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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Catching up with TTC after MC thread January 2020

977 replies

BecsterG · 18/01/2020 09:41

Hi Ladies, hoping you all can join soon. The TTC (trying to conceive) after MC (miscarriage) January group have been so supportive I hope we can keep it up for those who have BFP (big fat positive).

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AlviesMam · 30/04/2020 14:31

@MilsCookie are you going to get an early scan? How do you feel? Totally normal to be nervous but remember most women go into having healthy babies after a miscarriage. Keeping positive for you SmileDaffodil

MilsCookie · 30/04/2020 15:35

Thank you so much @AlviesMam! SO good to hear you've made it to 14 weeks (that seems to have flown?!) and your chromosome results were good. Amazing news! I think I will look into an early scan, especially as my hospital aren't allowing partners at the 12 week scan Sad. That was when I found out there was no longer a heartbeat with my mmc so I will be absolutely terrified for that scan and could really do with DP with me!
I'm feeling okay at the moment... I've had some lower uterus on and off cramps the last few days which made me think AF was on her way... but actually it feels more like a dull pressure feeling than AF. I've also been extremely tired mid afternoon for the last couple of days and had a bit of nausea but I suppose I'm only around 4 weeks so it's still early days! Oh and my boobs have been sore since 5dpo! Which also made me think I was out as I get that every month! Just so so over the moon but trying not to get ahead of myself! How have you found your pregnancy so far this time round? xxx

FireflyGirl · 30/04/2020 15:56

So glad to see you here, @MilsCookie! Congratulations 🎉🎉Grin

I have coped with the anxiety by compartmentalising - it is easier to think of it as I am pregnant, rather than I am going to have a baby iyswim?

MilsCookie · 30/04/2020 17:27

Thank you @FireflyGirl!!! I am still in shock! Yes I think I understand what you mean... just try not to get too ahead of myself? Going to take it one day at a time for now... Also, how do you count how far along you are? As my cycles are usually 31 days long and today is day 32, does that make me 4+1... or go by the actual calendar and say 4+4? I know that I ovulate around day 17 not day 14 in a "typical" 28 day cycle so thought I should count it as a bit less. I know it will all be corrected at the dating scan (if I make it that far...) but for now I just wondered when to count my weeks from! xxx

ChampooPapi · 30/04/2020 17:56

@FireflyGirl absolutely perfect and beautiful scan picture, so clear 👣 and frankly gorgeous!

@MilsCookie I'm so happy to be responded to you on a pregnancy thread 🎉🥳. I am made up for you girl! Really strong tests, just like mine, and all ok so far, ten weeks myself tomorrow. You are going to be fine this time. We both had the same missed miscarriage situation at the 12 week scan, so it is unbelievably unlikely to happen to us again. They are actually very very rare, we were very unlucky, but we are now very very lucky and we have all those stats on our side. Plus we took a good few months to catch so we out bodies have selected the strongest time, and the strongest eggs to be fertilized. You definitely have to limit worrying any way you can in this first trimester. It is a slog that's for sure.

I am trying to only worry when i go to the bathroom, always the wiping will be anxiety enducing. Then when I leave I try and leave it behind there, put it on its box, until the next visit!

I think it's best to go as 4.1 to be honest, that would be the date of your last period being 32 days ago yes? Then definitely go with it in that case.

And congratulations again 💜♀️🌈♂️👣

BecsterG · 30/04/2020 18:37

@FireflyGirl amazing scan pic! Sorry I meant to message you this morning but it's been one of those days. Can I guess what it is from the scan? You must be really relieved.

@MilsCookie Congratulations amazing news!! So happy to have you join us on this thread. It's exciting but also net wracking. We've all be there in this thread so completely understand where ours coming from.

@AlviesMam so sorry you're still so sick. Really hope it passes soon for you. I hope the next 4 weeks go quick and you get the all clear.

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FireflyGirl · 30/04/2020 18:55

I've no clue, @BecsterG. We'll find out at the 20 week scan.

@MilsCookie it's difficult to say which is the best date to use. I calculated mine originally based on a website which takes account of lmp and average duration. It worked out a different date from the viability scan I then had. According to the viability scan I'd now be 12+4, according to the website I'd be 13+0, and today's scan put me at 13+4.

