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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Breast feeding or formula???

97 replies

lovelyjubbly12 · 08/01/2020 17:43

Just wondering what everyone's take on the subject is. I've been seriously considering breast feeding but I'm just not sure if i actually want too... and then I do a complete 360 and feel like a bad mum and almost pressure myself into wanting it....

Is there anyone else out there in the same boat? Does anyone have a pro and con on both types of feeding?

I just feel like formula would be easier all round. And I wouldnt usually take the easy route if it's not the best option but I feel overwhelmed as it is, and I feel like one less thing to master would be easier.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
loveskaka · 08/01/2020 22:22

@latheritup

Totally agree!

ChocolateCoins19 · 08/01/2020 22:29

I bottle fed dc1 and 2.. And have opted the same for dc3 when he arrives.

I know they say brest best etc and I don't doubt that
But I've honestly. Had 2 very happy healthy and content children who slept well fed well etc. My reason to FF was I was. Simply embarrassed to BF in front of. People... Yes it's silly but I couldn't get over that fear

I have said I may try to BF dc3 at home but I may still fear it.

boringcreation · 08/01/2020 22:30

@SuziGeo I'm not sure where you're getting your info from but the water needs to be at least 70 degrees when added to the formula to kill any bacteria. I can't comment on your tap water but I'd always boil the water to kill anything just in case. Same with sterilizing the bottles every time..

BecauseReasons · 08/01/2020 22:30

Breastfeeding has been incredibly easy for me. Sterilisers and bottles are a total PITA. Breastfeeding lowers your risk of certain cancers and your baby's risk of leukemia, SIDS, obesity and diabetes in later life. It also helps reduce the number and severity of illnesses for as long as the baby is breastfed. And it's free, convenient and individually tailored for your baby. It also helps them poo because it's a natural laxative so you get fewer issues with constipation.

travellover · 08/01/2020 22:37

I'm expressing collostrum and once that's done I'm going straight to formula - I don't feel any shame in it whatsoever. It's whatever is right for you Smile

Copperleaves · 08/01/2020 23:03

@SuziGeo I have never made up a bottle of formula in my life but I've read enough on here to know the water needs to be boiled and added to the formula - it is the potential bugs in the formula that you are trying to kill off, not in the water.
Shock

Copperleaves · 08/01/2020 23:03

Sorry bacteria rather than bugs

Ibloodylovewomen · 08/01/2020 23:32

@RubaiyatOfAnyone have you seen a bf specialist about the pain? Bf shouldn't be causing you pain at eight weeks, and it would be worth getting some expert help to check latch, and for thrush or mastitis. Unfortunately GPs and midwives are not always great with bf support.

Best wishes.

diydisaster · 08/01/2020 23:36

@SuziGeo it's bottles used for expressed milk that they now say you don't need to sterilise. As pp mentioned the sterilising of bottles used for formula and the boiling water is to kill bacteria commonly found in the powder. I would start if I was you, sorry you've received incorrect advice.

Syncplug · 08/01/2020 23:46

It's good that you are open minded OP, however you choose to feed your baby they will have the nutrients they need to grow. I would recommend at least either harvesting or feeding from the breast colostrum though, it really is incredible stuff that can't be replicated (but if you can't or don't want to then don't put pressure on yourself). As for comparing the 2, a lot falls down to personal preference to be honest, I have done both.

Breastfeeding
Pros: cheap, easy, convinient, tailors to your baby so more watery when it's hot etc.

Negatives: for me personally I found it quite tough emotionally, knowing that I was the only one who could feed him (although you can express milk) and in honesty I was so touched out. Often at night the only thing that would comfort him was feeding, I was exhausted and my body began to feel foreign to me. This obviously isn't the case for everyone, but I wasn't prepared for that aspect of it and although I don't want anymore DC, I couldn't face it again.

Formula is great, if you buy a steam steriliser or bottles which can be sterilised in the microwave then it's not a faff at all, neither is making up the feeds or taking bottles out with you once you're in the swing of it.

Remember there is always an option to Combi feed. If you are in the slightest bit tempted to try it then I would, you can always switch but it's a lot harder the other way round (if you formula feed and then regret not BFing). Whatever you chose, it will be the right decision for you and your baby.

Graphista · 09/01/2020 00:28

I’ve done both but in the interests of honesty not by choice.

I bf dd until 9+ months and then my milk dried due to a medical condition and I had to literally overnight switch to ff.

Based on my own experiences (and everyone is different):

Breast feeding

Pros

1 Free!

2 Very convenient - no need to plan and remember everything needed for ff, no need to restrict where you go based on facilities for ff

3 lovely bonding experience there really is nothing else like it

4 healthier for baby and you - loads of research to back this up.

i Main reason I did so as tons of allergies in both mine and dds dads family and bf supposed to minimise or even eliminate these.

ii Also history of female cancers on my side and it protects against these

iii thrush - I was badly prone to this as a baby and it apparently protects against this too. Dd never had it once

iv breast milk adjusts if baby sick to provide right balance of nutrition and even antibodies amazing stuff

v reduces risk of sids

Cons

1 hurts at first - I think the ‘if it hurts you’re doing it wrong’ myth leads to lots of mums giving up early on because they think they’re doing it wrong. Well your nipples aren’t used to working like that so it takes time for them and you to “toughen up” but it’s temporary. Took around 6 weeks for it to feel completely comfortable for me but then it actually felt quite pleasant.

