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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and fiancé in hospital - emergency

70 replies

RainMinusBow · 05/03/2020 01:57

I'm almost 28 weeks' pregnant and my fiancé has been admitted to Leicester hospital as a matter of urgency.

He's had a bad back for years (he's 44) but recently it's got a lot worse. Has been to GP so many times and even casualty as pain unbearable but they've just given him pain meds etc.

Anyway, he found this morning that he couldn't wee.

Went to A&E who eventually did bladder scans and emergency MRI. Fitted him with a catheter and now have referred him via ambulance. Awaiting to hear if he needs urgent surgery.

They have said it could possibly be Cauda Equina which indeed needs urgent surgery and can lead to permanent incontinence as well as lots of other issues.

I'm at home waiting to hear but can't sleep. I'm so scared.

I am also feeling very bloody angry that he's had to get to this point where irreversible damage could have been done when he kept saying things weren't right.

This is his first baby (my third) and I honestly don't know how we're going to cope if things don't get better or worse.

by MNHQ at OP's request

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

naturallydelicious · 05/03/2020 02:31

Please try not to worry too much op . Things always seem worse in the middle of the night & it's hard not to think of the worst possible outcome . It will all seem a bit better in the morning . Also don't use google to look up his symptoms , it will just feed into your anxiety x

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 05/03/2020 03:10

@naturallydelicious Thank you for replying. I'm an anxiety sufferer at the best of times, and can literally feel my heart thumping away in my chest

OP posts:

octoberfarm · 05/03/2020 03:15

I'm so sorry you're going through this - what awful timing, and you have every right to feel all the things you do. Not quite the same but my DS ended up in hospital seriously ill when I was 35 weeks pregnant with our second, and the combination was just horrible, so I really feel for you. I'm sorry I can't be of much use advice wise but just wanted to offer a handhold, and to say I hope things end up taking a turn for the better. Thinking of you and sending an unmumsnetty hug your way

ChakaDakotaRegina · 05/03/2020 04:41

That’s scary and very frustrating that it wasn’t properly looked at previously. Would PALS be any use in raising a complaint or to get a second opinion (I know our local hospital sends scans to the specialists in Birmingham if you put pressure on). Often care does get better with a diagnosis, you have to get into the right part of the system first. Hopefully you are over this hurdle. Try to get some rest.

Honeybee85 · 05/03/2020 04:47

Try to get some rest, for yourself and the baby.
Negative feelings as understandable as they are to appear now, will not help you.

And it’s dark, often our worries seem bigger then they are at these nightly hours.

All the best

Lola871 · 05/03/2020 06:47

@RainMinusBow if his inability to urinate only started yestersay morning then it's likely that he won't be left with permanent damage. The actual surgery is normally quite straightforward - most often it's a decompression of the spine and/or a discectomy - I work in a hospital that does these and people are often going home within a day or two!

Fingers crossed everything turns out well for your fiance, but do try not to worry!

sockittome123 · 05/03/2020 07:25

Handhold OP

RedDhalia · 05/03/2020 07:44

Ok.. deep breath.

I had Cauda Equina Syndrome 3 times in December - 3 ops for it in 15 days. If an MRI proves CES they will need to operate today. As a PP stated, he may well me fully continent after the op.

If things do go down this route and it's confirmed no matter how well it goes.. there is a wealth of support out there and I've just done 2 weeks at a spinal injuries unit and they have helped me enormously. I've been left with a bowel that doesn't want to work too well on its own so I'm now on daily treatment for that. I have a 3 and 13 year old and whilst it's been hard I can still do a lot of what I used to do. I can't walk great yet but that's down to having it 3 times (had a disc defect - very very rare).

There is also a support group on FB. If you want to chat please feel free to PM me.

Fingers crossed for you.

I know this is scary, but

RedDhalia · 05/03/2020 07:50

Also just to add that whilst he may have had awful back pain for ages the disc will have gone further in to the spinal column at the point he was unable to urinate - CES is rare where as slipped discs are not!

Recovery from the op is different for everyone but they will have him up and about within a day, and hopefully he will be coping much better by the time your baby arrives. I'm sorry OP, it's a really shit time for you both. Please let us know how he gets on.

Booboostwo · 05/03/2020 07:50

I’ve had CA after 14 months of pain with a herniated disc. CA comes on suddenly and needs an emergency operation. It sounds like the doctors are taking this seriously. Once he is operated on, he should regain a lot of function and the nerves will continue to recover for 2 years.

To give you an idea: I had manageable pain from a herniated disc, one day I woke up with extreme pain, I struggled to make it to the doctor who gave me cocodamol and anti-inflammatories, but later that day most of the pain disappeared but I had numbness around the genital area. I was misdiagnosed by two different A&E doctors so it was 5 days before I was operated on by which time I had numbness down to the middle of my thighs, urinary retention (not incontinence but I couldn’t feel the urine flowing once I was on the toilet) and loss of reflexes from the ankle down on my left leg.

Two years later almost all the symptoms have gone. I have a bit of traveling numbness (it moves from one part of my genitals to another), a tiny bit of pain and I needed help from a women’s physio to regain feeling in my vagina (that one was very scary).

