Struggling not to drink while pregnant

[plumpudding32]

I used to be a big drinker and would get through one bottle of wine on most days, consuming about 60-70 units per week. It was bad for my health (mental and physical) and for my wallet, and I’d half-heartedly tried to cut down on numerous occasions but never really did.

Earlier this year I fell pregnant with my first. I was five weeks when I found out and and haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. I’m now 22 weeks so have been completely sober for almost four months - the longest I’ve gone without a drink since I was 17.

Mostly I’ve been fine with not drinking, but I’ve really struggled on certain occasions - particularly going to restaurants, when I really miss a glass of wine or two with my meal. Over Christmas I’ve stayed with family and again have found it hard not to drink while others have been getting merry on the prosecco and wine. I just feel really flat and miserable when I can’t join in.

I’m determined to stay strong and won’t touch any alcohol for the duration of my pregnancy. I don’t doubt that I can do it, but I’m finding it such an almighty struggle and just really hard.

I’m not sure what the point of this post is really - I just needed somewhere to vent.

Is it the social aspect you miss or the feeling alcohol gives you?

Another question: were you honest with your midwife at your booking appointment when she asked how much you drink?

Honestly it might be worth discussing with her because you can't go back to drinking that much when you have a baby to look after.

Vent away - I feel your pain! I wasn't quite such a big drinker as you, but had a couple of glasses if wine most nights and I REALLY like whisky. I haven't drunk anything since finding out, and won't (my understanding is that a small glass of wine once a week after the 1st trimester is actually ok, but I think I'd just want more...) but God I miss it.

We had some 'Nosecco' over Xmas as I'm breastfeeding and on antibiotics too. It was really nice and felt like I was joining in. Why don't you give that a go and see how you get on?

Read the "Easyway for women to stop drinking" by Allen Carr. It changes the way you think about drinking. I stopped smoking 15 years ago after reading the easyway to stop smoking version and I have now stopped drinking with this book. Good luck!

I had the Nosecco too - actually not too bad.

And if you like beer there are loads of non alcoholic versions around.. you have to try a few to see which you like though (nanny state is grim, I quite like Becks blue and done of the weissbeers)

I can really empathise with what you're saying. I drank often before the pregnancy, maybe not as much as you say but DH and I would often split a bottle of wine in the evenings and I would definitely have a bottle on Saturday nights. I find that I was used to having wine as a means to relax or as a treat and now that I don't have that it is a struggle sometimes. I'm looking at the positives that maybe this is getting me out of bad habits and hopefully I will continue post pregnancy.

To help with having to give up wine, I have found that non-alcoholic wine and beer are a very good substitute. It means you have the activity of having a drink which you are used to without actually doing it. Realistically, this is just a habit and something we are used to doing so we can trick ourselves with non-alcoholic!

Good luck and it sounds like you are doing great :)

Anni Grace will be your friend. Go online and do the free 30 day coaching the Alcohol Experiment
Honestly it will change your way of thinking about alcohol and help you chose whether to stop or moderate. Save you slipping back into bad habits after the r baby is born. Good luck and well done
Ps you have probably managed on will power so far which is very impressive but not easy to sustain. Annie doesnt do that

It feels like the four months off has really reset my drinking and I know I won’t go back to the level I was before. It’s just the one or two glasses with dinner that I really, really miss.

I’ve tried the non alcoholic wine and Prosecco (including Nosecco) and really don’t like them unfortunately.

ps I found sippable fruit drinks a great substitute, Nix and Kix Mango and ginger with cayenne!

I agree with the fruit drinks. Even Shloer or J20's - something as simple as that may be worth a try.

OP please be careful once you've had your baby. New motherhood is notorious for sending already problematic drinking (which you describe) out of control. Use the time to try to get a grip of your drinking. Annie Grace and Allen Carr are both good shouts. If you like podcasts have a lister to Love Sober, Home, The Edit and Unruffled.

If you are a gin drinker ever, Seedlip is actually not a bad substitution. I had some nice seedlip cocktails over Xmas.

I had some Nosecco too and bought non-alcoholic mulled wine for Xmas which was really nice. It’s not the same, but it helped. I order mocktails when I go out with friends and will sometimes pour a soft drink into a wine glass in the evening. For some reason psychologically It feels better to hold a wine glass even though there’s nothing alcoholic in it

@PixieN where was the mulled wine from please? I might get some for new year..

Have you tried some of the non alcoholic gins? Eg seedlips. Really nice with tonic

OP please be careful once you've had your baby. New motherhood is notorious for sending already problematic drinking (which you describe) out of control.

I didn’t know that. How come?

Seedlip is a great substitute at home but it’s the glass of red with dinner that I particularly miss.

Also OP I hope you're right to be confident about not returning to the level you were drinking but for all of us who don't manage to drink in moderation you're describing the classic delusion that we'll just have that one lovely glass of wine with a meal. It never is just one glass of wine though because one glass of wine and then stopping is worse than no wine at all. And so it goes on.

Because it's so stressful

You get non alcoholic merlot from m and s - not amazing but gives the illusion of a glass of red.

If you mean being out for dinner, then don’t think anyone can really suggest something that would be available in a restaurant.

No advice but I admire your determination to steer clear. Well done

@CatintheFireplace I was given this one as an Xmas pressie and ordered a couple of bottles from Holland and Barrett. I couldn’t taste the difference.

You need some good alternatives. I hate non alcoholic wine and fizz but really rate Sainsbury's sparkling wine. I also really like non alcoholic kopperberg and tesco cans of gin and tonic. Stocking up on nice soft drinks works well too and I used to drink tonic water in a nice glass with ice, as well as making my own cocktails. I'm not going to lie, it's no equivalent to red wine!

I feel your pain here over christams is the first time I've really fancied a drink it's hard when everyone around you is getting drunk and being happy you feel like your being a misery x

This was lovely 😊