2 it is quite knackering at first while you’re establishing supply and the onus is always on mum to feed

3 it can be a little stressful not being sure exactly how much baby is having takes time to get used to that. Plus rather too many midwives and health visitors and other hcps seem unaware of the fact that bf babies do tend to lose a little weight at first but that’s normal and they regain it fairly quickly.

Formula feeding

pros

1 dad and others can feed sometimes so that means mum gets a break possibly even an actual lie in!

2 you can eat/drink what you like as you don’t have to worry about it affecting baby.

3 no pain of establishing bf but I also don’t know how painful/uncomfortable it is not feeding until milk dried

4 easy to see how much baby having

Cons

1 expensive! We had the unusual situation of buying everything for a reasonable sized baby all at once and it was SO expensive! Not helped by the fact that the first few formulas we tried she couldn’t tolerate so they went completely wasted! There were no sample size options and I couldn’t even give the stuff away. She also had problems needing different bottles and teats to what we initially bought. It’s very much trial and error. Some babies are fine with the cheaper, most commonly sold items but ime (not just dd but others babies) is that often they need a certain type of bottle & teat as well as formula.

2 inconvenient - I found it a LOT of faff washing, sterilising and making up bottles. At that time it was considered ok to do all bottles for the next 24 hours in one go and refrigerate until needed - apparently that’s no longer advised. But even so that meant iirc 1.5-2 hours total spent washing, sterilising, boiling and cooling water and making up formula. Total pita!

And then if your day didn’t go to plan for whatever reason, eg dd wasn’t very hungry at a feed, or traffic delays or ending up staying out longer than planned for another reason meant that at least one bottle was no longer safe to use and had to be thrown - such a waste of time, effort and money very annoying!

3 There’s an increased risk of infection/stomach upset with ff. we did eventually find a formula dd could just about tolerate but she definitely had more frequent and worse upset tummy’s on formula. Which in addition to the worry & distress this causes also means more nappies - more expense!

4 more to remember when you’re getting ready to go out inc you have to note the time so you don’t use an unsafe bottle. Personally I also found that even WITH the supposedly right kit and everything put together as it should be there were still times I had to clean up mess from a leaked bottle.

5 even at home it’s a pain waiting for a bottle to heat up all the while baby’s getting more stressed & upset. With bf at night I barely needed to wake up! Dd didn’t get to a point where she was screaming cos it was so easy just to put her on the breast.

As I say. Just my take having done both.

Also remember you could establish bf supply and then combi feed - best of both worlds?

None of the choices makes you a good/bad mum. Everyone has their own things they find easier/harder.

I HATED ff with a passion but accept that a big part of that was because it wasn’t my choice. I had wanted to bf at least until 12 months possibly longer. I later learned I could have been given meds to restart my supply which I was not told at the time and that’s really annoyed me too, but can’t change it now (she’s 19 next month!).

Friends and family have done all kinds depending what suits them, including working mums who expressed at work and sahm who Ff from beginning, mums who used donated milk - all sorts

Combi feeding I strongly feel isn’t mentioned nearly enough. But as I didn’t do this I don’t feel qualified to comment much on this.

I chose bf initially for the health reasons but once established it was SO easy and convenient, I loved being able to go places on a whim and not have to worry about feeding dd. Not have to worry about getting home before the next feed was due. I can change a nappy anywhere! (Ex nanny) with one hand!

I’d say give it a good go if you can, in the knowledge it takes time/patience to establish but if it’s not working for whatever reason (and that very much includes mums mh) then switch to either combi or fully ff.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/01/2020 07:09

I think the different pros and cons are more or less important to different people. For me personally the thing that kept me BF when it felt hard was the prospect of having to make up formula in the night. I really appreciated not having to get out of bed to feed and for me all the BFs at night was preferable to half the FFs at night.

GemmaC1990 · 09/01/2020 07:46

With my first I combine fed, and I managed to keep the breastfeeding going for about 3 months until I couldn’t take it anymore. My daughter would latch for what felt like hours, she’d fall asleep feeding so I’d put her down to rest and she’d cry for more milk. It was a viscous cycle and for me it was hell. I couldn’t express very well so no one else could feed her but me. After 4 months I gave up and exclusively bottle fed her. Then my partner at the time was able to help with feeds as well. It’s well worth a shot, but don’t feel like you have to. Just try it and try it whilst you’re in hospital because the midwives are fantastic help. I wouldn’t worry too much, if I have anymore I’m not going to beat myself up about it, I’ll definitely try it again and if it doesn’t work then at least we can say we tried!!

