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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant - A bit confused!

27 replies

MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 13:35

Hi all

So recently discovered I'm pregnant! Not unwanted but certainly unplanned! I've been doing some googling and I'm a bit confused really so was just wondering what you think

So me and my husband had unprotected sex at the very beginning of my fertile window. We were a bit drunk so ended up not using a condom (irresponsible I know!) and I hadn't checked my period tracker to see when my fertile window was coming up (so that we could avoid it!) but when I checked the next day it said the day we DTD was the day of unprotected sex. I read that even though sperm can live within 5 days it's not THAT common and they usually die within 1 or 2 days? And this has (naughtily) happened before quite a few times but years ago, so I'm thinking that I actually got pregnant the day of ovulation despite using a condom? Was our anniversary, not that it's an excuse when we usually avoid it! But I'm thinking its then? And there was such a small hole, if any, that we didn't see? I have friends this has happened to as well - but they didn't tell me until I told them about this! I think it was then, as I've also been googling and condoms are actually only something like safe 82% of the time!

Just wondering your thoughts, as thought we were pretty safe!

Ps I know when I ovulated so I wasn't early or anything like that

OP posts:
Boymummy3 · 27/11/2019 13:40

I don't think anyone can actually tell you what day you got pregnant but the only thing I was say is it doesn't really matter when dating the pregnancy as such as midwife will just go from your Lmp.. Is there a reason you really need to know what date you conceived or is it more of a wondering? X

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 13:42

Oh no I'm just wondering and wondered what people thought that's all :) as I had read even though sperm can live up to 5 days it's quite a low chance as most die quite soon after intercourse!

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Shookethtothecore · 27/11/2019 13:44

I had an unexpected pg last year, she is currently 10 weeks old and fast asleep
It took us over a year to conceive my sons and used a period tracker, the dates of conception for my daughter were in my mind, impossible.
But they couldn’t of been because she’s here and that’s real, so I think that my tracker was always off and that’s why it took so long to have my sons and my daughter was (a happy) accident

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 13:47

Aww how lovely! I know when I ovulated though as I had my usual pain (which nhs says is a symptom of ovulation and I always get it on time!) so I was just a bit surprised. Not trying to date it, was just seeing if people agree with my theory

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Boymummy3 · 27/11/2019 13:50

@MiEl20
Yeah I've read that too about sperm living for upto 5 days I never see how that's possible but the body does amazing things at times eh x the whole ovulation thing confuses me mind as I've never been able to track mine due to pcos x

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 13:51

Do you all think it was the 5 days then? Cause I really don't

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 27/11/2019 13:52

I conceived twice only having sex on day 23 of a 28 day cycle!
Both girls.
Ovulation for me is day 12...

NoGuarantee · 27/11/2019 13:55

Does it matter?

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 14:01

Yes, for some reason to me it does

OP posts:
Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 14:01

I think from what I've read that's quite rare, but lovely!

OP posts:
NoGuarantee · 27/11/2019 14:02

Why?

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 14:10

It just does. Because I'm confused and want to know what people think as even though sperm can live 5 days it's a very low chance and most should be dead in 1/2

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 27/11/2019 14:55

Just don't tell your dh. Him thinking he has Super Sperm will likely go to his head!!
Grin

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 15:02

Haha he doesn't think it's the first time either! It happened so often as irresponsible late teeners/early twenties that we don't think it can be!

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wineymummy · 27/11/2019 15:25

We DTD two days before my 'fertile window' even started, and I got pregnant. My due date calculated my LMP was brought forward 5 days at my dating scan - so either those sperm survived 5 days or so, or I ovulated early. Who knows. Shows that my app was totally out though (I only used it to record dates though, no BBT etc.)

SunshineAngel · 27/11/2019 15:35

I'm probably jumping to conclusions here, but is there any chance you slept with someone else, and THAT'S why you're trying everything to convince yourself conception couldn't possibly have been at that time?

Otherwise, it's just odd - as it really doesn't matter.

firstimemamma · 27/11/2019 15:43

My sonographer told me it was 7 days not 5.

I don't see why it matters really. You're pregnant now, that's the thing that matters, not splitting hairs over the exact time of conception.

NoGuarantee · 27/11/2019 16:10

You will never know what day the sperm that fertilised the egg was released. Unless it was two different guys and you do a paternity test. If it was the same guy, then this question is genuinely never ever going to be answered for you.

villamariavintrapp · 27/11/2019 16:31

You'll never absolutely know (assuming both times with the same guy) but obviously the chances of conceiving when you weren't using any contraception is much higher than the chance that you did when you were using condoms.

Jsnb9319 · 27/11/2019 16:36

I became quite interested in finding out which day sex and ovulation resulting in conception all could have happened on and read a lot of scientific journals about it. May have been borderline obsessive for the two weeks between ovulation and missed period!!

Sperm can live for up to 5 days but you are right, it tends to be the shorter end of that. The most likely explanation is a difference in ovulation. From the numerous scientific papers I read, the only way to tell exactly when ovulation occurred is with an ultrasound. Measuring LH and temperature can all fluctuate cycle to cycle in the same woman.

I completely get wanting to know though!

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 17:07

Thanks hun, glad it's not just me! So I'm probably right? From ultrasound I conceived dead on the day of protected sex so guessing that's right

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NoGuarantee · 27/11/2019 19:25

Maybe you ovulated a day or two early, and the sperm lived for 3 days and so it was the first sperm that fertilised the egg. Mate. This is what I'm saying. You're not going to know.

Just because your app says you ovulated that day, doesn't mean you did. Just because you DTD on such a such a date, you don't know what day you got pregnant.

Just let it go. Get a paternity test when the baby is born!

Wheresthesandman · 27/11/2019 19:30

It’s unlikely sperm will live for that long, but it’s certainly not impossible. I’d say it’s more likely that happened that the condom failed, if there were no signs of a tear and it was put on when it was supposed to be put on.

LH1987 · 27/11/2019 19:32

Hi OP, we DTD 5 days before I ovulated, we didn't DTD after that as I wasn't really feeling very well, but we conceived. I am sure of my dates as I am absolutely regular and the baby is measuring exactly to the day on my first two early scans. So it is possible for the sperm to live for 5 days in there, in my experience.

Original poster
MiEl20 · 27/11/2019 20:10

I'm actually really hurt that you think I cheated. I'm giving you the cold hard facts that I know and the evidence that I read. And I do know when I ovulated, thank you

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