Breast feeding or formula???

[lovelyjubbly12]

Just wondering what everyone's take on the subject is. I've been seriously considering breast feeding but I'm just not sure if i actually want too... and then I do a complete 360 and feel like a bad mum and almost pressure myself into wanting it....

Is there anyone else out there in the same boat? Does anyone have a pro and con on both types of feeding?

I just feel like formula would be easier all round. And I wouldnt usually take the easy route if it's not the best option but I feel overwhelmed as it is, and I feel like one less thing to master would be easier.

If it does work its like a magic blessing-
baby weight falls off you weight didnt fall off me at all
happy easily settled baby that you can pacify at any time
Not true in my case I'm afraid
no one else can calm your baby like you can! also not necessarily true. At times I was driven to distraction and felt like I wanted to pull my hair out and myself out of the window as baby wouldnt stop screaming. (True) Dh took over time and time again
I am pro breast feeding and pro formula but I dont buy into all the supposed benefits of breast feeding though even though it is a good thing.

I am too lazy to faff with measuring and boiling water and washing bottles and all that. BF was a lot easier, no extra equipment needed.

I took the "I'll just give it a go and see what happens" approach and ended up breastfeeding DS1 for 18 months. I'm now 3 months into breastfeeding DS2. I am lucky in that I find breastfeeding easy - never struggled with latch or pain or supply issues. The first time I found the cluster feeding and frequent night feeds hard at the start but DS2 is much easier even in those respects too - it's been a doddle the second time round.

I think there's nothing to lose by trying if you want to give it a go.

I’m sitting here breastfeeding my 5 week old, but I also give bottles of formula (combination feed).

I am definitely not an expert, but my current view on it is:

• It’s nice to know you’re passing on immunities, esp when they’re this young and vulnerable. Dd had bronchiolitis shortly after birth and was hospitalised, which made me more aware of this than before.

• breast feeding is a v.nice bonding thing.

• sterilising bottles to have ready is a ballache, so breast is easier.

• I feel v.guilty about the idea of giving up, even though i’m theoretically fine with just formula. I feel like i’d Be letting her down.

But...

• breastfeeding is SO painful. I mean so so painful. The midwives assured me it gets better around 8 weeks, so i’ve promised myself i’ll Give it until then, but if it doesn’t I may not continue indefinitely.

*i miss having autonomy over my own body, and being able to have any medication/beauty treatment/booze I need/fancy without having to stop because “not suitable for breastfeeding mothers”.

• it is very nice to have the opportunity for someone else to take her for an hour, especially as she is cluster-feeding for 6-7 hours a night at the moment.

So, a work in progress...

Good luck with whatever you decide!

When I had my first child he was bottle fed, I had an epidural that went wrong and was to ill to try breastfeeding. We got into a lovely little routine quickly and he was a happy and fed baby. I assumed as bottle feeding worked so well first time that I would do when I had my daughter, but once she was born I thought I'd try breast feeding. I managed it for a few weeks but it was so painful, the thought of the pain now makes my toes curl. By about 6 weeks I had totally stopped breastfeeding.

I think it really is down to personal preference and how you feel. Don't pressure yourself into anything, fed is best regardless.

I have friends that have breast fed for 18 months and friends that have bottle fed from day one, there is no difference in their children at all, they are all healthy and happy.

If your going to try breastfeeding I would say engage with support like LaLeche if needed. I found midwives and health visitors couldn't give me the support I needed. Also dont be afraid to offer a little formula of you or your baby are struggling emotionally or physically. I gave it to my baby after he struggled to latch in hospital and was getting tired. It gave me a break and him energy to try again. I told myself I would try it and if it didn't work for us I would switch to formula. It was a tough start so I decided to get support and I'm not ebf. As long as the baby is fed and your both happy and healthy it doesn't matter what you decide as long as it's the right choice for you

sorry that should say I now ebf not I'm not ebf!

