Hi, Im extremely sad and angry with myself over the position I have let myself get into. I am a single dad with custody of 3 young children (aged 4, 6, and 8 YO). I work full time and raise my children on my own and have done for the last 3.5 years. They are amazing and we work so well as a family unit - life couldn't be any better under the circumstances. I moved away from family for work several years ago so my nearest family member is 120 miles away... At present my children have not seen their mom for 19 months as she has moved away without any idea. I get zero support, of which I don't moan about as i'm fortunate to have a good job and be motivated to my children. They have everything children need, an extremely special bond with me, they are taught morals / values, have life experiences etc. Again I am lucky to be able to do this. I have got my head down over the initial 3 years on my own ensuring my children are in a good place emotionally after the disappearing act of mother.
I have just done the basics right, worked hard, renovated a house for us to grow old in, and been a dads taxi of course.
Anyway now the scene is set, I have a major issue. Over the last year I have been building a relationship with a girl who I thought was very caring and in a similar position to me would be a safe bet. We have been open about our situation, limited time we spent together and agreed on things like kids, marriage moving in together etc. It was clear that as she had 2 children and I have 3, that I did not want any more children as it just doesn't make sense obviously to me and I dont want to change nappies for ever! Anyway after being on the pill she is pregnant and basically told me to f off she is keeping it. I know we can all say you should have not listened to her and used a condom but it has been a year and i thought trust was there. My point of view is that I have been clear from day one and this is all against my consent. She already has 2 children off different dads and I am not judging by this but surely she wants solid foundations to void being in her current position again. She has told me that she is having it regardless of what I say. I know her kids dads are not the best so she wants a good dad but this is all wrong. She is not listening to me and everytime I try and talk calmly to her she goes off on one and i see a side I never once thought was there. I understand that there is nothing i can do so this message really is me venting off and hoping that someone can tell me they have had something similar or what on earth I am going to do. I would never ever walk away from a child so I will be there for it no matter what, with regards to the mother I cannot be false and this is betrayal and whilst I am not a nasty person I cannot move forward with a women like this. I feel such a fool!!