Pregnant at 46

[Catlaw73]

Just found out I'm pregnant at 46. A real shock. Any older mums with similar news? I have a 13 year old son already. Due December if all goes well.

[Midlifebaby]

Wow ladies, what a brilliant and uplifting thread!!!!
@tuppencethedog congratulations!!!

Last summer I had a miscarriage, and aside from the obvious sadness, the ONLY part that I was uncomfortable with was going to the GP to get a fit to fly sign off after, because I had to admit that at 49 I’d voluntarily got pregnant...I could have been 16 for how embarrassed I was lol. She reassured me that I wasn’t her oldest maternity patient, and given the nature of the medical interventions needed to get pregnant, she wasn’t too worried about my risks when I told her we were going to try again lol!

To those of you with already grown up kids, my baby will have half siblings ranging from 22-29, and they have all been absolutely lovely about a new baby on the way.

I’ve now started the countdown in days rather than weeks and I’m so excited!

[Catlaw73]

@Ausbaby43
Unfortunately my partner has still not warmed to the idea of a baby so it's 2 weeks of being ignored like a teenager in a strop so I'm getting annoyed now but hey hopefully once I've had a scan at 8 weeks it will seem more real to him and he will come around to the idea x

[Catlaw73]

@Midlifebaby I'm glad to hear you weren't told off for having a baby as that was a bit of a worry being told how likely it would be to have things wrong with it, but my doctor gave just the support I needed over the phone so I was really lucky x

[Catlaw73]

@Loutel40
Congratulations really pleased for you both x

[Chatbash72]

@Midlifebaby I am in awe of you.... 49 and pregnant... 💕💕💕

[Midlifebaby]

@Catlaw73 hopefully once hubby gets his head around it he will be happy ...here’s some inspiration courtesy of my dustman who, last week told me to tell my DP “he’s still got it!” lol. All the blokes will be slapping your hubby on the back before he knows it!

It is scary being old, but as long as the chromosomes are ok (I’ll keep everything crossed for you) my expert specialist told me ALL of the risks with pregnancy when older come from multiples x fingers crossed there’s only one in there.

And finally. In the UK there are now more babies born to the over 40s than under 20s!!!! It’s still only on in the thousands, but there are plenty of us xxx

[Catlaw73]

@Midlifebaby
I do hope you're right! 

[Sheera1]

Hi ya. I am 41. I am 10 weeks. I have an almost 10 yr old and had a miscarriage at 12 weeks 3 yrs ago.

This was a total shock as we thought the ship had sailed and I just hadn't bothered going back on contraception as was thinking menopause was on it's way. It is welcome if scary news but I do know lots of family and friends who were in their 40's and pregnant.

Pregnancy is so different this time. Not sure if age or just a different pregnancy. I am ok in the morning then ill from about 3 for the rest of the day. Feel like something is leaching the life out of me or a virus taking over lol. Not been sick but feeling really nauseous and dinner is always interesting as almost everything seems gross and the smells!!!!!

Can I ask what extra tests people are requesting and when they are due? I haven't had a booking in appointment yet and a bit conscious some are done really early?

I did end up with an early scan as I was so ill last weekend and things didn't feel ok and had a low pain. All was good as was expecting bad news after last time. What should have been my first scan is really late at almost 14 weeks.

Is it true that my partner can't come? It is his first child and he was at the miscarriage scan and really feel he needs to witness seeing a healthy baby.

[Ausbaby43]

@sheera congratulations! I’m assuming the UK is very similar to here- my hubby was not allowed in to our early scan. But the sonographer was so lovely- when she saw my reaction to seeing the heartbeats she went out and got him so he got to see them too. This is both our first so it was very special. She did tell us not to tell anyone lol.

