Catching up with TTC after MC thread January 2020

[BecsterG]

Hi Ladies, hoping you all can join soon. The TTC (trying to conceive) after MC (miscarriage) January group have been so supportive I hope we can keep it up for those who have BFP (big fat positive).

Hi,

Please can I join? I’m 30 (no children) and just found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant again (so early I know!).

I had a MMC in October at 12 week scan (measured ~9.5 weeks) after seeing a heartbeat at 7 week scan.

Last month I had a chemical pregnancy at 4+3.

I’m extremely anxious about this pregnancy, so much so that I’ve already been signed off of work. Hoping I can get some support here from others that know the same feeling

@ChampooPapi yes I turned my data off on Saturday which meant no social media, no WhatsApp etc and that helped so much. I will definitely be doing something like that again this weekend. It's definitely getting worse by the day
@MilsCookie I had a great scan at 8 weeks and everything was fine, so should be no reason to worry but obviously I am! Most of my symptoms have eased and I just feel tired, but not exhausted my boobs are killing me though and I have a weird thing where my nipples are agony if I get cold! Literally make me want to cry. How are you today?
@TerribleImagination that sounds like an upset stomach to me rather than anything pregnancy related, I would try not to worry too much.
Hi @veryanxious and welcome

Thanks @Whiffle77 - I have had some more cramps this morning, but nothing worse than usual really and no bleeding. Also super lucky that my best mate is a midwife (currently on mat leave), so I’ve quizzed her already this morning too 😆 She’s told me cramps and loss of symptoms are super common and nothing to worry about, so I feel better now!

Hi @Veryanxious 👋🏻 Congrats on your BFP lovey! ❤️ You poor thing feeling so anxious you’ve been signed off work 😢 I think pretty much all of us on here have been through / are going through the anxiety of pregnancy after a loss, it’s just awful isn’t it!

I’m 6+3 now and still worrying about little things, but those days from 4 weeks were so worrying! The best you can do is to keep reminding yourself that this is a completely different pregnancy. My close friend (who had a molar pregnancy before having her little boy, who’s now 4 months) said something to me when I found out I was pregnant again, that I kept telling myself when I found myself getting worked up and worried... You’ve had your bad luck, you’ve been that 1 in 4 and the odds are in your favour for this pregnancy. So just try and remember that lovey. I know it’s so so hard though. Sending love! ❤️

Oh @TerribleImagination I totally understand your worries...it'll be okay! (I've PM'd you!)

@BS9790 thank you lovely! How exciting about your scan! Do you have a feeling whether it's a boy or a girl? Would love to see your "bumpie" if you want to share! I forgot you're a teacher as well! Are you primary or secondary? I'm primary! x

@Whiffle77 Glad your symptoms are easing but bless you and your nipples! Ouchy! Switching off social media is definitely a good thing to do from time to time. It can become all-consuming. I'm beginning to feel more nauseous but it's mainly when it comes to meal times. I look at food and suddenly feel really sick. But then at the same time I'm feeling a lot hungrier than usual, so much so that my stomach rumbles just a couple of hours after I've eaten! And hunger pains have been waking me up in the night too grrrr. Also the boob pain is becoming AGONY. Already said goodbye to my bras haha! (Probably a bad idea but they're so uncomfortable!) so lots of lovely first trimester symptoms!

Welcome @Veryanxious and so sorry you find yourself here. I also found out I'd had a mmc at the 12 week scan (baby had stopped growing two weeks before). It was the most traumatic thing I've ever been through so I totally understand how you feel and it's completely normal to feel anxious. Everyone here is definitely in that boat! Congrats on your BFP too

@TerribleImagination hey lovely. I can hand on heart say these things are textbook at your stage, it is a worry and the stretching definitely doesn't feel like stretching at all, it feels like period pains. The same goes for when you've eaten, you think oh my god I'm getting period cramps! It's all over! (I even had this yesterday 🤦) then about fifteen minutes later I went to the toilet and lo and behold they went.

So basically your whole gut, stomach, uterus, everything down that way will cramp and give you hassle, especially I found between week 6-9. And unfortunately all those pains feel like period pains, or the beginning of something 'not good'. I promise you will get used to them, they will become more easily recognized as wind, or needing the toilet, or just generally better at not constantly mongering them so they seem less.

But you will worry still and that is totally normal, like I said, over twelve weeks and still totally forgot yesterday that when I eat I get severe cramps for a bit.

It is an unbelievably stressful time, plus your hormones are going through the roof now and will continue to do so.