MilsCookie · 30/04/2020 19:05

Thank you so much @ChampooPapi and I'm so happy to be able to join you on this board! Four months felt like a LIFETIME!! Thank you for your words of reassurance...how do you always know the right thing to say?! You're amazing! Star And I like the leaving the worries in the toilet analogy - defo going to start doing that! Wow I can't believe you're 10 weeks already?! That has flown by, although maybe it hasn't for you!! How are you feeling? Thank you for the dating advice - I will go with 4+1 Smile xx

@BecsterG thank you lovely! I still remember when you got your BFP! You were one of the first from that thread weren't you? How have you been? xx

MilsCookie · 30/04/2020 19:07

p.s. @FireflyGirl that must be so reassuring that they've put you forward a few days!! Brilliant news and just what a beautiful scan pic! x

ChampooPapi · 30/04/2020 19:25

@MilsCookie well you always know how to be an absolute rock for everyone around you so right back at you ❤️. I definitely think going with that date wise is for the best as well for scans. Because you'll no doubt be a few days further then you think that way which will work out nicely for an early scan, or a harmony test. It's not good to be less then you think on those scans, having to return even a week or two later, having to worry and wait again.

So for your sanity stick to that and hopefully you'll go to an early scan at around 7/8 weeks and you'll be a little further along then you think and they'll get a really nice clear picture and heartbeat.

The time from 4-8 weeks actually went pretty fast because I was basically a non person, I hardly left my bed I was so ill with morning sickness. It's been the last two weeks that have felt like a months, it's been torture 😆🤦 the slowness has been epic!

Only six days until my harmony test and scan though now so the countdown officially begins

ChampooPapi · 30/04/2020 19:35

@MilsCookie also I know it sounds cut throat, but hide all threads that mention miscarriage. It is self preservation, you will get yourself into a bad place if you continue to read them after what we went through I imagine.

It's not something I plan on doing forever, just through this pregnancy.

At the beginning I was so happy and elated but the anxiety does creep in and you have to protect your mind while you are going through this first trimester especially.

But it was a personal choice. I thrive of supporting other women who have been through this grief and loss so it was actually a really hard decision for me. But I had to do it because it was just sucking any trace of hope I had that day if I engaged

BS9790 · 30/04/2020 19:44

@FireflyGirl amazing scan! So pleased for you all went well.

@MilsCookie... Ahhhh!!! So happy to see you on here!!! 😁😁😁

I'll be 14 weeks on Saturday and still full of anxiety! I am an anxious over thinker though, in all situations!

BecsterG · 30/04/2020 19:59

@FireflyGirl I think a girl from your scan! That's my guess but I'm not very good at it. Ha ha

Yes @MilsCookie I got my BFP in January much to my surprise. I'm 19 weeks tomorrow. I have my 20 week scan next week. I'm so ready for this scan I think the week will drag by.

Not long until your scan no @ChampooPapi. It's so exciting.

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ChampooPapi · 30/04/2020 20:32

@BecsterG I'm hoping I'll become very zen next week as it's drawing so close. I've spent the last two weeks worrying a lot so I feel like maybe I've got it out of my system 😬 we can only hope!

I can't believe you've got your 20 week scan next week as well! You need the zen too 🙏 I can imagine that is the next anxiety enducing one on the list. You'll be feeling so much better when it's this time next week and it's over. You can definitely relax then, you'll be half way through 💜.

What a journey this is, it's absolutely insane isn't it, such an emotional rollercoaster

BecsterG · 30/04/2020 20:58

@ChampooPapi yes excited but nervous too. Fingers crossed everything is ok.

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FireflyGirl · 01/05/2020 09:05

@BecsterG nearly halfway there!

I told my friends last night, and one of them said 'it's not long until November'.

I suppose I'm 1/3 of the way now, though.

BecsterG · 01/05/2020 10:59

@FireflyGirl I know it's madness. I remember when I was pregnant with my son, the first 20 weeks went by quite slowly but then the second half of my pregnancy seemed to go so much quicker. I think once you've had your scans you have some reassurance and you can embrace being pregnant, you have a bump and can start to look forward and plan time will move faster. Funny one of my friends asked how many weeks I was the other day and she said wow that's gone so fast! Ha ha

November will be here before you know it. It's May now so almost summer!!

What is everyone's due date and are you going to find out the sex?