[Catlaw73]

@Sheera1
Congratulations, I bet your 10 year old is excited! I have booked an early scan with ultrasound direct when I will be 8 weeks (6 at the moment) and I will book the nipt test at 10 weeks which checks for all the abnormalities. This company have clinics all over the uk and the prices vary. Most are shut but admin are open to take bookings. I'm going to the one in Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk. Hope all goes well xx

[Sheera1]

Thanks Ausbaby and Catlaw. Will look into the test. As 10 weeks now. Eeek. Guessing it is private only?

Haven't told my 10 yr old yet. As I miscarried at 12 weeks I want to wait until some scans and checks are done. He will be pleased though. Xxx

Hope all is well with us older mums. I was considered a geriatric mum at 31 lol. Check us out! I don't feel old but I probably will soon lol. X

[Catlaw73]

@Sheera1
Hiya, yes these tests are private. I'm not sure at the moment whether anyone gets early scans before 12 weeks due to corona virus. My sister in law found out at her 12 week scans that she had miscarried early for 2 of her pregnancies so she recommended getting private ones if I could. Window to the Womb is the other private clinic that do tests. Early scans are about £70 and the Nipt/Harmony test for abnormalities from 10 weeks is about £400. They are a lot of money so it's still worth asking your own doctor about what your local hospital can offer you first. Good luck with it where are you from? X

[Sheera1]

Thanks @Catlaw73. I will do some googling. Booking in appointment is Tuesday so will ask about what tests they can do. I am in Scotland.

I got an early scan this week as was unwell and had a low pain on one side (think they were being cautious not ectopic). All is well I am pleased to say for now. I think after my missed miscarriage and what a shock it was I am being very cautious.

I know they take a measurement here at the 12 week scan for downs syndrome and think a blood test too but otherwise they look at family history and think that is it.

When I went for my early scan I had to be treated as if I had coronavirus as I had been feverish (which had gone) but my pregnancy basal temp seems to be about 38 degrees. I had to wait in the car and they came out in full PPE and gave me a mask etc. and was scanned in a designated red zone in the maternity unit. Good to see them taking lots of precautions.

@Ausbaby43 You are being very patient with your partner. I think I would have lost the rag by now. Esp as it is your first and there is a niceness in not really knowing how much things change and he doesn't really know. I must admit that I had ruled out more children as things were not happening and had got happy with that and have all sorts of trips booked around Europe seeing bands for next year which will all need to be cancelled! I got a shock and initially wasn't thrilled about it myself and no matter what age you are, it is a huge scary responsibility. I actually think the older you get the more you overthink things and worry.

That being said he needs to step up. He made half of this and needs to be supportive. I did find the baby phase tough going and I was 10 yrs younger but nothing prepares you for how much you are going to love this wee person once in your arms. You know that thing that people do when they say "I want to eat him/her up"? I always smiled politely thinking they were nuts and over the top, but I understand that now. It is like a wee extension of you, of your heart, is walking about outside your body and the love and fierce protectiveness you feel is unmeasurable. I get the mother lion thing. It doesn't go away.

I have some silly worries that maybe I won't and possibly can't have more capacity to love another one as much as I do ds but I think rather than splitting that capacity between two it grows exponentially.

Man I talk a lot of rubbish. Lol.

[Ausbaby43]

@Sheera1 I think you have me mistaken for OP... my partner is amazing and equally as excited as I am. Although we are cautious and taking a day at a time. I love the way you describe motherly love- not rubbish at all- that’s what I’ve been craving for so long and I have everything crossed that this is the time it works. It doesn’t yet seem real- I think the next scan will do that.
Do you have blood tests scheduled as well? My dr is sending me for all sorts of tests - He used the term ‘geriatric pregnancy’. Charming. Lol. You gotta laugh.

[Sheera1]

Lol on the geriatric pregnancy. They told me that when I was 31. Lol. Must be a dinosaur mum now!

Oops sorry getting you mixed up with the OP.