SuziGeo · 09/01/2020 08:18

I'm going with what I was told and shown by both the hospital midwife and community midwife. The paediatrician recommended a specific formula, Guigiz Expert Hypoallergenic, and on the pack instructions it specifically says that it shouldn't be made with water above 40 degrees, and using water at this temperature is not a neccesity. So I think it must depend on the formula. Maybe this one has some active ingredient that needs the cooler temperature. Of course if I was travelling I would boil the water to be sure it is safe to use but I know here the water has the highest rating. As for sterilising each time, all health professionals I asked told me not to get a steriliser (my DH was stressing about this so trust me, we asked the same question many times) The idea being that your boob and clothes aren't sterile so as long as bottles are well cleaned and prepared in a hygienic environment then exposure to a few germs is seen as a good thing.
BUT, I think everyone should go with what is advised by their health professionals, just to be safe, and not take my or anyone elses word for itSmile I just wanted to give a different perspective cause before I had to supplement with formula I thought the bottle prep was going to be a bigger hassle than it actually is.

LolaLollypop · 09/01/2020 08:59

I also agree that combi feeding gives you the best of both worlds. Those first few months are hhaarrddd!! So many mum's struggle with the pressure of trying to breastfeed. No harm in bringing in a few bottles so people can help you out imo. Then, if you settle into more of a routine, just go with whatever you prefer!

sickandtiredofsick · 09/01/2020 11:43

The bacteria is in the powder not the water 😳

I understand some formulas for special medical purposes need to be prepared differently but I’d risk losing a few nutrients with hot water tbh over the risk of the bacteria that can lurk in formula as it’s a horrific one

BecauseReasons · 09/01/2020 12:41

I thought the sterility thing was because not all bacteria is harmful and those types found on your breast are more unlikely to be dangerous than the types of bacteria in formula or on surfaces. Hence the need to sterilise bottles but not nipples.

Copperleaves · 09/01/2020 15:20

Well there can be a bit of difficulty with combination feeding as using bottles (whether of bm or fm) can affect the baby's desire to bf - can get more, quicker, from a bottle so some babies will prefer to do that and any missed feeds in the earlier days can affect your supply. Also there is the idea of the baby having nothing other than bm being better for their gut in early months. So by all means mixed feed but it's not without its own problems.

notacooldad · 09/01/2020 15:25

So by all means mixed feed but it's not without its own problems
That's an interesting view.
I found that all my feeding problems were solved the minute we went over to mixed feeds. I initially had wanted to do only bf but there was too many issues, not at least the health visitor saying I could only do one or the other. Naively I believed her.

Marinetta · 09/01/2020 15:29

Im not sure why you have decided that formula is the easy route because in my experience it was the more difficult option although I realise that breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone.

With formula you're making so much extra work for yourself: preparing feeds, cleaning bottles, buying formula, worrying that you're taking enogh formula on a trip out of the house.

I found breastfeeing so much more convenient, there was a constant supply of milk for the baby and I didn't have to faff on preparing and cleaing bottle and carting it around in a bag everytime I left the house.

Copperleaves · 09/01/2020 15:35

I'm glad it worked for you notacooldad but are you saying there is anything inaccurate in my post? The feed mothers often want to replace with a bottle is a night time one which is useful with regard to maintaining supply and placing the "order" for the next day (unless my bfing group leaders were having me on, of course!) And the idea of the "virgin gut" has been around for yonks.

geojojo · 09/01/2020 16:11

I honestly wouldn't put any pressure on yourself during pregnancy. Obviously breastfeeding is healthier for baby but there are many valid reasons why people choose not to or are unable to. Just make sure you are informed. I think a lot of decisions are sort of taken out of your hands once baby is here anyway. For example I was certain I would never cosleep but fell into it as the only way to get any sleep.
I actually found breastfeeding very easy and instinctive and formula feeding looks a lot more effort to me but everyone is different and I know I was lucky to have minimal pain.

IslayBrigid · 09/01/2020 17:03

@lovelyjubbly12 just tagging you in case you have lost the thread and wondering how to find it again (I did that once but I'm sure you aren't as silly as me!)

lovelyjubbly12 · 09/01/2020 17:14

Thank you everyone for your replies, I've read every one of them and they're all so helpful.

I guess for me my obstacle is breast feeding in public places or around other people but I've been shown a few shawls etc you can buy to cover up. Part of me feels like once my baby's here I won't give a damn, when my baby wants food I'll give it food wether other people look or not, but right now the thought of BF in public is daunting. And I don't want to isolate myself in anyway because of fear.

Defo a lot to think about. It's nice to hear everyone's different stories. 💕

OP posts:
Graphista · 09/01/2020 17:21

Bf in public is fine. I'm very shy about this kind of thing and never really had a problem.

One negative comment from an old lady in mothercare of all places but I dismissed her as a prude/bonkers.

Just buy/wear clothes that make it easier, button through shirts/blouses, cardigans rather than jumpers, then there's the 2 vest top trick (one goes up one goes down and as you've said shawls/wraps.

Not that I'm saying mothers have to use these ideas but if it means a mother feels more comfortable to bf if they feel suitably dressed why not.

Also I had dd in depths of winter there was a foot of snow on the ground! I wasn't (literally) freezing my tits off just to feed her Grin

Admittedly in summer I didn't worry so much and you're right once you're in the swing of things you're much less fussed what others think, baby becomes your focus.

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