X

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ChampooPapi · 01/05/2020 11:21

@BecsterG this is my fourth pregnancy and the first 20 weeks absolutely feel the slowest. Trust me in a few weeks practically you'll start panicking you haven't got everything ready for the baby! You get so used to the mindlessly slow going of the first trimester and most of the second, that from 30 weeks onwards it really creeps up on you then.

I'm due on 27th of November, ten weeks today. Had a scan at 8 weeks and twins have been confirmed. Everything possibly crossed they are both still there next week for my harmony test 🙏

ChampooPapi · 01/05/2020 11:21

@BecsterG how did you find the last trimester with your son? We're you quite active still?

MilsCookie · 01/05/2020 12:08

Thank you so much much @BS9790!! So happy to finally be joining you on this thread.

Thank you for the advice @ChampooPapi... I think you're absolutely right and I do need to try and stay positive so looking at those threads won't help. Although im still really rooting for all those girls and so I know I'll keep checking in to see if there are any more BFPs!! (I know you did that too and I really appreciated your support and encouragement!!) is the harmony test to find out the sex?! How exciting! I didn't realise you could have it this early on.

@BecsterG when are you due? The NHS calculator says 7th Jan for me... which is verrrrry close to Christmas Day but I don't care as long as I get a healthy baby! I think we will find out the sex as that was the plan last time. It's our first baby so we're super excited (and nervous)!!

ChampooPapi · 01/05/2020 12:50

@MilsCookie oh absolutely I'll keep up with our thread on the conception board, I'd never hide that one!

Give this thread a read, it's all about the Harmony/nipt test. It's a much more accurate anomonly test then the screening at 12 weeks on the NHS. But it does cost 400 pound. You do get to find out the sex of you want and you obviously get a scan.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3886190-NIPT-would-you-pay

BecsterG · 01/05/2020 13:06

@MilsCookie I'm due on 26th September and we're going to find out the sex this time.

@ChampooPapi my third trimester with my son was ok I seem to remember. I was active in terms of walking and swimming but was uncomfortable sitting as his wee feet were up in my rips on the right ALL the time!!

I had hoped to be more active with this pregnancy and keep doing my spin and start swimming but obviously not right now. I really need to go back to doing the Joe Wicks pregnancy work outs. Grin

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BecsterG · 01/05/2020 13:07

@ChampooPapi that's so exciting about twins. I didn't know that about the harmony test. Mmm...

I've just got everything crossed that everything is how it should be at next weeks scan.

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ChampooPapi · 01/05/2020 14:30

@BecsterG after my previous loss and the fact it's twins, I wanted to find out as early as possible about any possible anomonly's. It's also a blood test taken from you which contains the babies dna so is 99 percent accurate. Where as the NHS test is not very accurate as it just factors in your age and doesn't actually test the baby other the the nucal measurement.

It's all a personal thing really and it boils down to whether you would continue with the pregnancy or not. If you would then the nipt/harmony is pointless. But for me I know I would not.

I'll definitely get a 'low' score on my NHS test because I'm 33, but I could still have a baby with any of the sydromes they test for as their test is only 80% accurate. Though obviously those conditions are likely to be picked up at a 20 week scan, I under no circumstances wanted to get to 20 weeks and then have to terminate my pregnancy at that late stage.

I have two other children so they are a total factor in my decision to get the Harmony test. And it only tests for down syndrome, pataus, and Edwards.

The NHS only send you for one through them if your chances are 1/150. In France for example they send you even if your chances are 1/300.

It's just too much of a gamble for me to rely on there testing system, even though chances are so low. People obviously still give birth to babies with down sydrome who had the NHS test and it came back low risk, and nothing was picked up.

I think you can still probably have it of your worried but as your so close to getting your full anomonly measurements for your twenty week scan I really wouldn't worry. It's incredibly unlikely they made a mistake and if they haven't spotted something it will 99 percent of the time be picked up at your scan

ChampooPapi · 01/05/2020 14:36

It has obviously drawn controversy as if it is adopted by the NHS as their new screening at 12 weeks (it was supposed to be rolled out over the next few years pre covid 19 on the nhs) some believe it will eliminate down syndrome.

There was a program by Sally Philipps on the BBC a while back called 'a world without down sydrome' which covered this test.

My partners uncle who lived with them while he grew up had down syndrome so we are very aware of the condition in our family

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