Social services referral

[Ajlaisy]

My partner and his ex girlfriend had a very toxic relationship and before breaking up he threw water over her whilst his baby as in her arms she phoned social services (which was already involved as she smokes weed and admitted this to the midwfie) and he was stopped from seeing his daughter he had to go on an anger management course which he did and go on a drug course even though he hasnt smoked cannabis in over 4 months and doesn't touch any other drugs after this he should be allowed unsupervised contact again, i am pregnant from a previous relationship due to give birth in 4 weeks, today he received a phone call saying that they will be referring me to social services but without him there would not be an issue I have a decent job house and car, are social services going to take my baby away when I give birth to her, what is going to happen, if they spoke to me and said if you carry on seeing your partner she will be taken away I would always chose her but I'm freaking out right now that I'm not going to be given that option. I don't feel he is a threat to me or my child, can somebody please advice me on what social services will do at all

They won't take your baby away. However I highly doubt you know the full story and they may share more with you about him. If you are told about the risk he poses and still choose to stay with him then your judgement will be in question.

Why do you have a boyfriend who had social services involvement when you're about to have a baby who isn't his? Is that really a sensible life choice?

They are not going to take your baby away.

Don’t be afraid of social services. They aren’t the bad guys.

Your partners behaviour requires this referral. They will want to ensure your baby is in a safe environment.

He is not a partner. He is some guy you have been dating for a short enough amount of time that you are pregnant by someone else. His background problems are way too recent to even consider letting him near your child.

He’s not even your baby’s dad, why are you wasting your time on unnecessary drama? Having a baby is hard enough on a relationship when the mum and dad are involved I can’t imagine trying to navigate it with someone else. Please just end the relationship and concentrate on your baby. His life sounds volatile

Your poor baby

Don’t get involved with him it’s not worth risking your baby. Walk away

He’s a weed smoking abuser with a temper issue that you’ve known for at a maximum 7 months...

Nice.

You are setting yourself up for shit loads of pain and drama at a time when you are in a position to truly enjoy your first baby alone.

Please dump him.

How long have you been together? There's clearly quite a lot that's happened before he met you that is cause for concern for social services. If you work with them then you'll be fine, but overall he doesn't sound like a great person to be with in your current situation.

There’s more to this. He’s not a good man. Get rid now, before you put your baby in danger.

JFC. Seriously s art at least trying to be a good mother now.

Ditch him and reevaluate your choices and your standards. I'm sick to death of the crappy lives people force on children in here.

@LovingLola what an unkind and unhelpful comment

Nobody here can answer your questions. Only social services can....however you're not doing yourself any favours.

I think you really need to dump him and stay away if you want them off your back.

You'll never be able to trust him with your daughter and will always be on edge.
You might be walking into an abusive relationship.
If you get rid of him now you could blame social services, end of problem.

No they won't take your baby away.

Doubt you know the full story though.

I doubt I do know the whole story, and I know what your all saying is right, my main concern is when i break up with him are they still going to be involved, I'm worried they won't believe me

Break up with him. Tell him he's never to contact you again and if he does you will call the police.

Contact the social worker involved and ask exactly what they want you to do. Then do all of it. If there would be no problem without him, then he has to go. Especially if your child's father would cause problems for you with custody because of this situation.

I know it must seem impossible at the moment, but this is really a very simple problem to solve. Your baby comes first (it's clear to me that you want the very best for her) and this man is only going to bring problems into your lives. Get rid of him. Even without SS involvement, is this man really the best person you can bring into your child's life?

Wow op ,haven’t you done well for yourself
A man who’s not smoked weed in 4 whole months ,well done pat on the back for him.
At what point after conception,did you start sleeping with another man ,who wasn’t the babies father
I’m sorry ,but that’s grim
Op
Don’t you want better than this for your tiny helpless new baby
You don’t have to be in a relationship you know
You can be single and focus on your baby .
Don’t start her life off like this ,aim high ,you and her deserve so much better

What ss will want to know is what do you know and how well can you safeguard your baby. I suggest you make a Clares Law application which will show that you dont get his account word for word. This will reflect well.on you showing that you want to know the true information and are open minded. However you also need to be able to act on what you are told. Someone who is prepared to throw a glass of water over a baby clearly has very limited inhibitions. Be mindful of this.
You have a blinkered view. Be open to information from professionals, they are there to help.

He's minimised whatever happened with his previous partner. He's not even the father of the baby you are carrying. He assaulted his partner while she was hiding his own child, why do you think he will spare you and someone else's?
Get rid of his OP, and social services will back off.

I work very closely with SS dealing with the legal proceedings Involved in removing children so hopefully can offer a bit of insight:-

They would not automatically ‘take your baby away’ with no good reason to do so but what I will say is that if he is having to have supervised contact there was clearly a big concern around his parenting/actions in his previous relationship and I would guess that you probably don’t know the full story.

For what it’s worth be honest with social services if you do/or don’t end the relationship they may wish to have some involvement but certainly won’t take your baby away without valid reasons - if you end your relationship and prove this to be the case you should have nothing to be concerned about.

I think you should build a life for yourself and your baby.

You're pregnant with a child whose father you aren't win but that doesn't mean you need any man. You don't need this loser who's waiting to step in. You don't need the worry about SS over a situation that isn't yours.

Be alone, build your own life with your child and stand on your own two feet. . You don't need this dragging you down.