I find breast feeding easier. No preparation, always available and ready. More sleep, just need to re latch baby on in the night and go back to sleep, 30 secs max.

If there are no issues and you are with baby then breastfeeding would probably be easier.

Formula feeding is much easier

I would rather die than breast feed again. I very nearly killed my self over trying with my first, the pain and loneliness and relentlessness and responsibility was overwhelming. It was not free as it cost me my sanity as well as nursing clothes, creams for my bleeding, cracked nipples, taxis to hospital for mastitis, breast pads etc. The guilt I felt at quitting several months in drove me to the edge again and it has taken years or counselling to get over the trauma I felt over the whole breastfeeding experience. So for me, formula all the way. They could triple the price and I'd still find a way to buy it

It's personal preference. Obviously breastfeeding is the optimum route however formula is extremely close.

For me, I doubt I am mentally strong enough to be the only supply of food for my child for X amount of months and so I am opting to formula feed, with the exception of the first few days when I am producing colostrum.

Obviously if I spontaneously enjoy breastfeeding then I will continue, however I very much doubt this is the case and I've seen first hand the negative mental onslaught it can cause from my sister.

I applaud all mothers who breastfeed, both those who do it from natural instinct and desire to those who do it for the sake of their child (but potentially at a cost to themselves).

At the end of the day, your child will appreciate a happy mum over a sad mum. If you are happy and breastfeeding, then fantastic. If you are happy and formula feeding, then that's great too. If you are sad and breastfeeding, then that's just not good at all.

I’m in a similar state of decision making re feeding. My first baby is due in April and whilst I appreciate the immunity protection aspects of breast feeding, deep down I know it’s not really the right choice for me for a whole host of reasons.

I can’t see the benefits that many other people do in breast feeding e.g around losing less sleep as I will not be co-sleeping, what I’ve read about cluster feeds it makes me feel trapped just thinking about it, and I don’t think I’d have the necessary level of comfort with feeding in front of family who want to visit us, let alone in public so again I feel trapped by that.
I honestly don’t think I’d be happy and in a good state of mental health if I committed to breast feeding just because I feel I should. I know breast fed babies that have terrible health and catch everything going and bottle fed babies who reach the age of 3 with barely a cold and visa versa of course but my point is the narrative around these things can be used to guilt trip.

But as I say I do know there are health benefits that formula cannot give and I’m not naive to that. So my thoughts at the moment are to try and give the colostrum for a couple of days and then switch to formula/bottles.

This is not to say I’m against breast feeding I’m absolutely not and completely in ore of those who do it. I just don’t think it’s right for me, doe my family and therefore I won’t be pressured into it.

I have two children. One mixed feed until 6 weeks and the 2nd had a few bottles in the early weeks but is now ebf. On the whole I’ve found breast feeding easier.

Breasting feeding pro

• I can feed anytime and any where without any prep. So no getting out of bed at night and the changing bag is already to go.
• Boob seems to solve most of the issues that upset baby
• much better for her allergy rather than formulas which taste vile
• health benefits for baby - immunity, reduced risk of some cancers, antibodies, reduced SIDS risk, reduced risk of some adult health conditions eg obesity
• health benefits for me , reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancer, diabetes, osteoporosis and heart disease
• breast feeding releases oxytocin (love hormone) for both Mum and baby so your both chilled out.
• I don’t have to worry about changing teat size of bottles or how much milk she is getting.
• Feeds to sleep in the early day, on an evening and during the night. No nights full of rocking
• cheaper
• safer too cosleep which makes life so much easier
• baby has allergies but I need need to wait to see paediatrician or try and convince someone of the issue as I’m in control of what I eat or don’t eat

Cons

• It is a skill that you and your baby need to learn
• It is sore to begin with
• Baby spends forever feeding at the beginning. You can watch loads of TV
• In the early days or if you have bottle refuser it’s all on you. Lots of my friends give their baby one bottle a night from a couple of weeks in. For a number of reasons I’m stuck feeding my baby from boob so I can’t go out without my baby. This is really hard at time but not forever.