Have been told nothing yet about anything booking in appointment is over the phone on Tuesday and will be a pain in the neck asking for lots of tests. Xxx

[4amWitchingHour]

@Catlaw73 I hope your partner starts behaving like an adult soon - he's being an utter twat! Does he not realise that pregnancy can result from sex?? Huge congratulations and hope things get better

[Catlaw73]

@4amWitchingHour
Yes twat is a good way to describe him... I honestly think he's grieving for the freedom he thought he had he's done the denial and anger bit... he's now in the sulking/depression phase and hopefully when he sees a scan picture Acceptance will finally be upon him! By then however I might be enjoying my own type of freedom and might feel like I don't actually want him anymore! Can you tell I'm still in the anger phase myself? Lol... I read an article online about a woman whose partner left her and only realised what an idiot he was when the baby was 4 months old... not sure I have that kind of patience 🙄x

[fool11]

Congratulations to you all. I’m 45 and currently 26w pregnant , ivf baby . Had a MMC 2y ago so this is a very much wanted baby. My 5y old is very excited about her baby brother. I had a private harmony scan which came back as a low risk , privately at fetal med center , they have a good package 10w scan, Test and 12w scan for £400, still expensive but worth every penny, and they also allow partners to come with you, the quality of scans is much better than in my nhs hospital, just my opinion). I do find it difficult, pregnancy compare to when I was 40 but it’s still ok, the current covid situation and being stuck at home doesn’t help. I’m down as high risk so the consultant told me during the 12w scan that we should deliver the baby at 38/39w. Will you ladies go for a c-section or induction or just wait till the time comes?
I hope @Catlaw73 that your partner will realise how unreasonable and perhaps selfish he is ( not judging)..and will change his mind once he sees the scan pictures etc. I know it’s a big change, for the whole family but he needs to give you some support..at the end of the day he is responsible for this situation as well (didn’t happen by magic 🙂)..good luck.

[Catlaw73]

@fool11
I hadn't thought of asking whether the clinic I'm going to offer a package of scans I might look into this. I'm sure your 5 year old will love having a younger brother. I hadn't realised you have to have the baby early if you have a C section I'll ask my consultant this at my first hospital appointment on Tuesday. Take care and good luck! When my partner finally comes around I'll let everyone know! Xx

[Catlaw73]

Had my first consultant appointment today and by chance they requested a free early scan for me and I was squeezed in this afternoon. All was fine am really excited. Partner however was not so we are again not talking to each other 🙄. I've booked my private nipt scan in 4 weeks time x

[Ausbaby43]

@Catlaw73 how exciting- great news that everything is well.
My friend gave birth yesterday to a healthy, bouncing baby boy- she is 46. It is her first and a much wanted bubba. It filled me with hope and positivity that my pregnancy might also result in 2 healthy babies. (Everything crossed)
I’m back at work now and happy for the distraction work brings, but very fatigued at the end of each day. They have been wonderful allowing me to work from home 3 days a week.
My next scan is next week. I am very hopeful for good if not great news!

[Sheera1]

I have booked in an NIPT scan for next week. Means I get another scan as going a bit nuts about it all 🙈. Hope everyone is well. I am feeling horrendous. Had a day there of relief but back to feeling awful just how. Guessing that is a good thing though. 😂

[Ilovecats14]

Congratulations! Sending lots of positivity your way x

[Crispaddict99]

Hey ladies and congratulations to you all! It's so reassuring to hear your stories. I'm 40 and 12 weeks pregnant (first pregnancy). I have my scan this week and I'm really nervous about it.

I've been reading a lot about the screening tests today and had a question. Wonder if anyone can help...

It looks as though where your risk result is anything below 1 in 150, you're considered 'high risk' and would be offered the diagnostic tests. As the risk of down's syndrome for a 40 year old is 1 in 100, does this mean we're automatically in the high risk category before they even check the NT scan and blood test results? Any help in understanding how this works would be much appreciated!

[Helbelle17]

I'm not sure how it works @Crispaddict99, but I'm 44 and my screening results came back as low risk. I can't remember the exact numbers, sorry. I think it was 1:800, something like that.
My c section is booked for Thursday (39+4) and I'm so exhausted now. And I feel so huge!