Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Alcohol when pregnant

196 replies

bluemoon2468 · 08/02/2020 07:11

I'd sort of like to see how the land lies on this one! I'm 5+3 and personally haven't had a drink since before I conceived because I was doing dry January.

I've just finished the book 'Expecting Better' which is written by a health economist who had a baby of her own, and decided to research the 'facts' behind conventional conception/pregnancy/birth wisdom and advice. Among other things, she concluded that there is absolutely no evidence that light-moderate drinking has any negative effect on mum or baby whatsoever. The only existing evidence of any issue is with heavy drinking, particularly regular heavy drinking. This is in contrast to say, smoking, where there is a lot of evidence that even occasional smoking negatively affects your baby. She talks about the fact that in many European countries, women are not routinely told to cut out drinking all together, but just to moderate it (these countries have no higher rates of miscarriage, disability, pre-term birth etc.) My own mum said that when she was pregnant with me, the medical advice at the time was not to go tee-total, but to limit drinking to one glass of wine per day, which she did.

This having been said, is anyone willing to 'admit' to any light drinking during pregnancy? I'm certainly not planning on regular drinking, but am considering very occasional drinks e.g. a small glass of prosecco on my birthday or our wedding anniversary. No hate please!

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 08/02/2020 07:17

I had a small glass of champagne at my friend’s charity ball and at Christmas. I had a couple of mouthfuls out of a small glass of wine a couple of times over the course of my pregnancy too but I have to admit I personally felt guilt even though I know the research.

PotteringAlong · 08/02/2020 07:20

You decide where your risk factor lies. I didn’t drink at all because it wasn’t worth the risk for me.

rosina38 · 08/02/2020 07:26

I'm 25 weeks, I had 2 or 3 glasses of martini Asti over the Christmas period. I had a glass of Prosecco when we went out with some friends and I had a gin and tonic when I went for a meal with my husband. I will continue to have the odd drink here or there until my baby is due in May. You have to do what you feel comfortable with like with everything in pregnancy and then parenting

FernBritanica · 08/02/2020 07:28

I've read the book and found it pretty convincing.. that said I'm still not drinking firstly because I've had a previous miscarriage and if I drank and then something happened again I would blame myself even of it wasn't strictly logical and secondly because where's the fun in drinking one unit a week?! I'd want at least half a bottle of wine Wink.

I wouldn't judge you at all of you do, but I'd advise waiting till after the first trimester (even if drinking in first trimester doesn't actually cause miscarriage, you might still have one and would likely feel guilty, it's still possible after that of course but less likely), I also wouldn't have more than one small drink a week.

Stravapalava · 08/02/2020 07:29

I was pregnant a fair few years ago (gave birth in the 10s) First pregnancy, I nursed a glass of white wine at a wedding at about 22 weeks and had a shot of Baileys at Christmas a few weeks before that. Second pregnancy, just the Baileys at Christmas. I would have been 30 weeks ish?

I think you decide your level of comfortable, based on your own feelings and how your own pregnancy is going. I sailed through my pregnancies without a care in the world, but had I have had difficulties or difficulties conceiving, then I may have thought twice about drinking.

Mammyloveswine · 08/02/2020 07:31

I had the odd glass, maybe 3 or 4 during my entire pregnancies..Christmas/weddings/out for a meal...

hopefulhalf · 08/02/2020 07:36

I had mine in 2004 & 2006 I did much as PP describes eg: odd glass of champange, couple of sips of wine. However I now work with looked after children and in child development our understanding has imcreased I wouldn't drink in pregnancy now.

Alcohol when pregnant
helterskelter3 · 08/02/2020 07:37

I read all the research and decided that a glass of wine here and there was no risk. In fact, the research told me there was no risk!

bingbangbing · 08/02/2020 07:39

Expecting better was refuted by obstetrics regarding alcohol.

The rest of the book is sound, however.

Link: depts.washington.edu/fasdpn/pdfs/astley-oster2013.pdf

RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 08/02/2020 07:44

There’s no hard and fast evidence because they can’t actually run any studies to determine the ‘tipping point’ for serious harm due to the ethics of it.
To be honest Im a bit 🤨 at anyone who can’t give up alcohol for 9 months of pregnancy. But, I also acknowledge I’m coloured by my own struggles to get pregnant.

Sunshine1235 · 08/02/2020 07:44

I drank the odd glass of wine during my second and third trimester both of my pregnancies.

bluemoon2468 · 08/02/2020 07:53

@RichTwoTurkeyFriend it's not that I can't give up alcohol for 9 months. Of course I can. But for me, clinking a glass of fizzy water with my husband on our first wedding anniversary is more than a bit crappy. Especially if there might not even be any justification for doing so 😕

OP posts:
bluemoon2468 · 08/02/2020 07:58

@FernBritanica that's good advice, thanks. I agree about waiting until after the first trimester - not because I think it will cause a miscarriage, but because I don't want to falsely attribute a miscarriage to a drink I had and then feel bad!