I think your doing an amazing job, you are so compassionate and so supportive on here as well as obviously being a tough bird yourself.

But you need to be looked after by your partner at this time, voice your fears, explain yourself as much and whenever you need, because you absolutely need a calm and supportive person by your side who understands what your going through. He can only do this if you get it off your chest when your are worried.

But remember the rule for when obsessing and worrying goes too far and is really impinging on your day to day mental health and life

When you leave the bathroom leave your worries there

You wipe, you see nothing, you wash your hands, and you leave. And until your next visit you flush that worry down the loo with your toilet paper

Big hug to you 🤗💜🌈

@MilsCookie I'm wigging out as usual but I am following my own advise and flushed worries about ten minutes ago so going to browse b&q online now.

Ahhh, b&q paint charts....every pregnant woman's porn 😆

@ChampooPapi As always, you’ve made me feel so much better ❤️ You’re so right lovey, thank you so much for your reply, you always know exactly what to say! You wonderful woman! ❤️

I didn’t wake my partner up in the night when I had the cramps then, but I had them again this morning (not as bad though) and honestly thought I was going to be sick in the shower, but couldn’t figure out if that was from worry or hormones 😂 Anyway I told him about my stressful night and worrying again with the cramps this morning and he was ace as always, got me in for a big cuddle until the cramps went away and I felt better!

I hope you manage to relax a bit for your scan today! Can’t wait to see the pics 🥰

Also in good news I feel properly sick this morning, so my boobs deflating a bit has been replaced with increased nausea! All good signs I hope 🤞🏻☺️

Ooh also @ChampooPapi... best home decorating tip anyone ever gave to me was get a Farrow and Ball paint chart, then take it to Johnstone’s to colour match! Our entire house is now Farrow and Ball colours, but waaaaaay cheaper! All we did is give them the code and they popped it in the machine and hey presto! 👍🏻

@TerribleImagination you are such a wonderful and kind hearted woman 💖. And also a woman of the same mind as me as far as paint goes, we have a brewer's so we also have colour matched a few rooms with Farrow and ball. Did do a couple in the real deal for the ultimate chalky finish over the years, but the eye watering price 🤦. I also did a big sideboard type thing in a f&b blue wood paint and oh my god it cost me like a hundred pound. I will NEVER tell my partner this information. I miscalculated the amounts and because it was an eggshell it didn't stretch far well and I had to finish the dam thing. That was a few months back and I will now always colour match it!

We once did a whole sitting room/diner in ammonite f&b then had to move out 4 months later ( a rental) the new owners were very happy, the absolute bastards.

It was ludacris painting a rental in it but when you expect to live somewhere for a good few years it's so nice to put your stamp on your environment. But yes, a very expensive stamp that I will never quite get over 😆

@ChampooPapi Haha yessss to the F&B sneaky matching! Love it! But ooouuccch to painting 4 months before moving out 😣 I bet the new owners were really bloody happy, haha!

They just have such gorgeous colours don’t they! 😍

Haha @ChampooPapi and @terribleimagination I can completely relate to the F&B obsession! We moved into a house that needs a lot of work last year, and I am obsessed with their colours!! So far my husband has been happy to buy F&B so I'm just keeping on!! 😂 finished off our spare room this weekend in some leftover F&B, and got two more rooms to do in it in June! I think all the other rooms will be non F&B now though given the dramatic pay cut I will take whilst on mat leave!
Glad you are feeling better @terribleimagination and good luck today @champoopapi
Oh I am the same with bras @MilsCookie but I cant go without - bought a lot of wireless ones in a bigger size but they already seem to be too small!! I was already a big size to begin with, I am scared how big they are going to get! Glad the rest of your symptoms aren't too bad at least.

@Whiffle77 the thing with it is that it doesn't smell basically at all does it? When I colour match we had to ventilate for like two weeks (though obviously totally worth it for the price drop).

At the same time I did go for the real deal for our 2 year olds room because of that, it has next to zero oder. The next day you'd hardly know anyone had painted. Plus it was 3 for 2 at b&q so not as bad.

Going for 'Wevet' this time for our living room, and brewer's have the same machine as where @TerribleImagination used at Johnstone's. You don't even need the swatch they do just know the colours and they are a perfect match. The finish is less chalky, but the colour is so spot on.

The smell is so much stronger though like industrial so utilising this good weather to be able to keep the windows open for a few weeks.

Also this has been the BEST distraction from my scan today 🙂 you guys are immense 🙌✨💖

Haha glad our nerdy paint chat has helped distract you!