Just to clarify my first child was ff from 6 weeks.

Health benefits are vastly over exaggerated and almost non existent on an individual level. Health benefits to mother are interesting; do some reading around actual cancer risk reduction - only applicable if you feed for a year and being pregnant/giving birth itself reduces risk by more than bf does

For me, breastfeeding and expressing worked. After a 10 day NICU stay I was lucky (if you can call it that) to come away with a newborn that would happily take boob or breast, plus a freezer full of frozen breast milk. I can't explain the relief of being able to hand my DD over to DH or DM and ask them to feed her while I went back to sleep for a few hours. Most BF mum's don't have that, at least not straight away. I was also able to go out for a night with friends when DD was six weeks old - something that, for me, I really needed. I left DH with plenty of pre made bottles of expressed milk.

I'm expecting my second in Feb so we will see what happens! I'm planning on BF again but I will also be very keen to get baby onto the bottle as I personally couldn't cope with a baby on the boob 24/7.

It does feel uncomfortable at the start, but to me it was so worth persevering - the only thing I'd add is that if you want your baby to be able to take a bottle, as soon as (s)he has cracked latching on without fussing, introduce a bottle. We did one per day of expressed milk, but it meant that I could guarantee a few hours' peace (DS was a terrible sleeper). If you don't want to express, formula is fine.

Oh and also, my daughter caught every bug under the sun despite being BF for 9 months! Whereas my friends formula fed daughter never seemed to get a sniffle!

Admittedly I only have experience of breastfeeding but all that faffing about with bottles and cleaning and sterilising and measuring and worrying about the right temperature and getting a bottle made up when the baby's screaming and you're out somewhere that all looks mighty tedious to me!

Breastfeeding defo at least give it a try it's a shame not to. You know formula is there should you need it but what better than a mother's milk made especially for them

A lot of the comments here have the "fuss" of making bottles as a con but cleaning a days worth of bottles and popping in the steriliser takes approx 3 mins. Using perfect prep, a bottle can be made in a matter of seconds. Obviously main con is cost, not just of formula but on initial costs of bottles/prep machine/steriliser.

After the first few weeks, breastfeeding is so much easier. I loved it. Had no problems at all breastfeeding DC1 and then DC2. Then I had DC3 and for some reason it just didn't work and he wasn't gaining weight. I expressed and mixed fed for a few weeks but that was a pain and really exhausting, so I switched to formula at four months. It was fine and he thrived which is the main thing, but I really wish breastfeeding had worked as I found it so much easier.

I did combination feeding for the first month and then went to exclusively breastfeeding and I’m still doing it now 6 months on. We planned to do combination so dad could be involved in feeding and bonding through that way, but it also meant I was able to get some sleep, we took shifts and this helped massively, I don’t know how anyone does it on their own, dd was a terrible sleeper. But after dp went back to work and after a stay in hospital with dd, ff just didn’t make sense to me anymore, breastfeeding was so much less effort now that she wasn’t feeding for an hour long, I could just sit up, put her on boob, put her back down and back to sleep we went rather than having to go make a bottle. I also now find its so much more convenient when you are out and about, I have so far fed in a restaurant, I choose to sit in the booth seats if these are available as this adds to privacy, I usually feed in the car or in a baby change area.

But the biggest plus to me is the bond you have through breastfeeding, it’s our thing and our time and I love it.

My DS is currently having a mix of bf and formula. Just a few points about formula feeding... I sterilised all the bottles before the first use but its not recommended after every use. Just rinse immediately with cold water, then wash in warm soapy water when you have time. Also, in my area the tap water is good quality so I can use tap water to mix the formula without boiling and cooling it. Midwife recommended filling a glass jug/bottle with water at start of day and leaving it at room temperature, doesn't need to be warmed for baby. Helps make the process a little bit quicker. In saying that, I find the bf more convenient and with the health benefits its something that I want to continue to do as much as possible.