OP posts:
RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 08/02/2020 07:58

@bluemoon2468 I guess my question is why it would be so crappy? It’s one anniversary. It would be one glass you’re missing out on, and even if there was no justification for doing so, what do you actually lose by now having the glass of champagne except...one glass of champagne? 🤷‍♀️

bluemoon2468 · 08/02/2020 08:11

@RichTwoTurkeyFriend I don't know, it's kind of subjective isn't it? Personally (but like a lot of people) the way I tend to celebrate big milestones is by having a drink with someone. Having a soft drink is never going to feel the same. I was with my pregnant friend over Christmas and she chose not to eat brie or stilton in the evening. She said it didn't really feel like Christmas dinner as a result. Yes it's just a piece of cheese, but that's not really how these things work psychologically!

OP posts:
wheelsfellofflongago · 08/02/2020 08:19

I wouldn't and didn't. Believe me if there is anything wrong with your baby you will look at the things you did and irrationally blame yourself. It's really not worth it.

If anything pregnancy teaches you that it's quite pathetic now much people are obsessed with drinking and the idea you can only have fun when drinking. The amount of people trying to get me to have a drink when pregnant was crazy. My choice not to, but alcohol generally has a bit in pregnancy warning on the bottles.

wheelsfellofflongago · 08/02/2020 08:19

Bit = not in pregnancy 🤰

Megan2018 · 08/02/2020 08:20

I can never see the point of one drink, so I had nothing in pregnancy.
I’ve only had 4 glasses since baby born (almost 5 months old) -my attitude to drinking has changed hugely through pregnancy and birth. I used to drink a hell of a lot-now I just don’t fancy it.

OP you may find as your pregnancy progresses and you feel the baby inside you the desire to protect at all costs changes your approach to lots of things.

No, the odd glass won’t cause harm-but is it worth exposing baby to it? I wanted my baby to have the best of everything, no compromises. Things like anniversaries and birthdays etc lose importance once you are a parent.

hopefulhalf · 08/02/2020 08:21

Oh bless, this is just the first of many, many things you will need to forgo for your DCs.

bingbangbing · 08/02/2020 08:26

From my link:

"
But wait... if you look at the 2,550 alcohol-exposed children who received FAS diagnostic evaluations in the WA State FAS clinics over the past 20 years:
a. 1 out of every 7 children diagnosed with full FAS (the most severe outcome of alcohol exposure) had a reported exposure of 1-8 drinks per week."

FAS is not good. Why risk that?

The NHS advice is the way it is for a reason.

It's worse than smoking in my eyes.

fuzzymoon · 08/02/2020 08:28

My personal view is that as you can't see the baby growing there is a disconnect.

You wouldn't give a baby any alcohol at all. Why ? A tiny amount wouldn't hurt them ! It probably wouldn't but it's a drug , it's unhealthy and even though we can't prove tiny amounts will or won't hurt a baby we just don't do it.

So my thinking is what's the difference with an unborn baby or a foetus ? Why give them alcohol when you wouldn't when they are born ?

I know it is diluted as the alcohol goes to them via your bloodstream they are still getting it.

Ionlymakegirls · 08/02/2020 08:28

I did'nt find out I was pregnant until I was 15 weeks, DH and I had IVF in 2014 which failed and we resigned ourselves to the fact it wasnt going to happen, I have DD 12 from a previous relationship. The week before I found out, I had been on my first girls holiday to gran caneria, it was messy!! When I found out, I was scared, I hadnt taken care of me or my growing baby for the first 15 weeks...... guess what, she is fine, was a bit small 6.4, but is 8 months old now and is perfect. Im not saying go out and get drunk, but if research shows one glass on special occasions won't hurt, then I think I believe this is true.

DaisyDaisydoo · 08/02/2020 08:30

I didn’t in the first trimester, but I enjoyed a glass of Prosecco on special occasions like my birthday, Xmas day etc. Pregnancy is hard work, if you fancy a small drink in moderation every now and then I really wouldn’t beat yourself up about it.

But then I was probably really strict about other stuff that others wouldn’t worry about. Just be sensible and do what you feel comfortable with.

mynameiscalypso · 08/02/2020 08:30

I had the occasional drink when pregnant - usually once every couple of weeks and only one. I didn't think it was a big deal personally.

OutComeTheWolves · 08/02/2020 08:31

I had the odd drink - a glass of Prosecco at a wedding and a wine on New Year's Eve.

For me the biggest problem is people using pregnancy as an excuse to police women's bodies. It infuriates me. My viewpoint is I'm an intelligent adult woman and I'm more than capable of doing some research and coming to my own decision (even if it sits outside present day norms in the U.K.). I don't judge other people for coming to a different conclusion to me so I don't expect to be judged for mine.

I don't think I'd mind if it was just alcohol but it's bloody everything- exercise, sleep, deli meats, coffee, cola, steak, pork, hair dye, escape rooms, hot tubs, pineapples - just fuck off!! Worse still I find people are only happy to offer their opinion when it would have no impact on them. For example happy to tell me at a party that I shouldn't be putting pineapple on my plate because it's 'linked to miscarriage' (it isn't) but if I asked someone to wipe down my kitchen worktops because I didn't want to expose the baby to potentially harmful chemicals in the spray, they'd look at me like I was mad.

I think the problem is it's such an emotive issue. I found the worst offender was an otherwise lovely family member who had been ttc for a long time. I think it's easy to think well if I was pregnant I wouldn't do x, y or z. But we need a bit of understanding that it's not a black and white issue where one choice is correct and anything else is wrong.