That’s interesting about F&B paint having no smell! Very handy for kids rooms! We’re the same as you, just open all the windows! Although we’ve probably done the majority of our painting in the winter months, so just sat and froze waiting for the smell to go 😂 We have a bit of a cornforth white obsession in this house haha!

Can I throw little greene into the mix?! We need a new front door colour and I’ve been haunting both websites trying to decide. Our house is mostly while and I do think F&B have the better whites. I’m with you on the colour matching though. I can never commit enough to pay full price!

@TerribleImagination glad you are feeling better. It’s so hard not to think the worst when you get all these niggley things. It’s a long road ahead but we will get there 💪

Welcome @Veryanxious and congratulations on your bfp. Lots of people here who understand the anxiety so you have company here. And lots of positive vibes!

Ooh what are your door colour options @Sparkl? and thank you lovey! ❤️ We will get there, you’re right! 🥰

Firstly, and most importantly obviously. Shout out to @Sparkl, little green is excellent for furniture and also totally odourless practically. But it is even more then Farrow and ball I think, I brought a tiny pot to do a change table and to paint the wood on our snuzpod. When I say me I mean my partner obviously 😏

And second far less important news while I wait for bloods. All A OK ladies with both twins, measuring nearly 13 weeks, one a few days ahead 👣

Champoo Breaths a VEEERRY long sigh of relief and collapses in a heap pawing for cheese based snacks

@TerribleImagination Our hall is cornforth white 🙏 colour matched a treat

It's just not the same as other whites!

(As I have said many times to my partner while he looks at 6 different shades of while from their chart) 😂

Hi everyone,
I hope you don’t mind me joining. I was on the Jan thread that @MilsCookie set up and I have actually be in touch with her lots on WhatsApp during our journeys since and have also got my BFP recently. I am only around 5 weeks and the initial joy has really rubbed off and now I am just terrified and a total nervous wreck. I’m exhausted and have really sore hips (and had lots of cramping during implantation) but that as well as lots of excess CM (sorry tmi!) are my only symptoms so far which of course worries me further! If anyone has any useful tips on managing the anxiety I would love to hear. I am going to book a 6 week scan.
X

We've been planning (and saving for) an extension since we moved in, which will mean most other rooms will need painting as well, so we've not done anything other than put in a new kitchen and touch up the magnolia in the rest of the house. We now have the plans in for planning permission (which we should get, as I've been back and forth with the council since our pre-application to basically see what they would approve), so once lockdown is over I can start looking at wallpaper and paint

I've already utilised Ikea's free interior designer service to get an idea how I'm going to furnish it!

Welcome @Veryanxious and @Mammacooks and congratulations to you both!

@Mammacooks I've coped by just thinking of myself as being pregnant, not that I'm having a baby, if you see what I mean. I try not to think too much about there being a baby at the end of it at the moment, but after my 20 week scan I will probably chill out a bit (I sincerely hope!)

Yes we've managed to buy it on deals too which helps, and the lack of smell is great! I bought so many sample pots though, even that adds up 🙈 I have seen some little greene too @sparkl and they have some lovely colours too!
Oooh @firefly exciting house bits for you then!! Feel free to share your plans as I love some house porn, and as Champoo says it is great distraction from real life! We have extension plans too but probably two years off the first lot (I have multiple ones I want to do, husband is thrilled!! Not sure where the money will come from...)
@ChampooPapi great news on the scan 💞 you must be so relieved! And now it's out the way too so less anxiety. Very pleased.
Hi @Mammacooks and welcome, we all know how you feel. The first few weeks are very hard - all I can recommend is taking it a day at a time - I never thought in weeks, and was just pleased to get each day gone. It also helps to repeat to yourself certain mantras - e.g. today I am pregnant! A lot of us have found meditation very helpful too. But at the end of the day, the only thing that helps is time passing. You will also find your anxiety levels go up and down through the weeks so just enjoy it when you feel better. Try and keep busy too if you feel well enough, so the days fo fast! There is always someone on here with good advice though when you are feeling especially rubbish. If you are only 5 weeks I wouldn't anticipate many symptoms yet anyway, mine kicked in around 6 weeks. Some people dont get many symptoms at all

@MilsCookie, no idea on gender... I thought my scan at 12 weeks looked like a girl 😂😂 but for no reason at all!! I tried to do the nub theory thing but I can't actually see a nub on the photos so gave up with that!
I will share my bump pics with you after I've had the scan 😊

I'm primary too, are you having to return to work June 1st?x