it cries; does this tend to happen, or can some kids just blank out that kind of noise?

Sorry this is long. Am clearly more nervous about the logistics than I thought!

I wouldn't worry about putting your son in a cot bed, my daughter has been in a normal single since 18months and roaming is not a major issue, actually its easier for her to walk into our room when she wants something than run around after her if she is shouting from her room. You could put him in nice snuggly fleecy all in one suits instead of a grow bag and maybe let him choose some he really likes then he is safe from tripping over.

Good to hear that the normal bed thing has gone smoothly for you, Lailasmum - thanks. And a fleecy all in one suit sounds perfect, specially if that's all the summer we're getting this year...

I had this problem as well.

I used to drop the side of the cot down and then put a chair next to that side.

He then happily climbed into the cot and I put the side back up and removed the chair until I needed him to get out!

As I remeber he quite enjoyed it!

I've got to say - it was much easier having DS1 in his cot. I moved him out when DS2 was about 6 months old and I had the engergy to deal with any problems (which actually we never had).

On the bedroom thing - DS1 and DS2's bedrooms adjoin. The baby never wakes up the sleeping toddler but in the morning its usually a case of one up all up - its very rare that one wakes up and manages to stay quiet enough not to wake the other. That said DS2 is no 18 months and we have never felt the need to move him to the room oposite (which would be much quieter!).

Ooh, good idea Willmouse - can see mine quite enjoying climbing into the cot. The sides don't drop, but he's tall; could try a chair if we don't go the whole hog and convert the cot. We are starting to succeed in getting him to be more independent, so it's not a sudden shock when he has to be.

All goes well (he quite enjoys it) until he's upset and then - quite reasonably, given he's not yet two - everything goes to pieces when he's upset or tired. Hmmm.

Fab to hear that the baby doesn't wake the toddler - hope we can repeat that result!

Start practising now with step to get in and out of bath too or get him used to having a shower instead.

What about the lifting in and out of his car seat too ?

Can you tell I went through all of this planning in the run up to my second c-section ?

I can't offer much on the bed as ds1 was only 14 months when ds2 arrived by cs. I'd say get as much help as you can for the first 6 weeks for lifting as it really is important to take it a bit easy after a cs, and I know how hard that is with another lo to look after. Don't know if your ds is still in nappies, but I tended to do changes on the floor to avoid having to lift him up.

But as for the sleeping thing, what Willmouse said. DS1 very rarely wakes up even when ds2 is really bellowing and on the rare occasion when he does wake, he goes straight back to sleep. I'd also agree that in the mornings it tends to be all up once ds1 is up (I try and distract ds2 with a boob if he wakes first!).

So nice to get help from those who've been through this!

Step for bath is a great idea - thanks. Yes, he's still in nappies (changing on the floor, too, luckily) - it might just be feasible to train him before the big day but doesn't seem worth the hassle/risk of making it An Issue just now; enough is changing for him already!

I personally wouldn't bother potty training just because you are going to have a second.

It can be stressful dropping everying at a seconds notice because DS1 needs a wee that nanosecond at the best of times never mind with a newborn!

I would look at changing him to a cot bed now, so you can spend time adjusting him to it, whilst you still have the energy. It might seem like hard work when you've got two and feel sleep deprived.

You can emphasise it's because he's a big boy and it's an exciting move, as opposed to doing it because of a new sibling. It also means you don't have to lift him when heavily pregnant. You can then also use the cot later on down the line for baby - once he is very happy in his new bed.

Naboo, thanks for the advice - am knackered now, but realise this is nothing to how I'll be feeling in a few month's time!

I'd go for it Alva. You'll have about a week or two of full on resistance or pushing the boundaries a bit, but then after that you'll be so pleased you got it out of the way.

I just can't imagine having to do it with a new born and recovering from a C/S. It would break me!

It was a lot less of a hassle than i thought, and my little one loves the big bed now. Also good to do it on your boys terms so he doesn't feel it's due to the new one coming - it will make it a lot less stressful. It also makes them look little again!