Smoking while pregnant

[Eimz]

I am really beating myself up about the smoking. I am currently 18weeks pregnant and smoker , since I found out I was pregnant I have really cut back a lot. I do not smoke a full cigarette I ask my partner or friends for a couple of drags.. all day in work I don't smoke it's just when I'm home. Does anyone know how truly harmful this is for the baby? I know people who smoked during pregnancy a lot more then me.. I know I cant justify my smoking but I really am only taking pulls and then literally downing a gallon of water to try make myself feel better :(
I've loads going on I've failed my driving test and an exam I was doing and my partner is between jobs and my mam is fighting with me and sometimes I just need the odd drag or two too calm me down

I was a smoker and I quit with all of mine.

Your partner should be stopping too that will make it hush easier for you.

Imagine taking a draw of the cigarette and blowing it straight into the face of your newborn baby. You wouldn't do that would you? Picture that every time you feel like smoking.

I'm not going to judge you you've already cut down and It's bloody hard to quit but if there's one single thing you can do for your unborn baby try and make it this.

Also be honest with your midwife as they will need to extra scans and things to check growth and blood flow to the placenta as smoking can affect these things.

I believe some nicotine replacement can be uses when pregnant under the guidance of a doctor so it may be worth you speaking to smoking cessation instead of trying to go cold turkey.

I was a smoker and quit the day I found out that I was pregnant. It's an addiction yes but we're all addicted in the same way so if me and a few others on here can do it, why can't you? That's a serious question. We all used to smoke the same cigarettes that you do now, all with the same addictive ingredients as well. Just quit, you know there's no excuse really. That's honestly the best advice you'll get. You'll be judged massively and if you have a premature baby and in any way smell of smoke or your notes say you smoke, all the medical staff will be speaking about you to each other saying they can't believe you kept smoking and let this happen. They honestly will because they're human beings and will judge. Ex smokers are even judging. Don't put yourself through the guilt. Get yourself to your nearest chemist and ask them to start you on NRT asap and ditch the bloody things

To the judgy people, the smokers who stopped as soon as they found out they were pregnant.

Were you sharing a house with 3 smokers at the time?! Was your partner a smoker who refused to quit??

Some very negative and harsh comments here. I understand that smoking during pregnancy isn't good for you or your baby but trust me when you find out your pregnant you cant just give up instantly. Even my midwife said so. It's an addiction regardless of you being pregnant or not. I still smoke rarely but I still do as I find it difficult to stop completely. I am trying but that's all I can do. I dont feel guilty at all and people making others feel guilty on here is a terrible thing to do.

I dont want to hear if I can do it you can do it. Good for you giving up. Well done. I'm not you! Remember that. Were all different so people that are up on that high horse please step down

Prioritise your baby. Quit. And yes, a 20 year, pack a day smoker here and I quit for my pregnancies.
No excuses when you know the harm you are doing.

@Eimz you're minimising these things now but earlier on they were so stressful you needed "a drag" to cope with them .

Which one is it? Are they minuscule life events that don't bother you or things that drive you to smoke because you struggle to cope?

Smokers are the best at coming up for excuses to why they need to smoke. They're addicted. Temptation is everywhere. I had cigarettes left in my bag. My friend smoked in front of me. I had a stressful day. I couldn't sleep.

The reality is, you smoke because you want to. You use life events to justify the behaviour because it makes you feel less guilty about doing something you know you shouldn't. I've been there. I chose to go back on e cigs because I enjoyed it. I lasted two weeks after the birth of my child because I realised I technically could start doing it again and no one would judge me half as much for it.

You really just need to stop doing it. It's hard for the first week but it's not fair on your baby. 18 weeks to keep smoking is a long time. And the harsh reality is, the damage might be done already. That's the risk you take when you smoke. However, it might not be. That's why you need to quit tonight and stop making up excuses for it.

I know I sound harsh but smoker's excuses don't wash with me. I've been there, done that and got the t shirt.

And yes, my partner was a smoker. Still is.

If you can't get the motivation to stop smoking when pregnant, you never will.

@peachypetite - your shitty remarks are probably going to drive her to have a cigarette. I take it you've never been a smoker??

OP - try NRT or vaping. The patches are quite good. Either would be much less harmful.

It doesn't sound like you are smoking a lot. I'm sure you will be fine but there's obviously always that risk.

Good luck with quitting

I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant because I cared more about my baby's health than my own wants/needs.

I'm sorry if you came here expecting people not to be harsh. I think you need a shock. This is unacceptable behaviour.