CA is very scary, but it sounds like your DH doesn’t have the most severe CA symptoms and he is being closely supervised by his doctors. Don’t panic if he needs an operation, it is the best option and recovery can be quick, especially with relatively less severe pre-op symptoms, e.g. urinary retention is less severe than urinary incontinence, loss of feeling in the foot is less severe than loss of feeling in the leg.

Mistymeow · 05/03/2020 07:50

My friend had this and also needed emergency surgery. I believe it was quite difficult to diagnose and she also left it quite late, thinking it was issues from a previous slipped disk. But she went on to make a full recovery (no incontinence issues) and had a baby naturally two years afterwards. It was very scary but as pp says there is a lot of support. Sorry you’re going through this whilst pregnant but am very glad they are now treating him. Best wishes.

Booboostwo · 05/03/2020 07:52

CES, sorry, I don’t know why autocorrect liked CA better!

Glad to hear it’s going better for you RedDahlia!

ClientQueen · 05/03/2020 07:56

I had cauda equina, a 5hr op and made an almost full recovery (some back pain still and nerve damage)
The recovery is about 8 weeks of no bending, lifting and twisting

RedDhalia · 05/03/2020 07:57

Thanks @Booboostwo amazing how we manage to find these threads eh.. like we just know before we open them!

OP Boo has been a great support for others including myself on other threads... so if you need any help you've got us both ❤️

Cantchooseaname · 05/03/2020 08:01

Went through very similar except had small baby.
It wasn’t cauda equina in the end, it was a benign tumour. The surgery was terrifying, and recovery a slog.
18 months on, most things are ‘normal’, apart from nerve damage to feet/ legs with reduced sensation- he’s quite clumsy.
It was hard, but his recovery has exceeded all expectations. Hang in there- take all the support you can get.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 05/03/2020 09:10

Aw thank you all, so comforting to know there are people out there who have been through similar or simply offering kind words which mean a lot.

He's just being taking down to theatre for an op. The ortho surgeon has said the main aim atm is to restore bladder function although there are of course no guarantees this is acheiveable.

I'm a mixed bag of emotions - worry about the op obviously, but also anger because he's been in so much pain and had red flags re his symptoms but just had his meds up and been sent home. He's has so many falls etc. I just pray it's not too late. He's 44 and don't know how he'd cope if things don't get better.

He's so excited about his first baby (he never thought he'd be a daddy) so I just hope everything works out. Feel so bloody helpless sitting at home and waiting. Couldn't even be with him as he went down to theatre

OP posts:

Booboostwo · 05/03/2020 09:28

It's good news he's getting operated, although I understand why you will be worried until he is out of the operating theater. He should recover quite quickly afterwards. I was out of hospital in 2 days, although I could only shuffle around with a walking stick, but I did improve quickly after that.

Please try to contain your anger. Pain by itself is not a sign of CES. The red flags for CES are:
Saddle numbness,
Bladder and bowel incontinence
Bladder and bowel retention
Sexual problems

along with nerve issues (leg pain, leg numbness, etc) that are common for people with back pain. It sounds like your DH had appropriate medical help as soon as he developed CES which is a really good thing.

The crucial period is not the start of the pain, it's the time between first onset of red flag CES symptoms and the operation, which in this case seems to have been brief.

ClientQueen · 05/03/2020 09:36

I had numbness and was on all the drugs including morphine for the pain from Jan - May but didn't develop CE until May, and they operated straight away. Was discharged 21hrs post op

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 05/03/2020 10:07

@Booboostwo Thank you, really useful info.

Re the symptoms...

Saddle numbness - not that he specifically reported but he has had general numbness in all areas of legs.
Bladder and bowel incontinence - no
Bladder and bowel retention - he had an episode of brief bladder retention a few weeks back which he reported to GP. Advice was not to worry.
Sexual problems - he has complained of loss of sensation in that area and sex was taking longer than usual if you get what I mean
nerve issues (leg pain, leg numbness, etc) - yes, a significant amount. Sometimes his legs have been so numb that they have collapsed under him leading to numerous falls. This was again reported to GP and A&E on Monday. Again just told to wait as MRI had been ordered.

OP posts:

Booboostwo · 05/03/2020 10:12

CES can cause complete loss of sensation in the sexual organs, that is, men cannot achieve an erection at all and don't have any feeling in their penis, while women can loose all feeling in the clitoris and vagina.

It is very frustrating when someone is suffering and cannot get medical help, yet it is best to be positive now and think about the future. Overall he seems to have had mild CES symptoms which is great news. Hopefully he will see an immediate improvement when the pressure is taken off the nerve as well as gradual improvement as the nerve recovers.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 05/03/2020 11:56

Thank you, @Booboostwo, you've been really reassuring. Still waiting to hear from his op but was warned it could take some time.

OP posts:

RedDhalia · 05/03/2020 12:05

Mine all took between 6/7 hours so he could be a while. Ah I'm thinking of you today.

Skierrdery · 05/03/2020 12:26

Sounds scary, but I don't think that you've any right to be angry with him?

Floralnomad · 05/03/2020 12:31

Hope it all goes well OP . Very little point in being cross with his past actions or lack of them as it will achieve nothing , just concentrate on his recovery .

Moominmiss · 05/03/2020 12:41

@Skierrdery I think she meant she feels angry at the doctors who have perhaps fobbed off some of his symptoms in the past and perhaps not taking it as seriously as they could have done.

At least that’s how I read it anyway lol

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