@NameChange30 @Missbee2bee

Do you not think the softly softly approach or the approach full of excuses tends to actually encourage people to keep smoking? I know a few months ago if a midwife had minimised the risk to me by saying loads of shite about it being so difficult and a very hard addiction, I would have fed into it. The smoker in me would have said "well yes it is". And I would have re hashed it to everyone who asked me about it- "Well my midwife said it's a very hard addiction to kick so I'm doing okay"... when I'd not tried half as hard as I could have.

Similarly, I work with a tonne of smokers. Sure, I'd love to go out and have a smoke with them, but I know my baby's health is the most important thing. So I don't. You don't need to copy other's behaviour. You can say no. I often found after 2w the smell of smoke actually turned me. Still does to this day (I quit smoking about 3 years ago and moved to e cigs. I quit e cigs within 2 weeks of finding out I was pregnant). If you want to quit, you can do it within weeks.

The biggest harm from smoking in pregnancy is carbon monoxide which deprives your baby of sufficient oxygen to grow properly. The hundreds of other toxins in smoke also cause significant harm.

Any reputable HCP in the UK will tell you the most important thing is to stay off the fags and avoid heavy exposure to second hand smoke. If you need to use NRT or vaping to accomplish this then that is absolutely fine, while nicotine on its own is not risk free, it is as nothing compared with the harms of smoking.

Can you ask for a community midwife to come round and have a chat with your partner, brother and lodger, or at least take your partner to an appointment where the harm can be explained to him?

And I might add...

Yes I was a heavy smoker.

Yes my partner continued smoking and all my friends smoked.

Yes you can stop instantly. Your midwife is talking shite saying you can't stop straight away.

I was born prematurely because my mum smoked and the placenta deteriorated. She also had late term miscarriages.

I've got health problems that can probably be attributed to the smoking (and was a low birth weight etc at birth). I'm also noticeably shorter than my siblings (adult height and weight differences can be linked to maternal smoking in pregnancy).

Even worse, because all of your eggs form when you're a foetus in the womb, my children are more at risk of certain conditions, thanks to their grandma's inability to quit smoking while pregnant with me. Off the top of my head, risks like growth disorders and autism.

You talk about needing a couple of drags to calm down. What about coming up with some different strategies to try? Going out for a walk? Listening to music with headphones on? Headspace app?

My friend quit using oranges! Apparently it takes the same amount of time to peel and eat an orange as it does to smoke a cigarette. It gives you something to do with your hands as well.

I think shame and judgement makes people quit more than the namby pamby 'you're trying your best' approach. I literally stopped the second I found out because my first thought was that I would harm the baby and my second thought was what on earth will people think of me? I had a weak moment 4 days after quitting and was tempted and my DH said to me 'you need to be prepared to reap what you sow if you have one, I will not stop you in any way but just bare that in mind....' and it sent a chill through me and put me right off caving in. My DH has never smoked but a lot of people at my work smoked, my parents smoke etc. I was aware people around me were smoking but it didn't deter me at all. I was the one making the decision to cause potential harm or not

Hi OP, cutting down/quitting at any point has positive effects and there is strong evidence that pregnancy outcomes are better in women using NRT than in smokers. The advice from @PencilsInSpace is sensible and evidence based.

I was a smoker when pregnant. This was obviously many centuries ago when smoking was not considered bad. Of course if you can give up altogether it is fantastic but if you can cut down a lot this is better than smoking a lot. I was lucky enough to have 3 babies of a good weight who suffered no ill effects from my habit. They are all adults now and healthy adults. Healthy non smoking adults. Try to stop smoking but if you don’t manage to give up completely please don’t waste your time feeling guilty as chances are your baby will be fine. Just keep trying and you will succeed in the end.

It’s not just the smoking whilst pregnant that I would be worried about, it’s the smoking once baby is born too. Too many people use the excuse of ‘we don’t smoke inside or near the baby’ but unless your partner/brother/lodger etc are going to completely decontaminate themselves every time they have a cigarette then the risks to the baby remain.
You clearly care as you are asking for advice, there’s no point in telling you to just quit as obviously an addiction of any kind isn’t easy to just walk away from, however, you have got to try and find a way to walk away from it. The sooner you stop, the easier it will be to not start again once baby is born. I’m a paeds nurse and the amount of babies that are admitted with breathing problems and parents that continuously leave them to go and have a smoke is ridiculous. Please don’t be one of them x

PepePig
"I work with a tonne of smokers."
You still haven't answered my question about whether you live with 3 of them.

This might have already been suggested, but I would ask everyone to make sure that they refuse to give me any. Supportive friends and family shouldn't be providing you with cigarettes.

^YY to this.
Not even a drag

Completely agree with @dtc24

Quitting was one of the hardest things I ever did. I strongly suggest getting professional help x